


It's a Cruel Summer (of Missing the Mark)

by mundane_blues



Category: NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Slow Burn, Thriller, born out of both inspiration and dissatisfcation with mysteries, rv and dream are great in general and i love them, set in a fictional town somewhere in NorCal, thus: this fic was written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:20:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 85,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22673968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mundane_blues/pseuds/mundane_blues
Summary: “Yeri? Sorry, did I wake you up?” Jeno sounds a bit more high-strung than usual.“Yes, you did. Jeno, why the hell are you calling me at 7 in the morning–”“Have you seen Mark?”“What? No. I dropped him off at your house two nights ago and then I drove back home,” Yeri yawns sleepily. “We’re meeting for coffee later today though. Why?”“Yeri, I think he’s gone missing.”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Kim Yerim | Yeri & Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Kim Yerim | Yeri & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 47
Kudos: 64





	1. Quiet of the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so a couple of things before we get into this:
> 
> By the nature of this story (it is a mystery), tags are kept pretty minimal so that there’s no spoilers. I will emphasize that this is not just any summer – it’s a **_cruel_** summer, and is also tagged as a mystery and thriller (and I have used an archive warning), so make of that what you will. However, all the main characters and main platonic + romantic relationships are tagged. Cannot stress the "slow" in slow burn enough.
> 
> I’ve been working on this for awhile! Got inspired to write this after listening to "Cruel Summer" by Taylor Swift. A YouTube comment said “This song sounds like it would be at the end of an epic teen movie”, to which I thought, “Well, what if this song was an epic teen series?” A couple days later I was struck by inspiration and thought “WAIT THIS COULD BE A GREAT FIC CENTERED AROUND THE DREAMIES AND RV” and thus this story was born. Hope you’re excited for it!
> 
> Disclaimer: This work is entirely fictional, and does not reflect upon any real persons, places, or things mentioned in this story. It's A Cruel Summer’s story, writing and characters belong to me. The song this story was based on belongs to Taylor Swift, Annie Clark, and Jack Antonoff. Do not repost anywhere and do not print/distribute.

**PART ONE: ROLL THE DICE**

**Act I**

_Fever dream high in the quiet of the night, you know that I caught it_

It’s been a long day. The afterglow of the sun’s rays still tingle on their skin, some sand chafing at their toes, seawater clinging to their hair. It’s peaceful, driving along, the purplish hues of the night painting the sky save for the faint tinge of gold on the horizon, the moon illuminating the trees around them. Humming along to “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, Yeri and Mark sit contentedly in the quiet of the night as they drive back to Journey, California from their day spent basking on hot sand and splashing in cerulean waves.

Today was a perfect summer day, Yeri thinks. There’s no better way to describe it – from lounging under the glow of the sun with Mark, to gossiping with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu about the senior girls’ latest escapades, to eating the dumplings that Lucas’s mom had packed for them, it had been, all things considered, a wonderful day. 

And it was such a refreshing feeling to spend time with Mark, who had been too busy to hang out with them so far this summer. If she’s being honest, Yeri thinks the whole day was a euphoric fever dream – rarely does she feel like a day could’ve been so perfect, so opulent, so picturesque and unforgettable. It feels like she’s in a movie, starring as the main actress of her coming-of-age story that’s now in the ending credits and she doesn’t want it to end.

“Today was perfect,” she breathes comfortably, turning to face Mark in the passenger’s seat. “I wish everyday could be like this.”

“Yeah, me too,” Mark replies. “But hey, we still have all of this cruel summer left. Plenty more beach days like the one we all had today.” 

Yeri raises her eyebrows, surprised at Mark’s choice of words. “Cruel? I wouldn’t describe today as cruel. Fun, definitely. Unless you think hanging out with us is torture instead of fun.”

“No, no, I just meant...well, you know what I mean,” he replies softly.

Yeri tilts her head slightly in agreement. “You’ve been missing a lot this summer, Mark. Why are you so busy? Don’t tell me you’re starting your summer assignments early already,” she teases. “It’s only going to be our junior year next year.” 

He sighs. “I just...you know how it is, Yeri…there’s just been a lot on my mind lately.”

“Like what? Is it about...”

“I don’t know. I think I’m just stressed,” he says, a tad defeated, “worried about the future and stuff. But don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He turns to glance at Yeri, a smile on his face, but it only seems there to stop her from worrying about him. “It was nice, today. It was really nice to hang out with you guys and relax and go to the beach. I had a lot of fun. Let’s do it more often.”

She only hums along in agreement.

When they finally pull up into his driveway, Yeri gives Mark a warm hug goodbye. 

“Mark?” Yeri says when he gets out of the car.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do anything you’re going to regret.”

A tight smile forms on his lips. “I won’t. Promise.” 

“I missed you.”

“Missed you too.”

“See you in two days at the coffee shop?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” he calls back as she pulls out of his driveway. 

***

Yeri wakes up the next morning still riding the wave of nostalgia from yesterday. It was definitely going to be a day she’ll remember. Feeling rather lazy, Yeri decides to just have a day at home, meaning she’ll binge watch some episodes of ‘The Office’ with Jennie on the couch while Doyoung spends the day tutoring elementary schoolers in math. 

There’s a bit of a rainstorm, uncharacteristically, in the middle of summer. She and Jennie come to the conclusion that it’s potentially caused by climate change – the weather isn’t the same as they remembered it from their childhood days. 

Today feels different from yesterday. Relaxed, mundane and just plain, but Yeri enjoys spending time with Jennie in the living room as they watch Netflix and, even more, she loves hearing all the gossip Jennie has about high school boys.

“Are you really gonna go out with Jongin?” Yeri asks her. “I know he’s hot but...he doesn’t really seem like your type.”

“He’s cute, and he’s really, really sweet,” Jennie says indulgently. “And I know he’s not exactly my type, and he’s going off to college in a few months, but I don’t know, we’ll see...I was thinking of going on a hike with him sometime next week. Not sure though.”

“Not sure because he’s going to college?”

“Well, there were some other guys at the party last night that caught my eye.”

“Ah, Johnny and Yuta’s party?” Yeri asks. “How was that? Doyoung went too, right?”

“Yeah, Doey was there,” Jennie nods. “He mostly hung out with his USB friends that night though. Oh, but I did see him hanging out with Jeno too.”

Yeri is surprised at that. She knows Jeno pretty well – he’s one of her best friends after all. But Jeno never struck her as a party kind of person. “Jeno was there? I thought he was seeing a movie with Jaemin, Donghyuck and Renjun.”

“Oh, well yeah, he came with Donghyuck? I think Johnny picked them up. I mean, you know how freshmen are – they drink too much at parties, and then Jeno was paranoid about going home and his parents catching him drunk,” Jennie explains. “I think Doey and Donghyuck got him sobered up and back home though.”

“Mmmm, I’ll ask him about that next time I see him,” Yeri says. “Anyways, who were these hot guys that got your attention?”

Jennie gives her a devilish smirk. “Well, just one guy. Jaehyun Jung.”

“No way, Jaehyun?” Yeri looks at Jennie with a knavish smile. “Dude, don’t you know the rumors? Apparently Jaehyun and Joy are a thing.”

“Okay but I saw both of them last night at the party and they like had _zero_ chemistry, everyone says they’re super flirty but I didn’t see it at all, personally,” Jennie scoffs. “Why, do you know if him and Joy are a thing? Ask her and find out. I’m not gonna do anything if he’s taken, but if he’s not…”

“Oh my god, you really like him, don’t you,” Yeri laughs.

“Not really,” Jennie shrugs casually. “Now, Rosé, on the other hand...”

Again, more surprise. This is brand new information to her – she never even thought of Rosé Park having a crush on Jaehyun. This is why she always loves gossiping with Jennie, because she has the dirt on the boys _and_ the girls at school.

“Oh my god, I’m totally gonna ask Joy about the Jaehyun thing,” Yeri replies. “I mean yeah, Joy is one of my best friends, but if she’s not dating Jaehyun, then he and Rosé _have_ to get together.”

“Right!? Rosé and Jaehyun would make such a cute couple,” Jennie agrees.

“Oh my god. That’s so...High School Musical of them, wow, she’s the singer into science, and he’s the cute popular jock who’s a sweetheart. Wow...that's perfect.”

“It’s just _so_ Troy and Gabriella, right?” Jennie grins.

***

Yeri wakes up the following day because her cell phone is ringing, hazy morning dawn lazily glowing on her window sill. She doesn’t remember setting an alarm and groggily lifts her head up from her pillow to turn it off. Instead she sees that Jeno is calling. She has no idea why he’s calling her so early in the morning, and god forbid he let her get some sleep. However, in the end she decides to pick up anyways to sleepily berate him for waking her up at 7AM. It’s summer and she wants to sleep in.

“Hello?” she grumbles into the phone.

“Yeri? Sorry, did I wake you up?” Jeno sounds a bit more high-strung than usual.

“Yes, you did. Jeno, why the hell are you calling me at 7 in the morning–”

“Have you seen Mark?”

This makes Yeri pause for a bit. _Mark? Mark…_

Oh yeah. She dropped him off at his house two days ago. She’s supposed to meet him for coffee today, she’d almost forgotten.

“What? No. I dropped him off at your house two nights ago and then I drove back home,” Yeri yawns sleepily. “We’re meeting for coffee later today though. Why?”

“Yeri, I think he’s gone missing.”

That sentence rattles Yeri out of her slumbered state. “What?”

“We can’t find him. I thought he was coming home last night but he hasn’t, and I haven’t seen him at all since he went to the beach with you, and neither have Sunmi or Taeyong. I’ve tried calling Lucas, Donghyuck, and now you, but no one knows where he is,” Jeno replies, worry seeped into his rapid torrent of words. “I was calling him all day yesterday but every time it went to voicemail. And maybe I’m just being paranoid but I’m scared something happened to him, Yeri.” 

“Uh...okay, let’s, let’s calm down here for a minute, Jeno,” Yeri yawns, rubbing her eyes. “I think you’re getting a little carried away here. Mark just probably has his phone on airplane mode or something.”

She spends the rest of the morning calming Jeno down and talking to him, and then afterwards eats a belated breakfast. As she pours the milk into her cereal bowl, she starts an episode of ‘Pretty Little Liars’ that she’d left unfinished on Netflix and tries calling Mark. Straight to voicemail.

Yeri remembers the carton of B.A. Bleeker strawberries she’d gotten at the farmer’s market with Jaemin and Donghyuck a couple days ago and pauses the episode. They were from a man that Jaemin’s parents liked. If she’s remembering right, his name is Taeil, or something like that.

After rummaging through the fridge, she finds the strawberries behind a bag of mushrooms in the produce drawer, and slices up six of them to add to her cereal. She sits down and unpauses the episode. She gets bored about seven minutes in, and calls Mark again, but it goes straight to voicemail. She switches to a midseason episode of ‘Arrested Development’ instead. 

After washing her cereal bowl, she changes out of her pajamas and heads towards the coffee shop, listening to “Rearrange” by Prince on the drive there. She tries calling Mark a couple more times. No avail. She calls Donghyuck – he picks up, and she asks if he’s seen Mark, he tells her that he hasn’t seen or heard from Mark either. 

“Really?” she asks him a bit nervously. “You...you didn’t see him at all?”

“Nope, haven’t seen or heard from him,” Donghyuck replies. “He texted me about meeting up to hang out when he came back from the beach, but I went to Johnny and Yuta’s party because I figured I’d see him there.”

Yeri isn’t sure whether to feel relieved or anxious at that news. “Oh. Okay. Well, just let me know if you see him, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course! I’ll be on the Mark Lee lookout,” he jokes.

“Thanks, Hyuck,” she sighs. “I’ll see you later!”

She hangs up and turns onto Evergreen Lane, parks her car on the street, and walks to Cat’s Corner, her favorite local coffee shop.

“Hey Yeri!” Kun waves at her from behind the register as she opens the door. “How’s everything going today?”

“It’s going good, Kun,” she replies politely. Admittedly, she doesn’t really know Kun, but he’s really close to Dejun, Lucas, and Renjun, and she thinks it would be impolite to not make small talk. Pleasantries are just that, nothing more, nothing less. And he is one of the better (and impressively, only high schooler) baristas working at the coffee shop. “Busy day today?”

Kun shrugs noncommittally. “I guess it's pretty much the usual. Not much happening this morning besides people hanging out in a coffee shop and having conversations. What can I get you? The usual?”

After ordering her usual matcha latte (ironically, she can’t stand the taste of coffee), she looks across the coffee shop, noticing Kunhang and Yangyang at a table playing chess. Again, she doesn’t really know them, but they’re friends with her friends, and pleasantries are polite. She opts for a seat near one of the windows, the light meandering in and illuminating the mahogany wood of her table. Popping her headphones into her ears, she puts her playlist on shuffle – Depeche Mode’s “Policy of Truth” is the first song to play. She waits twenty minutes for Mark to show up – he doesn’t. More calls, all go straight to voicemail.

While she’s waiting for Mark to show up as she reads _Paper Towns_ (she doesn’t know why Mark and Donghyuck want her and Renjun to read this book so badly), the door opens and she sees Joy and Jaehyun walk in.

“Joy!” she calls her over as she takes her headphones out of her ears.

Joy sees her and smiles, waving at her. After she tells Jaehyun her order, she walks over to talk to her. Jaehyun stays at the counter and strikes a conversation with Kun, something about how cool it is that Kun’s trying to develop a new drink for the coffee shop.

“Hey, Yeri!” Joy says brightly. “How are you? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m just waiting for Mark to get here.”

Something shifts, and Yeri isn’t sure what it is, but Joy’s expression changes slightly. It’s almost imperceptible, but Yeri has known Joy long enough to pick on her mannerisms. “Oh, Mark! Are you here on a date with him today?” Joy asks her, smirking as if she knows something about Mark and Yeri.

“No, we’re not like that,” Yeri laughs. “We’re just friends, Joy. We’re just gonna meet and get coffee and work on this plan he had.”

“Plan?” Joy asks confusedly.

“Yeah, like for junior year or something like that? Start our summer assignments for APs, research universities and majors,” Yeri says. “You know, grown up stuff adults do.”

“Oh, that kind of plan,” Joy nods her head. “You guys are so young though, trying to figure that all out already! I mean, me and Jaehyun don’t even know where we want to apply to college yet,” she replies. “Don’t stress too much about it.”

“It was more of just a chance for us to talk about stuff and uh...other things,” Yeri says with a bit of uncertainty. She doesn’t know exactly how well Mark knows Joy, but Yeri doesn’t feel like it’s her place to tell Joy about Mark’s personal life. She also doesn’t know if she’s going to bring that up with Mark today. 

A bit anxious at those thoughts, she decides to change the topic of conversation. “So, you and Jaehyun?” she glances over, giving Joy a pointed look.

“Yo, Joy, your Phrenic is done,” Jaehyun calls her. “Thanks for the coffee, Kun. Good luck with developing that drink you’re working on!”

Yeri shudders slightly at the name of the drink. She doesn’t understand how her friends can tolerate the amount of espresso in the Phrenic. Just one shot in any drink makes her gag.

Then again, Jaemin gets eight shots of espresso in his Iced Americano at Starbucks, so she just chalks it up to her friend’s complete lack of functioning taste buds.

“That’s my cue!” Joy beams at her. “And for the record, we’re officially _not_ a thing.”

“But unofficially?” Yeri asks smugly.

“Some things are best left unofficial,” she winks before getting up from the chair. “It was good talking to you, though! Let’s get lunch with Wendy and Seulgi sometime soon.”

“Yeah, just text in the group chat!”

“Hope Mark shows up soon for your date!” Joy teases.

“It’s not a date,” Yeri says good-humoredly. 

“Okay, sure, tell me about it later!” Joy waves back at her.

“Bye Yeri!” Jaehyun says.

“Bye, _lovers_ ,” Yeri singsongs, smirking at how Jaehyun stares at Joy in surprise and Joy just laughs in response. She shakes her head, finding it almost annoying how obvious Joy and Jaehyun had been ever since prom, wondering why they never made it official. Their flirting is a bit over the top – she fails to see how Jennie doesn’t notice it. She goes back to reading _Paper Towns_.

Yeri ends up getting to the sixtieth page when she decides to stop reading, scrolling through her phone absentmindedly. Still no message from Mark, still not answering her calls. She sighs. 

Where is he? 

At this point she’s annoyed. It’s not like Mark to be super flaky and unresponsive, and he had promised they would hang out more this summer. He shouldn’t be ignoring her, especially when he’s gotten Jeno all worried over nothing.

“We still have all of this summer left,” Mark told her. And it’s true, technically they’re only two weeks into summer break, but still, Yeri wants to hang out with him as much as possible. 

The door opens and she looks up – Mark’s older brother and Yuta walk in.

“Hey, Taeyong!” Yeri waves to Taeyong.

“Oh!” Taeyong glances over while he gestures to Yuta, who gives him the thumbs up to go talk to her as he orders their drinks from Kun, striking up a conversation about the exact measurements of the recipe for the new drink he’s trying to create. “Hey, Yeri! What’s up?”

“Hey!” Yeri replies. “How are you?”

“Good, good,” Taeyong says. “Me and Yuta are just gonna go get some coffee and then go meet up with Johnny and some other people later. How are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m actually supposed to be getting coffee with Mark right now. I haven’t seen him though. Do you know where he is? Was he at Johnny and Yuta’s party?”

“Err...to be honest, no,” Taeyong shakes his head. “I kinda...was busy that night? I was really...busy. So...yeah, no, I didn't see him.”

“Oh, so were you...?”

“No idea what you’re asking,” Taeyong replies, waving a dismissive hand. “It was just a long night. Trust me, I’m fine. Just busy, that’s all.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell Mark, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she states evenly. “I always say snitches get stitches. Just...I know it’s your business, but he told me about it. He doesn’t want to see you end up there again, Taeyong,” she tells him frankly. “So I hope you just do what you know is best, okay?”

“I will,” Taeyong nods his head. “Trust me, it’s not happening again.”

“Got it.”

“Thanks, Yeri. For not telling him.”

“Yo, Yong!” Yuta calls from across the coffee shop, smiling crookedly at Taeyong. “Our drinks are done.” Taeyong looks back and sees Yuta holding up his Phrenic like he’s making a sales pitch for the signature Cat’s Corner drink.

“That’s my cue,” Taeyong says. “Anyways, no, I haven’t seen Mark. I’ll let him know you were waiting for him when I see him next, yeah? Don’t be mad at him, he probably forgot, he’s been busy, out and about these past couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s fine,” Yeri replies. “I was just wondering if you knew where he was, because…”

_Yeri, I think he’s gone missing._

“...I just wanted to know what he’s up to today, that’s all,” Yeri finishes. “Tell Jeno if you see him, he’s getting worried.”

“For sure,” Taeyong nods. “Well, I’ll see you around, Yeri!”

“See you later!” she waves back.

“Bye, Yeri!” Yuta adds on cheerfully. “See you around!”

“Bye, Yuta!”

Afterwards, she texts in the group chat, but still no response from Mark, except Chaeyoung asking Lucas to spill all the details about a party Johnny and Yuta had thrown. Dejun also asks Lucas to tell all. How Lucas still had the energy to go to a party after a day at the beach, she’d never understand – Yeri and Mark had been wiped out by the time they had gotten back to Journey. How Chaeyoung still had gossip she didn’t know that apparently Lucas did, she’d never understand – Chaeyoung was just as well tuned as Jennie to the high school drama that happened in Journey, California.

Tzuyu texts her saying she’s sick of hearing about Lucas, Dejun and Chaeyoung talk about the party in the group chat. Yeri snorts and texts her she feels the same. They joke that Mark probably turned off his phone to stop getting messages about the party. They exchange messages for a bit. 

She gets another message notification, it’s from Renjun.

**the mofo fox** [just now] : _Want to join me for dinner with Jeno + Jaemin?_

She hasn’t hung out with them for a bit, and she feels bad about not seeing them – she likes their company and considers them all close friends. 

Chaeyoung, Lucas, Jungwoo, Dejun and Tzuyu are fun to talk to because they’re all in the same grade and all have shared experiences. But Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin are fun to talk to because, on some deeper level, all four of them have an unspoken closeness that just comes naturally. She, Donghyuck and Mark all share that closeness with them – they’ve all been friends ever since their first day of middle school P.E class.

Feeling her stomach growl, and feeling like Mark is going to be a no-show, she starts walking back to her car and texts Renjun that she’ll be there in fifteen minutes. 

As she walks towards the entrance, she spots some of Mark’s USB friends coming out the door – it’s Ten, Johnny, and her brother.

“Hey, Doey, it’s your sister,” Johnny notes. “What’s up, Yeri.”

“Oh hey, Yeri,” Doyoung says. “What are you doing here?” 

“Uh, having dinner with Jeno and friends. What are you doing here? I thought you had your stats class at Cabrillo today until 7, _bro_ ,” Yeri says.

“Awkward,” Ten snickers.

“Maybe it actually ended at 5,” Doyoung shrugs.

“Hey yo, we’ll wait for you back at the car,” Johnny calls back as he heads back to his Ford Explorer with Ten, clicking the keys to unlock the doors.

“Gotcha, Johnny,” Doyoung says breezily.

“Lying to mom and dad? Wow, that’s rich, since you always lecture me about how I always lie to them,” she replies. “H&M hanging out with his friends instead of earning more units to put on his college apps? I wonder what mom would think.”

“Don’t tell mom about this, and I won’t tell Jennie that you’re the one that broke her Bluetooth speaker,” he says snarkily in Korean. “Or are you too rusty to understand what I’m saying?”

“Oh please, like I would tell on you,” Yeri replies in English. “You know how I feel about tattling. Snitches get stitches, bitches.”

“Would you speak to mom with that tongue?”

“I don’t know, are you my mom, _bitches_?” she bites back in Korean save for the expletive.

Doyoung sighs. “You’re too much sometimes, Yeri.” He says goodbye and she says “see ya” before he walks away to catch up with Johnny and Ten, who are waiting for him in the Explorer.

Yeri checks her phone. 6 PM, still no response from Mark.

She walks in and notices Sicheng, Jihyo, Chenle, and Jisung at a table on the far side of the diner. Jisung and Jihyo are Joy’s siblings, and Sicheng is one of Lucas and Renjun’s friends, so she waves a hi towards them. Again, pleasantries exchanged, just to be polite. It’s a bit of an unlikely dinner combination – she wasn’t even aware they all knew one another. She makes a mental note to ask Joy about it next time she sees her, maybe Jihyo wanted to get lunch with Jisung’s friends. She walks to Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin’s table and sits down next to Renjun, ordering a fish and chips plus a strawberry-banana smoothie. 

Their conversation goes as normal, flowing and ebbing about everyone’s summer shenanigans, the latest gossip about classmates, new episodes of TV shows they’re watching, and this indie artist that Renjun discovered. Typical high school conversations. After awhile they’re all full and satisfied, and they hit a lull in the conversation. 

Yeri notices how Jeno’s mind seems elsewhere the entire time. Usually Jeno’s not the most talkative during their conversations, but today Yeri notices that Jeno seems super withdrawn into his own mind.

Jaemin rubs Jeno’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Jeno,” he says as he tries soothing the tension in Jeno’s body. “I’m sure Mark is fine. He was probably dumb and forgot to charge his phone or something. Or he’s sleeping over somewhere at a friend’s house. Or hanging out with someone and just forgot to mention it to you guys.”

“I don’t know, Jaemin,” Jeno says worriedly. “This isn’t like him. Mark at least usually calls or texts by now. It’s been almost two full days now, and still nothing. I don’t know where he went or why he’s not responding.”

“Don’t worry, Jeno,” Yeri says, although she doesn’t know if she’s saying it for him, for her, or for the both of them. “Mark will call sometime soon. It’s no big deal.”

Jungwoo comes up to them, the waiter's apron around his waist stained with some grease and ketchup. “Hey, do you guys need anything else?” he asks, perky smile on his face. “Milkshakes again? It’d be my treat.”

That warms Yeri’s heart a bit. “Aw, thanks, Jungwoo, but I think we’re all good.” She looks at everyone else and no one seems inclined for milkshakes. “How’s Dahyun?”

“Dahyun’s alright, she’s really looking forward to working the soundboard for ‘Mary Poppins’ at the theatre this summer.”

“Nice! Are you and Lucas gonna help out with it?”

”Honestly, not sure yet, I haven’t seen him this week yet,” Jungwoo tells her. “I think he’s still tired from the beach day you guys had with him. Plus, you know, Johnny and Yuta’s party. Sounded like he had a fun day though.”

Yeri smiles. “Wish you could’ve come with us to the beach!”

Jungwoo only offers a shrug. “I wish, but I have work. Although sometimes I wish I could ditch to hang out with you guys. I’m sure if I asked Kyungsoo nicely enough, he would let me.” He sighs. “A day off would be really nice, not gonna lie.”

“Next time?” Yeri offers.

“If next time isn’t when I’m working, sure,” Jungwoo grins as he finishes taking the plates off their table and takes them back to the kitchen.

Yeri thinks it would make Lucas happy (and maybe less rowdy) if Jungwoo comes with them the next time they all go to the beach.

All their phones buzz suddenly at the same time. 

“Did someone text something in the group chat?” Renjun asks.

“No, why?” Jeno asks.

“Then why did all our phones go off at the same time?” Renjun says.

It’s a bad feeling settling in her stomach. Yeri tries to shake it off. Maybe it’s the smoothie. But something about this seems wrong. After an awkward fifteen second pause, Renjun breaks the silence. “Should we check?”

“Oh god, what if it’s an AMBER Alert for Mark,” Jeno says nervously. “What if he’s actually missing or something happened to him–”

“It’s not, our phones would be making that noise if it was, and so would everyone else’s in the diner,” Jaemin replies. “But it’s just us that got something all at once. It’s probably a message in the group chat probably got sent twice on accident or something.”

They all pull out their phones to see what notification they got.

On each of their phones, there is one message received. It’s from an unidentifiable number. The message is the same for all four of them.

  
**Unknown Number :** _It’s a cruel summer with you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eventually, Jeno and Yeri find out who has seen Mark much, much later.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues) | [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)
> 
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	2. Caught the Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It kept Jeno up at night. He kept having recurring nightmares about it. Each time he’d woken up in a cold sweat, tears running down his eyes.

“Hey, Jeno,” Jihyo calls for him, “can you make some copies of these forms? Sunny needs to mail them out to some clients.” 

“On it, Jihyo!” he replies enthusiastically. He takes the form from her and heads downstairs to the copy machine room.

If he’s being honest, Jeno never imagined that he’d have the chance to work at an architectural firm. He was surprised they even let a high school student intern in the office at all. But Sunmi, being the good older sister she is, had used her connections to get him a summer internship at Leeward and Seaside, one of the largest architectural firms in Santa Cruz.

It is typical intern work – making copies, getting coffee, refilling printers with ink and paper, filing paperwork, doing data entry. But being in an office full of architects makes Jeno excited every time. He knows that one day it might be him sustainably designing beachfront homes, or kid-friendly parks, or cozy apartment complexes. Even if he’s just an intern, every day at Leeward and Seaside feels like a taste of life after high school. He’s only interacted with Seohyun once, when she asked him for his opinion on the wording of a brief for a client, but he cherished that moment and it makes him happy every time he remembers it.

Of course, some parts are less than ideal. The internship could be fairly boring, and sometimes he wondered if he should be doing something more fun with his summer, like tutoring kids or being a camp counselor. But he knows it’ll be worth it, and he got the internship because of Sunmi’s connections, so he feels content and grateful with his position. 

It also isn’t super close to home, and the commute from Journey is inconvenient, but thankfully Yeri is willing to drive him whenever Taeyong needs the car. He likes to think Mark would have gotten his license, and Mark and Yeri would drop him off together, and then they’d go hang out at the pier or the beach while he interned, and then they would all hang out afterwards doing something fun in Santa Cruz.

Mark.

Even though he wishes he could stop thinking about Mark, he can’t. 

He’d only been missing for three days before his parents went to the police. 

He’d only been missing for five days before the police officially designated it a missing person's investigation. 

But it’s been almost a year since Mark had gone missing without any explanation, and the police still have no clues or solid leads.

It keeps Jeno up at night. He has recurring nightmares about it, of Mark dying, or drowning, or something terrible happening to Mark. Each time he wakes up in a cold sweat, tears welling in his eyes. He worries about where Mark went that night, how he disappeared, why he still hasn’t been found. 

And it sucks because even though Donghyuck, Jaemin, Renjun, and Yeri could all sympathize to some degree, they would never understand how painful it feels. Yes, Mark may have been their best friend, but Mark is more than that to him. He’s Jeno’s older brother, hopefully still is, if they ever find out what happened to him.

It hurts more than they would understand. They don’t have to go back home every night to a changed family, wake up each morning to Mark’s empty bed. Home has been empty of Mark every day for nearly the past year, without fail.

And to make matters worse, there’s the text.

_It’s a cruel summer with you._

The six words haunt him. Even a year later, they still linger with an unsettling weight on Jeno’s mind. During that week of summer last year, the four of them had debated about what to do with the text. In the end, they decided to just ignore it – it could’ve very well just been a text sent by the wrong number, and they were freaking out over something that wasn’t a big deal, just a coincidence. 

And they never got a text like that again. It was just a coincidence, probably a random number. They all agreed to delete the message from each of their phones so that they’d stop obsessing over it.

Except Jeno is certain that it wasn’t a coincidence.

There’s no way in hell it was. It was just a weird message from an unknown number sent to all four of them at the same time, when they were all together? That never happens, only happened in movies or TV shows, where someone is murdered or there’s a murderer, and Jeno refuses to believe that. He refuses to believe that Mark is dead or worse, murdered or kidnapped by someone. He has to come back home. There’s no way Mark is gone.

He’s not dead. He’ll come back home. He has to. 

Jeno doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t.

He sighs as the copies finish printing and he heads back to the upstairs office. As he passes through the main lobby, he spots a girl standing near the front desk, staring at the rural landscape above, eyes fixated on the green pastures in the painting. The secretary that would normally greet her is on her lunch break. Jeno figures he should greet the girl, since he thinks it would be impolite to walk past her without saying anything.

“Hello,” Jeno says. “Are you here for a consultation or meeting with someone?”

She turns to face him. He notices her bangs that frame her eyes, brushed messily in her face. And that she is very, very pretty. Like she’s walked out of a movie. Jeno thinks she looks like a fairy. 

“Actually, I was here to see Seohyun but it seems she’s not here,” the girl tells him, her hand brushing her hair behind her left ear. “Do you know if she came in today?” 

She’s so pretty that Jeno finds it disarming. He forces himself to snap out of it to answer her question. After all, it’s impolite to stare.

“Yes, but she’s out currently treating the security contractors to lunch.” Today, Sunny had mentioned that the security system providers were coming in to fix the building’s cameras, as they were having some issues with them shorting out. “I can tell her someone came by to see her when she comes back, should I give her your name?”

A playful smile forms on the girl’s lips. “Just tell her there’s a gift in the office,” she says coyly, her sharp, dewy eyes piercing straight at him.

Jeno doesn’t think much of it, just averts her gaze because it’s very, very powerful. “Alright, I’ll tell her there was a gift left for her by a mysterious woman,” Jeno jokes, and the girl laughs like light spilling through window panes.

“Thank you very much,” she replies warmly, exiting through the front door.

He takes the elevator back up to the second floor and walks towards Jihyo’s desk. Jeno likes that he knows someone else at the firm who also went to Journey Pines High School. He doesn’t know why Jihyo works here as an office assistant, since Jisung told him that his older sister has dreams of being a jazz singer. But maybe the difference is that Jihyo gets paid to work here and Jeno does not, and it’s definitely a good way to earn some money before she leaves for college after summer’s over. 

“Thanks Jeno,” she says as he hands her the copies. “Oh, by the way, there’s a gift for you from someone.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, someone left a gift or something here from your sister. Sunmi, right? Thought it was for Seohyun at first, but then Sunny mentioned your name.”

Jeno’s a bit confused by that.

“I’m sorry? I think I ran into the girl who gave it to Sunny downstairs, she told me that she came to give something to Seohyun,” he says.

“Hmm? No, maybe I heard wrong, but she specifically said it was for you, from Sunmi,” Jihyo glances up at him. “She said she was a friend of Sunmi’s and Seohyun’s though. Your sister talked to Seohyun to get you your internship here, right?”

He nods his head. “Huh, weird. When I ran into her downstairs in the lobby, she said she had a gift for Seohyun.”

Jihyo ponders this for a moment. “I dunno. Maybe I heard her wrong. Or maybe she just didn’t want you to know that Sunmi got something for you,” Jihyo says. “Maybe Sunmi just had one of her friends drop something off for her because they were in town. I’ve heard your sister’s pretty eccentric.”

That was a rational explanation, Jeno thinks. Sunmi knows he doesn’t want to be bothered at the office, and he doesn’t like it when she fawns over him, especially in public. And Jihyo is correct, his older sister is _very_ eccentric – her reputation precedes her. It’s embarrassing, sometimes. He goes back to check the office mailboxes.

It’s not a gift, but rather a card-sized pink envelope. Jeno decides against opening it now, and chooses to wait until after work, when Yeri picks him up from the office. He doesn’t want to read whatever embarrassing, fluffy note it is that Sunmi left him. She can be so dramatic sometimes, Jeno thinks. Can’t she just send him a gushy longform text like a regular older sister would?

Then again, telling Sunmi to be “regular” would offend her.

He leaves the letter unopened and eats the lunch Taeyong packed him.

***

“Hey, what’s up?” Yeri says as they get on the highway to head back to Journey, her newly dyed blonde hair blowing in the wind that whips in from the windows, ‘The Message” by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five playing in the car. Jeno knows the song – Mark said it was one of the more important songs in hip-hop, and he had wanted to try making a rap hip-hop mixtape before he’d gone missing. “Is everything okay? You’ve been kinda quiet since I picked you up.”

“What? Oh, yeah, it’s just – I’ve been waiting to open up this note from Sunmi,” Jeno replies. “I got it today when one of her friends or something dropped it off to the office and put it in my box at work.”

“Wow, you have your own office mailbox now? Guess you’re moving up, _intern_ ,” Yeri teases. Jeno grins back at her bashfully. 

“I mean, I guess,” he replies. “Maybe they’ll offer me a real job next summer.” That would be a dream come true.

“Sunmi’s always really proud of you. You shouldn’t be embarrassed, be lucky your big sister loves you so much and is happy you got the internship. You know, good big sister vibes and all. You're gonna open it, right?” Yeri says.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Maybe she’s also trying to cheer you up, because...you know…”

Yeri trails off and leaves that sentence unfinished.

Jeno knows what she was going to say. That it’ll be one year soon, since Mark had gone missing last summer. And while he doesn’t want to think about it either, maybe Yeri is right. He feels bad about being so down about it – Sunmi is confident Mark will be found, or he’ll show up, and Jeno wants to believe that too. Maybe the card is Sunmi trying to cheer him up, since she knows he’s not taking it well.

“Yeah, I was waiting until I got off work to open it.”

“Well, you should open it now! You’re off work, dude, this is me driving you home now,” Yeri laughs brightly, blonde hair beaming in the afternoon sunlight. “You could definitely use a pick-me-up.”

He takes the envelope out of his backpack and opens it up. 

It’s not a card, like Jeno was expecting. Instead, it’s a postcard. It’s of Los Angeles, from the time his family went down to LA last summer for a weekend. He remembers it fondly – Mark getting lost in Koreatown, Taeyong dropping his phone in the ocean, Sunmi yelling at their parents in Disneyland to stop embarrassing them by taking photos everywhere, the family dinner they all had in Santa Monica. Jeno smiles at the memories, recalling each one. It was sort of cheesy and sentimental of Sunmi to send a postcard from then, but he appreciates the gesture. He’ll call her later and tell her thank you.

He turns it over to read what Sunmi has written him. 

His blood runs cold.

He’s not calling her later.

“Jeno? You okay there?” Yeri says.

His mind is spinning.

“What, did Sunmi write something to get you all choked up?” she tries joking.

This isn’t real.

“Jeno? It’s been like a hot minute since you’ve said something.”

This can’t be real. This can’t be real.

“Jeno?” Yeri says.

It’s not real.

“Shit, Jeno Lee, please say something, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Mark.”

“What?!” she almost shouts.

It-it’s his, it’s his handwriting in this card, Yeri. It’s something he wrote.”

Yeri pulls over immediately on the side of the road, turning off the engine.

There’s a date at the top. June 14th, one year ago. That’s when this postcard was sent. It’s the same date as today, June 14th now. 

It shouldn’t mean anything. But it does. Because a year ago on June 14th, Jeno and his family had gotten back from Los Angeles. That, and June 14th is exactly one week before Mark went missing a year ago, the night of June 21st.

His heart is pounding in his chest as he rereads the words. The address is scratched out, thin layers of paper all torn and rough. But it’s unmistakable – the messy script, the way the _L’s_ are looped, the _n’s_ that look like _r’s_. It’s Mark’s handwriting.

_Hey Irene,_

_I know I haven’t been that great. Bad boy, right? That’s what you called me, last time we met._

_Sorry for all the trouble, but I really am thankful for everything. Promise I’ll make it up to you. Because I finally figured everything out. I’ll see you soon._

_Don’t worry too much about me. I think I know how this all ends._

_\- Mark_

“Holy shit,” Yeri says, as she reads the note again. “Holy shit, _holy shit_ Jeno, who gave this to you? Who the hell is Irene?”

His mind is racing. There’s no way Sunmi gave this to him. 

It was the girl. 

“Jeno?”

At the office today. With the bangs. Who is she? Why did she have this? Why did she give this to Jeno? Who is she? Why was he given it now? Who was she? Was she the Irene that Mark wrote to on the postcard? Who is she?

_I think I know how this all ends._

“I, I don’t know,” Jeno manages to say. “It, I, I...someone gave it to me.”

“Who?” Yeri asks.

“I don’t know, I think, I–it-it was a girl, I think...I...I didn’t get her name.”

“What?”

“She said she was visiting Seohyun at the office today but...I think...I think she was visiting to give this to me.”

“Shit.” 

Quiet. Too quiet. A car passes by them on the highway.

“Shit. Shit, was that Irene? The girl who you saw in the office, was that her?” she asks.

“I...I don’t know,” he says. “I didn’t get her name.”

“Do you know who Irene is?”

Jeno shakes his head. “I’ve never heard of anyone named Irene. Mark never mentioned he knew anyone named Irene.”

“Shit, Jeno. Fuck, this is...what the fuck is this?”

Yeri and Jeno’s phones both go off. 

The timing of it is too uncanny.

Jeno hears his own heart beating in his chest. Everything is happening at a glacial pace and yet it’s all crashing down on him instantly, a massive avalanche falling and suffocating him, sealing his fate. It’s so cold and he’s not sure what to do, suddenly hyper aware of every action he takes. The sinking feeling in his chest, the chills sent up his spine, the painfully large knot in his throat. Everything feels unreal and yet it’s happening all at once in slow motion.

Jeno and Yeri check their phones. 

They each have a text from an unidentifiable number. It is the same for both of them.

**Unknown Number :** _Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes._

* * *

“Mark?” Yeri said to him as he opened the passenger door to exit the car.

“Yeah?”

She looked at him, concern filled in her eyes. “Don’t do anything you’re going to regret.”

Mark didn’t know what Yeri actually meant behind those words, so the best he could do was form a small smile. “I won’t,” he told her. “Promise.” He even raised his pinky finger to show her he meant it. 

Even if it wasn't true.

He felt bad, lying to her. Pretending like that was the truth when it wasn’t.

She smiled back. “I missed you.”

It hurt Mark, to pretend this was okay and that it didn’t hurt. It really did. What if this was the last time he saw her? Regret started to rise up in his chest. He didn’t want this to be the first and last time he saw Yeri this summer. “Missed you too.”

“See you in two days at the coffee shop?”

She probably wouldn’t.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” he called back as she pulled out of the driveway, watching her wave back as she drove away.

He opened the front door and walked inside. No one was home yet. Mom and dad were out with family friends for dinner, they said they’d be back home by 10 PM. Mom had texted him, asking if he wanted anything to-go from the restaurant. Taeyong was probably hanging out with some USB people before Yuta and Johnny’s party. Jeno was watching a movie with Jaemin, Donghyuck and Renjun. And Sunmi was driving back to Journey from San Francisco tomorrow to visit them for a few days.

Mark knew he didn’t have much time. Jeno’s movie was probably going to end in the next twenty minutes, and if he didn’t go to the USB party, he’d be back home soon. If Mark was going to do this, he had to do it now. He knew that. He’d known that for a long time now.

With a deep breath, he pondered if he should go over to see him one last time, if he should just do it, and get it over with. Or if he should just live with the regret of not knowing, because he was too scared to do so.

He shouldn’t have promised Yeri he wasn’t going to do something he would regret. Because that probably was a promise he wouldn’t keep by the time the night was over.

And Mark didn’t like to break his promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for Yeri and Jeno to hit the books with Renjun and Jaemin!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)  
> 
> 
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	3. Know More Yielding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin doesn’t know why, but it sounds familiar.

Sterile, Jaemin thinks. That’s the first word that comes to mind, seeing the library lighting. It’s a harsh, incandescent light that’s fixed to the ceiling of the library study room as it shines on the table. Less like a library, it reminds Jaemin more of a hospital room. It’s not very friendly, not quite as bleak, but it still methodically illuminates the room in a begrudging, procedural manner. There’s no warmth to it.

After he got a text from Yeri that the four of them needed to meet up, Jaemin got his Dad to pick him up from the beach after he finished surfing that morning. After he’d gotten home and changed, Jaemin had told Dad to drop him off at the library, because they were meeting up under the pretense of starting their summer assignments, much to his Dad’s delight. He had opened the study room’s door to see Renjun, Yeri and Jeno waiting for him.

“What’s up, guys? Ready to crack open the textbooks?” Jaemin says as he sets his backpack down on the chair. But he already knows this isn't going to be one of their regular study sessions. That’s a given, since it’s the start of summer and no one’s going to be studying, but still, an uneasy air lingers in the room uncomfortably.

“These rooms are soundproof, right?” Jeno quips quickly.

Renjun sighs. “Even if they weren’t, there’s no one in the rooms next door to us. It’s fine, Jeno. No one’s using the library study rooms right now. It’s June, summer just started. Who in their right mind would be studying today?”

This doesn’t seem to abate Jeno’s fears, but he nods in agreement.

“So, what’s up? Why’d you ask me and Renjun to meet you and Jen here?” Jaemin asks. “I’m guessing it’s not about our summer assignments for APUSH.”

Yeri and Jeno look at each other, and then Jeno pulls out a small pink envelope from his backpack. “You wanted to show us...a card?” Renjun glances at it. “What’s this about?”

“Open the envelope,” Yeri says.

Puzzled, Jaemin seats himself next to Renjun as he opens the envelope and pulls out a postcard with the words “Greetings from Los Angeles” written on the front. Jaemin vaguely remembers receiving a similar one in the mail from Jeno about a year ago, when he went to Los Angeles with his family, and Jeno showing him the pictures he had taken at Disneyland. Rejun turns the postcard around, and then they see writing on the other side. 

Their quiet is no longer unconcerned.

Renjun turns it back over so “Greetings from Los Angeles” faces up. Then they both look up at Yeri and Jeno at the same time. It is Renjun who first speaks.

“Where did you get this?” he asks.

“Jeno got it in his mailbox at work, two days ago, but he doesn’t know who gave it to him,” Yeri responds. “There was this girl who apparently came into the office looking for his boss. But the card was left for him in his office mailbox.”

“Are you sure this is real?”

“Positive,” Jeno says. “I know Mark’s handwriting from anywhere. It’s definitely something he wrote. And it’s...I think I remember him picking it out, when we were at the souvenir shop down in LA.”

“Did he say who he was buying it for?” Jaemin asks.

“He told me it was for Donghyuck but now...now I don’t know,” Jeno replies. “It was for Irene, whoever that is...I don’t even know who that is.”

“Do you think...do you think this Irene person has something to do with Mark’s disappearance?” Renjun asks him. “This girl you saw at your internship, was that Irene?”

A frustrated expression furrows on Jeno’s face. “I don’t know,” he sighs. “I don’t even know who Irene is. I thought Mark trusted me, but he never mentioned knowing someone named Irene. Even when he kept stuff from Taeyong and Sunmi, he would still tell me. But he never told me about knowing someone named Irene.” 

“So then we need to figure it out. Who is Irene? The girl at your office who left this in your mailbox?” Jaemin asks, breaking his silence. “Do you think anyone in town might know who that girl is? Did Jihyo recognize her?”

“I don’t think Jihyo did. She kind of looked similar to Jihyo’s age,” Jeno recalls. “But I don’t know, I’m trying to remember what she looked like but...I just can’t remember. It was such a brief moment. She could’ve been older, younger. I don’t know.”

“Do you think maybe Doyoung might know her? Or Jennie? Maybe Taeyong?” Jaemin asks.

Yeri shakes her head. “We both tried asking them last night but they said they’ve never heard of anyone named Irene. I don’t think she’s from around here.”

“Do you think she might have done–”

Renjun gives Jaemin a nudge. Right, Jaemin remembers. They’re not supposed to refer to Mark’s missing status as that of also deceased and or murdered. Not in front of Jeno. No one wants to say it out loud, that Mark might possibly be dead. Or worse, murdered. 

But why else would he be missing for this long? 

Jaemin shoves that thought aside.

“I don’t know,” Jeno says. “There’s not a lot to go off of.”

“What should we do? Should we go to the police?”

“And tell them what?” Renjun says skeptically. “That we somehow found a postcard Mark wrote to someone named Irene? A year later after it was sent? How would we even explain how you got this? Do you really think the police are going to believe four teenagers who say that you got it from some mysterious girl that vanished into thin air?”

“But we could say we got it from her,” Jeno says. “Sunny was there yesterday, she can back up my statement. She’s a witness.”

“Jeno, you don’t even know that girl’s name, let alone remember what she looks like. And I’m guessing you haven’t asked for security footage, right? It would just be your word.” 

“No,” Jeno admits. “I don’t even think I can ask for that. I’m only an intern. And...I don’t even know if the security cameras even got her. When she came in yesterday, that happened to be when the security cameras were down and the firm hired people to fix them. The timing is suspiciously coincidental.” 

Renjun nods in agreement. “So then we should try figuring out who that girl is and how to find her. And figure out how she’s involved with Mark, and if she and Irene are one in the same.”

“There’s something else,” Yeri adds, voice lowering. “You and Jaemin didn’t get any texts yesterday, did you?”

Jaemin senses Renjun’s body tensing with apprehension. They both know what Yeri is really asking, and Jaemin doesn’t like where this is going. He still remembers the moment all four of them got that text in the diner, almost a year ago, two days after Mark had gone missing. They had all hoped that deleting it meant the text was just a random mistake, that it would never happen again.

But maybe they shouldn’t have. After all, Jaemin knows that deleting things doesn’t mean those things go away. And he might have to live with that regret for the rest of his life.

“No, we didn’t. Why? Did you...did it happen again?”

They take their silence as an answer.

“But it’s been a year, did you really?” Renjun says incredulously.

“We both did. It said ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ That’s all there was to it.” They both show them the message on their phones.

**Unknown Number :** _Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes._

“Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes,” Renjun repeats, as if trying to glean some information out of the words. “What do you think it means?”

Jaemin doesn’t know why, but it sounds familiar.

“No idea,” Yeri answers. “There’s no way to know what it means. I don’t even know, there’s a mystery person texting us, the mystery girl that visited Jeno, and then there’s Irene. Do you think it’s all the same person?”

“We don’t know,” Renjun replies. “There’s no way for us to know. But for now, Occam’s razor. Let’s just assume the anonymous texter, the mystery girl, and Irene are all the same person.”

 _Devils roll the dice_ , Jaemin thinks. Why does that sound so familiar? 

“Okay, so all we have to do is find Irene, and we can figure out what happened to Mark, right? And we’ll finally find him? And he comes home?” Jeno asks, a bit too hopefully.

To Jaemin, this sounds too simple. The mystery note girl, the person sending them texts, and then Irene, whoever she was. They couldn’t all be the same person. It doesn’t make sense. 

“It’s not that simple, Jeno,” Renjun voices what they’re all thinking. “If this girl, Irene or whoever she is, is involved with Mark and whatever did happen to him, there’s no way she would just give this to you. People who do bad things usually don’t want to be caught in the act of doing them. Especially if nothing’s been found after a year. Something’s up.”

“So maybe they’re not the same person?” Yeri says. “Maybe the person texting us and the girl Jeno saw are the same people, but Irene is someone else.” 

Renjun shakes his head. “But even if they were, how would she have all our numbers? We don't even know her. And how would she have known when we were all together? It can’t just be some random person. This has to be someone we know.” 

Jaemin still sits quietly, but his brain is racking something together. It’s frustrating, he’s on the verge of making a conclusion but the answer escapes him. What is it? Why does the devils rolling dice sound so familiar? What about the devils still eludes him? He’s so close to connecting the dots but it feels so frustratingly far out of his reach.

“Do you think it was one of Mark’s friends?” Jeno asks.

They all tense at the question. 

It’s not like they haven't considered that possibility. After all, Mark knew– _knows_ –a lot of people at Journey Pines High School.

Like Jeno, he and Renjun and Donghyuck are all a year younger than Mark and Yeri. Chenle and Jisung, in the grade below Jaemin, had started to hang out with them more too. And even though Mark had disappeared, they’re all still friends.

Mark, Yeri, Chaeyoung, Dejun, Lucas, Jungwoo, and Tzuyu were all really close after they had shared English and History classes together during their freshman year. They’d always hung out together since then. Jaemin knows that Lucas is also close with Kunhang, and they and Dejun are close to the people in Chinese club (Renjun is too). They’re both going to be seniors next year.

This year’s graduating seniors…were a wild class. It wasn’t a secret that they pulled some crazy antics last summer. While Jihyo hangs out with Mina and Jeongyeon, her stepsister Joy hangs out with the senior main friend group. She and the rest of the girls in her clique – Dahyun, Yerin, Hayoung, Jennie, Rose, Lisa, Momo, Sana – were known for their wild nights. The guys as well. 

Doyoung, Jaehyun, Kun, Ten, Sicheng. That was the main friend group of senior guys that hung out with the senior girls, besides the senior guys on the school’s “SEVENTEEN” dance team. Lucas, Jungwoo, Donghyuck, and Mark had hung out with them a lot too. Taeyong as well, before he graduated. They were called the U Group, because they acted united, like a unit. Jaemin knows Yeri is very familiar with the graduating seniors – after all, she is Doyoung and Jennie’s younger sister.

And then there was last year’s seniors, the class that Jeno and Mark’s older brother was in, who were also involved in said hijinks last summer. Besides Taeyong, there was also Nayeon, Taehyung, Jimin, Jisoo, Sehun, Wendy, Seulgi, Jongin, Johnny, and Yuta who all hung out together, all trying to make the most of last year’s summer before they headed off to college. Not everyone is back in town this summer (Jaemin knows that Wendy and Seulgi are in San Francisco, and he heard Sehun had been scouted by a modeling agency), but most of Taeyong’s class, including Taeyong himself, are around Journey for the summer.

As sophomore class president, Mark had a lot of senior and junior friends, especially in the U Group. Many of them happened to be on ASB Student Government too. ASB had been nicknamed “USB” since forever for a reason.

In any case, because Mark was involved in USB, he was constantly invited to hang out and party with them. And while Jaemin couldn’t really keep up with it all, he knows that Mark was friends with a lot of people, known by much more. Still, even with Mark being well-known at school, Jaemin isn’t sure if any of his classmates are capable of...well, any this. Or worse, _that_. 

Someone killing Mark is...something he can’t imagine anyone doing in their quaint town of Journey, California.

Then again, Jaemin knows well enough that you never actually know what people are truly capable of doing.

“Not sure if we can suspect any of Mark’s other friends, yet,” Renjun says. “Mark...he knew– _knows_ , I meant that he _knows_ a lot of people,” he rephrases carefully, changing the tense so Jeno doesn't get upset. “Yeah, our high school isn’t that big, but there’s still too many people to suspect, if we’re going to suspect all of USB.”

“That’s also a really big assumption, you guys,” Jaemin points out, “to think someone was capable of...doing anything that horrible to Mark that he’s...been gone for this long.”

There’s a pause at that, everyone tensing at the implied statement there.

“It wasn’t you guys, right?” Jeno asks him. “You’re both on USB now, after all.”

“That doesn’t even make sense, me and Yeri weren’t in USB last year. Don’t you think if we knew what happened to Mark, we would’ve told you?” 

Jaemin feels his chest tighten uncomfortably.

“We don’t even know where he was that night,” Renjun replies. “You were at home waiting for him after we saw the movie, Yeri dropped him off and drove back home, and Jaemin slept over at my place. That’s all that happened that night.”

Jaemin thinks Renjun knows something, because he realizes Renjun words the sentence a bit too carefully, as if there’s something left unsaid. But it’s true, Jaemin had slept over at Renjun’s house after the movie.

And maybe something more. But Jaemin will never talk about it because he doesn’t know how Renjun would react if he tells him. So it’ll just be his secret to keep.

“I know, I know, I’m just...I’m just checking, trying to figure this all out,” Jeno says, brows scrunched in stress. “I just don’t know who would have bad blood with Mark. He was really nice to everyone.” 

“Do you really know that though?” Renjun asks.

“Yes, I do!”

“But you didn’t know he was writing to someone named Irene,” Renjun points out. “Just because he was a nice person to you doesn’t mean he was like that with everyone.”

Jeno stares blankly at Renjun. It looks like he doesn’t know what to say to that and he slumps a bit in his chair. Jeno looks tired and defeated and it hurts Jaemin’s heart to see him look dejected like that, wishing he could do something to cheer Jeno up.

There’s a knock on the door. They all turn and see Joy, Jisung’s older sister, waving at them. Jaemin goes to open the door for her. “Hey Joy,” he says.

“Hey Jaemin,” Joy replies, the cheerful honeycombed ring to her voice never failing to spark some peppiness in all of them. Jaemin supposes that’s why she was the USB Spirit Director last year. “What are you guys doing at the library? It’s summer! Are you guys already starting your summer assignments for junior year?”

“We just wanted a change of location, that’s all,” Renjun says.

“Ah, I see.” She glances over at the Los Angeles postcard on the table. “What’s that?”

“Oh-oh, that, tha-this, this,” Jeno stutters, “It’s uh, well, uh-”

“Jeno got a note from his older sister yesterday during lunch,” Jaemin interrupts him, silently thankful for Renjun leaving it facedown. “He got it from Sunmi at lunch during work, she was just congratulating him on getting the internship and working hard, he was just showing it to us.” 

“Oh that’s right, you intern at the architecture firm that Jihyo works at too, right Jeno?” Joy grins. “I heard that you have a crush on my sister.”

“Wha-what, no, no!” Jeno squeaks a little too loudly. “I, uh, I just think Jihyo’s really nice and all, and that, I mean, and, uh, and-”

“Oh, you’re so adorable,” Joy coos. “It’s okay, Jeno, you can say you like her boobs. It’s not like I haven’t heard guys talk about her tits before.”

They all look a bit shocked, surprised Joy would say something crass about her own stepsister. “What?” she shrugs. “It’s true. I know ‘em when I see them. We live under the same roof, they’re kinda hard not to notice.” Again, they’re all a bit too scandalized to respond. Well, except Yeri, who just stifled laughter. She is closer to Joy, so Jaemin assumes she’s probably heard Joy talk this crassly before.

“Anyways,” Joy says, ignoring the awkward pause, “I’m here to meet up with Johnny – oh, and your brother too, Yeri – plus a couple others, we wanted to try using the library’s new projectors to watch a movie. But I thought I’d stop in and say hi, since I saw you all here!”

“Thanks Joy,” Yeri laughs. “Are we still on for dinner next week with Wendy and Seulgi?”

“Yeah, of course!” Joy beams. “Can’t wait to reunite with the four of us, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” 

“Definitely!” Yeri says.

“Alright, well, I’ll be in the room two doors down with them if you guys wanna join, feel free to stop by and say hi before you leave!” 

“Will do. Thanks for stopping by, Joy!” Renjun says politely as she leaves and closes the door behind her. Yeri shoots Jeno a look. “Jihyo, really? I didn’t think she was your type,” she says smugly.

Jaemin swears he sees Jeno’s face turn a slight shade of light pink. “She’s not, she’s not, I don’t know why Joy thinks I like her so much, we’re just friends.”

“Right,” Yeri smirks.

“Really. I don’t like her like that! It’s not like I asked her to prom or anything. Come on guys, everyone knows she’s dating Daniel Kang!”

Wait.

Suddenly everything connects and it all makes sense.

“That’s because none of us went to prom, idiot,” Renjun retorts. “Seriously, what a pathetic defense. That’s the best thing you could come up with to explain why you’re still blushing?”

It finally clicks in Jaemin’s mind. He’s come to the conclusion that had been eluding him, has finally caught it. The connections coalesce.

“Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.”

They all turn to Jaemin. “What about it?” Renjun asks.

“Yeri,” Jaemin begins briskly. “Joy’s pretty close with the U Group guys, right?” 

“Yeah, she’s been on USB since freshman year, why?”

“Remember last year's prom theme?”

“Well, no. None of us went,” Yeri points out. “It’s more of a junior, senior thing, remember? We were just freshmen and sophomores, Jaem. We all watched _10 Things I Hate About You_ at my place with Mark and Donghyuck instead, don’t you remember?”

"I think he might've fallen asleep while we were watching it?" Renjun recalls.

“Why are you asking about the prom theme from last year?” Jeno glances at him puzzledly. “None of us went, so why does that matter?” 

Jaemin sees the moment it clicks in Renjun’s brain when he connects the dots and looks back at Jaemin, wide eyes incredulous with realization. 

“Because the theme for last year’s prom was The Supernatural Casino,” Renjun says. “That text message you both got. That was the tagline for last year’s prom.”

Stiffened silence follows.

“What does last year’s prom tagline have to do with this?” Yeri asks apprehensively. 

«««

It was a particularly average Wednesday for late winter in Journey, California. The wind gusted about lazily, sometimes picking up but never in full swing. The trees had begun showing some growth of new leaves to cover up their barren winter branches. The sunlight was strong but not hot, bright but not burning, always threatening to disappear as rolling white clouds loomed above in the February sky.

Three minutes before his third period started and half the class was still empty, but some people had filed in and taken their seats. Jaemin walked towards his desk behind Mark, who was busy texting on his phone.

“Yo, Mark,” Jaemin greeted him as he sat down.

Mark looked up from his phone and turned around and smiled, charismatically as always. “Hey, Jaem! How’s it going?”

“Not gonna lie, this week blows, I have two tests tomorrow back to back, plus I have an English presentation for our book talks on Friday.”

“Damn, that sucks. Sounds like you’re a junior already,” Mark grinned back cheekily. “Although to be fair, that’s your fault for being so damn smart that you’re already in Algebra II Honors as a freshman.”

“Yeah well...I guess it’s better than being in the regular classes and bored out of my mind,” Jaemin pondered. “Also, everyone knows the honors and AP teachers are so much better.”

“Well, not always,” Mark said. “Mr. Kim is kind of a hardass in this class.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Jaemin nodded.

“Anyways, I get you,” Mark said. “I’m busy planning the prom with the rest of USB and it’s definitely stressful–”

“Prom?” Jaemin looked at Mark, confused. “But you’re not going to prom, I thought? Unless you found someone to ask,” Jaemin punched Mark’s arm playfully. “Dude, are you gonna ask Yeri? Or were you thinking of Mina Kang instead?”

“No, no, I’m not going,” Mark laughed as light as the morning Wednesday sky. “Me and Yeri are only sophomores, after all. I think we were just going to watch a movie about prom that night instead. A prom pregame, I guess you could call it?”

“I don’t think you pregame something if what you’re pregaming doesn’t happen for a year. Maybe call it prom prep? Prom planning?” Jaemin offered.

“Yeah, those both sound better,” Mark replied. “Anyways, I got picked for the Prom Committee with some other people for USB. I don’t know why but I guess Taeyong really wanted me to be on it? No idea why though, since I’m not going.”

“Ah,” Jaemin nodded his head in understanding. “Who else is on the Prom Committee?”

“Me, Yong, Joy, Doyoung, a couple of other people too, I think Yuta said he was going to join us today for the planning meeting? Can’t remember, we barely started it yesterday,” Mark said. “Oh! But they started coming up with a couple of themes. I think my favorite though, was Supernatural Casino.”

“Supernatural Casino?” Jaemin repeated.

“So it’s like, casino themed, but then they want to make the decorations with like, werewolves and witches and stuff,” Mark began to explain. “And we’d have board games or arcade games, since I don’t think they would actually approve of letting us gamble at a school event. But yesterday I came up with a really good tagline for it to put on the marketing for the posters if we chose that theme! I really like it.”

“What’s the tagline?”

“ _Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes_ ,” Mark grinned as he said it. “It’s good because like, card games and casinos are seen as sinful, right? So devils would play sinfully, while the angels would just roll their eyes in disappointment.”

“Uh...no, I don’t really get it? But it sounds really catchy, I’ll definitely give you that,” Jaemin replied. “It sounds interesting! Do you think USB will make that the final prom theme?”

“I’m not sure, but I know that Joy got really excited about it, because then she said that for the dress code, people could be assigned a ‘good character’ or a ‘bad character’ role at prom and there could be some other fun stuff or planning to go with it too?” Mark said. “She said it would kind of be similar to those murder mystery dinner shows, you know, like the ones in SF?”

“Oh, yeah, that sounds really cool!” Jaemin agreed. “Does the rest of USB like the idea?”

“I don’t know if the rest of USB is on board, since other people also had ideas for the prom theme, but so far me, Joy, Jaehyun, and Jisoo are all really into that idea.”

Then the bell rang, Mr. Kim stood up to begin collecting their homework, the classroom chatter died down, and their conversation ended there.

»»»

Jaemin finishes recounting this conversation to the three of them.

It was a brief, small-talk conversation, just about Mark’s USB shenanigans. And now Jaemin feels like he’ll have to start racking his brain over and over again, replay every conversation he’s ever had with Mark before he disappeared, unearth memories he’s forgotten or blocked out, to figure out where the hell Mark had gone.

“It was everyone on the Prom Committee,” Jaemin says quietly under the glow of the incandescent library light bulbs, “who came up with that theme, and USB approved it.”

The Prom Committee was made up of juniors and seniors at the time who had decided on the theme for prom that year. Who planned the decorations, location, food, music, everything.

And Joy was one of the people on the USB Prom Committee.

The entire U Group had been on the USB Prom Committee.

Every one of that year’s juniors and seniors in that social circle had all gone to prom together. And they’d all gone to the prom afterparty at Mark’s house after.

Suddenly, everyone who attended prom last year has become a suspect.

* * *

Mark took a deep breath. He regretted promising Yeri he wasn’t going to do anything he’d regret. _Ironic_ , that was the word for it, that he’d learned back in freshman year English class. After Mrs. Park had made him and Yeri partners for analyzing literary devices in the first act of _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ , he ended up learning what the word meant. Even more ironic, Mark thought. Because he told Yeri he wasn’t going to do anything he’d regret, and yet he’d already done something he regretted, and the irony was that he was realizing the irony of the entire situation whilst remembering that he learned about irony in the first class he and Yeri had shared since middle school P.E.

All the irony and regret was starting to make Mark’s brain hurt.

His phone buzzed. 

He knew what this would be about. 

His whole body tensed with trepidation, a stain of anxiety threatening to spread across his chest if he didn’t keep it in check. Well, better get this over with, he supposed. 

Mark took his phone out of his sweatshirt’s pocket and checked. It was a text message notification.

  
**Unknown Number :** _Simon says Mark decides where to finish what he started._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _End of Act I_  
>  Act II: begins in a parking lot. There’s much to talk about.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/your_penguinpal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/hugsy_penguin)  
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	4. No Bad Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only good place to talk would be in Yeri’s car.

**Act II**

_Bad, bad boy, shiny toy with a price, you know that I bought it_

Renjun decides that they can’t talk unless they’re in the car.

Joy, Jaehyun, Doyoung or someone else might eavesdrop or overhear their conversation. But when they’d left the library to go talk at Cat’s Corner instead, they had run into Jungwoo, Ten and Yuta. They panicked and didn’t stop to chat, deciding to tell Kun that they were going to take their drinks to go. Because suddenly, all of USB and their friends have become suspects.

And that’s how they all find themselves in a grocery store parking lot, sitting in the privacy of Yeri’s car as they discuss what Jaemin had figured out.

“But why would this mystery person text us a hint if they’re involved?” Yeri says. “Why does this mystery person text only me and Jeno about the devils and the angels? Why not all of us? Why even text us, when none of us went to last year’s prom in the first place? And why give us this clue a year after Mark has been missing?”

“This means that they’re not the same person,” Jaemin replies. “It could be that maybe the person texting us, the girl who gave Jeno the note, and Irene aren’t all the same person. Could be that Irene’s an alias for someone. Or a nickname.”

“But that doesn’t make sense if they’re all separate people,” Yeri argues. “It’s too much of a coincidence that Jeno got a postcard Mark wrote a year ago from a random girl yesterday. Then that postcard happens to be something Mark wrote before he went missing. And then me and Jeno get a cryptic text, almost a year later after the first one, that’s supposed to be some kind of clue about prom? That’s way too much of a coincidence.”

“But there’s also the possibility that this girl and Irene are two separate people, but they’re both connected to Mark somehow,” Renjun adds. “Maybe this mystery girl knows something about Irene and Mark’s relationship, whatever it was– _is_ , sorry, is, and knows what happened to Mark. And she’s sending us texts to help us figure out who Irene is.”

“But that still doesn’t make sense,” Jaemin counters. “Why would she give this information to us instead of going to the police with it? If she’s Mark’s friend – and we still don’t know if she is – why would she give this postcard to Jeno instead of the police? And why wouldn’t she just tell Jeno who Irene was in the first place? Unless she was Irene, and didn’t want to get involved.”

“Maybe she’s implicated,” Renjun understands where Jaemin is going with this. “Maybe Irene is the one who gave Jeno the postcard, and she might be implicated or she knows something but she can’t tell us. If the girl was Irene, then it makes more sense how she got the postcard, instead of her having somehow gotten it from Irene.”

“But even still,” Yeri says, “if the mystery girl is Irene, she can’t be this anonymous texter too. Because Jeno said he’s never seen that mystery girl anywhere at school.”

“Maybe Mark told this mystery girl about prom in passing, maybe when he encountered her at some point in time before he went missing,” Jaemin points out. “But still, that doesn’t make sense – how would she know about it if she wasn’t there? The mystery texter has to be someone connected to planning prom last year. How else would they have texted us a line that Mark came up with?”

“Well, we don’t know what Mark has told this girl, exactly,” Renjun sighs exasperatedly. “Guys, we can keep theorizing all we want but at the end of the day, we don’t know anything.”

“But we know that Mark knew someone named Irene, we know it’s somehow connected to prom, and we know that this mystery girl knows Mark, and that she either knows Irene, or is Irene,” Yeri argues. 

“But we don't actually know who the mystery girl is, who the person texting us is, and who Irene is. These are all just our own theories,” Renjun counters. “We can sit here and theorize all day, but we still won’t know anything about anyone. All we know is that somehow, whether this is all the same person or not, it’s all connected to Mark’s disappearance. And that has some kind of connection to last year’s prom theme.”

“Okay, so we know conclusively that Irene knew Mark, that we know.” Renjun sees Jaemin pull out his notebook from his backpack and make a list titled “Suspects.” He writes “Irene” in all caps and puts several underlines below her name.

“What about the mystery girl?” Yeri asks.

“We don’t know,” Renjun tells her. “We don’t know how she got that postcard, whether she’s Irene or someone else, or if she even knew Mark at all. For all we know, she could’ve just been a messenger for someone else. We don’t know if she’s the messenger for the anonymous texter, or Irene. Or both of them. Or all of them. We don’t know,” he huffs, half-heartedly smacking the seat headrest in frustration.

“But then why give us this postcard when we don’t even know who Irene is?” Jaemin asks, writing down “Mystery girl” in the notebook with a big question mark next to it.

“And that still doesn’t answer our question of whether mystery girl or Irene are the same person, and are the same person as the anonymous texter,” Renjun says. “I mean, they could all be the same person, but it seems unlikely. It’s just too...fishy, I don’t know. There’s something really, really weird about all of this.”

“And if either of them are implicated in Mark’s disappearance, then neither mystery girl nor Irene would be giving us clues trying to help us,” Jaemin adds. “Plus, since we don’t know an Irene or a mystery girl, she couldn’t have known the prom theme if she didn’t go to our school.”

“Wait, but what if she was someone’s date last year?” Yeri says. “You know...with one of the U Group guys.”

They all freeze at that. There’s an implication to that idea that they don’t want to address.

“But we wouldn’t know, for sure,” Renjun says. “None of us went to prom last year. And besides,” he adds, “you already asked Doyoung if he knew who Irene was and he said no. And he went to prom with everyone in U Group last year. So if he doesn’t know, then I doubt anyone else will know who this Irene person is either.”

“You’re assuming Doyoung wouldn’t lie to me,” Yeri replies forebodingly. “People lie all the time, Junnie. He could’ve lied about that, if he was...you know.”

Again, they all turn quiet at the implication.

“That’s also true,” Jaemin says as he writes “anonymous texter” in his notebook and makes an arrow to “mystery girl” with a question mark. “But for all we know, maybe she went to prom, just not with the people we know, or under a different name. We really don’t know.”

“But this could also be misleading,” Renjun brings up. “None of us even went to prom. If we’re supposed to believe Irene did something to Mark, why give us a hint about prom? And that still doesn’t make sense, because Mark didn’t even go to prom last year. Even if she was there, Mark wasn’t. Why give us a hint about prom when Mark never went?”

“And even still…” Yeri says reluctantly, “We don’t know if this anonymous texter wasn’t actually involved on the prom planning committee. It could have been anyone in U Group or one of our friends that caused Mark to disappear. Including Joy. Or our older siblings. Even my older siblings,” she finishes quietly.

“And maybe...maybe that’s why we’re the ones getting all this information,” Renjun states solemnly. “Because maybe we’re the only ones who were Mark’s friends that don’t know who’s involved with whoever or whatever caused him to disappear.”

There it is. The implication none of them wanted to address. That now everyone they trust, everyone who knew Mark is a suspect, regardless if they’re family or friends.

Renjun sighs. They’re running in circles here.

This isn’t exactly how Renjun had envisioned spending his summer. Instead of heading to the beach this summer and playing frisbee or splashing in the water, they’re heading a list of suspects from last summer – and only three, at best, because they have no idea where to start and none of them want to actually think of their family and friends as suspects. 

Instead of driving to the movies this summer to watch all the blockbusters, they’re driving to libraries and parking lots to figure out what might have happened last summer without getting caught. Instead of starting this summer having fun with his friends, he’s starting this summer with them wondering what the hell had happened to Mark the night he went missing last year.

Still, it’s not like they could give up. Mark was, _is_ one of their closest friends. Renjun has known the Lees since middle school. Deep down, he really cares about Mark, and especially about Jeno. And while all Renjun knows about mysteries and unexplained disappearances and sleuthing was from TV shows and movies he’d watched and books he’d read, he was determined to figure out what happened the night Mark Lee went missing.

“Maybe we should take a break,” Renjun breaks the silence. “I think we should just call it a day on this stuff. There’s not much else we can do, for now, until we get clues, or information, or something, I don’t know. Let’s just do normal things, instead of trying to solve a missing person case. I think dinner might be good.” 

Jaemin nods his head in agreement. “It is getting close to dinner time,” he notes. “Do you guys wanna get something to eat?” He’s trying to lighten the mood, and Renjun appreciates it. It’s something he’s always appreciated about Jaemin – even in the worst of times, Jaemin tries his best to cheer everyone up.

“I guess,” Yeri nods. “Jeno?”

Renjun turns to Jeno around the same time they do.

It pains Renjun, seeing Jeno like this. He’s been quiet the whole time, looking out the window or down at his feet instead of directly at them. Renjun doesn’t hate many things, but he absolutely hates how much Mark’s disappearance has affected Jeno. They’re only sixteen. It’s not fair that Jeno has to go through all of this.

Sixteen year olds are supposed to stress out about getting their license, or taking the SATs, or going to prom in the spring, or how hard their classes are going to be in junior year of high school. Not about their older brother who’d gone missing a year ago with no explanation, and who exactly was involved.

Out of all of them, Jeno has definitely been taking it the hardest. Ever since Mark’s disappearance, Jeno had changed. None of them had known what to do the first time they saw Jeno break down and cry, two weeks after Mark disappeared. They had never seen him cry before Mark disappeared. He was always the steadfast stoic one to comfort them when they broke down, so happy and optimistic, like a Samoyed, as Jaemin liked calling him.

But the past year had made him absolutely more miserable with each passing month, and Renjun wishes they could do something to make it all go away, to make Jeno feel purely happy again. Jeno has so much fear inside him, and they all feel it slowly consuming him, eating him up whole.

But he knows that to do that, they have to figure out what happened to Mark. Jeno needs closure, which is something Renjun can’t give him unless they figure this out.

All Renjun can do now is hope his support and comfort is enough.

“I dunno, I’m not really in the mood to eat,” Jeno says weakly.

“Jeno.”

He sees Jaemin flinch slightly at his tone. It’s the stern voice Renjun uses when it’s about to be a serious conversation, one that he only reserves for situations like this.

“I know you’re sad, and upset, and confused. Frankly, so are the rest of us. And it’s okay to feel that way. But you can’t keep letting yourself feel this way,” Renjun tells him. “You’ve been feeling this way for a year.”

It’s not harsh, it’s not unbending, it’s not mean-spirited in any way. He’s just trying to be honest for everyone’s sake.

“I know, I’m just...I’m sad, Injunnie,” Jeno replies halfheartedly.

“Dude, I know we say this all the time, but we’re always here for you, and we don’t want to keep seeing you beat yourself up,” Renjun says. “We know you’re doing your best to cope with this by yourself. We all are, with this weird, messed up situation we’re in. But this isn’t a game you can win.”

He pauses and decides to look Jeno directly in the eyes. Jeno’s staring back at him, eyes full of emotion, and Renjun is not sure which ones they are and if it’s okay to keep pulling at them, even more unsure because he’s scared that his words might hurt Jeno. But he does anyways, because it’s a point that needs to be made. He knows his words carry weight, so he chooses the next ones with care.

“You don't practice for this. You don’t win at this, whatever this is,” Renjun says. “It’s not a game. None of us practiced for this or trained for this to happen to us. We just have to take it one step at a time, and take breaks when we need them.” 

Jeno sighs. “I know that, Renjun. I know this isn’t a game.”

Renjun pauses to figure out how to phrase the next parts. 

“Then you should know that you’re not on your own,” Renjun continues. “We do this _together_. And you’re not doing yourself any good by beating yourself up over something you have no control over, and could have never prepared for. Please, just let us be your friends. We want to be there for you. You don’t have to be scared.”

Jeno averts his eyes for a moment and tries to return with a steely glaze, but the glassiness of his irises betrays him. Renjun refuses to budge. He is not going to keep letting Jeno drag himself down. He refuses to let it happen.

“I just feel lost and I hate it,” Jeno responds. “I don’t want to be the person dragging everyone down. I hate making you guys pity me. You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to be a burden just because I’m sad about Mark being gone.”

“But you’re not a burden,” Renjun says. 

Jeno looks back up at Renjun again, eyes wide with a comprehension that Renjun can’t fully comprehend himself.

“I know that. We all know how much you hate this. But you’re not a burden.”

Jeno turns to Jaemin, who can only offer a small smile, and then glances to Yeri, who looks Jeno straight in the eye before he averts her gaze, and then he turns to look at him.

“I know you feel lost, and it sucks. And I know it’s not how you want to feel. I know you want to keep looking for him,” Renjun says empathetically. “But that’s the thing – this _thing_ , it’s all our burden. He’s your brother, and he's our best friend. But you’re our best friend too. And it will never be a burden you put on us, because we all miss Mark. And that’s not your fault. That’s just how things are.”

Jeno stares at him, eyes unmoving, sitting still as Renjun continues to speak. Maybe it’s just stupid of him to hope for this, but Renjun thinks that maybe, just maybe after trying to for a year, he’s finally getting through to Jeno. 

“I-I know,” Jeno shivers. “I know, Injunnie.”

“Then you know that we all need a break. And so do you. _You_ need to give yourself a break,” Renjun emphasizes. “You’re not dragging us down. You’re not a burden. I know it’s scary, and stressful, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t be upset. Of course you’re upset, your brother’s been missing for a year. But you have to know when to just give yourself a break sometimes, okay? You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I...I know, okay? I know I’m not alone.”

“Then you should also know,” Renjun says, “that it’s true when I tell you need a break.”

“But–”

“When I told you to take a break after you overtrained for soccer season, you took a break. When I told you to take a break after you tried over-studying for the Psych AP test, you took a break. Please, Jen. Please, don’t make yourself suffer just because you don’t want us to see. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Jeno shakes his head. “It’s not. Nothing about this is okay.”

“But you’re being unfair to yourself for feeling guilty about Mark’s disappearance,” Renjun pleads. “Please remember you’re not alone in this. We’re here for you.”

“I know, I know...I just, it’s not your burden,” Jeno says.

“But it’s also not your burden alone. You’re allowed to give yourself a break. We’re here for you too, okay? Please know that.”

“I...I know,” Jeno repeats. “I know, Injunnie.”

“Then please, _please_ , please know that we’ll always be there for you,” Renjun tells him, tears welling up in his eyes. “You can trust us, Jeno.”

And before Jeno can move or turn away he just hugs Jeno tightly, and Yeri and Jaemin get out of the front seats, open the doors and come in through the back doors to hug him too. Renjun isn’t expecting it, but he hears sniffling and looks up as Jeno starts to cry too, but it’s okay. They told him that before too, that it’s okay to cry. There’s nothing embarrassing about it.

And he knows.

“We’re here for you,” Yeri whispers, rubbing Jeno’s back. “Don’t ever forget it. You’re never alone.”

They all sit there in one another’s embrace for a couple minutes. Jeno is cold, Renjun realizes. He’s very, very cold, and Renjun isn’t sure if Jeno’s shivering because he’s crying or because he’s so cold, but he hopes their hug is helping to warm him up.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Jaemin asks again after a bit, petting Jeno’s head with soft touches. “Doesn’t have to be sitting down if you don’t want to dine in. We can just get takeout and eat at my place, if you want.” 

“I...yeah, I want to eat something,” Jeno says, no longer crying, just letting the tears fall silently as he calms himself down, breath steadying. “I...I think sitting down would be nice, actually, maybe I just need to sit down somewhere and eat.” He starts wiping away his tears. “Get away from everything for a bit.”

“Is the diner still good?” Yeri asks. “Jungwoo will give us free milkshakes if we ask.”

Jeno shakes his head.

“Thai food?” Jaemin asks.

Jeno shakes his head.

An idea pops in Renjun’s mind. Maybe Jeno wants to go somewhere further.

“I know it’s far but...do you wanna go to Silver Pond? In San Jose? I know it’s one of your favorite places,” Renjun says. “If that’s okay with you, Yeri.”

“Yeah, of course,” Yeri replies. “I don’t mind driving.”

Jeno doesn’t shake his head.

“Only if you want to, Jeno,” Jaemin assures him, petting Jeno’s head softly as his hand massages around the crown of Jeno’s hair. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. It’s just a suggestion. It’s up to you.”

“I’m okay with driving, dude,” Yeri tells Jeno, a smile on her face. “Don’t worry about the gas.”

Jeno looks up at Renjun.

“Okay, let’s go,” he smiles sheepishly at him, wiping his eyes again, and maybe that’s the happiest Renjun has felt in a long, long time.

He swears, the minute they find Mark he’s going to scream at him for hours on end. He’s going to yell at Mark so much that he’ll remember it as one of the worst berations of his life, for causing Jeno and the rest of them this much emotional stress. For a year now.

He desperately hopes Mark is still alive if they can actually find him.

Maybe there’s one more place he can check.

* * *

**Unknown Number :** _Simon says Mark decides where to finish what he started._

Mark glanced over the words again. It’s simple enough, he thought to himself. He knew this was going to be how it ended. He had told Irene as much. 

_Bad, bad boy._ She had called him that.

If he was going to confront everything, then it had to be tonight. There was no going back. And no matter how it ended, he knew one thing and one thing only.

It was going to end. No matter the price he had to pay in the end, at least it would be that. In the end, an end was still _the_ end of this...cruelness.

So, he texted back.

  
 _Half past midnight. River Ravine. This ends tonight._ : **Mark**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeno gets cheered up after dinner. However, Yeri gets something else after dinner.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/your_penguinpal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/hugsy_penguin)  
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	5. Shiny Toy with a Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She thinks back to that night, the night she last saw him.
> 
>  _Don’t do anything you’re going to regret._ That’s all she asked.  
>  _I won’t. Promise._ That’s what he had told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The following chapter contains a depiction of vomiting.

After dinner at Silver Pond, Yeri drives them all back home in a much happier state, full from the delicious Chinese dishes they ate. Renjun had gotten them a discount because he knew the owner through a family connection, and they'd gotten some free dumplings on the house as well. For the first time in a while, it felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. ABBA’s “The Winner Takes It All” plays as they continue down the highway back to Journey, the stars a faint speckle in the night sky and the glow of the sunset tinged on faded parts of the horizon.

Jeno and Jaemin chat contentedly in the back. Renjun is engrossed in a news article on his phone. So Yeri focuses on the road back to Journey, swimming in her own thoughts. 

She thinks about how the four of them seem like the only ones trying to figure out what had happened to Mark. About who’s texting them, and why them and no one else, as far as they know. How this all connected back to Mark going missing that night. That warm, splendidly perfect night. Yeri knew it was too perfect to last all summer.

A cruel summer. That’s what Mark had called it when they were driving back to Journey.

Sometimes she wonders if it’s stupid that they feel so invested in this, if this is just them being stupid, because if the police can’t figure out what happened to Mark, how can they? 

But she also knows that missing person cases are something that could end up going unsolved by the police. It’s already been a year. Leads would go nowhere, trails would become stale, and eventually the case would turn cold. And they’re all determined to not let that happen to Mark. 

She thinks back to that night, the night she last saw him. What she thought was the movie-star ending to a perfect summer day, not the beginning of an ominous search for answers. Answers for what happened to Mark that night.

 _Don’t do anything you’re going to regret._ That’s all she asked.

 _I won’t. Promise._ That’s what he had told her.

In retrospect, she could tell he was lying about something at the time, but Yeri didn’t think it was something bad. Now she wished Mark hadn’t made a promise he wouldn’t keep.

“Hey, Yeri, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor again?” Jaemin asks her from the backseat.

She snaps out of her thoughts. “Uh, grape? I don’t know, I don’t really have a favorite,” she glances back towards Jaemin and Jeno.

Jeno makes a face. “Is grape flavored ice cream even a thing?”

“I don’t know, it just sorta popped into my mind.”

“I don’t think it’s a real thing,” Jaemin says.

“Oh come on, they make ice cream for everything now,” Yeri replies. “There most definitely is a grape-flavored ice cream, even if we’ve never tried it. It probably exists in some trendy artisan ice cream shop somewhere in San Francisco or something.”

“Nah, I feel like grapes would taste bad frozen as ice cream,” Jaemin says. “Plus like, grapes are used for wine, why use them for ice cream?”

“I mean, that’s like asking why you like eight shots of espresso in your Americano,” Yeri snarks back. “I don’t question your lack of actual taste buds. I just accept it as fact.”

Jaemin gasps. “Kim Yerim, you take that back!”

“No, because your favorite drink is absolutely _disgusting_ , Jaemin,” she says with a smirk.

“Take it back or I’ll tell Doyoung you made Jeno cry today!”

“What– hey, that’s not fair!” Yeri says. “I didn’t do anything to make him cry.”

“So? He still cried and you were there!”

“Snitches get _stitches_ , bitches.”

Jeno shrugs. “Not my fault your brother likes me more than he likes his own little sister.”

“That is _not_ true,” Yeri says, “he secretly likes me, he just _loves_ you and I have no idea why, it’s so gross. Does Taeyong even love you as much as Doyoung does?”

“It’s because out of all your friends Jeno’s the most boring and polite one,” Renjun remarks, typing away on his phone. “And you know Doyoung lives for boring and polite things.”

“Hey!” Jeno says defensively like a hurt puppy. “I am _not_ boring! And it’s a good thing to be polite to people, in general.”

“Oh come on, Jeno, we’ve been over this so many times,” Jaemin turns the direction of the conversation quickly. “You really are boring.”

“I am not!” Jeno whines.

“You’re only fun half the time when you’re around your best friends, otherwise it’s like talking to a rock,” Jaemin complains. “Sometimes I wonder if I would have more interesting conversations talking to a brick wall. At least it would actually be interested in my life.”

Jeno makes a half-pouty, half-angry face. “Some best friends you all are, calling me boring,” Jeno grumbles to himself.

“Hey, come on, every friend group needs the boring, polite, vanilla friend,” Jaemin snickers. “You just happen to be that type.”

“I am not!” Jeno says.

“Yeah, you actually are, though. You add variety,” Yeri agrees. “Otherwise we would all just be assholes to each other. We need your boring vanilla ass to mellow things out, otherwise me and Jaemin would’ve killed each other by now.”

“I am _not_ boring!”

“It’s a thing,” Renjun interrupts.

“What?”

Yeri steals a glance at Renjun’s phone and sees a Wikipedia page pulled up.

“It’s a thing, grape ice cream,” Renjun tells them. “There’s even a Wikipedia page for grape ice cream, and a picture of it too.”

Jaemin raises his eyebrows. “No way.”

“Yeah, it even says there’s a grape festival in New York,” he adds. “Although it’s apparently not a common flavor here, it is in Japan.” 

“Okay but like, why? That just sounds gross,” Jeno grimaces.

“People have different tastes, dude,” Jaemin chastises him, redirecting the banter to circle back to Jeno. “Don’t make fun of people’s poor tastes. Some people are just born with poor taste. Just like how you have poor taste when you eat your salad with ketchup–”

“Oh my god that was ONE time!” Jeno says irritatedly.

All of them except Jeno are laughing at the memory.

“And we’re never going to let you live it down, dude,” Jaemin snickers.

“I mean, it was kinda funny how Donghyuck set it up for Mark to eat but you ate it instead,” Renjun giggles. “Like, you didn’t notice it at all, dude.”

“And not only did you not notice but you also _enjoyed_ it, and asked us what was wrong with it, I mean seriously, what the hell, dude?” Yeri finishes the banter.

Jeno groans and they all crack up. “You guys are the absolute worst.”

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best,” Renjun singsongs. “And you, Jeno-Jam, deserve to see us at our best, dude.”

Now they all laugh at that.

Dinner had been a good idea.

***

After she finishes dropping the three of them all off, she heads back home and pulls into the driveway. Carefully she opens the door, hoping Doyoung isn’t home.

“Yeri!”

Well, there goes that.

Here we go again, Yeri thinks, as she walks into the kitchen.

It’s practically a routine at this point, but she goes along with it anyways. It’s always fun to push on Doyoung’s buttons.

“Yes, H&M?” she says boredly.

“Yeri, you know I despise that nickname,” Doyoung glares at her.

“Well maybe if you didn’t act so _high_ and _mighty_ all the time,” Jennie says from the kitchen table, eyes locked on her phone as she scrolls through whatever app she’s browsing. 

“It stands for high maintenance but thanks Jennie, I’ll use that one too!” Yeri says.

“Jennie, I didn’t ask you,” Doyoung calls from behind his shoulder. 

“Just thought I’d say it,” Jennie shrugs noncommittally.

“And Yeri, you can’t even say hi to me at the library? You’ll say hi to Joy, but you can’t even say hi to me?”

“Why are you acting like that’s a big deal? You barely say hi to me when you see me in public too, Doey,” Yeri replies annoyedly.

“This is my last summer here before I go off to college, Yeri. You could at least try to pretend that I don’t annoy you,” he starts nagging her in Korean.

It's so annoying. She really doesn’t understand how her tediously nitpicky brother is friends with the U Group guys. “It was also kind of rude for you all to leave without saying goodbye,” Doyoung continues. “I mean come on, you guys would talk to Joy but not the rest of us?” 

Oh. 

“Oh, that,” she says out loud.

She can’t exactly say that the reason they didn’t greet Doyoung and Joy and friends was because she, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin all suspect one of them is involved in Mark’s disappearance. 

Well, technically she can, but that would just be a messy situation.

“We were just going out for dinner,” she tells him.

“Where did you guys even go? You smell like garlic,” Doyoung scowls. 

“We went to Silver Pond,” Yeri replies matter-of-factly. 

Doyoung’s jaw almost dropped to the floor.

“Silver Pond? In San Jose? Are you insane, Yeri?” he says, crossing his arms. “Do you know how much money gas is nowadays? And how expensive Silver Pond is?”

“H&M, why are you acting like mom?” Yeri scoffs. “Why were you even meeting at the library with them anyways? You graduated. You don’t have any work to do there. Seems shady. And it wasn’t expensive, Renjun knows the owner, we got a discount.”

“Because until mom gets back from her business trip I’m the one in charge,” Doyoung says back in Korean. “And we met there because we wanted _a change of location_ ,” he made air quotes in reference to Renjun’s explanation earlier, “to just try and hang out somewhere else. The library has projectors and we all wanted to watch a movie.”

Even though she’s just scrolling on her phone, Jennie purses her lips hearing them bickering.

“You couldn’t just watch it here? Or someone’s house?” Yeri says annoyedly.

“No, because unlike you, I don’t shrug off going to the library to meet with my friends, like you _said_ you would today, except you did drive off spending money recklessly, when you should be studying and doing your summer homework for your senior year.”

Usually she just gets annoyed when Doyoung rags on her like this, but this is one of those times where she’s beyond annoyed. She’s taking it way more personally than he meant it to be but she doesn’t care, that doesn’t stop her from giving him a taste of his own medicine.

“Okay well fine then, H-and- _mom_ , I’ll have you know that we left so suddenly because Jeno wanted to go and he was feeling down,” Yeri says as venomously as possible in Korean. “And we went to Silver Pond because he wanted to eat there, and we wanted to help him feel better.”

It works. She knows Doyoung has a soft spot for Jeno. Why, she’ll never know. But it makes Doyoung soften a bit and the frown of his lips untwists. Even Jennie looks up from her phone again, looking intently between the two of them. “I didn’t know, sorry,” Doyoung apologizes, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “How is Jeno?”

She only offers a cold-shouldered glare. “He’s okay, I guess. I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

“Yeri–”

“And no, I don’t want to talk about it with you, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk about it with you either. Seriously,” she actually says seriously, for a change, “you don’t have to worry about me, Doyoung. I’m his friend and I know he’ll be okay. We’re just helping him deal with it, alright? It’s hard, I’m sure you would be having a hard time too, if me or Jennie had been missing for this long.”

She gets a pointed look in return. “You’ve been helping him through it for a year now, Yeri.”

Doyoung isn't wrong. But Yeri doesn’t give up on her friends. And Doyoung shouldn’t be surprised by how much she’ll be there through thick and thin for them. Doyoung doesn’t know everything like Yeri does.

“He would do the same for me if you or Jennie had gone missing instead of Mark.”

Doyoung doesn’t say anything to that, just uncrosses his arms, indicating that he’s not going to argue with her. Jennie, once again disinterested in the conversation, goes back to eating her takeout and scrolling on her phone. “I just hope he’s doing okay,” he says.

“He will be. They’re going to find Mark. They have to,” Yeri asserts adamantly.

“No, I mean…” but Doyoung doesn’t finish his sentence and just sighs instead. “Nevermind.” He takes a manila package off the kitchen counter. “This came for you, by the way.” He tosses her the package. “It was out on the porch.”

Yeri looks at it. Like Doyoung said, it’s a package addressed to her. That’s her first and last name, address, town, state, zip code. She’s a bit surprised – she can’t recall ordering anything recently.

“Where’s it from?” she asks.

Doyoung shrugs. “How would I know? Wouldn’t you know that? I thought it was clothes you had ordered online or something.” 

This seems way too similar to Jeno’s situation for Yeri’s liking, getting a package that she didn’t know about, the contents of which she doesn’t know.

“Uh, did you happen to see who delivered it?”

Doyoung raises an eyebrow. “You mean the mailman? No, because I wasn’t home, I was at the library with Joy and everyone else watching ‘500 Days of Summer’, remember? Why?”

“No reason,” Yeri tries to brush it off casually. “I’m going to go open this in my room.” 

“Uh...okay? Why are you telling me that?” Doyoung asks.

“Is everything, okay, Yeri?” Jennie’s looking up from her phone again for the third time since she’s gotten home. This doesn’t feel right.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it,” she calls back as she walks out of the kitchen. “Just want to see if I have to return these clothes, might’ve ordered the wrong size,” she makes up an excuse as she goes upstairs to her room.

“If they don’t fit you, can I try them on?” Jennie asks her.

“No,” she calls back as she gets to the top of the stairs.

Her heart is racing, really fast. Way too fast. First Jeno. Then her. She hasn’t even opened it and she’s already dreading what it’s going to be. She secretly prays that it’s not what she thinks it is.

That it’s a gift from a mystery girl.

She shuts the door to her room and locks it, walking over to her window to close the blinds. She turns on the lights and puts the package on her desk. Carefully, she uses her keys to unseal the packaging, but right before she goes to open it, she stops herself.

Should she be doing this? She wonders if she should call Jeno or Jaemin or Renjun or just, someone, anyone, to convince her not to open the package. The ugly feeling in her stomach keeps growing in her chest and she thinks she might actually throw up. It’s awful, awful, awful, awful. This is awful. 

Who is doing this? What kind of sick prank is this? 

Please, please just be a package she forgot she ordered. For clothes or something. That aren’t the right size and that she has to return. It has to be something she just forgot she ordered. Right?

She opens the package.

Wrong.

Inside is a Nintendo DS. Scuffed, scratched, blue, a shiny Vancouver sticker slapped on the outside of it and some other stickers she’d made out of sharpie that Mark had put on it.

The sticker of a blue rose, stuck in the bottom left corner, is new.

It’s the DS that Donghyuck and Yeri had bought Mark for his 12th birthday. It was wrapped in a grey Vans sweatshirt that she pulled out of the package. It’s the same hoodie that Mark had worn the night he went missing, after the night had gotten a bit chilly. It has the same faded stain near the left sleeve, from that one time they ate chili cheese fries at the diner with Donghyuck.

The dark spots on the back of it, near the hoodie and the top, are new. 

They look like dried blood splatters.

Yeri ignores that thought. She’s not going to think about where they came from, shutting it out of her mind and locking it away.

She opens the DS, half-scared it will turn on. It doesn’t, so she tries pressing the power button. It’s completely dead. But there is an old ticket for the Monterey Bay Aquarium inside – it’s the ticket Mark kept in his wallet, from the time they went in seventh grade for extra credit in science class. But it’s not in his wallet. Someone had taken it out and now it’s in the DS that’s not with him anymore.

Her heart drops into the pit of horror that laid stewing in her stomach. The world keeps spinning but she can’t move, she’s frozen. It’s there, in her hands. The Nintendo DS that they had bought Mark so he could play Animal Crossing with her and Donghyuck, the grey sweatshirt that Donghyuck had bought him for his fifteenth birthday, they were all here, in her room. But she still can’t believe it. 

In her room laid missing pieces of a missing boy. It’s been returned to her, something she had given to him years ago but she has no idea who mailed this to her. 

She feels her stomach getting queasy as her throat starts to burn.

 _No, not here_ , Yeri steels herself. _You’re not throwing up. You’re not letting this get to you._

Breathe, Yeri. Breathe. 

She decompresses. Like how she taught Jeno to do. Like how Jaemin taught her to do.

There’s something else.

There’s a postcard that’s fallen to the ground after she had unfolded Mark’s sweatshirt.

She picks it up.

She’s not going to throw up.

Not here.

It’s another postcard from Los Angeles. It’s the exact same one Jeno got a couple days ago. She turns it over. No address. Where the address would be, a Pokemon HeartGold cartridge is taped to the postcard. She knows it’s Mark’s, because she bought it with Donghyuck for his birthday.

On the left side, instead of a note from Mark, there are the following words, typed in all caps and cut out from a piece of pink cardstock paper.

**BAD, BAD BOY’S, SHINY TOY WITH A PRICE, I KNOW THAT YOU BOUGHT IT**

She thinks she’s going to be sick.

Her phone goes off.

No, no, no, no, this can’t be happening.

It can’t. 

It can’t.

She can’t vomit.

She frantically shoves the DS and the sweatshirt under her bed, hidden behind all the boxes and clothes under there along with the postcard. She can’t let anyone find this. No one can know about this. Because if they see the blood spatters around the hoodie–

She’s going to vomit.

_Don’t do anything you’re going to regret,_ she had warned him.

 _I won’t. I promise,_ he had lied to her.

Her head spins. The world is spinning and it’s spinning too fast, threatening to knock her off balance as she struggles to keep her feet. It’s going to knock her over. It’s knocking her over and the feeling washing over her body is bad. This is bad. She’s going to vomit. 

She opens her phone.

She’s going to vomit.

Dinner had been a bad idea.

The bile is rising up in her throat. It burns, it burns and she wants to let go.

She’s going to vomit.

It’s a text from an unidentifiable number.

**Unknown Number** : _Simon says he knows what game Mark’s four friends are playing._

Yeri barely makes it to the bathroom toilet before she vomits up the sichuan noodles she was happily eating only an hour earlier.

* * *

_Half past midnight. River Ravine. This ends tonight._ : **Mark**

It’s simple and effective, Mark thought to himself, reading over it again. Hopefully it would send a clear message that he was done playing games, and he was beyond pissed. He hoped he could muster up the courage to be more angry and courageous than scared and fearful tonight. 

He hoped.

Sometimes hope is a dangerous thing to play with, Mark decided. He turned on the lights to the kitchen and grabbed a can of strawberry lemonade from the fridge.

Mark sat in the living room, drinking his strawberry lemonade as he internally debated with himself for a moment if he was still going to go through with this. He hadn’t expected this, but decided that maybe it was best to just confront this as it was and, if he was going to get out of this afterwards, maybe Mark could finally tell them everything, maybe at least _try_ to work things out.

Maybe he could finally be honest and stop hiding things from everyone. From Jeno. And Yeri. And Jaemin. And Renjun.

And Donghyuck.

And his friends.

And his family.

But that was a debate for another time.

He looked at Donghyuck’s contact name on his phone. If he wasn’t going to do what he originally planned, maybe a call was the best option. He stared at his phone screen for thirty seconds, unsure of what was the best course of action. But before he could click on Donghyuck’s name, his phone lit up and buzzed. It was an incoming call.

He was a bit surprised, but then again, he should’ve known this was going to happen. Still, he felt uneasy when, after the third ring, he finally pressed the green answer button on his screen. He brought the phone up to his ears, which were still buzzing. He already knew who was going to be on the end of the other line.

“Hey, Irene.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simon says that it’s a game, but Jeno wants to know their names.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/your_penguinpal)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/hugsy_penguin)
> 
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	6. Daybreak Below the Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeno decides to run up the trails about four blocks past his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: blood

_Killing me slow, out the window, I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below_

It’s a slow start to the morning as Jeno wakes up to his alarm. He checks the clock. 6 AM. He regrets taking a zero period his junior year, he doesn’t know how Yeri and Jaemin talked him into it, why did he agree to wake up so early–

“Yo, Jeno, are you ready for school?” 

He turns his head and finds Mark in the doorway, already dressed and ready.

“Mmmm…” is all Jeno can say, still groggy and a bit cranky.

“We’re gonna be late, dude! Can’t miss zero period on your first day of school! And my last first day of high school,” Mark adds cheekily.

What?

“Wait, what?” Jeno starts out of bed.

Mark gives him a funny look. “First day of school? Come on, mom’s downstairs waiting to take a picture of us before we go. You know how she is.”

“But I thought it was summer?” Jeno asks as he slips out of bed, hair messy and the weird sleep-crust irritating his eyes as he rubs them.

“Nah man, it’s the first day of school!” Mark beams. “Junior year starts today for you, dude.”

“Really? I slept for that long?”

“Yeah, it was all just a bad dream.”

Oh. It was all just a dream.

“Oh. Well that’s a relief.” Jeno feels like he can breathe easy again. “Guess it was just a bad dream,” he laughs airily. Jeno looks up at Mark. He doesn’t remember him having blue streaks in his hair. “It all happened so fast, huh? Summer and everything.”

Mark looks out the window. “Yeah,” Mark agrees, words warm but eyes cold. “Summer happens way too fast sometimes. Just passes by way too quickly.” 

He’s bleeding, Jeno realizes. There’s a trickle of red dripping on Mark’s grey Vans sweatshirt and Mark doesn’t seem to notice, just keeps smiling at him. Something is wrong.

“Mark, wait, you’re bleeding!”

Mark laughs at that. 

“Oh, hey you’re right! Yeah, I am bleeding. Wow!”

He looks Jeno straight in the eyes and frowns a bit.

“It’s because you didn’t save me.”

“What?”

“You forgot about me, Jeno. You didn’t save me."

He can't breathe.

"And now you never will.”

The blood keeps dripping down Mark’s head, and Jeno’s trying to scream but he can’t.

“Why didn’t you save me, Jeno?” 

He’s crying and it hurts, he tries running to Mark but he gets further and further away, the doorway further out of reach as he tries running faster but his lungs burn, his eyes burn, everything burns and burns and burns.

“Why didn’t you look for me, Jeno?”

It’s hollow, his voice is hollow, everything is hollow, there is nothing except a doorway and Mark is covered in blood and he hates it and he needs to run faster, faster, faster–

“Why am I still missing, Jeno?”

Run.

Run.

RUN.

“I miss you, Jeno.”

Please come home Mark, he desperately tries to shout out but he can’t there’s no sound everything is disappearing he can’t find him in the void and where’d he go where’d he go where’d he go where’d he go

“Do you miss me?”

Jeno jolts awake, tears running down his eyes. He’s having a hard time breathing and just inhales, exhales, slowly, in, out, in, out, like Yeri taught him. He needs to calm down.

A dream. It was just a dream.

He turns his head to the right to look at Mark’s bed. 

It’s still empty. 

Mark hasn’t come back. There’s no blood. It’s summer, this is real and it’s still summer. It was all just a bad dream. _Calm down_ , Jeno tells himself. _Calm down_.

He feels so tired. It’s now the third nightmare that he’s had about Mark’s disappearance this week. He hates that his brain conjures up these dreams when he’s sleeping. These feelings of guilt, these horrible visions of Mark dying every time, these icicles pricking his stomach that jut into his heart and won’t go away. It feels hopeless, like it’s never going to stop and he’ll have to live with these nightmares forever.

He sighs and checks his phone. It’s 5:33 AM. Taeyong is probably still asleep. Dad had driven to San Francisco for a business meeting with a client, and Mom is still out of town with Yeri’s mom for the conference they’re both attending. He didn’t have anyone to talk to and he didn’t want to wake Taeyong up.

If Mark was here, he could wake Mark up, tell Mark about his dream, and then they would play some video games to help take Jeno’s mind off everything until he felt better. 

But Mark isn’t here. He’s been missing for a year now. 

Jeno sighs. There was no point in trying to fall asleep again, when he’ll just be plagued with nightmares. _You need to give yourself a break._ Renjun’s words echo in his mind. Maybe he does need a break from everything.

After donning his running shoes and plugging the headphone jack into his phone, Jeno decides to run up the trails about four blocks past his house. It would be nice and cool, and the fog would make it more fun to run in. 

Reaching an amiable pace at the foot of the trails, he starts on the trail that goes to the top of the hill. As it twists and turns, the trail approaches a canyon. This part of the trail goes around the canyon and eventually twists its way to the top of the peak, where he would get a nice view of the forested slopes that surrounded Journey. The fog would just make it extra pretty too.

As he gets to the canyon he looks across to the other side through a gap in the trees and he spots someone walking along the trail. The shadows still haven’t receded completely to the morning daybreak, but he can make out her side profile, framed by her dark-haired bangs, there’s a pink ribbon in her hair, she looks–

Jeno stops in his tracks.

She looks like the mystery girl he saw at the office.

The one who gave him the note.

Instinctively he runs faster, trying to get to the other side of the canyon hidden by the trees. He feels his body burn as he sprints to try to get to the other side faster, catch her, ask her or get an answer or something, anything, he needs to know who she is–

What she was doing in Santa Cruz, with Mark, what she knows, is she Irene, is she the one sending them texts, his muscles start to strain but he forces himself to keep going, forces himself to keep going, he has to catch her–

He’s on the other side, but there’s no girl. He pants and stoops a bit, hands finding themselves gripping his hips. He looks across the canyon through the gap in the trees. That’s where he was running, just three minutes ago. That’s where he saw the girl. He swears he saw her.

Jeno rubs his eyes. Is he dreaming?

No. He’s not. This is completely real. He pinches himself just to check. Yep, it’s real.

Did he hallucinate her appearing? Is he starting to lose his mind?

No. He knows what he saw was real. But it’s impossible for her to just vanish out of thin air like that. Jeno’s been running up these trails for years, knows them like the back of his hand. There’s no way she could have just disappeared because there is no other trail up here. This is the only one. She couldn’t have just vanished like that.

Frustrated and confused, he concludes that he must have imagined the mystery girl. She wasn’t actually there. He knew what he saw, what he felt was real, but maybe it was lack of sleep. Not enough water. Trick of the shadows.

Sighing again, he decides to just do a slow jog up the rest of the way, his regular pace deflated after he sprinted for three minutes straight, trying to catch an imaginary girl with a pink ribbon.

***

At the top of the peak where the trail ends, there’s a secret little trail behind some of the trees. Jeno knows it very well after he accidentally stumbled upon it when he had to take a piss up here one time. If you follow it down, there’s a boulder that you could sit on, and in one part of the canopy there’s a gap where you could see the rest of the green slopes. During the summer, sometimes they would take on an emerald hue. with a slightly yellowish tint when the sunlight hits them just right.

Today isn’t one of those days, as the June gloom has set upon Journey this morning. It’s overcast, soupy fog hanging over the colder morning air, but Jeno thinks it’s pretty. Once he makes it to the hilltop, he heads down to the boulder and sits, just letting himself savor the morning. A sense of peace washes over him as he closes his eyes and just breathes, in and out, and takes off his headphones just to listen to the sounds of the morning birds and the slight breeze wafting through the trees. 

Just when he’s about to leave, he hears a voice up on the hill. No, voices. They seem to be getting louder, as if they’re approaching the top of the hill above. He figures they might be some of the elderly folks who like going on their morning hikes around the trails.

Jeno has never told anyone about his spot. Not Renjun, not Yeri, not Jaemin, not Donghyuck, not Taeyong, not Sunmi, not Mark. It’s where he can just be alone in his thoughts, and maybe it’s selfish of him to want it to stay a secret. But he likes that no one else knows about it, and he wants to keep it that way.

He decides to just wait it out until he can hear whoever’s up there go back down. So, he keeps watching the fog drift over the treetops as the voices up at the top of the peak become background noise.

Eventually his mind drifts from whatever he was contemplating, and he catches himself eavesdropping on the conversation above him.

“Does Taeyong know?”

Immediately he perks up, alert to the conversation. The voices sound familiar, definitely not just elderly folks on a morning hike. But he doesn’t recognize the voice as he can only hear them from a distance. Maybe it’s one of Taeyong’s friends – but he can only really recognize Ten’s voice and that doesn’t sound like Ten. Who is that? Why are they talking about Taeyong?

“No, I don’t think so,” another other voice responds. It’s warm, friendly, and resonant. But his words are anything but. Why does this voice sound familiar? “I think, for now, he might know a bit but he doesn’t know everything.”

“How much does he know, you think?” That’s the first voice again. It’s gravelly, low, like a deep bass guitar.

“I’m really not too sure,” the warm familiar voice answers. “He’s been acting kind of weird lately. But I think it’s because, you know, it’s going to be a year soon. Since Mark went missing.”

Jeno tenses. They’re talking about Mark. Why are they talking about Mark? What’s going on?

“But no one can know anything,” the familiar voice continues. “Please don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

It’s disorienting, hearing them talk about Mark, as if there’s some secret they know and the rest of the world doesn’t. 

“I dunno, J,” the first voice says. Jeno burns that into his memory. J, that’s the warm voice talking. Who is J? “I think Taeyong is catching onto you. Or us, in general.”

There’s a pause. “I don’t think so,” J replies. “He’s just acting weird because he’s upset, you know. Mark disappeared almost a year ago now. It’s his brother, after all.” Why does J’s voice sound so familiar?

Again there’s a pause. “What do you know about Mark disappearing?” The first voice asks J.

“About as much as you do,” J replies. “But he shouldn’t have been missing for this long.”

“What does that mean?”

J pauses, as if hesitant. “I can’t tell you, Winko.”

Winko. That’s the first voice that’s deep like a bass. Who is Winko? Who is J? Why do they sound familiar? Are these their real names?

“Remember what I said about keeping secrets?” Winko says in a harsh tone.

“I’m serious. It’s not my place to tell.”

“So you _do_ know something about what happened to Mark.”

“No. I don’t,” J says again.

“I don’t know what would be worse, you lying, or you telling the truth.”

J laughs emptily at that. “I don’t think you want to know the answer.”

“Maybe I don’t. But what I want to know, though, is if you’ve been keeping secrets from me. Because you know that never ends well,” Winko tells J a bit darkly.

“There’s a reason why some secrets are kept secrets,” J retorts, a bit too directed at Winko, almost like an attack. “You of all people should know that.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but should we head back down soon?” a third voice speaks, interrupting the conversation.

Jeno’s blood chills. It’s not just familiar. He knows exactly who it is that just spoke. But it can’t be. Can it? He doesn’t want it to be.

“Yeah, maybe this is all getting a bit too heavy,” Winko says. “I’m sorry I brought up Mark, guys. I'm just...I’m a bit worried. About all of us. About you,” he finishes, and Jeno isn’t sure if the last sentence was directed towards J specifically.

“It’s no problem,” the third voice replies. “I think we all are. I’m getting worried too.”

“What do you mean?” J asks.

“I thought my sister was doing okay, you know, dealing with Mark being missing and everything. But a couple nights ago, she ended up vomiting in the bathroom for like five minutes. And she wasn’t drunk, because she was driving that day.”

“Shit, dude, do you know what happened?” Winko asks.

“No idea. But I don’t know if any of them are handling Mark’s disappearance very well,” the third voice says. “Jeno especially. Poor dude must have it rough. Having to deal with that and, you know, Taeyong’s problems too. I know I would be having a hard time too, if Mark and Taeyong were my older brothers.”

“Maybe you should tell her to take a break, or something,” J says. “I dunno, I get the feeling that those four are obsessing about Mark a bit too much and it’s getting to them. Like...Mark’s not my brother so I don’t know how they feel, but maybe they should just try to distract themselves. Take it easy or something. I’m sure the police are doing their best to find him.”

Winko laughs. “Easy for you to say when your dad’s a cop. It’s way more complicated than that, dude.” 

The third voice chuckles slightly. “Well, yeah, maybe I could tell her to just take a break from seeing them for a bit. I have a feeling she might be getting overwhelmed, it’s been a year now. She was the last person to see him that night, after all. I know that weighs her down.”

“You don’t know that,” J says. “Mark could’ve seen other people that night, before he died.”

No.

Mark...is dead?

That’s not possible.

Jeno wants to scream at all of them that Mark isn’t dead, that he’s not dead, he can’t be dead because he’s just missing. He’s only missing. But he can’t. And he can’t tell if it’s because he doesn’t want to be found by them, or because he doesn’t want them to be right.

“You’re right, I don’t know,” the third voice continues. “However, you seem to know more than you’re letting on, J. Since apparently Mark is dead.”

J scoffs humorlessly. “I already told you, I don’t know any more than you do. Even if my dad’s a cop, he doesn’t tell me much about the investigation. But there’s no way Mark’s been missing this long if he’s still alive. He would have contacted someone by now. I’m just saying what we’re all thinking. He probably got himself killed, doing something stupid that night.”

J pauses for a bit.

“I just hope it’s not my fault.”

It sounds like regret.

Something sounds like a pat on the back. “Don’t worry about it dude,” Winko says. “Me and Doyoung know you’re not–”

The blood in his ears is ringing.

Doyoung.

That’s the third voice speaking. He knew it. He knew it was Doyoung the minute he heard him speak to Winko and J. 

Doyoung, who he’d known since he'd first gone over to Yeri's house in middle school. Doyoung, who took him under his wing during freshman year music class. Doyoung, his Geometry tutor and someone he felt like he could always talk to, and trust. Doyoung, who had helped him study for the Psych AP Test. Doyoung, who treats Jeno like he's his own little brother.

Jeno feels like he’s going to be sick. It’s Doyoung talking with them and Jeno feels his heart racing faster than it should be this early in the morning. It shouldn’t feel like a betrayal.

But it stings like one.

“–that works, but you can’t keep secrets forever,” Doyoung replies. “You know something. And the more you keep from us, the more we assume the worst. And I don’t want to assume the worst, because I am your friend...I just hope you’re my friend too,” he finishes harshly.

“I know, Doey,” J sighs. “I know. But please, please believe me when I say I don’t know anything. I have no idea what happened to Mark. I just...it’s just really, really complicated.”

“What is?” Doyoung asks. “What is it that’s so complicated? I thought you said your dad doesn’t tell you anything about Mark’s case?”

Jeno shifts and accidentally snaps a branch. There’s silence on the hill for six seconds. He’s pleading that they just think it’s an animal. 

“What was that?” J asks.

He’s pleading that they don’t discover him down here, from this little corridor of the earth that no longer feels peaceful and serene.

“I dunno, maybe a deer or something?” Doyoung replies.

It feels claustrophobic, maddening, isolating.

“Maybe we should go back down,” Winko breaks the silence. “More people might be coming up to hike this morning. I know there’s a group of old Chinese folk that like to hike these trails in the morning. Wouldn’t want anyone to eavesdrop.”

Doyoung hums in agreement. Jeno makes out the sound of feet moving and walking.

“Hey, do you guys know anyone named Irene?” Doyoung asks out of the blue.

“Irene? Nope, although I feel like I’ve heard that name before. Why?” J asks.

“I dunno. Yeri was asking me if I know anyone named Irene,” Doyoung says. “Or if any of you know someone named Irene. It was kinda weird. She asked me after she came back from picking up Jeno in Santa Cruz. Maybe Irene’s someone she and Jeno met down there? I don't know.”

It sounds like they’re starting to head back. Feet hitting the dirt trail, the small crunch of gravel and pebbles, the voices starting to decrease in volume slightly.

“Maybe she’s jealous Jeno is seeing someone, bro,” J says. “Could be that Irene’s his secret girlfriend down in Santa Cruz or something.”

“What? No, I don’t think Yeri likes him that way,” Doyoung replies. “I would’ve known by now if Jeno and Yeri were dating. They’re just friends. I think she likes Renjun, though.”

“Well, I can tell you that Renjun and Yeri aren’t a thing,” Winko chimes in. “Renjun would’ve told me if they were. Although I think Renjun likes Jaemin.”

What?

“Really?” J says surprisedly.

“Or something like that,” Winko replies. “But the four of them do seem pretty close. Wouldn’t be surprised if eventually a pair of them got together.”

The three voices fade gradually. Jeno can’t make out what they’re saying anymore as they slowly dissolve into the quiet of the morning. He waits for two minutes before he scrambles back up the hill and checks. No one is around. He waits for five minutes before slowly, slowly walking down the trail to make sure there’s a good distance between him and them.

His heart can’t stop beating out of his chest. Adrenaline is surging through his veins, even though he’s trying to walk slowly to calm himself down. It’s not working, so he decides to just run the rest of the way down. That doesn’t work either, it’s just getting him more frantic, more confused, more overwhelmed, and he doesn’t know what to do.

The thoughts in Jeno’s mind keep racing and whirring, threatening to spin out of control. Who is Winko? Who is J? Why was Doyoung talking to them? What does J know? What does Taeyong not know? What does it have to do with Mark? Why were they talking about Mark’s disappearance? Why did they think he and Yeri were dating? Why did they think Jaemin and Renjun were dating? Why doesn’t he know if Renjun liked Jaemin that way? Why–

Jeno trips and falls, barely catching his feet to stop himself from eating dirt. He stops and once again, tries steadying himself. He should be warm, but he’s not. He can’t stop shivering. Running was supposed to help him calm down this morning, not increase his anxiety. It feels like the world is caving in on him and he doesn’t know how to get out.

Breathe, in and out, inhale, exhale. 

Breathe, like how Yeri taught him to do. 

Eventually he calms himself down, forcing his body to breathe slowly. He glances up at his surroundings when something catches his eye. 

It’s a pink ribbon.

It looks like the same color that the mystery girl was wearing, the girl he thought he saw this morning. And the same color as the envelope he’d gotten in his work mailbox.

He realizes he’s back down near the canyon now, halfway down the trail and halfway closer to home. He walks closer to the tree it’s hanging from. There it is. 

So he wasn’t making her up in his mind. She had been here this morning.

How come he hadn’t noticed it before? 

Jeno looks around, then decides to walk a bit further down before walking back. From this angle, as you walk up the trail, Jeno realizes you can’t see the ribbon. It’s only when you’re walking down that you might just see it, if you happened to trip, stumble, and then try to find your bearings. Bewildered, he climbs up the slope and unties the ribbon from the tree branch.

As he grasps the ribbon in his palm, he looks past this tree and realizes there appears to be a small set of steep, staggered rocks going up the hill. Almost like stepping stones. Curious, Jeno walks up to see where it takes him, careful to watch his step as the dirt might be unstable. When he reaches the top, he looks back down – he’s about five meters above the main trail, up amongst the trees at the foot of a trail to his right that doesn’t look well-traveled. Still, someone’s been on it.

Maybe he doesn’t know these trails as well as he thought he did, because Jeno didn’t know this one even existed. Then again, if you didn’t look from that specific tree because you saw a pink ribbon hanging from it, you would have never thought to look up here.

Jeno decides to head along the path to see where it leads him. He’s getting deeper into the trees now, and it’s definitely less-traveled. Part of Jeno is scared that he’s going to see a coyote or a mountain lion, and the further he goes into the trees, the less he can see of the main trail path. But he’s determined to find out where this ends up taking him.

After several steep inclines, twists, turns, and bends, the trail levels out and leads to a grassy field where the trees have cleared. It’s small, but it’s nice, Jeno thinks. It looks so serene. The trees encircle the field, but through some of them you can see the mountains, and others you can see parts of Journey through the clearing. Wildflowers dot the landscape and in the field lays a wooden log that seems like a good resting place.

Jeno admires it all for a bit. It’s even better than his little boulder he had found at the top of the hill. He’s surprised that such a place even exists on the hills of Journey – he thought all the hills and peaks were just full of emerald trees. A rabbit hops along the periphery, and birds chirp happily. Butterflies flutter from wildflower to wildflower as bees buzz with the sound of business. It makes him happy, gleeful almost that he had decided to take the trail less traveled. One day, he wants to come back with a sandwich and a water bottle, and just sit here and take it all in. Savor every sound, every sensation, every experience.

But today is not that day. 

Because he knows that if he found this place, then the mystery girl must have walked through here too. The pink ribbon was tied to the tree for a reason.

He continues on the path, away from the grassy field, finds himself back in the trees. There’s a downward slope now, the incline slightly steep but manageable as he maneuvers along the trail carefully. It feels much longer than the path that was before the field. He checks his phone. It’s been about 20 minutes since he found this trail and it’s almost 7:21 AM. He sighs, wondering if whatever’s at the end will be worth it. He decides that if he doesn’t get to the end of the trail in the next ten minutes, he would go back the way he came and head home.

Determined to find the end, he walks a bit brisker now, pace increasing as the land flattens and becomes more manageable to run on. As he jogs he hears what sounds like a motorcycle and what looks like the tops of houses, and he knows he must be getting closer to a neighborhood and he’s even more determined, running faster and faster and–

There’s a hedge in front of him.

It looks familiar. He’s not sure why.

He’s not sure how to get around when he looks down on the ground, and sees that there appears to be a small opening through the thick bush. If he crawls right through it, then he’ll get to the other side. So he does.

When Jeno’s on the other side, he realizes he’s surrounded by flowers. He quickly gets up and looks around to figure out where he is.

He recognizes this street.

It’s Cornelia Street. 

The street is named after the pastel pink roses with yellow tinges that grow in front of the hedge. Jeno turns around and realizes he had crawled through the hedge, and that, indeed, if you fit your body just the right way, you could crawl through the hedge to get back to the trees and the path that led to the field in the hills. 

But that’s not the only reason Jeno recognizes Cornelia Street.

Jeno also recognizes Cornelia Street because it’s where Renjun lives. 

And he’s sure it’s not a coincidence that Renjun’s house is what’s right in front of him. There are other houses on Cornelia Street. But the trail ended at the part of the hedge growing right in front of Renjun’s house.

Renjun lives about three miles away from him, and Jeno isn’t sure if he’s in the mood to run another three miles to get back home. Jeno takes his phone out and checks the time – 7:45 AM – before deciding to call Renjun to see if he’s awake.

On the fourth ring, Renjun picks up. “Jeno?” He answers on the phone.

“Hey, did I wake you?”

“No, but it’s really early, why are you calling? Also, why are you awake so early?”

“Could be asking you the same thing.”

“Fair enough.”

“Could you give me a ride home?”

“Uh, aren’t you at home?”

“No, I’m standing outside your house.”

“You’re _what_?!”

Renjun quickly scrambles out the front door, his bed head framing his Moomin pajama shirt and sweatpants. He ends up agreeing to drive Jeno home. However, before he gets to go home, Renjun drives them about five minutes away from Cornelia Street and parks on the side of the road. “Explain yourself, now,” Renjun demands. “And holy crap, you smell like a mix of sweat, wet dog and dirt,” he grimaces as he rolls down the windows. “Please take a shower when you get home.”

Jeno explains everything. How he had a nightmare about Mark, how he had decided to go on a run up the trails, how he thought he saw the mystery girl, how he was going to the bathroom up on the hill (he lied, he still didn’t want to tell Renjun the truth about his boulder), how he heard three people talking, one was Doyoung and the other two were called Winko and–

“Wait, Winko?” Renjun makes him stop. “Are you sure that’s the name you heard up there?”

“Yeah, J called him Winko. Why?”

A frown forms on Renjun’s lips. “I know who Winko is. It’s Sicheng. That’s his nickname.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, it’s...it’s him,” Renjun says with reluctance. “In Chinese club, we used to call him Winko, it’s a variation on Winwin. Because his nickname was Winwin on the dance team since he always won the competitions.”

Jeno doesn’t understand. “But it didn’t sound like he knew what was happening, don’t worry,” he pets Renjun’s arm. “I think he wanted to know what J knows. I think he said that he didn’t know how much J knows.”

“I want to know what J knows too,” Renjun replies. “I don’t know who J is, but I think I can figure out if I get that answer from Sicheng himself.”

“Wait, no, you can’t tell them that I heard–”

“I’m not going to do that, dummy,” Renjun says dismissively, “I’m just going to casually mention it in conversation, like, ‘hey Sicheng, does anyone else call you Winko?’ Because it’s just us in Chinese club who call him that. I’ll just bring it up like that.”

“Oh.” Jeno hadn’t thought about approaching it like that, but that’s much more subtle than what he had envisioned. Renjun usually was clever like that.

“And then once we figure out who J is, we’re going to find out what he knows about Mark.”

“And the mystery girl.”

“You never got to that part, Jeno,” Renjun reminds him.

“I was getting to it, how else was I gonna explain how I got to you this morning?” Jeno says, amused at Renjun’s irritable reaction to that. 

He goes on to explain how he tripped and fell when he was running back down – “I’m not surprised,” Renjun snorts – and happened to see the pink ribbon (he holds it up to show Renjun), which led him to find a grassy field on the hillside, and when he went back down and continued on the trail he found–

“And that’s how I ended up at your house this morning,” Jeno finishes telling him the story. “I recognized that it was Cornelia Street immediately. The part of the hedge in front of your house looks pretty dense, but there’s actually a bit of an opening right after where the Cornelia roses grow. It gives way to the path behind it to the trails in the hills. Like a tunnel, kinda. A flower tunnel?” Jeno isn’t sure what to call it.

“Huh. So the mystery girl’s pink ribbon led you back to me.”

Renjun doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s sure of it. But suddenly Jeno remembers what Doyoung said back up on the hill.

_I think Renjun likes Jaemin. Or something like that._

Why does he feel himself sweating again? He had stopped running about fifteen minutes ago. Suddenly Renjun’s car feels smaller than it initially did. He’s getting flashbacks to that night.

Why does he feel like it should be Jaemin, not him, in Renjun’s car this morning?

“In any case, I didn’t see any mysterious girl in the neighborhood this morning,” Renjun continues. “But she must have been up there for a reason. And she must have been on that trail for a reason.”

“But why? Why was she up there? And what do you think J knows about Mark?”

Uncertainty creases and furrows on Renjun’s face, his frown disheartening to see. “I don’t know. But it sounds like J knows something about what Mark was doing that night, and that he might have been – but he’s not!” Renjun stops himself. “He’s not, Jeno. The police would have found something by now if he was. He’s not...you know…”

_Why didn’t you save me, Jeno?_

We didn’t know, Mark.

_Why didn’t you look for me, Jeno?_

We’re trying, Mark.

_Why am I still missing, Jeno?_

We don’t know, Mark.

_I miss you._

Please come home, Mark.

_Do you miss me?_

Jeno forces himself to block his nightmares out, stop thinking about it. That wasn’t Mark in his head. It was just his imagination. It wasn’t real.

But then again, he thought the mystery girl wasn’t real this morning either, and here he is, holding the pink ribbon he saw around her ponytail.

His body lets out an involuntary sigh. “It’s okay, Injunnie. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, please don’t worry about it,” he smiles at Renjun. “I’m just glad I can tell you all of this because I followed the path back to your place. It felt really nice to talk to you. I feel a lot better than I did when I woke up this morning.”

Renjun smiles back. “It makes me feel better too. Thanks for entertaining me this morning, it’s fun hearing about all the adventures you’re having,” he grins wryly, nudging Jeno’s shoulder. The two of them laugh at the notion.

When they get back to Jeno’s house, Renjun asks him if he wants to go to the farmer’s market with him, Chenle, Haseul and Jaemin this morning. 

_I think Renjun likes Jaemin. Or something like that._

Why does he get the strange feeling that they’re both keeping something from him?

“Didn’t you just tell me I needed to take a shower?”

Renjun scoffs. “I meant after your shower, idiot.”

He laughs. “I’m okay, but thank you, I think I just want to shower and try to take a nap, or something, just rest a bit,” Jeno declines. “Have fun though!”

He waves Renjun off and goes back inside to take a shower. There’s the smell of eggs and bacon but also siraegi guk and oyster mushrooms and sesame, and Taeyong’s probably making him breakfast. His stomach growls loudly.

“Jeno, is that you?” 

“Yeah!” Jeno yells back as he takes off his shoes.

“Did you go on a run this morning?” Taeyong says.

“Yeah!”

“Are you hungry?” Taeyong asks.

“Yeah!”

“Breakfast will be ready in five minutes!” Taeyong calls from the kitchen.

“Got it, just gonna take a shower!” he tells Taeyong as he runs upstairs, smiling to himself.

The morning may have started off terrible, and maybe he did feel upset, and alone, and confused. But it’s okay now. He’s going to have to figure out what to do about Doyoung, and Sicheng, and whoever J was, but it’s okay now. They know something, and think Taeyong is onto them, but it’s okay now. The mystery girl left a hint for a path leading to Cornelia Street, and that’s mysterious, but it’s okay now. 

He’ll think about it later, but right now he just wants to savor the feeling of warmth inside of him. The mystery could wait long enough for him to enjoy his breakfast with Taeyong. He enjoys every moment he can with Taeyong, because he wants to make sure Taeyong’s still doing okay.

He daydreams that Renjun and Jaemin have solved the mystery with Yeri, and Mark gets to come back home. It makes Jeno feel stupidly happy as he massages the conditioner into his hair during his morning shower.

* * *

Mark answered the call.

“Hey, Irene.”

“No, I – just let me explain…”

He sighed.

“It’s complicated, Irene. Really complicated.”

“I don’t know if you do.”

Uncertainty, silence, one quiet night, a faint trace of breath, and waiting.

“I’m meeting Simon.”

“Can’t tell you.”

“I’m sorry, Irene, I just can’t.”

“Positive. Thank you for all your help, but I think...I think this is something I need to do on my own. This is my mess. I have to fix it. Please.”

“Yes.”

He let out a dry laugh. “I know. And that’s why I have to do this alone.”

A car pulled into the driveway. Headlights shined through the kitchen window, and then turned off. It was now or never.

“Hey, I gotta go.”

“Not yet, but eventually, yeah.”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” Mark almost said sarcastically, if not for the grim reality that he felt like he really had no other choice. 

“Funny you say that, my friend just told me the same thing right before she dropped me off.”

“Yeah, Yeri.”

“Anyways, I gotta go. They’re waiting for me.”

“I will. I promise.”

It burned, hearing that from Irene. But she was right. He could lie to Yeri, but he couldn’t lie to Irene. Even through the phone, when it’s just her voice, he couldn’t lie to her.

Mark didn’t know if that terrified him or if that made him feel safer.

“Okay. I won’t promise. I’ll just try to be safe.”

He ended the call, and then headed upstairs to get everything before he met them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While Jeno washes up for breakfast, Jaemin goes to the farmer’s market for strawberries.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/your_penguinpal)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/hugsy_penguin)
> 
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	7. Window of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin goes back to visit the B.A. Bleeker Farm stand, the smell of ripe strawberries filling his nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, long time no see! Sorry for the lack of updates, funnily enough, this summer has been quite...turbulent haha, but the story continues! The next couple of chapters will be posted fairly quickly (every 1-2 weeks) to wrap up Part One. Hope you're excited to see how everything develops!

“Dude, these oranges are only two dollars a pound!” Chenle says. “That’s such a good deal.”

“Hey, we should get some of those,” Haseul tells Jaemin. “Dad might like them for his orange juice he makes in the morning, yeah?”

“Which dad, genius?” he says sarcastically.

“You know which Dad, idiot,” she teases back.

“Hey guys, I’m gonna go get some egg rolls over there,” Renjun says. 

“I’m gonna go get some with Renjun!” Chenle adds. “I’m hungry.”

The morning smells of ripe produce, damp earth, hickory smoke, and sweet strawberries. Fresh-baked pastries scent the air with a warm, comforting aroma and mix with the sounds of the farmer’s market hustle and bustle. 

Renjun had picked him and Haseul up from their house, and they’re here to look for produce for tonight. Earlier this morning, Haseul had come up with a list of everything they were going to make, and they were going with Renjun and Chenle to find some ingredients. Tonight, they’re making their dads a surprise early anniversary dinner. Jaemin had looked up the recipes, and Haseul had made the list of ingredients they would buy.

Since they were already hanging out with Renjun and Chenle today anyways, they had all gone to the farmer’s market in Santa Cruz to buy some produce (and get some pastries). When they were younger and their parents less busy, he and Haseul used to come here all the time with their dads. Nowadays though, since dad had to fly to and from both Korea and New York for work, they don’t have as much time to go out as a family.

Jaemin thinks it’ll be really nice to make them a meal that reminds them of the old times. He gets some apple pastries Dad used to buy him as a kid, and Haseul gets the applewood bacon she knows dad will like. The only thing missing is strawberries for the acai bowls they’re making for dessert; Haseul and dad had recently gotten on this whole health kick after they went down to visit USC for her orientation and tried an acai bowl.

He goes back to visit the B.A. Bleeker Farm stands, the smell of ripe strawberries filling his nose. It’s sort of a nostalgic smell, one he’s remembered since middle school.

“Hey Jaemin, Haseul!” Taeil greets him from the stand. “Here for strawberries?”

“Of course, Bleeker’s are the best!” Haseul replies.

Taeil Moon isn’t actually a real farmer, but rather a member of the “Big Three” CKI families. A group of “family conglomerates” that basically acted as one chaebol in all but name, they ran their real estate business, luxury clothing label, and banking companies out of San Francisco’s Financial District. Taeil, son of one of the board members, was apparently supposed to have a seat at the executive table, but had purportedly decided to postpone a career in stock markets and designer brands to settle for investing in the humble work of farming. 

It made for a compelling “he’s just like us” story that was no doubt good PR for his family’s corporate interests in appearing more relatable (or a narrative showcasing their diversifying interests). But in all of Jaemin’s encounters with him, Taeil Moon has always been very humble and kind. Definitely not as pretentious and snotty as he thought Taeil would be.

It also helps that his dad works for a branch of their chaebol (Kim-Moon Group Ltd.) as an investment banker, Taeil is his co-worker, and his Dad loves the strawberries– it’s why Jaemin likes the strawberries at all (he used to hate strawberries as a kid).

“What’s the occasion?” Taeil asks as he gets a box of them out for Jaemin.

“It’s our dads’ anniversary soon,” Haseul smiles. “Me and Jaemin are going to make them acai bowls for dessert.”

“Ah, acai bowls, I see,” Taeil nods his head. “That’s an...interesting choice for dessert.”

“Hey, it wasn’t my idea,” Jaemin replies coolly. “Haseul and dad wanted to make them after they went down to SoCal for her orientation. Definitely not my thing. But I’m not opposed to it.”

“Well, I suppose it’s good to try different things, you never know what your dads might like,” Taeil says amicably. 

“See, I told you it sounded good!” Haseul tells him, to which Jaemin simply shrugs.

“How is Baek–I mean, your dad?”

“He’s doing alright,” he tells Taeil. “He’s heading back to Korea in two weeks for work, but since it’s summer, it's no biggie. No super busy school schedule for him to worry about.”

“Ah, I see. Hey, are these okay?” Taeil asks as he holds up two cartons of strawberries for Jaemin and Haseul. “I picked these ones myself, they’re pretty sweet on their own and I think they’ll be great for your acai bowls.”

“Can we try some?”

“I don’t know, can you?” Taeil teases.

“Alright, _may_ we try them?” Haseul asks mildly.

“Of course!”

Jaemin bites into one of the strawberries. It tastes sweet and refreshing, not too overwhelming and just the right amount of slight tang to them. Tasty yet assertive, with that delicious red flavor that B.A. Bleeker’s strawberries are famous for. Nothing like the fake, sugary and disgusting strawberry flavor in strawberry yogurt or ice cream.

“Oh my god, these are perfect,” Haseul says. “Can we take both batches?”

“All four cartons? Wow, are you making a lot of acai bowls?” Taeil asks.

“Well we want to eat them on their own, too!” Haseul replies. “They’re always so good, Taeil. How are they always delicious every time?”

Taeil laughs and flashes them a humble smile. “Love. Well I mean, of course we’ve refined our agricultural methods, but really, it’s just love and respect for the earth! That’s the secret ingredient, I always tell people that when they ask because it’s true.” 

After they buy the rest of their produce, they meet up with Chenle and Renjun, who had gotten some egg rolls and sticky buns from one of the local Chinese vendors. They sit down at one of the farmer’s market tables to eat some of the food they got, the morning fog now broken, rays of sun beaming down warmth in the air of the farmer’s market.

“What are you guys making for your parents?” Chenle asks.

“Jaemin picked all the recipes,” Haseul says between a bite of apple tart. “We’re making them gyeran-jjim, kimchi-jjigae, dakbokkeumtang, and acai bowls.”

Renjun grunts on his sticky bun. “One of those things is definitely not like the others.”

“Hey, that wasn’t my idea, that’s all her,” Jaemin replies.

“What? They’re good, you guys,” Haseul states. “Seriously, have you ever tried an acai bowl? They’re really healthy! And with all the fresh fruit we bought today they’re going to be delicious! I think Dad’s gonna love them.”

“Whatever you say, dude,” Jaemin shrugs. “Don’t really get the hype.”

“Mmmm, I agree with Haseul,” Chenle says between mouthfuls. “They’re really good! Joy took me and Jisung to a place that makes them in Westside, they’re so good.”

“How is Jisung? He didn’t want to come today,” Haseul asks.

“Eh, he’s okay, I guess,” Chenle replies. “Life is kinda hectic for him, ya know, his parents trying to sort out their finances and everything to send both Joy and Jihyo off to college at the same time and everything. You know how he gets stressed out about stuff like that, not sure why but that’s just how he is.”

“Where did Joy get in again?” Renjun asks.

“I think it was Loyola Marymount?” Chenle says. “She got a partial scholarship there, so that’s pretty cool. Jihyo got into the San Francisco Conservatory, I think? You applied there, right Haseul?”

“I did,” Haseul nods her head. “I ended up choosing to go to USC though. I didn’t want to make music my whole future, I’m not sure, you know…”

Jaemin tunes Haseul out, having heard this spiel way too many times now to care. He doesn’t know how many times he’s heard her talk about this, and it’s not like he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t care to relisten to her retelling this story for probably the hundredth time now.

His mind wanders off, just thinking about life, how they’re all sitting here just like when his dads would take him and Haseul to the farmer’s market back in middle school, and make them all dinner, and sometimes he’d invite Jeno and Donghyuck over, and sometimes Mark too, and Mark is still missing, they still have to figure out the whole Irene plus mystery girl plus anonymous texter situation, what Mark was up to that night, the night that he slept over at Renjun’s and there was also the party–

Wait.

Jaemin had a conversation with Mark. Here, at the farmer’s market, the day before he went missing, a year ago.

«««

It was June 20th. A gentle heat stoked the summer air at the farmer’s market. Yeri, Donghyuck, and Jaemin had gone that day to buy some strawberries and get barbacoa tacos from one of the seasonal summer vendors.

“Wow, these strawberries are so good,” Yeri said, grabbing another one from the carton.

“Eh, I’ve had better,” Donghyuck scoffed.

“Oh really? Where,” Jaemin challenged him.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “You only like them so much because that Taeil dude is friends with your parents and your dad works for them. Otherwise you wouldn’t enjoy them that much.”

A bit offended, Jaemin replied, “They’re actually good though. Just admit you don’t wanna like them because you were making eyes at Taeil.”

“I was not,” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out. “He’s totally not my type. But you know who is? Sicheng,” he sighed dreamily. “Johnny told me Yuta invited him to the party they’re throwing tomorrow night. Sicheng...he’s such a dreamboat.”

“Okay, gross,” Yeri made a face. “We do _not_ want to listen to you being all mushy about dudes you think are hot, thank you very much.”

“But you always want to gossip with me about men, Kim Yerim,” Donghyuck replied coyly. “Especially about a certain someone named–”

“ _Not_ when I’m eating food, thank you very much,” Yeri said.

“Are you guys done with your tacos? I’m gonna go throw out the trash and then wash my hands,” Jaemin said.

“Yep, thanks Jaemin!” Yeri replied a bit too hastily, as if she wanted him to vacate the tables before Donghyuck blabbed about who she liked.

Jaemin gathered all their wrappers and threw them in the garbage, and then headed off to the bathroom to wash his hands. Afterwards, he had gotten distracted by one of the stalls selling peaches – he had a sudden craving for them and wasn’t sure why.

As he browsed the selection on display, he heard a familiar voice.

“Are you sure?”

That voice sounded a lot like Mark.

Jaemin turned around and indeed, two stalls down, there Mark Lee was, having a conversation with Taeil. He doesn’t remember all the words now, can only recall hearing “decision” and “take your time” exchanged between the two of them.

Surprised that Mark was also at the farmer’s market, Jaemin decided to say hi. As he walked away from Taeil’s stand and towards his direction, Jaemin waved and shouted “Yo, Mark!” and Mark looked at him, wide-eyed at first, then a flashy smile alongside a warm greeting.

“Jaemin! Hey dude, what’s up?” 

“Hey, not much, I’m just here with Yeri and Donghyuck, we were getting tacos and some of Taei– I mean, Mr. Moon’s strawberries,” Jaemin replied. “What are you doing here? Didn’t know you also came to the farmer’s market!”

“Ah, usually not,” Mark admitted sheepishly. “I’m actually uh, here with a friend. Just like Donghyuck, I guess, he mentioned coming with you and Yeri because he was bored or something like that, something about coming to get the best strawberries?”

Jaemin took note of the fact that Donghyuck had called them the best strawberries. He was so going to use that against him later.

“Ah, what friend?” Jaemin asked.

“Someone on USB,” Mark replied a bit too quickly.

“Oh! Who?”

Mark seemed to struggle a bit at answering that question, as if it was a bigger deal than it should have been. “Uh...you don’t know them.”

Jaemin raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean I don’t know them? You talk about USB stuff all the time,” he joked. “Remember when you wouldn’t shut up about prom stuff during Mr. Kim’s math class? It’s kinda your life, you know, being the new junior class president and all now.”

“Ah, yeah, yeah, that’s true,” Mark laughed nervously. “It’s uh...uh…”

“Oh.” Something clicked in Jaemin’s mind. “Are you here on a secret date or something?”

“Uh...yeah, actually. I’m here on a date, haha, sorry, it’s kind of lowkey,” Mark grinned, embarrassed. “It’s uh, a secret so...don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Jaemin winked. “Now if it was Donghyuck who caught you, and not me…”

Mark looked a bit flustered by that remark. “Don’t tell them I was here, please.” 

Jaemin cocked his head understandingly. They both knew how much of a gossip Donghyuck was, and everyone would’ve known about Mark’s secret date before he even got back to Journey.

“Thanks, dude.”

“Yeah, no problem, I won’t tell anyone. Well, I won’t keep you. Have fun on your date, dude!” Jaemin said energetically. “Let me know how it went next time we hang out.”

“Of course!” Mark high-fived him and pulled him in for a chest bump.

“See ya!” Jaemin called back.

»»»

He didn’t end up hearing how that date went. And he didn’t see Mark after that. But as Jaemin flashes back to this conversation, he realizes that Mark might have been with someone who could know something about that night. 

If Mark was on a date with someone on USB, the day before he went missing. The night he went missing, Johnny and Yuta had a party, which was mostly just USB kids. 

Someone on USB had come up with the prom theme last year. Someone in USB was on a date with Mark that summer, but Mark wanted to keep it a secret. Practically all of the USB clique was at the party that night. And the only person who might’ve seen who Mark was with on his secret date was Taeil.

He needs to find out who came with Mark to the farmer’s market that day, and why Mark wanted to keep that a secret.

“Hey, sorry,” he stands up abruptly in the middle of the conversation he hasn’t been paying attention to. “I’m just gonna go pee really quick.”

He rushes back to Taeil’s strawberry stand. Taeil finishes wrapping up strawberries for an old lady, then sees him and waved him over. “Oh, hey Jaemin! Did you want some more strawberries?” he asks.

“No, actually, uh...can I ask you a question?”

Taeil looks a bit puzzled, but doesn’t say no. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Do you know about Mark Lee? You know, my friend, uh, he went to our high school, went missing a year ago,” Jaemin starts.

“Ah, yes, he’s the boy from Journey that went missing,” Taeil nods his head. “I remember reading some news articles about him. You know, he bought some strawberries from me about a year ago before he went missing last June. Seemed like a nice kid. He’s still missing?”

“Yeah.”

“Was he a close friend?”

“Yeah, he was. Is.”

“Sorry to hear about that,” Taeil says sympathetically. “I’m sure the police are doing their best to look for him. They’ll find him soon.”

“Yeah, it’s a lot...we all miss him,” Jaemin replies sadly.

“What’s on your mind? Why are you asking me about him?” Taeil asks Jaemin.

“I was actually going to ask you, uh, I know this was like over a year ago, but do you remember when I came here to get strawberries with my friends, Yeri and Donghyuck? You know, my friend who had dyed his hair dirty blonde with pink streaks.”

“Oh, yes, that friend!” Taeil laughs. “He certainly knows how to make an impression.”

“Yeah, that day! I saw Mark here, he was buying strawberries from your stand, I think? You were talking to him? Do you remember anything about that conversation? About if he was on a date, or anything?”

Taeil still looks puzzled but shakes his head empathetically. “I’m not sure I can remember that, Jaemin. That was over a year ago, right? Hmmm, I think he did mention he was here on a date.”

“Did you happen to see his date?” Jaemin asks hopefully.

“No, I didn’t, unfortunately,” Taeil replies, and Jaemin’s heart sinks. “But, he did mention something about buying strawberries for someone, I think. They were also going to a party, maybe? I think he talked about seeing a friend before a party.”

It’s like electricity running through his brain. That’s a confirmed connection.

“A party?” Jaemin asks innocently. “Do you know what kind?”

Taeil shrugs. “No idea, sorry, you’re really asking the wrong person, I’m definitely older than I was back in high school,” he jokes. “But he did mention the strawberries were for his friend...what was his name? I remembered it sounded Korean, I think.”

 _His_ name?

“Sorry, it was a boy’s name?” Jaemin asks.

Taeil scrunches his eyebrows and frowns a bit. “Well, I think? Again, it was over a year ago, but I think it was a boy’s name, that’s who he was buying the strawberries for? Sorry, I can’t really remember it that well.”

“Oh.”

“Why’d you ask?” Taeil says.

“Oh, uh...no reason, just wanted to know who he was on a date with, that’s all,” Jaemin says. Well, it’s not a total lie. He wants to know who Mark was on a date with last summer. Especially because he’d kept that secret so long for Mark. “I just remembered now that he promised he’d tell me next time I saw him and, well...you know.”

Taeil hums warmly in response. “Ah, I see. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of much help, but hopefully you find out one day, when they end up figuring out where your friend went.” 

“Thanks, Taeil.”

“No problem, Jaemin! Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah, sorry to bother you about that.”

Taeil waves his hand. “Don’t worry about it.”

Jaemin leaves the B.A. Bleeker stand to head back to the tables but runs into Renjun, who’s looking at him with a bit of a skeptical expression.

“You okay? It took you a long time to go pee. I went to go look for you to tell you that we’re leaving soon,” Renjun says. “Don’t worry though, you can eat in my car on the way back to Journey.”

“Actually…”

Is Jaemin okay? He feels like his head is spinning from all the questions he has, and he doesn’t know how to feel. With every new bit of information he gets, there’s another piece to the puzzle that he can solve. 

But it’s not a puzzle, it’s an endless series of doors and keys, because he feels like every time he finds the key to unlock a door, ten more appear beside it, and he doesn’t know which one is the right one.

It’s overwhelming. What was Mark buying strawberries for? Who was Mark seeing the day before he went missing? Why is everything becoming more complicated? It frustrates Jaemin, makes him wonder why he feels like this is nothing more than an elaborate game of cat and mouse, and the cat is just toying with them before she kills and eats them all.

“...I don’t know if I’m okay,” Jaemin admits.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Renjun asks him.

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now, we can talk about it later,” Jaemin says. He’s irritated, the way Renjun always has to know what’s wrong, what’s bugging them. Sometimes he wishes that Renjun didn’t care as much, didn’t always have to read the situation as if there was something amiss.

But maybe a little part of him is always so grateful Renjun does care that much.

“Jaemin–”

“No, come on, we have to get back to Journey, me and Haseul have to get the food ready for our parent’s anniversary. You’re right, we should go,” Jaemin states irritably, starting to head back to the tables.

Suddenly he’s forced to stay because Renjun grabs his wrist, and when he looks back Renjun meets his gaze straight in the eye.

At that moment, Jaemin’s heart leaps. Amongst the hustle and bustle of the farmer’s market, of guitars strumming, chocolate melting, people talking, vendors shouting, his heart is leaping. Everything becomes white noise as Renjun’s grip stays firm around his wrist. It feels electric to the touch, his hold around him crackling sparks across Jaemin’s entire body. He doesn’t know why he reacts so strongly to Renjun’s grasp, he’s seen this cliche played out so many times in the K-dramas he’s watched with Haseul.

In that window of time, the universe fades away and it’s just him and Renjun. The whole world and yet nothing more stands right in front of him, staring back with intense eyes, grabbing onto his wrist tightly.

“Jaemin,” Renjun says firmly, hazel eyes locked straight onto him, the way he pronounces his words burning into Jaemin’s chest, “you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

His heart skips. Because no, there are some things he can’t talk about with Renjun. “I’m aware,” Jaemin says. “You don’t have to give me the whole speech like you did with Jeno in the car, I’m not going through anything like that. I just don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Why?”

“It’s...there’s just a lot I have to consider, Injunnie.”

Renjun frowns. “Like what?”

 _Like you_ , Jaemin thinks to himself.

“I just...I don’t really know how to feel right now,” Jaemin says carefully. “I can’t stop thinking about Mark, and what happened, and why this is only happening to us,” he tells a white lie. It’s true, he can’t stop thinking about it, but he won’t say why. He doesn’t know how to feel about anything. About anyone, including himself.

Renjun tilts his head a bit, his gaze softening a bit. “Yeah, I get that. This is really messed up, isn’t it?” he replies. “It’s funny, first Jeno comes knocking on my doorstep this morning out of nowhere, then you–”

“Wait, Jeno?” Jaemin says. Why does he feel a green pang of envy spring inside his chest? Why does he feel so envious, left out that Renjun saw Jeno, not him? “Jeno was at your house this morning? Why? How?”

Renjun lets go of his wrist, and the farmer’s market comes back into focus, everything immediately returning back to place. The melodies continue playing, the fresh fruit gets picking, the vendors keep cooking, the patrons continue walking, the world keeps moving. 

But the green feeling doesn’t go away.

“I just don’t want to talk about it right now,” Renjun smirks.

“Hey, wait a minute, just because I said that–”

“We can talk about it later. After you tell me why you were talking to Taeil Moon over at the B.A. Bleeker stand,” Renjun says knowingly.

It catches Jaemin off guard, how Renjun has probably been watching him this whole time and Jaemin hadn’t even realized it. Renjun’s always been observant, aware. Whereas Jaemin fixes on details and the small meanings of words and expressions, Renjun always looks at the whole as the sum of its parts.

Sometimes Jaemin feels like the way Renjun thinks, how he looks at the world, is a missing piece of himself that Renjun completes. A missing puzzle piece, a dot he has yet to connect. 

But he’s very reluctant to connect that dot, to finish the puzzle.

He nods his head in response. “Okay, fine. We’ll talk about this later. Obviously not in the car, and I can’t do it tonight, because I’m making dinner with Haseul for my dads, but tomorrow?”

“Can’t,” Renjun replies. “I’m meeting up with some Chinese club friends tomorrow.”

“Day after?” Jaemin asks.

“Yeah, we can do the day after,” Renjun smiles. “Let’s make it a whole day thing. I think both you and Jeno will have some explaining to do.”

“Doesn’t Jeno have to go to his internship though?”

Renjun ponders this for a bit. “Dinner in Santa Cruz then?”

“Yeah, we can just hang out with Yeri in Santa Cruz that day while Jeno works at his internship,” Jaemin says. “Actually, I think it’d be fun if we all went and dropped Jeno off at his internship, it’d be nice to see where he actually works.”

“So that’s just code for teasing him on the way to work and making fun of his ‘crush’ on Jihyo,” Renjun grins mischievously, the operative word in air-quotes.

Oh, if only Renjun knew how much of a crush he has on him.

Jaemin ignores that thought and gives Renjun an amused smirk instead. “Basically.”

***

An hour later, Renjun drops him and Haseul off at their house. While Jaemin puts the groceries in the fridge, Haseul goes to check the mail. 

Just when he’s about done putting the mangoes in the fruit drawer, Haseul calls for him over and tells him he’s got a letter. He’s definitely more than a bit surprised when he sees a letter for him, from–

“UC Davis?” Jaemin looks at the envelope, a bit perplexed. “The farming UC?”

“It’s up near Sac, and yeah, they have an agriculture school, among others,” Haseul responds. “Although it’s a bit early for colleges to be sending you mail advertising their schools. But hey, I guess they’re getting earlier each year,” she shrugs. “I got them almost every day during junior and senior year.”

“Huh.” Jaemin is a bit suspicious.

“You gonna open it?”

“Yeah, later. Hey, I’m gonna go look up more about this place on my laptop really quick,” Jaemin lies. “See what the school is all about and everything. Can you start prepping everything for cooking?”

“Okay, but we’re going to actually start cooking in twenty minutes!” Haseul says. “Don’t forget, we have to start making the food soon so it’s ready by the time Dad gets back home!” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jaemin calls back absentmindedly as he walks towards his room.

Something is wrong, because Jaemin knows you only start getting this kind of paper mail after you get your AP scores. It’s still June, and Jaemin hasn’t gotten any email about his Psychology and European History AP tests being graded.

This feels extremely similar to what happened to Jeno at his internship. Except now Jaemin is even more confused, because how would a mystery girl even know Jaemin, and also know where he lives? 

Jeno, he could understand – he’s Mark’s brother. He’d been briefly mentioned in the news articles and press releases about Mark going missing, noted as a “younger brother”. There was a connection there that anyone with a TV set or Internet access could make. 

But Jaemin? You’d have to know more than a couple articles and a press release about Mark’s disappearance. You’d have to live in Journey to know who exactly was friends with Mark.

And if the mystery girl wasn’t anyone they knew in Journey, then how would she know that Jaemin was one of Mark’s closest friends?

So was this the mystery girl’s work? 

Or was it someone else? 

Irene? 

The boy Mark had supposedly gotten strawberries for? 

His secret date from USB?

Deciding to stop fixating on the _who_ and _why_ and more on the _what_ , he uses a letter opener to see what’s inside. What is it going to be? A check Mark had cashed to Irene? A letter from Irene threatening him and his friends? A grocery store list? A cryptic cypher from the mystery girl he’d have to decode? An elaborate prank pulled by Yeri, Jeno and Renjun to scare him or something?

It’s not any of those. Instead, it looks like folded up lined paper with writing on it.

Intrigued, Jaemin thinks it’s a letter Irene or Mark may have written to each other. He takes it out and unfolds it. 

His chest becomes uncomfortably tight.

It’s not a letter. It’s a journal entry. Taped to the back of it are two business cards for Taeil Moon. One for the Strawberry Farmer of B.A. Bleeker Farms, and one for the Marketing Office Administrator of Kim-Moon Group Ltd.

Whoever sent this had torn it out of the original binding of a journal. Jaemin didn’t even know Mark had a journal. But he can tell by the handwriting and the contents of the journal entry.

_June 20th_

_I went to the farmer’s market today with her. Got some strawberries from Taeil, she recommended them to me. But also because I know both he and Joy really like these strawberries, Joy wouldn’t stop talking about them when we bought some for the chocolate fountain at prom this year._

This feels wrong and invasive. It’s an entry from Mark’s journal. It’s not meant for anyone but Mark to read, and Jaemin feels like this is a massive invasion of privacy.

And yet it provides dots that connect.

It sounds like Mark was not on a date with a guy, like Taeil had thought. Now it makes sense why Mark didn’t want anyone to know. It sounded like he was on a date with Jaehyun’s girlfriend. Who had been on the USB Prom Committee. But why? What was Mark doing with Joy the day before he went missing, if he knew Jaehyun was dating her? And who is “he”?

It feels so wrong but he needs to keep reading Mark’s writing. He needs to figure this out.

_I’m not sure if I’m going to go through with this, to be honest. When I ran into Jaemin at the farmer’s market, and he told me about how he was hanging out with Hyuck and Yeri, it made me feel like I was doing something wrong. It’s pretty rash and irrational, doing this, keeping it all a secret, and you’re scared to tell anyone about it._

_I don’t know man, there’s something different about them. They don’t have baggage like I do. I trust them, a lot. I’ve known them since middle school P.E. and I know they’ll always support me no matter what. And if I come back, they'll have my back._

His heart threatens to burst out of his chest, he hears its beating ringing in his ears.

From the way Jaemin is interpreting it, it sounds like Mark had “baggage” and history that would’ve prevented them from being friends with him, if they knew everything about his personal life. But why? What baggage did he have?

_I mean, I know that they do too. About this whole thing. And it’s going to end soon. I figured out who Simon is._

Simon. 

Jaemin’s chest tightens uncomfortably.

Who is Simon? Why did Mark have to figure out who Simon is? What did he mean, the “thing” and the “end”?

_I might have to talk to Yeri more, about what to do about Donghyuck. Honestly, I feel so conflicted right now. I’ve talked with her about it, a couple of times. But if I’m going to meet Simon, then I think it’s time to also be honest with Donghyuck. It’s going to suck. But I have to do this. If I’m really going to leave everything behind, I have to put him behind me too._

Do what? What did Yeri know about Donghyuck? What did this have to do with Donghyuck? What did Mark have to confront Donghyuck about? What did Yeri have to talk about with Mark? 

Jaemin’s mind is racing. There’s too many possible connections and not enough actual proof. That day at the farmer’s market last year keeps replaying in his head, the conversation on an endless loop as he tries dissecting every possible moment and gleam of information. What does it all mean?

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes, if there’s supposed to be an answer in this journal entry, he genuinely doesn’t know.

_Sometimes I feel like I really screwed up everything. And it sucks, feeling trapped in a corner. Like you’re the bad guy. But I get it. I made mistakes and there’s only so much apologies can do. Mistakes affect other people I guess, not just yourself._

_But holy shit, this whole thing is so messed up. I might deserve this, but I’m not going down without a fight. I deserve to know the truth about Simon before the end, at least._

The journal entry stops there.

What?

What did Mark do?

Why did he feel trapped?

What?

Why?

How?

Did Yeri know about this?

What did Mark screw up?

Who is Simon?

How did any of this connect back to Mark?

How did any of this connect back to them?

Jaemin’s mind is spinning, overwhelmed with questions and no answers to them. But he feels a huge, huge sense of betrayal, panging in his chest and sending a shudder down his spine.

Because Yeri has known something this entire time, and didn’t tell them. 

She's known something about Donghyuck and Mark, and she’d talked about it with Mark before he had gone missing, and she didn’t tell them.

* * *

“Okay. I won’t promise. I’ll just try to be safe.”

Mark ended the call with Irene, and then looked outside. They were here, parked in the driveway, waiting for him.

“Well, it’s time,” he said to himself out loud in his empty house.

It was hard, knowing this was probably the last time he was going to be home a while. To walk out the front door and not know if he would be able to go back to before. But he had to do this. He had to get out.

He went upstairs, grabbed the duffel bag he had kept hidden under his bed, grabbed his backpack, thermos, and an envelope of cash, headed back downstairs, and took the strawberries out of the fridge.

He had everything he needed. There was no more procrastinating. No more waiting for the moment. No more second guessing himself.

This was it.

Mark turned off the entryway lights, walked outside, locked the front door, and got in the backseat of the car.

“Hey, thanks for coming, guys,” he said as he stepped inside, throwing his things in the seat next to him. “Sorry, can I roll up the windows? It’s actually kind of cold tonight.”

“Go for it.”

“Thanks,” Mark said, shivering slightly at the chilly breeze that had just run through the air. He put his hands in the front pocket of his Vans sweatshirt. “And thanks, you guys. Not just for that, but for helping me and everything.”

“Of course dude. And we’re here for you, you know,” she told him. “We get it, you need our help, and it’s not like Lucas or Yeri would be the best people to ask, given the situation you’ve got yourself in.”

“Seriously, thanks, you guys,” Mark repeated. “I don’t have a lot of people I can actually trust, and I’m so grateful I know you two can help me.”

“Well, we do owe you,” he replied from the driver’s seat. “Although, I think this goes way past returning the favor for letting us have the prom afterparty at your house.”

Mark’s mind made a flashback to that night, when it was just him and his friends watching _10 Things I Hate About You_ while USB had gone to prom, and then Taeyong and Johnny had thrown the afterparty at their house. 

Mark missed those simpler times.

“Yeah. But you guys get it.”

They both nod. “We do,” he said. “And trust me, Mark, we’re gonna help you get out of whatever mess this is you’ve got yourself in.”

“So, Mark, what do you need us to do tonight?” she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _End of Act II_  
>  Act III: Begins in a cozy coffee shop. There may or may not be a wait.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_bues)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)  
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	8. The Weight of Waits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun remains behind, waiting for Yeri to come.

**Act III**

Renjun thinks that coffee shops are overrated.

It’s just something about people being loud, and how you can hear obnoxious conversations. He doesn’t know what exactly bothers him, but he believes they’re over-idealized as habitual places of gathering. He much prefers the quiet space of public libraries and their orderly meeting rooms.

However, a coffee shop is much more accommodating and spacious for their monthly Chinese club summer meetups, and Kun being on good terms with the manager of Cat’s Corner definitely helps with the logistics of having twenty-one kids in the same place. 

Sicheng isn’t here this morning. It seems a little too fishy, since he’s the one he has to ask about “J”. He had texted Dejun about it, and he said that Sicheng was hanging out with him and Kunhang today, but it still seems suspicious.

“Hey, do you guys know if Sicheng is coming today?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“No, I don’t think so,” Yangyang replies. “I think him, Kunhang and Dejun are hanging out before he has to go to dance practice? Or something like that, you know how busy he is.”

Currently he’s sitting with Yuqi, Chenle, Yangyang, Elkie, and Tzuyu, the four of them asking Elkie and Tzuyu about what it’s like being seniors, if they’re going to apply early decision to any schools, how to prep for the SATs, what classes to take, the latest boba drinks they all like. Renjun snacks on a chocolate croissant as he listens intently to the conversation.

Kun comes over with all their drinks on one of the saucers. 

“Alright, here we go!” Kun says as he starts reciting their orders and hands them their drinks. “One white mocha for Yuqi, one Phrenic for Chenle, one chamomille for Tzuyu, one earl grey coffee for Yangyang, one milk tea for Elkie, and one Magician’s Hat for Renjun!”

Renjun sighs tiredly. “Seriously, just call it the M.H. I already told you Magician’s Hat is never going to catch on. Too much of a mouthful.”

“But–”

“Yes, I know, I know, you came up with the name for your drink,” Renjun says in Chinese. “But still, come on Kun-ge. Everyone agrees that M.H. is more catchy than Magician’s Hat.”

“He’s right,” Yangyang nods in agreement. “You made your own drink for a coffee shop, that’s already super impressive for a high school senior to do. Everyone here admires you for that already. Just admit that your name for it sucks ass.”

“And plus, you know that M.H. is a catchier name,” Chenle adds.

Kun looks at them, and seeing their expectant expressions, he lets out a resigned sigh. “Alright, fine. Everyone else can call it the M.H. But it’ll always be the Magician’s Hat in my heart,” Kun beams excitedly at them. “I have to get back to the counter, but enjoy your drinks!”

They wave back at him. “Thanks, Kun!” they all say in unison.

The conversation goes back to Tzuyu and Elkie applying to college. Renjun sips on his Magician’s Hat, a mystical blend of sweet cream, three espresso shots, and a “magician’s secret” (Renjun is certain it’s just cinnamon, cardamom, or some other spice) that Kun puts in the M.H. For Renjun, the drink reminds him of Japanese tiramisu. 

Indeed, Kun was very proud when he came up with the M.H. last summer – so much so that he thinks the reason he got into UCLA is because he wrote about it with such passion for one of his college essays.

College scares Renjun. Then again, a lot of things this summer scare him.

He thinks about what’s happened so far – Jeno getting a note, Jeno showing up at his doorstep yesterday morning, Jaemin acting weird at the farmer’s market, Yeri calling him this morning, urgently insisting she see him today (he’s sticking around to wait for her at Cat’s Corner after their Chinese club meeting ends). And who the common thread seems to be in all this mess.

Mark. 

Renjun supposes the reason that college scares him is because Mark never even got a chance. He knows Mark had dreams of being a music producer, or working for a music company or label in the future. He wanted to attend Eastman, or Berklee. Maybe move to LA, and try becoming a producer down there. 

And it scares Renjun, that those dreams will just stay dreams. Not failed dreams, not realized dreams, just dreams. Renjun has his whole future ahead of him, but so had Mark, and then he’d disappeared. And the idea that your entire life can just dissipate and fall apart like that, it’s terrifying to think about.

His mind goes back to yesterday morning and the night before that, to things that do seem certain to him, seem like fixed events. Sitting in the passenger seat as Yeri drove them back home from Silver Pond, talking about grape ice cream. Talking to Jeno about the path he discovered behind the hedge on Cornelia Street.

And then Jaemin, who had smelled like strawberries and croissants, and he’d grabbed onto Jaemin’s wrist before he could get away, and it felt like butterflies in his stomach. Those feel like certainties, like fixed events, and for some reason it gives him comfort, knowing that he will have those three.

But then again, he thought Mark was a certainty in his life too.

Renjun sighs tiredly, the caffeine in his M.H. failing to energize him. Tzuyu notices this and glances over at him. The conversation dies down, so she takes this moment to check in with him. “Feeling tired, Renjun?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah,” Renjun says, snapping out of his thoughts and coming back to the coffee shop conversation. “Sorry, just tired, I have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” Yuqi asks.

“I don’t know...I think I’m just feeling stressed today,” Renjun says noncommittally. “All this talk about college, I guess I’m just worried about the future and stuff.” 

“Ah, sorry,” Elkie says sympathetically. “I get that, it’s a lot to think about, don’t get too wrapped up on it. We can talk about something else if you want!”

He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” He forces himself to smile, to dissuade them from worrying. “It’s really nice hanging out with you guys here. It helps me feel less stressed.”

Tzuyu only hums along in tacit agreement, not pressing further. Instead, Chenle brings up how Elkie always orders milk tea, and then the conversation returns to boba, and Renjun is happy to listen and participate when he feels like it.

The cafe starts to clear out as their Chinese club meeting ends, and Renjun remains behind, waiting for Yeri to come. He gets bored on scrolling through his phone and gets up to pick out something to read from the bookshelf to pass by the time. Probably something dense – he’s always been a fast reader, and he’d rather not find something he can finish quickly before Yeri gets here. 

By extension of this logic, he picks _Lord of the Flies_. They had read it last semester in English class, but he figures that re-reading the first seventy or so pages again for plot (instead of aggressively looking for allegory, symbolism, and themes) would prove to be much more fun.

“Renjun?”

Renjun looks up from the seventy-seventh page and sees Yeri walk in.

“Hey, Yeri,” he says as he gets up and hugs her.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?” Yeri asks.

Renjun looks at her puzzledly. “We can’t talk here?”

“Sorry, just...not right now.”

He’s a bit confused, wondering why she hadn’t just texted him to meet her outside. “Uh, sure, okay. Do you want anything, or?”

“No, it’s okay, I’m not really in the mood for anything right now,” Yeri says quickly. “Come on.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah.”

He places _Lord of the Flies_ back on Cat’s Corner’s bookshelf as they walk out of the coffee shop to Yeri’s car. They get in, Yeri turns on the ignition as he hops into the passenger seat, but she doesn’t say anything. It’s quiet. She drives off for a bit in silence, until they’re parked in a random parking lot that’s near the peach grove trail, and then she stops the car. Renjun isn’t sure what to say, or why Yeri’s been acting so hasty and strange.

Of course, he has a feeling that it might have something to do with what preoccupied his mind earlier today. It seems like they can’t hang out this summer and just talk about regular things.

It always comes back to Mark.

“Yeri, what’s wrong?”

She looks shaken.

“What, is this boy trouble or something?” he tries joking. 

She still stays quiet.

“Yeri?”

She looks him in the eyes, and Renjun can see the fear in them.

“Yeri, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

Yeri opens her glove compartment and takes out a manila package. Her body trembles as she hands it over to him.

“Yeri, what…”

“I got it in the mail yesterday.”

_Oh no._

He understands.

What happened to Jeno. It had happened to her.

She starts shaking badly, a single tear falling down her face, and Renjun hugs her, letting her cry into his shoulder as he rubs her back softly. It feels strangely familiar, similar to what he did with Jeno when they were all in her car a couple days ago. First Jeno, now her.

Renjun gets a sick feeling in his stomach that Jaemin is next.

He should’ve known. He should’ve known this would happen when he had checked.

“Yeri, what is it? What’s inside?” he whispers.

She pulls away from him, wiping tears from her eyes and takes the contents out. Renjun examines them curiously. There’s a Nintendo DS with a Vancouver sticker. Mark’s. He opens it – the Monterey Bay Aquarium ticket is in there. Also Mark’s.

He realizes that someone had taken it from where they’d left it, but...where had it been the past year? He’d gone to check before but it wasn’t there, so who found it?

There’s also a grey Vans sweatshirt – again, he knows it belongs to Mark. And, finally, there’s a postcard from Los Angeles, similar to the one Jeno had gotten. A Pokemon HeartGold cartridge is taped to it. He looks to see what’s written on it.

**BAD BAD BOY’S, SHINY TOY WITH A PRICE, I KNOW THAT YOU BOUGHT IT**

“When did you get this?” he asks.

“Two nights ago, after we came home from Silver Pond,” Yeri replies quietly. 

“More clues, huh,” he says dryly. “Guess this just keeps getting stranger the deeper we get into this mess. First Jeno–”

“Jeno?” she says. “What–what happened to Jeno?”

“No, no, nothing, nothing,” he says. “It’s nothing, just...we can talk about it tomorrow, when we all go to Santa Cruz.”

She looks down at the package and its contents that sit in his lap. “I...I didn’t know what to do with this. I’m so scared, Renjun. I’m so scared. Why did I get this? What does any of this mean?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun replies. “But this happened to Jeno, right? It’s the same thing. We just have to figure out what all this stuff means now. Maybe it’ll help us figure out who on the Prom Committee is involved?”

Yeri shakes her head. “It’s not just that. It’s...there’s something else.”

The last time this happened, there had been a text. But Jeno hadn’t mentioned anything yesterday about receiving a mysterious text, only seeing the mystery girl. What was different this time?

“What happened this time? Did you get another text?” Renjun asks.

She nods and pulls her phone out, then shows her a text.

**Unknown Number** : _Simon says he knows what game Mark’s four friends are playing._

Renjun immediately senses something wrong pooling in his stomach.

“I got it when I got the package,” Yeri says shakily, shivering anxiously. “I...I got scared, Renjun. The DS? The text? It’s a threat. It’s...I think this is all a game for someone.”

Something isn’t quite right.

It’s the anger. Anger that someone is fucking with them and this is more than some unsolvable mystery, of finding out what happened to Mark. That this is some sick, twisted game that someone is playing, and he has no idea why they’ve been chosen, or what game they’re playing, but Renjun never asked for this. Renjun never asked to play this stupid, cruel game.

He should’ve never gone to check.

“What the fuck.”

“What?”

“Fuck this,” he says angrily. “Fuck all of this.”

Yeri flinches, not expecting Renjun’s reaction. She looks at him with scared eyes.

“Is this a game? Is that what this all is?” he spits out, feeling rage build up in him. “This...what the hell is this?! Yeri, what the hell?!”

“Renjun–”

“What the hell is this, Yeri?” he almost shouts at her. “What the hell does any of this mean? Why?! Why us? Why not give all of this to the police?!”

“I...I don’t know.”

“Yeri, do you realize what this is? This is evidence! Incriminating evidence!”

“I...I know.”

“No, Yeri, you don’t!” he says frustratedly. “Do you realize what happens now that we have this? If the police catch us with this stuff, we’re going to look guilty! Like we’re the ones who did something to him! Why us, Yeri?” He smacks his hands on the dashboard. “Fuck, why is this happening to us?!”

“I think I know why.” 

He looks at her, feeling upset and confused. “Why, because we were Mark’s friends? So what?! Whoever sent this to you could’ve tipped off the police that you have this, and if they find our fingerprints on this stuff then it’s all over! Do you know how bad this looks?!”

“Renjun…”

“Yeri, what don’t you understand!?! We could go to jail for Mark’s–”

“I know what Mark was doing that night, Renjun.”

Renjun’s words die in his mouth.

“What?”

“The night he disappeared.”

Suddenly, the world turns cold as he feels his breath curdle.

“What?” he says quietly, the anger draining out of him, seeping back into the source of it all – the fear drummed up in his stomach. The fear of the future. “What the hell are you talking about, Yeri?”

“Renjun...Mark was planning on doing something that night.”

His heart beats loudly as it rings in his ears.

“What?” he says barely above a whisper, suddenly aware of how small Yeri’s car is.

“I...I haven’t been completely honest with you guys,” Yeri replies, equally as quiet.

“What...what do you mean?”

“Renjun...there’s something you need to know. Something I’ve never told anyone about that summer. About Mark.”

«««

“You’ve been missing a lot this summer, Mark. Why are you so busy?” she asked him. “Don’t tell me you’re starting your summer assignments early already. It’s only going to be our junior year next year.”

Mark sighed. “I just...you know how it is, Yeri...there’s just been a lot on my mind lately.”

“Like what? Is it about...”

“I don’t know. I think I’m just stressed,” he said a bit defeatedly, “worried about the future and stuff. But don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He turned to glance at Yeri, a smile on his face, but it only seemed there to placate her from worrying about him and Donghyuck. “It was nice, today. It was really nice to hang out with you guys and relax and go to the beach. I had a lot of fun. Let’s do it more often.”

She only hummed along in agreement. She didn’t want to push it.

They continued driving in the quiet of the night. 

The song changed and ‘Cruel Summer’ by Bananarama began playing. Yeri found it funny, since Mark had just called all of this a cruel summer. Although honestly, she couldn’t blame him, knowing how much messier things with Donghyuck had become.

Five minutes later, Mark’s phone went off – he opened it, read the text message, and then typed back to the sender.

“Who’s that?”

“Donghyuck.” It didn’t sound totally true, but she let it pass. Mark was going through a lot.

“Are you going to meet him tonight?” she tried asking. “To talk to him.”

“Yeri–”

“Mark, you need to talk to him about this,” Yeri said. “I know you want to pretend everything will be fine, but it’s not, Mark.”

Mark sighed frustratedly, leaning his head into the side of his hand. “You make it sound like I want to break up with him again.”

“Then if you don’t want to break up with him again, why are you doing this?” she said tensely. “Why are you planning to break up with him if you still love him?”

Mark sighed again. “Because he lied to me.”

“Well...there you go.”

“But...I don’t know, I can’t...I can’t just let things end like this,” Mark said, head hanging low as he stared outside the car window. “But...I also know that I can’t…I don’t think I can ever trust him again. This is like...it’s almost like he’s cheated on me.”

“That sounds a bit dramatic, but…” Yeri paused. “I can’t disagree with you. If he had done that to Doyoung or Jennie, I would have a hard time forgiving him too. I don’t even know if I would be able to forgive him.”

Mark didn’t respond to that.

Yeri turned left and turned the volume down. “Mark, I know it’s hard for you, breaking up with him again, especially after everything you guys have been through…”

“Yeah.”

“I know how much you love him. I really do. But you love Taeyong too, right?”

“I know,” Mark said dejectedly, sounding even more upset. “I know, Yeri. It’s just...it sucks, ending things, for good, over this. I still can’t believe that he did...it’s just, Yeri, I thought...I thought this would work out.”

“I know,” she nodded empathetically. “You guys have been through so much, having kept your relationship a secret. I know how much you love Donghyuck.”

“Well, not everyone. I didn’t keep this from you.”

“Because I’m your secret keeper,” she winked at him, trying to lighten the mood. But the _Harry Potter_ reference failed to lift Mark’s spirits. It seemed like a dark gloom had settled over him and wouldn’t let up until the morning came, to release the quiet of the night.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” she said glumly, Mark’s dejected mood starting to rub off on her. “I’m sorry you have to go through this. I know you’re breaking up with him for good, and I know why you’re ending things for good, but I wish...I wish you didn’t have to.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Mark shook his head in disagreement. “None of this is your fault, Yeri. I’m the one who’s in a relationship with him. I’m the one who wanted to keep this all a secret. I’m the one who got back together with him, and now I’m the one who wants to break up with him. None of this is your fault.”

“I know, but...I’m still here for you, when you need it,” Yeri said.

“I know,” Mark replied. “And that’s why I can trust you to keep one more secret.” 

She looked at him apprehensively. “And what’s that?”

“You were right. I am planning to go see him tonight. Tonight’s the night I was planning to tell him in person that we’re breaking up.”

“Oh.”

“For good.”

Yeri turned to look at Mark, staring at him in the eye to see if he was lying. But he wasn’t. There was no hesitance, no beadiness, no uncertainty – Mark was going to break up with Donghyuck tonight.

“Are you sure...about doing it tonight? You don’t have to–”

“Yeah. I have to,” Mark affirmed. “I can’t keep doing this all summer. Tonight’s the only night I’ll have to do this.”

“What do you mean? You have the rest of summer. You don’t have to do it tonight.”

“Just...I just know that I have to do this tonight,” Mark said firmly.

Mark’s phone went off again – it was another text message. They stopped at the final light before they turned onto Mark’s street. She knew she shouldn’t have, but she couldn’t help it – Yeri snuck a glance at Mark’s phone, to see what he was texting Donghyuck.

Instead of seeing a text conversation with Donghyuck, she saw that Mark was texting someone else. She didn’t see the contact name. 

Yeri didn’t question it. She didn’t want Mark to think she was snooping around. She wouldn’t like it if Mark looked over her shoulder to see who she was texting – it always annoyed her whenever Doyoung did that.

She turned the volume back up. The previous song had ended, and now ‘The Working Hour’ by Tears for Fears began to play.

The light turned green, Yeri made a left turn, and she decided to just continue with the topic of conversation. “Well, no matter what happens tonight, tell me about what happens, okay?”

Mark nodded. “I will. At Cat’s Corner.”

“Yeah, I’ll wait to talk with you about it then. Until then, I’ll give you some space.”

“Thanks, Yeri. For not telling anyone about this.”

She nodded her head. “It’s okay, Mark. You know you can always trust me, right?”

Mark smiled appreciatively at that. “Yeah, I know.”

“Because why?”

“Because you’re my friend,” Mark said as he pulled his grey Vans sweatshirt over his head, his hair still a bit damp and salty from the beach. It smelled nostalgic.

They finally pulled up into his driveway, and Yeri leaned over to give Mark a hug goodbye.

“Mark?” Yeri said as he opened the door to get out.

He turned to look back at her. “Yeah?”

“Don’t do anything you’re going to regret.”

A tight smile formed on his lips. “I won’t. Promise.”

“I missed you.”

“Missed you too.”

“See you in two days at the coffee shop?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” he called back as she pulled out of his driveway.

»»»

“Wait...they were dating?” Renjun says slowly, starting to piece all the pieces of the puzzle together. “Mark and Donghyuck were dating?”

Yeri only nodded her head.

“Oh.” It all makes sense now, why Mark was avoiding Haechan before he had disappeared that summer. Renjun just figured it was just them being dumb. 

Maybe Renjun also ignored it because he could understand. He’s been trying to ignore his feelings about Jaemin this summer. And for Renjun, it’s uncomfortable and unusual – Renjun likes to figure everything out and isn’t someone to neglect his own feelings.

He shakes his head to clear his mind. “But you said...you said that Mark was going to break up with him, that night?”

Yeri nods her head sadly. “Because Donghyuck...Donghyuck did something bad.”

“To Mark?”

“No, to...you know, about how...when he had to–”

“Wait, when…”

“Yeah, that.”

“Wait...you mean that...oh my god, he did that? He–”

“Yeah, and I shouldn’t be telling you, but that’s...that’s why he wanted to...”

“Oh.”

A bit of silence slides in between his words and her next ones.

“And I swear, I didn’t tell Mark. I would never rat Donghyuck out like that. You know how I feel about doing that to people.”

“Snitches get stitches, bitches,” he recites like it’s second nature to him.

“Exactly. So I never told anyone. But...I don’t know how, but Mark found out that it was Donghyuck, and after he had, he wanted to end things with him for good.”

“Oh...oh my god. So he was going to break up with Donghyuck because...I get it. He was the one behind the Taeyong thing.”

Yeri’s silence is enough of an answer for him.

“Oh my god, Yeri. Fuck.”

Renjun gets it. He does, why Yeri is scared. “Oh my god, is that why you’re telling me all of this? Is it because you’re scared that he…” he trails off.

Yeri doesn’t want to address the hidden implication about Haechan. Renjun sees she’s in denial. That’s why she wanted to talk to him about it. And he can understand.

After all, he’d been in denial until he saw the aquarium ticket in the DS.

“Yeri, Mark was probably lying, about texting Donghyuck. Donghyuck was with us at the movies that night, when you were driving Mark back to Journey. I was sitting next to him – he didn’t text anyone during the movie.”

“I know. And I know that Mark didn’t do it. He didn’t break up with Donghyuck that night.”

“But how–”

“Because Donghyuck would’ve called me about it, or told me,” Yeri replies. “He called me when he broke up with Heejin, and Soobin. But the day I got dinner with you guys, when we all got that text...I called him that morning. After Jeno called me and said he thought Mark was missing, I called Donghyuck and asked him if he’d seen Mark. But he said he hadn’t heard from Mark.”

“But he could’ve been lying–”

“You know how Hyuck is, Renjun,” Yeri shakes her head. “He might be petty and a bit of a diva, but you know he’s pretty open about his emotions, like you are. He would’ve been devastated if Mark had broken up with him. He hadn’t been as in love with Heejin and Soobin as he was with Mark. He would’ve said something.”

“But you don’t know that,” Renjun replies. “Yeri, that’s the thing. We thought we knew Mark. We thought we knew...we knew who our friends were. But we don’t. We didn’t know that Mark knew someone named Irene. And now, I guess someone named Simon.”

“I know, just…” Yeri sighs. “I know that someone did something to him that night. It’s the only explanation. But there’s just...I find it hard to believe that Donghyuck would do something to Mark, just because he broke up with him. And I don’t think Mark even got around to telling him they were breaking up that night.”

“Yeri.”

“I know, it’s stupid to trust him, but I don’t–”

“Yeri, listen to me,” Renjun says firmly. “Jeno thought the same thing. He thought that Mark was a nice person and that Mark told him everything. But clearly, Mark didn’t. It’s the same thing with Donghyuck. I’m...I’m sorry, Yeri. But we have to think of him like that now.”

“But–”

“It doesn’t mean that he was involved, or that he actually did something bad, Yeri. We still don’t know anything else about that night. But for now...for now, we have to think of him like we do everyone else.”

She flinches and shivers. “But I don't’ think of you that way–”

“But I’m not Haechan, I’m not Donghyuck, Yeri,” Renjun says. “I’m not...I'm not, it’s not the same, and you know it, right? Isn’t that why you’re talking to me?”

He can’t help it, he starts tearing up. Yeri only sits quietly in the driver’s seat, averts his gaze.

How they got in this mess, why they were in this mess, it’s still unclear to him. There’s so much they don’t know – he feels that there’s so much they’re being kept in the dark about. What does this all mean? 

Did Haechan do something bad to Mark that night? Is that why Yeri got the aquarium ticket? But what did that have to do with them? And why did Yeri get a text from someone named Simon? Who is Simon–

Wait.

Simon.

Winko.

J.

Haechan.

Renjun calms down a bit, his mind regrouping, the sadness hinging and reworking into something else. Something less filled with how he feels and more with what he can feel out.

“Yeri...Yeri, I think Irene and Simon are fake names. Nicknames.”

She looks at him carefully as he starts to wipe his eyes. She hands him a napkin on the side of her car and he blows his nose. “What?”

“There’s no one at our school named Simon,” Renjun replies, brain starting to whirr. “No one named Simon attends Journey Pines High School, Yeri. At least, no one we know of. Just like Irene.”

Renjun tenses as his brain jumps to the conclusion before his heart can catch up to it.

Mark knew someone named Irene. Jeno had gotten a postcard Mark had sent Irene. Yeri got a postcard about the DS she had bought as a birthday gift for “bad boy”. Yeri had gotten a text from someone named Simon about a game being played. 

The pieces start to fall into place.

Neither Simon nor Irene existed at their school, let alone their town. But neither does Nana. Or Doey. Injunie. Winko. Jen. J. If those are nicknames for people, then it very well meant that Simon and Irene are nicknames for people too. Even if Doyoung had been telling the truth, that he didn’t know anyone named Irene, she might be known by a different name.

“They’re nicknames,” Renjun thinks out loud. “Yeri, can we go to the diner?”

“What?”

“Just...we need to get some food, I’m hungry, we’ve been crying, we need to eat,” Renjun furrows his eyebrows in concentration. “I think I need some food, help me think straight.”

“I...don’t get what you said, but if it helps you think, then we’ll get some food,” Yeri nods understandingly as she turns the car back on and backs out.

“Yeri...I think I’m starting to get it,” Renjun says. “I think I’m starting to get it.”

“Get what?” she says with uncertainty.

“Someone named Simon texted you, saying that he knows that we’re playing a game, right?” Renjun says. “Yeri, I think I understand. Simon probably did something that night, to Mark. If he’s texting you. Irene is also involved. They’re...they’re playing a game, Yeri. Whoever Simon and Irene are, these might be nicknames for people. And it could be, it could be that Simon is a nickname for someone we know….someone like Donghyuck.”

“But how do you know that?” Yeri says as she turns onto the road. “How do you know these aren’t real people and these aren’t their real names? Why are you so certain this is a game, like Simon says?”

“Because...well, I don’t know. But...just trust me, for now, I have a gut feeling,” Renjun responds. “I think this is what it is. Mark said Irene called him bad boy, right? That’s a nickname.”

Yeri nods her head.

“So, what if Irene and Simon are nicknames then?”

“But...I don’t understand,” Yeri says confusedly. “If Irene was a nickname, then why would Mark write to someone using their nickname instead of their real name?”

“People address each other by nicknames all the time though. Like how Mark and Jeno used to call you Katy. Or how we call Jaemin ‘Nana’ sometimes. Or Donghyuck ‘Haechan’. If you sent a postcard to Donghyuck and you started it with ‘Dear Haechan, would that feel weird to you?”

“I guess not,” she says, seeing his point. “So then...we have to figure out who Irene and Simon really are. Because they’re just different names that Mark knew them by.”

“Exactly.”

“And if you’re right then maybe...maybe Simon is Donghyuck.”

***

“Hey Yeri! Hey Renjun!” Jungwoo greets them as he comes up to their table.

“Hey, Jungpal!” Yeri smiles back.

Jungwoo looks at her confusedly. “Sorry?”

“Oh, just, you know, your nickname and all,” Yeri says, realizing that there was no reason for her to bring up Jungwoo’s nickname like that. “Sorry, I know you don’t go by that anymore, just, well, me and Renjun were talking about nicknames before we got here.”

“Ahh, I see, I see,” he nods his head. “Well, I don’t mind being called Jungpal, _Katy_ ,” he says playfully. “Anyways, what can I get you two? The usual?”

“Yep!” they both say.

“Okay, so that’s fish and chips plus a strawberry milkshake for _Katy_ , and...a ham sandwich and garlic fries for _Injunnie_?” Jungwoo smiles.

“Thanks, Jungwoo, you’re the best,” Renjun replies.

“Alright, coming right up!” he says as he heads back to the counter.

Renjun shoots Yeri a dirty look. “What?” she shrugs. “Just because we know about the nicknames doesn’t mean anyone else does.”

“I know, but still, you could just be a _bit_ more subtle, Yeri,” he replies.

“I guess.”

She pauses.

“Injunnie?”

“Yes, Katy?”

“Thank you,” Yeri smiles. “Thank you, for talking to me and helping me process...this. Whatever this is. I really needed that today.”

“No problem,” Renjun says warmly. “I know it’s...difficult, having this happen to us. I know I would be just as upset if...well, if that got delivered to me. But we’ll get through this. No matter who this is, or what happens, we’re going to find out the truth about Mark.”

And it’s true. Now, more than ever, Renjun feels emboldened and determined to find the truth. Because even though he’s scared for the future, he still wants to have one. And he’s done fucking around with the past, ready to put it behind him, and get them closure. And if the truth will let him do that, then it’s the truth they will find. Because Mark might be gone, but that didn’t mean Mark stopped being their friend.

Then both their phones go off at the same time.

Those emboldened feelings of determination dissipate as quickly as they had come aflame. Again, this feels far too familiar for Renjun’s liking.

They pick their phones up and turn on the screens. It’s not just a text message – there’s also an image attached. They open their phones and see what it is.

Yeri gasps.

Renjun looks at her with wide eyes, and then locks his phone. Yeri does the same. They both sit there quietly for a bit, not wanting to talk about the picture, not in a public place, where people have ears and no one can be trusted.

Instead, they try making small talk about something else, other things. Gossip she heard from Jennie. Him seeing both Jaemin and Jeno yesterday morning, maybe confessing how he felt about it. Maybe being honest about checking the place. 

But everything falls flat, their conversations feeling forced, dancing around what they want to talk about. Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes. But the quiet doesn’t sit quite right, to dance around it with their hands tied.

Jungwoo comes back with their food about ten minutes later. “Alright, fish and chips for the missus, and ham sandwich for the mister!” he says. 

They just nod quietly.

Jungwoo takes notice of their lack of response and finds it a bit strange. “Hey, is everything okay? Did I forget something? Oh! You like cocktail sauce, not tartar sauce, right?”

Yeri snaps out of it and looks back at him, a smile on her face. “Oh, sorry, sorry,” she replies. “Yeah, some cocktail sauce would be great. Sorry, it’s just, we both were just...thinking about something, that’s all. Thanks, Jungpal!”

“No problem, dude! Let me know if you need anything else.”

* * *

“So, Mark, what do you need us to do tonight?” Joy asked.

Mark hesitated. Technically, he did know what he needed to do tonight, and what they were going to help him with. But they didn’t. 

Because meeting with Simon tonight wasn’t exactly part of his plan. But, in the end, he felt that everything would still work out.

And if it didn’t, and he ended up hurt, or damaged, or worse, so be it. He had made his bed. Might as well lie in it. This was Mark’s decision alone. 

He wanted to stop having his mistakes affect everyone else.

“Well, let’s get some food first,” Mark replied.

“Where are we off to?” he said. “The diner, right? I know you wanted one last meal.”

 _Last meal, that sounds so ominous,_ Mark thought. It implied as if this would be the last meal he would ever have in Journey.

Well, maybe.

It might be, depending on how much of his plan would actually work tonight.

But Mark did love those burgers and fries the diner made.

“Yeah, I am kind of hungry,” Mark grinned at them, trying to lighten the mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeri thinks more about the picture she got, because it’s not pretty.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_bues)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)   
>  [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)   
>  [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	9. Eyes on the Prize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then she puts the rest of the package under her bed, and opens her phone and looks at the picture again.

_Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes_

Yeri drops off Renjun at his place and then drives home. She parks her car, takes the manila package with her, opens the front door.

Mom is home, and she greets her, asks where she's been, and she tells her about meeting Renjun, getting late lunch at the diner. She asks what the package is – she lies and says she got it from Renjun, some of his old Psych AP notes. 

Mom tells her the police station called. She feels herself getting tense.

“Why’d they call?” Yeri tries acting casual.

“They want you to go down there tomorrow for some more questioning.”

“But I’ve already told them everything I know,” Yeri weakly argues. “And I’m hanging out with Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun tomorrow.”

“I know, so can you go down there when you get back? They said the evening should work fine,” Mom says sternly. “I think complying with the police investigation is more important than hanging out with your friends, Yerim.”

“But why do they want to talk to me?”

“Oh, honey, it’s nothing to worry about,” Mom waves a hand dismissively. “It’s just Officer Jung, don’t worry, we see him all the time. He just wants to ask you a couple more questions about Mark, to help with the investigation. And he needs you to speak for the record again, most likely on Mark’s character.”

“Oh.”

_Shit._

“Have they made any progress?” she asks. “Do they know what happened to Mark?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Mom shakes her head. “When I asked Mrs. Lee about it at the conference, she sounded pretty upset that they still haven’t found anything. I think they’re trying to increase the pressure on the police to figure out what happened to poor Mark.”

“Oh...well, yeah, sure, anything I can do to help with the investigation,” she says tightly, her stomach threatening to unfurl. “I’ll go down tomorrow evening. I’m just gonna head up to my room now.”

“Come down for dinner in about an hour,” Mom calls back as she heads up the stairs.

Her room feels stale, heavy, old. She locks her door, opens her window, lets in the fresh hot breeze off a sunny summer. She goes to sit back on her bed, the manila package still in her hands. They’re shaking.

 _Breathe,_ she tells herself. In and out. Just like Jaemin taught her.

Sighing heavily, she takes the DS out, grabs one of her old chargers and plugs it in to turn it back on. Then she puts the rest of the package under her bed, and opens her phone and looks at the picture again.

**Unknown Number** : _Nothing good starts in a getaway car._

The text comes with a picture of Mark in the back of a car, wearing his grey Vans sweatshirt, talking on his phone with someone. The date in the upper right corner is 21-6.

She looks at it again. He’s in a parking lot, she can’t identify where, but she knows the car. Next to Mark in the backseat, she can see the lizard plushie. Joy had asked Yeri about giving it to someone as a gift, when she found it during a spring break trip to Japan last year.

It was a gift for Jaehyun. That’s his car. She’s sat next to that plushie before.

That’s where Mark was, that night. In Jaehyun’s car.

When Renjun asked her back in the diner if she recognized the car, or the plushie, Yeri had lied and said she didn’t. She didn’t want to say anything, because this...this was something super complicated. 

Joy is one of her closest friends, and to think that her boyfriend might have done something...that’s a lot to unpack, even for her. She’s already having a hard time thinking that Donghyuck might have done something to Mark, might be this Simon texting her. It’s even harder for her to think that Jaehyun might have done something too, and Joy might know.

All things considered, Jaehyun Jung seems like a good guy. When Jennie had called him the Troy Bolton of Journey Pines High School, she wasn’t far off. Jaehyun was a straight A student and captain of the basketball team, on top of doing the spring musical. His dad is the Officer Jung that wants to talk to her tomorrow, and his mom is a well-respected creative director for a fashion company. Jaehyun’s generally well-liked and considered very, very handsome, almost like a prince. Although it’s not a totally faithful adaptation to the trilogy (Jaehyun was going to UCLA instead of Berkeley to study business, and Joy to LMU instead of Stanford to study communications), for the most part, he’s Journey’s version of Troy Bolton.

Or so she thought.

Seeing Mark in Jaehyun’s car, with his Vans sweatshirt and damp ocean-sprayed hair from the day at the beach, makes her realize that Renjun might be right. She thought she knew who their friends were, but she really doesn’t. Because Yeri had no idea that Mark was with Officer Jung’s son that night.

She thinks back to a couple days after Mark had gone missing, when Joy walked into Cat’s Corner with Jaehyun. They got coffee, and she had talked briefly with Joy about whether they were dating, and about Mark. 

She wonders if they knew something about Mark seeing Jaehyun that night, because it doesn’t make sense. 

None of it makes sense.

Jennie had gossiped with her about seeing the two of them together at Johnny and Yuta’s party, the night Mark went missing. Lucas had also texted in their group chat about seeing them together. Which meant that they were both there that night. And there was no reason for both Jennie and Lucas to lie about that. 

But if they were at the party, Mark should have been too. Because Mark was in Jaehyun’s car that night, sometime after she had dropped him off. Yet he wasn’t at Johnny and Yuta’s party. Which meant that Mark had been with Jaehyun before he had gone to the party, but not when he got there.

And then there’s the matter of Mark on the phone.

Mark called someone that night. But who? Simon? Irene? It hadn’t been any of them. It hadn’t been Donghyuck, because they never broke up. She would have picked up if Mark had called her, and they would have said something if he had called them. So who did Mark call?

Yeri gets up, sits in her chair in front of her desk, opens up an old school notebook, and starts making a timeline. She plugs in her headphones and puts her library on shuffle. “Reward” by The Teardrop Explodes starts playing.

_June 21_

_\- around 9:00 PM, dropped Mark off at his house  
_ _\- Jennie left for J+Y’s party when I got home  
_ _\- Lucas texted in group chat about going to party  
_ _\- Mark in Jaehyun’s car  
_ _\- around 10:00 PM, J+Y’s party started  
_ _\- 10:00 PM-10:30 PM, Lucas and Jennie at party  
_ _\- Both said Joy and Jaehyun were there_

Both Lucas and Jennie had said that they’d seen Joy and Jaehyun, which meant that Jaehyun had been at that party anywhere between 10:00 PM and 10:30 PM. 

But not Mark.

Which meant that, in that window of time, from when she had dropped Mark off at his house to when Jaehyun had gotten to Johnny and Yuta’s party, somehow Mark had ended up in Jaehyun’s car, made a call to someone, and then went missing by the time Jaehyun got to the party.

Yeri doesn’t like assuming the worst in people. She’s reluctant to flat out assume that anyone is evil, or that she doesn’t know people as well as she thinks she does. And even if the picture of Mark in Jaehyun’s car is pretty damning evidence, the message keeps throwing her off.

_Nothing good starts in a getaway car._

It implies that Mark was running away. Not from Jaehyun, because according to the text, his car is Mark’s getaway. That Jaehyun was perhaps helping him get away, because practically speaking Mark couldn’t on his own. He still hadn’t obtained his license at the time – Yeri had turned sixteen that March, but Mark wouldn’t turn sixteen until that August.

But if this text is true, and Mark was in a getaway car, what was Mark trying to get away from? If it had caught him, was that why he was missing? Was that why nothing good starts in a getaway car?

It could be that this was some hint to something obscure, like devils rolling the dice and angels rolling their eyes. But Yeri doesn’t think it’s that complicated, given the picture.

Mark was trying to get away from something that night. But who or what was he trying to get away from? And why? And why did he ask Jaehyun, not her? Or Lucas or Chaeyoung, who were also sixteen and had their licenses that summer, like Yeri? And why had Jaehyun never told his father, the man in charge of Mark’s investigation?

_Maybe it’s Donghyuck_ , she thinks. Maybe Renjun was right, he was trying to get away from him, but Donghyuck wouldn’t let that happen, and he actually did do something to Mark that night.

But something else doesn’t add up.

She thinks back to what Mark told her – he was going to break up with Donghyuck that night. But looking at the timeline she made, it doesn’t make sense. Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, and Donghyuck had gone to the movies that night. Jaemin’s Dad had picked them all up and dropped them off. They had been done before 10:30 PM – Yeri knew this because Jennie had seen Donghyuck and Jeno at the party that night.

She needs to confirm something. She takes her phone out and sends a text.

_Hey, this is random. But when u went to Johnny’s party last year, did he give u and Hyuck a ride?_ : **Yeri**

She sends the text and awaits the response. In the meantime, she goes back to take the package from under her bed, removes the tape from the Pokemon HeartGold cartridge, and puts it next to Mark’s DS.

Her phone goes off. It’s two text message notifications.

**Boss Unnie** [1 min ago] : _Hey! me + Jae r gonna watch the sunset tomorrow with Jihyo, wanna come?_

 **JenJen** [1 min ago] : _hey no prob. yeah johnny gave me and hyuck a ride to his party. Why_

Jeno’s answer means that Mark was with Jaehyun in his car before the party, but he hadn’t gone to see Donghyuck before then. If he had, Jeno would have seen him, because he was at Donghyuck’s house.

Yeri breathes a sigh of relief, some of her fears slightly allayed. She had been correct in her assumptions. Mark hadn’t seen Donghyuck that night to break up with him, and Donghyuck was with Johnny and Jeno in that window of time. So they hadn’t seen each other.

_No reason. Just curious! Thx_ 😄 : **Yeri**

She doesn’t know how to feel about Joy right now. Conflicted, she decides to use the guys as an excuse – it’s not a lie.

_Sorry got plans with the boys tomorrow_ 😞 _next time!_ : **Yeri**

She doesn’t know what she’s going to do when she has to hang out with Joy plus Seulgi and Wendy next weekend.

Jeno texts her back about meeting up tomorrow morning, something about how his boss had just told him he didn’t have to go into the office that day, and he could work from home – she ignores them and focuses on her timeline.

If Mark was with Jaehyun that night, but was missing by the time he got to Johnny and Yuta’s party, then what happened? If he hadn’t gone to Donghyuck’s house to break up with him, then where did he go? What happened in that window of time that caused Mark to disappear?

If he had been getting away from something or someone, why? 

And if he had gotten away, then why hadn’t he come back?

Did he get away? Or did he get caught?

But by what?

Or who?

Irene?

Simon?

And who was he calling?

Yeri hits a dead end. She doesn’t know what to do with all this information about that night. Whatever Mark had been up to that night, somehow Jaehyun (and possibly Joy, if she knew) was involved. And she had to figure out how they were connected. Because she still has Mark’s sweater from that night, now with splatters of blood. And if the police find that in her possession, it’s all over.

But right now, she’s at a dead end, and she’s got no choice but to wait until she talks about this with Jaemin and Renjun. 

_Wait, why not Jeno?_ She thinks to herself.

 _Because you never told Jeno_ , Yeri answers for herself.

She wonders how Jeno will react when she tells him about Mark and Donghyuck. She and Renjun had agreed that it’s something they’ll eventually tell him. But if Jeno already feels upset that Mark didn’t tell him everything, how much more hurt would he be that she’s known a secret this big about Mark, but she never told him about it for this long?

Yeri sighs frustratedly. Devils roll the dice, and Yeri rolls her eyes, because the angels aren’t playing this game. She is, and while she might tell herself it’s because she wants to, she wishes she could tap out, concede defeat to get the truth.

But to get the truth, the truth first had to be told. She can’t keep this secret anymore. They have to trust her, and if Yeri knew about Mark and Donghyuck, chances are this anonymous texter knew too.

And she has to tell Jeno the truth before they do, whether “they” is the mystery girl, Irene, Simon, or someone else.

She closes her notebook and sighs frustratedly again. She plays with the game cartridge in her fingers for a little bit, twirling it around. Then, she decides to insert it in the slot and turns the DS on. The console leads her to the home screen, she selects the game, and then sees where Mark left off.

It says he last saved somewhere on Route 39. Yeri knows nothing about Pokemon HeartGold, so she looks it up. According to the first website in the search results, it’s a route connecting Route 38 to Olivine City, and Moomoo Farm is located on the northern half of the route. She clicks on the hotlink for Olivine City – a city located near the coast. Similar to Journey. 

Yeri tries to think about what this means, if it’s important that Mark had saved here, that she had been given his old DS and the old game cartridge. But she doesn’t know anything about Pokemon, and she has no idea what any of this means.

Frustrated, she tries clicking through Mark’s trainer bag and his Pokemon. There’s nothing in his bag besides items like Poke Balls, repels, a sun stone, and healing potions. She clicks on the icon for Pokemon.

Nicknames, Renjun had said. Nicknames.

In Mark’s party, there are six Pokemon.

Evan ( _Quilava_ ) Katy ( _Togepi_ )

Jae ( _Gyrados_ ) Blue ( _Espeon_ )

Joy ( _Ampharos_ ) Irene ( _Azumarill_ )

Yeri knows at least four of the six nicknames. Katy is her. She’s the Togepi. Jae’s a pet name for Jaehyun that she’s heard Joy use a couple of times. Joy is the Ampharos. And Irene is an Azumarill.

But who are Blue and Evan?

And where is Simon?

Yeri regards each Pokemon nickname carefully. There has to be a reason they have those names. It doesn’t matter if this is what Mark had named them, or someone had taken the game and changed them, those names are there for a reason. 

But Yeri can’t figure out why. 

Did this mean Renjun was wrong? Simon isn’t a nickname?

And why was she nicknamed for a Togepi? What does that mean? She vaguely remembers Togepi being Misty’s companion in the Pokemon series, but she has no idea why she’s there. Is that why she got the game?

Yeri turns the game off and puts it back in the package underneath her bed, hiding everything behind clothes and boxes. She takes out her phone, texts Jeno back briefly, texts in their group chat about meeting tomorrow, and then goes back to Simon’s message.

**Unknown Number** : _Simon says he knows what game Mark’s four friends are playing._

What does it all mean? Was it Mark’s HeartGold game that she had? Or was this a game someone was playing with them, to possibly frame her for Mark’s disappearance?

But that doesn’t make sense. If that was the game, then why hadn’t the police been tipped off yet that she has Mark’s belongings that also disappeared that night? Why aren’t the four of them arrested for homicide yet? Renjun isn’t right. He might have been right about some things, but he was wrong about Donghyuck, and he could be wrong about them being framed.

But if he’s wrong, then what’s the game? And if this is a game, then what’s at the end? Mark? The truth? What’s the prize if the winner takes it all?

Frustrated and confused, she turns her phone off and throws it on her bed, and changes into some sweatpants. She watches some episodes of ‘The Vampire Diaries’ to try and get her mind off of things. But it doesn’t help, Ian Somerholder isn’t helping take her mind off things. With an uncomfortable feeling lodging itself in her chest, Yeri eventually turns off Netflix, deciding to take a nap. Tossing and turning, it takes her twenty minutes before she finally falls asleep.

***

Family dinner proceeds uneventfully. Mom and dad ask about how her friends are, Doyoung talks about the news, Jennie scrolls through Instagram and mom scolds her for using her phone at the table. Dad brings up that they’re all going to go to Hawaii for one of mom’s conferences in a couple weeks, and it can be a fun family vacation. Normally Yeri would be excited, but she’s just feeling dejected.

Later, as she’s in her room watching ‘The Office’, she gets a knock on her door.

“Come in,” she calls back from behind her.

The door opens and she turns around. It’s Jennie.

“Hey, just wanted to check in,” she says, closing the door behind her. “Are you...you know, feeling okay? Your food’s still in your stomach?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she smiles.

“You sure? Me and Doey just want to make sure you don’t have food poisoning, or anything like that. I know you weren’t drinking, I mean, you were driving back from San Jose, but still...are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Jennie asks concernedly.

“Yeah, I promise, Jennie,” she says. “Don’t worry. I think my stomach just couldn’t handle all the spice from that night. Seriously, don’t worry about it. I think I just had too much to eat.”

“You’re not bulimic or anything, right?” Jennie asks. 

“No, trust me, I’m not. Please, seriously Jennie, don’t worry about me. I’m doing fine.”

“Okay, I believe you. I just want to check in, be a good older sister and all.”

“Well, actually,” she cheekily adds, “with how much you are worrying about me, you’re starting to sound like Doyoung.”

Jennie makes a disgusted face. “Ew, no. Please don’t say that.”

Yeri laughs and Jennie smiles back at her. Then the smile turns sly. “You know what I think might make you feel better? Some gossip.”

“Oh,” Yeri says excitedly. “Spill.”

“Guess what I heard today from Lisa and Ten.”

“What?”

“You know how Doey, Jaehyun, and Sicheng went on that hike yesterday morning? You know, on one of those trails up in the hills?” Jennie starts. “Well, apparently, Ten heard from Sicheng that Jaehyun told him and Doyoung that he and Joy are on a break. He told them about it that morning, I guess they had decided to take a break the same night you yakked in the toilet.”

Yeri gasps in shock, as if that had been the most shocking revelation about Jaehyun today. “No way. Who wanted the break?”

“I think it was mutual. But I’m going to take that as breaking up, because you _know_ I’m going to be playing matchmaker for Jaehyun and Rosé this summer,” she smirks devilishly. 

“Oh my god, you are not,” Yeri gasps. “Jennie! You can’t do that to Joy! Let me talk to her first to see if it was a break or a break-up.”

“There’s no difference, come on, if they’re on a break then that means they broke up,” Jennie crosses her arms impatiently.

“You just want to play matchmaker for Rosé. Come on, she’s my best friend. Let me text her first to see if they actually broke up.”

Ugh, fine, I’ll wait,” she concedes. “Okay but also that’s not all. You know what else I heard? Apparently, Jeno has a secret girlfriend or something.”

“What?!” Yeri exclaims. “But Jeno isn’t seeing anyone! He would’ve told me, or I would have heard from Renjun or Jaemin.”

“I know! That’s why I’m telling you, because I know you guys are super close,” Jennie laughs. “Because I heard this from Lisa – and like, you know Lisa’s never talked to Jeno in her life. But Lisa is friends with Momo, who’s friends with Jihyo. And you know how Jihyo works down at that architecture place down in Santa Cruz, where Jeno interns? Well, apparently, some girl dropped off a letter for Jeno in his mailbox at work. Apparently she said it was from his older sister or whatever.”

Yeri feels her stomach twist painfully, like a knife plunging deeper into her diaphragm.

“So like, when you picked him up, was it _actually_ a note from Sunmi?” Jennie asks. “Was she actually Sunmi’s friend? Or was it a note from his mystery girlfriend? Was it a love letter? Are they dating? Is he dating some girl in Santa Cruz? He showed it to you, right?”

_Bad boy, right? That’s what you called me, last time we met._

She has to lie.

_I finally figured everything out. I’ll see you soon._

Renjun might’ve been right, about being set up.

_Don’t worry too much about me._

Maybe they are being framed.

_I think I know how this all ends._

“Yeah, no, it was actually a note from Sunmi,” she laughs off playfully, as if to find Jennie’s gossip from Lisa and Ten ridiculous. “He’s not seeing anyone. It was just one of Sunmi’s eccentric friends from college – you know how Sunmi is. She’s really weird.”

“Oh my god. I knew it!” Jennie says, eyes glinting with satisfaction. 

Yeri’s stomach settles as she exhales with sweet relief. Jennie bought her lie. For now, there was nothing to worry about with the postcard – Jennie would gossip to everyone else that it really was just a note from Sunmi, and the whole thing would be forgotten when the next couple broke up or hooked up, or the next summer party was filled with drama, or someone else from high school did something petty and stupid.

“I knew that was just Lisa talking shit! Oh my god, I knew there was no way Jeno had a secret girlfriend,” Jennie continues cockily. “I mean, he has you already.”

Yeri’s heart drops. “Sorry, what?”

Jennie smirks. “Oh please. I know you, Yeri. Come on, you’re close friends with all three of them, and not one of you has started dating yet?” 

Yeri might almost laugh, because Jennie would be much more shocked to learn how much Renjun and Jaemin are interested in each other.

“I mean, it was believable when you said there was nothing between you and Mark. But Jeno? I find that a little hard to believe.”

“Oh my god, Jennie, please drop this,” she huffs, “I’ve already told you so many times, we’re just friends–”

“Boys and girls are never _just_ friends,” she smirks.

“Okay, now you’re annoying me,” she says irritably. “Goodbye!” She shoves Jennie out of her room and closes the door. Jennie laughs from the other side, but she puts her headphones in and ignores her.

But she can’t ignore what she knows.

***

The next morning, Yeri picks up Jaemin first as he lives closest to her.

“Hey Jaem!” Yeri says as he comes into the car. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” he replies coldly.

Yeri is thrown off by the tone of his voice. He sounds antagonizing. Something’s off.

“Is something wrong?”

“Pull over.”

“What?”

“Pull over, Yeri,” he says.

Yeri pulls over and glances to Jaemin, who looks angry.

“What–”

Jaemin takes out a piece of paper from his pocket, and then unfolds it. It has a lot of writing on it – Yeri thinks it looks like a journal entry.

Then she sees the handwriting. It’s the same as the handwriting on Jeno’s mystery postcard.

Surprisingly, she feels some twisted sense of relief, to see that Jaemin has got something as well. It’s not just her and Jeno, Jaemin is being played with too. Maybe this is the game – they’re getting clues to figure out what happened to Mark. 

Why, she still doesn’t know.

“I got this in the mail two days ago,” Jaemin says dangerously, sounding on the edge of shouting. “It’s something Mark wrote, a year ago, after seeing me at the farmer’s market. Remember that? Remember when you, me and Donghyuck went a year ago?”

She tenses. What’s in the journal entry? “Jaemin–”

“Oh, but that’s not all. No, that’s not all! No, because apparently, Mark wrote that he was going to talk to you about something related to Donghyuck.”

Again, that twisted sense of relief soothes her. Because this means it’s about Mark and Donghyuck breaking up. That’s what Mark had written about. She can explain that to him.

“Jaemin–”

“No! Let me finish, you don’t get to–”

“I know what–”

“You know _what_? That Mark was going to talk to you about Donghyuck? You don’t think I know that?!” Jaemin shouts now, full of rage as he points to the journal entry. “You kept secrets from us, Yeri! You know something about Mark and Donghyuck and you didn’t tell any of us–”

“Jaemin,” she interrupts him, She feels a strange sense of preternatural calm washing over her. “I know...I know what happened that night. The night that Mark went missing.”

Jaemin’s words die on his tongue.

“What?” he says quietly, the anger instantly draining out of him, replaced with uncertainty, tension built not from anger but from terror. “What the hell are you talking about, Yeri?”

“Jaemin. Whatever Mark wrote about me in that journal entry, about what I know about Mark and Donghyuck. It’s about that night. About them.”

“What?” he says barely above a whisper, suddenly aware of how small Yeri’s car is.

“I haven’t been completely honest with you guys,” Yeri apologizes. She’s already done this with Renjun. She knows how to handle this.

Again, that twisted sense of relief washes over her, along with, for some reason, feeling _grateful_ that she’s in this situation. If she’d never gotten that package in the mail, she would have never said anything. Kept Mark’s relationship with Donghyuck under lock and key, forever. But seeing Mark’s DS, and the ticket from the aquarium...it made her realize that she can’t keep secrets anymore. Not if they want to find the truth about Mark.

To find Mark, she has to come clean.

“What...what do you mean?”

“There’s something I never told anyone about that summer. About Mark.”

She takes the car out of Park and starts driving, and shuffles her playlist. “I Won’t Back Down” by Tom Petty starts playing.

After she finishes explaining everything to Jaemin, he looks at her forlornly, all the fiery emotions he had drained out of him like venom from a snake bite. 

“I know it’s a lot,” Yeri says. “I know it’s...a lot that I kept from you guys. But you have to understand, Jaemin. Mark didn’t want anyone to find out about him and Donghyuck dating. Not even you guys.”

“I...I get it,” Jaemin nods. “I...I get it, Yeri. Why you kept that secret. It wasn’t yours to tell.”

Yeri doesn’t say anything in response.

“I’m...I’m sorry for yelling at you, Yeri,” Jaemin apologizes. “It’s just...I got this journal entry, and it was in Mark’s handwriting, and I just felt so angry, and I just...I just assumed the worst about you. I’m sorry, I should’ve given you a chance to explain, instead of yelling at you.”

“It’s okay,” Yeri accepts. “You thought you didn’t know me as well as you did. I get it. I know what that feels like, Jaem.” 

Her mind drifts back to Joy, Jaehyun, Donghyuck.

Mark.

Jaemin nods his head in understanding.

“But it’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” Yeri shakes her head. “The truth is out there now. I still have to tell Jeno, and...well, I don’t know how he’s going to handle it, but I’ll be honest with him. He deserves to know the truth.”

Jaemin remains quiet.

They’re on Cornelia Street now, and she parks in front of Renjun’s house, near the flowery hedge. She takes out her phone and texts Renjun that they’re outside.

“Yeri.”

She looks up. Jaemin’s mouth is drawn in a terse frown. 

“Jaemin?” she says. “What’s wrong?”

“Yeri, I’m sorry. I’m such a hypocrite.”

“What? No, it’s okay, Jaemin,” she tries to soothe him. “I get it. You were angry and upset. I would be if I was in your position too. Please...it’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“It’s okay, Jaemin.”

“No..it’s not. Because you are.”

“What?”

He laughs dryly, which surprises her. “What you said, about being in my position...you are.” He groans after his last laugh, almost sounding painful. “Oh, fuck, this is so fucked up! I have fucked up so bad.”

The pain in her stomach explodes into a festering of fear. “What? What...what the hell are you talking about, Jaemin?”

“Because I...I haven’t exactly been honest about that night, either,” Jaemin says reluctantly.

“What?”

“Yeri...I’m sorry, fuck, I am the fucking worst.” He starts to tremble.

The front door to Renjun’s house opens and he walks over to Yeri’s car.

“What?!” Yeri says. “Jaemin? What...what the hell do you mean by that?”

The car door opens and Renjun shuffles in. “Yeri?”

She turns to look at Renjun, who immediately looks at them both with cautious eyes, trying to figure out what’s happening. She doesn’t start the car. She’s not starting the car until Jaemin explains what the hell he’s talking about.

_Nothing good starts in a getaway car._

“What’s going on? Why does Jaemin look like he’s about to cry?”

“Because–”

“Because I know something, Renjun!” Jaemin says dangerously, sounding on the edge of hysteria. “I haven’t been completely honest, about that night either!”

“What?!”

“Jaemin, what the hell are you talking about?!”

Jaemin breathes heavily. “Injunnie, do you...do you remember how we all went to the movies that night? And I slept over here, at your place?”

Renjun tenses. “Why?”

“Renjun, I...I–”

Suddenly all three of their phones go off.

The pain in her stomach shoots through her chest, dangerously close to pricking her heart as the car starts caving in on them.

It’s quiet. Extremely quiet.

Time tangles, every passing second exaggerated and accelerated simultaneously as the windows blur the surroundings around them, numbing the feeling in her chest.

The three of them pull out their phones.

Each of them has received a text from an unknown number. It’s with two pictures.

They open the message and–

“Oh my god.”

Jaemin drops his phone, hands covering his mouth to muffle the sound coming out of it.

“OH MY GOD.”

Renjun gasps in terror. And then he opens the door to the car, stumbling out.

“OH MY GOD, JENO!”

Yeri almost shrieks in horror but quickly covers her mouth, stopping herself from drawing the attention of neighbors, or passerby, or anyone else awake during these hellish hours of shivering morning dawn.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” she starts trembling horribly, terrified by what she sees and reads.

Renjun pulls her out, and Jaemin grabs her keys as he locks her car and the three of them are running towards the hedge of Cornelia roses on the opposite side of the street. 

“Yeri, we have to go!”

The world is moving but she is not, Jaemin drags her along by the hand through the hedge and Renjun sprints forward but her brain cannot register that the world is moving. She’s still shocked. The trees blur. She feels faint, the knife twisting in her stomach finally plunged too deep to remove.

“Yeri, I know where he is, we need to find him, COME ON!”

  
  
  


The first picture is of a trail.

  
  


**Unknown Number** : _What doesn’t kill him makes him want to know._

  
  
  
  
  


The second picture is of Jeno’s body on the ground.

* * *

“Where are we off to?” Jaehyun said. “The diner, right? I know you wanted one last meal.”

“Yeah, I am kind of hungry,” Mark replied.

“Alright, diner it is,” Jaehyun said. He pulled out of the driveway, and they were off.

“So, how are you feeling?” Joy asked him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am,” Mark said. “I mean, I’ve looked into everything, and I have enough to get by, I think. I just...I don’t know, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” 

Joy nodded her head empathetically. “I feel you, Mark. Trust me, I know what it feels like. Me and Jaehyun both get it.”

“Thanks so much for your help, you guys,” he said. “Seriously, when I first told you guys...I didn’t think you would actually help me but it really, really means a lot.”

“Hey, dude, we got you,” Jaehyun said. “I know you don’t trust everyone in USB, exactly, but you can trust me and Joy. Hopefully you can put all this behind you.”

“Yeah,” Mark said. “Hopefully.”

Mark didn’t want to keep talking about this, so he changed the conversation to what was new about USB, and the whole party Johnny and Yuta were throwing tonight. Make conversation with them about the crazy antics all their friends did, make it feel like old times.

“Did you want to go to Johnny and Yuta’s party tonight, after we grab something to eat?” Jaehyun asked. “Y’know, to see everyone again.”

Mark shook his head. “I think it’d be too...complicated, to see everyone tonight. If I really want to do this, then I can’t keep looking back because I’ll just talk myself out of it.”

“Alright,” Joy nodded. She pulled out her phone. “I’ll text Johnny we’ll be there a bit later. Helping you tonight is more important.”

Jaehyun nodded and focused on driving, and they started having a conversation. Mark tuned it out and stared outside at the road, the night scenery flitting by him as Jaehyun continued driving on the road as they made their way to the diner. His stomach growled.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Mark pulled it out and saw that he had a text message notification on his lock screen. He opened his phone.

**Blocked Number** : _I took your order._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeno! You should’ve checked, mate.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)   
>  [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)   
>  [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	10. Check Marks the Spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today, Renjun is busy with Chinese club meetup at Cat’s Corner, Yeri texted about being busy this morning, and Jaemin took a raincheck, saying he wanted to spend some time with his family. So, in the end, it had just been Jeno who had time today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The following chapter contains depictions of panic attacks and physical assault.

_What doesn’t kill me makes me want you more_

“So how’s the musical going?” Jeno asks as he takes another mouthful of pasta.

“Eh, it’s okay I guess,” Donghyuck shrugs, sipping on his smoothie before taking a bite of his hamburger steak. “I don’t know why we’re doing another Disney musical. I mean, we already did ‘Mary Poppins’ last year. That was the big summer play. You’d think our director would want to change it up.”

“Isn’t this director different from last summer’s?”

“But yet,” Donghyuck continues as he takes another sip of his tea, “here we are, a little town, a quiet village, doing Beauty and the Beast. It’s so...disgustingly fitting.”

“But Lumière seems like a perfect fit for you, no?” Jeno says.

“Even if it is...I don’t want to be typecast,” Donghyuck sighs dramatically.

“Dude, we’re only sixteen. You’re not getting typecast into anything.”

“But I always play the stereotypically sassy or outgoing metrosexual male character!” he waves his hands theatrically in the air. “What, am I not masculine enough for the lead roles? Like in the spring musical this year. Jaehyun got to be Javert, and I was stuck playing Marius when I just _knew_ that I could’ve made an amazing Jean Valjean. And I have the range for it, too!”

“But I thought graduating seniors got the leading parts in the musicals?”

“And it _shouldn’t_ be that way,” Donghyuck huffs hotly, “it should be for whoever is the most talented and suited for the part!”

Jeno just shrugs. “As you know, I know squat about musical theatre. But uh...you’re talented, Hyuck. And you’re still getting big parts. That’s something.”

Donghyuck sighs. “I don’t know why I try talking about this to you sometimes. You’re not a theatre kid. You’ll never understand the _struggle_ –” he makes sure to place extra emphasis on that word, “–of the highs and lows of the Journey Pines High School drama department.”

Jeno laughs at how ridiculous that sounds. Donghyuck smiles and takes another bite of his hamburger steak, munching away happily.

Donghyuck – or Haechan now, deciding he preferred his nickname over his legal name – had asked Jeno if he wanted to hang out and get lunch today before he went to soccer practice and Haechan went to musical practice. Although they began leading entirely different lives in middle school, with Haechan learning high kicks for choreography and Jeno practicing push kicks for matches, they still enjoy being friends. It also helps that their close-knit group hasn’t fallen apart. And while they could still feel Mark’s absence after he had gone missing a year ago, they all still hang out and do things together.

Today, Renjun is busy with Chinese club meetup at Cat’s Corner, Yeri texted about being busy this morning, and Jaemin took a raincheck, saying he wanted to spend some time with his family. So, in the end, it had just been Jeno who had time today. They spent the morning hanging out at Cat’s Corner, getting coffee, playing cards and just talking about random stuff. Now they’re getting lunch at a Japanese cafe, before they both have to go off to their respective practices.

After checking his phone, Haechan looks back up at him. “So, how was Silver Pond?” Haechan says, voice a bit higher than before, he notes. “Yeri told me that you guys all went there two days ago for dinner. Thanks for the invite, by the way.”

“Sorry, it all happened kinda spontaneously,” Jeno says. “We were meeting up to talk about stuff. I thought you had other plans.”

“I mean, I did, but I’d much rather hang out with you guys than play fifth wheel on one of Jaehyun and Joy’s double dates where they try setting Johnny up with someone,” Haechan rolls his eyes. 

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry,” Jeno stifles laughter.

Haechan just sighs annoyedly. “I don’t even know why they invited me. We all went to this stupid art gallery, and let me tell you, it was so incredibly boring watching Johnny fumble a date. It gets old after the fifth time. Dinner with you guys sounds way more fun.”

“Well, I mean, we have the whole summer,” Jeno says. “We can all still hang out.”

“That’s true.”

“Anyways, it was good! Renjun got us all dumplings and a discount, since he knows the people who own the place.”

“Huh, I haven’t talked to Renjun in awhile,” Haechan says off-handedly. “How’s he doing?”

Jeno’s a bit confused, but he figures Haechan’s just wondering how they’re all doing. “He’s doing okay! He got a job part-time working with little kids at an art studio, he starts next week. He, uh…”

_I think Renjun likes Jaemin. Or something like that._

“...he feels a bit bad, since he can’t help his mom at the grocery store this summer. But yeah, next time you should definitely come with us! You should try their braised pork, that was my favorite.”

“I definitely will, next time we all hang out,” Haechan says as he takes another bite.

***

“Hey, TY,” Jeno says affectionately as he throws his soccer stuff in the back and hops into the front seat of his truck. “Thanks for picking me up.” 

“No problem, Jen,” Taeyong replies as he backs out of the parking spot. “How was practice?”

“It was the usual. Mostly short short long drills today. Then a scrimmage afterwards. Coach made us run half a mile to warm up though. But other than that, not too bad!”

“Nice, nice.”

“How about you? How was your day?” Jeno asks. “Did you...well, you know, get a lot out of your session today?”

“Yeah, I did,” Taeyong nods his head as he turns right. “It was really helpful. We talked a lot about Mark, and, you know, how it’s been a year since he’s been gone, and I have to stop internalizing guilt I feel about that.”

“Guilt?”

“Yeah, I mean, I feel responsible for you guys, you know,” Taeyong explains. “I’m your older brother. Of course I feel protective of both of you. Just like how Sunmi dotes on all of us. And I talked about how, you know, it might potentially exacerbate some of my other problems.”

“Ah.” Jeno doesn’t press it any further.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I’m still completely clean, if you were wondering. She was really helpful and I got a lot out of our session. I’m glad, you know, that I found Hani, she’s honestly changed my life. She even told me I should try talking about this with you, check in with you and see how you’re doing.”

“Oh. Well...thank you. For checking in.”

“Yeah, of course, Jen! I want to make sure you’re okay. Are you handling it okay? With it being...you know, a year, and all.”

By that, he means Mark having gone missing, a year ago.

“Yeah. I think I’ll be fine. It’s...I’m not gonna lie, it’s been tough,” Jeno says carefully, not wanting to give too much away. “But I think, hanging out with my friends, and talking to you, and just...well, keeping busy, it’s helped.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Taeyong nods his head empathetically. “I’ve been thinking about keeping busy too, this summer.”

“That’s good,” Jeno replies. “You’re busy tomorrow, aren’t you going to San Francisco with Ten, Johnny and Yuta?”

“Yep!” Taeyong says. “We’re leaving pretty early in the morning. Rush hour in the Bay Area gets pretty hairy. But I mean, besides that, I think I’m also gonna try working on production for the local theatre’s summer musical.”

“Oh, funny you say that, me and Donghyuck were just talking about that!” Jeno replies. “What do you want to work on? Soundboarding?”

“Yeah, or something behind-the-scenes for sure. I know Dahyun’s working on set design, and Sicheng is helping with the choreo, so it’ll be cool to catch up with them, you know. Haven’t talked to either of them in awhile.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

***

After Jeno gets out of the shower and changes into a t-shirt and shorts, he checks his phone for texts. He has two, one from Yeri and one from his boss at his internship.

**katyeri** [5 min ago] : _Hey, this is random. But when u went to Johnny’s party last year, did he give u and Hyuck a ride?_

 _hey no prob. yeah johnny gave me and hyuck a ride to his party. Why_ : **Jeno**

**Seohyun** [15 min ago] : _Hi Jeno! Just want to let you know that tomorrow’s work is mainly data entry. I’ll email you the spreadsheet you’ll need to fill out with all the numbers. Since it’s computer work, you don’t need to come into the office tomorrow. Feel free to work on it from home._

 _Hi Seohyun, thank you for letting me know! I’ll send the spreadsheet to you by the end of the day._ : **Jeno**

Yeri texts back a minute later.

**katyeri** [just now] : _No reason. Just curious! Thx_ 😄

Jeno doesn’t think much of it, instead texting in their group chat that he doesn’t have to go into the office tomorrow for his internship. Renjun makes plans for them to go to some coffee shop in Santa Cruz instead, and Jaemin suggests checking out this acai bowl place that Haseul recommended to him.

***

He knows this is just a dream, because you can’t breathe underwater. And yet he feels perfectly normal, unperturbed by lack of air. 

Mark is there too, with blue streaks in his hair.

They should be floating, or drowning, but they’re both standing under water, the kelp forest swaying around them. Dusty, pale, opalescent fish meander around them, hazy in the murky background. A seal looks at him, swims past him. But the water that surrounds them remains perfectly clear, a crystalline patchwork of soft currents.

Mark stares off into the murkiness, an abyss of muddled beige and grey that sits on the periphery. He’s quiet, but a contented smile plays on his face. Jeno doesn’t move to speak, only watches, observes carefully in the dawn. 

“You didn’t save me.”

I’m sorry, Mark.

“It’s okay, Jeno. Don’t worry too much about me. I’m alright. Are you?”

No, I’m not alright, Mark.

Mark turns around, a goofy smile on his face. Jeno cries, he cries out for Mark, desperately tries to reach out to him, but he can’t move, he can’t say anything. The water mutes the words in his mouth.

In this dream, he is only an observer.

“Did you remember to check?” Mark laughs.

Check? Check what?

“To check what’s behind you, silly!” Mark says.

Jeno turns around to see Jaemin, Yeri, and Renjun approaching him, coming out from the murky abyss of kelp. Jaemin carries an old rotary telephone, holding the handswitch in his left hand and the switchboard in his right. Mark takes the phone from Jaemin’s hands and says “Hey, Jaemin.” Yeri points to the blue tape over her mouth, and Mark walks over to take it off. Renjun has a mailbox, with the flag raised down. Mark goes to the mailbox and puts the flag up.

Why does he hear footsteps?

“Oh! Check behind you again, this gets interesting,” Mark says cheerfully, except it’s not Mark anymore. Now it’s Taeyong in his dream, with blue streaks in his hair and a goofy smile on his face.

Jeno turns around again and sees the mystery girl in the kelp. There’s a tennis racket in her hand. She’s wearing a red white-collared tank top with a white skirt.

Jeno realizes he’s in a fish tank, and suddenly, no one is here but him. The three of them and Taeyong are all outside now, walking away. He swims forward but cannot pass the glass. He bangs and bangs and bangs and bangs on it. It won’t break. They disappear into the abyss.

Mystery girl looks at him through the kelp. She pulls out a tennis ball from underneath her skirt. Then throws it in the air and then hits it as hard as she can, sending it flying directly towards him.

Jeno wakes up in a cold sweat. He doesn’t cry, instead he just shivers, cold and terrified.

He sighs and checks his phone. It’s 5:27 AM. These dreams keep waking him up. He wants to fall back asleep, to be well-rested to spend the day with the three of them, and to be energized to work on the spreadsheets Seohyun had sent him. 

Tossing, turning. 

Tossing, turning. 

Jeno feels restless – it’s like his mind refuses to go back to those dreams, terrified of experiencing more of them. He checks his phone again. 5:39 AM. Feeling his resolve break, he decides to go for a run again instead, to try and clear his mind.

After changing into some running clothes, he heads downstairs and opens the front door. Johnny, Yuta, and Ten are all outside in Johnny’s Ford Explorer.

Ten sees him and rolls down his window. “Yo, hey Jeno!” he waves at him.

Jeno waves back and walks up towards Ten’s window. “Hey, Ten! Hey Johnny, Yuta. You guys are going to SF today, right?”

“Yep, did Taeyong tell you?” Ten says. 

Jeno nods his head.

“Yeah, Seulgi and Wendy are free today, so we’re gonna go meet up with them in Oakland first! Gotta go early to beat the rush hour though, and to make it to brunch on time near Lake Merritt. Afterwards we’re heading to SF to hang out around Golden Gate Park and Baker Beach.”

“Why are you up so early though?” Yuta asks. “Are you going on a run?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, actually,” Jeno says politely. “I was just about to go on a run to help myself wake up and clear my mind.”

The front door opens and Taeyong walks out, dressed in all blue – ripped denim jeans, light blue hoodie that says “Unicorns and Rainbows” and a baby blue snapback. “Hey guys. Oh, Jeno!” Taeyong exclaims surprisedly. “Why are you awake? I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Oh, couldn’t sleep, just going to run,” Jeno shrugs. 

“Didn’t you do that a couple of days ago?”

“Yes.”

“You okay, dude? Are you sleeping well?”

“I’m fine, Yong. Don’t worry about me, please. Just in the mood to run, that’s all!”

“Ah, okay, well, have a good run!” Taeyong replies as he hops into the seat next to Ten.

“I will. If you see Sunmi today, can you tell her I said hi?”

“Why can’t you tell her yourself?” he says cheekily.

Jeno grins. “Fair enough. I’ll see you later T-Y. Have fun!”

“We will, later dude!” Taeyong says as Johnny starts backing out.

“Bye, Jeno! Have a good run!” Ten waves behind.

Jeno waves back at them as they drive down the street, and then starts running in the opposite direction towards the trails.

When Jeno gets to the foot of the hill, he sees three people talking at the fork between the trail that leads to the top of the hill, and the other trail that eventually leads to a grove of old peach tree grove that’s near the neighborhood at Campfire Avenue.

He recognizes them.

It’s Sicheng, Doyoung, and Jaehyun.

Jeno feels his entire body tense at the sight of the three of them.

Doey is for Doyoung.

Winko is for Sicheng.

J is for Jaehyun.

That’s who was up there, last time he went on a run on these trails. It was them.

Doyoung is the first to notice him. “Oh, hey Jeno!” Doyoung smiles and waves him over. Jeno snaps out of it, pretends he is feeling fine even though inside the anxiety clamors around in his chest, spiking as he walks closer to them. “Are you going for a run this morning?”

“Uh...yeah.”

“Do you wanna join us?” Doyoung gestures to the three of them. “We were gonna hike up these trails too. To the top of the hill. The view’s great in the morning!”

Jeno’s mind races and races to stay calm, nerves crackling under the pressure.

“Uh, n-no, it’s-it’s okay!” Jeno sputters out nervously, anxiety creeping up like frostbite, hitching in his throat. “I-I’m just gonna, uh, go for a run on my own, sorry.”

“Ah, are you sure? I mean, I know we’re not all fast runners, but I’m sure Jaehyun at least can keep up with you.”

Jaehyun nods encouragingly. “Whaddya say, Jeno? We can leave these two slowpokes behind.”

_Does Taeyong know?_

“N-no, uh...uh…”

_What do you know about Mark disappearing?_

“Jeno?” Doyoung looks at him concernedly. “Everything okay, dude?”

_I don’t think you want to know the answer._

The anxiety in his chest grows tighter, starts to make it harder to think straight, everything becoming much more loud, pronounced, he needs to get out.

“Is he okay?” Sicheng asks Doyoung. “He looks like he’s gonna pass out.”

“I uh, don’t know, Jeno, are you okay? We can walk you back home,” Doyoung says worriedly.

_Mark could’ve seen other people that night, before he died._

“I know, fuck, I-I know,” Jeno can’t think straight, he feels like his brain is about to melt.

_Me and Doyoung know you’re not._

Doyoung grabs Jeno’s shoulders and starts to help him walk to a rock, sitting him down. “Jeno, are you okay? You’re shivering really badly. Just breathe, okay?”

Breathe, Jeno, breathe.

_Why didn’t you save me, Jeno?_

If he keeps sitting here, he’s going to lose his mind.

_Why didn’t you look for me, Jeno?_

They know something about Mark. 

They know something about Mark. 

They know something about Mark. 

_Don’t worry too much about me. I’m alright. Are you?_

He feels Doyoung grab onto his shoulders as he struggles to calm down. “Dude, should we just walk him back to his house?” Jaehyun asks. “Or call 911? He might have like, hypothermia or something.”

_Check what’s behind you._

He has to get out of here.

“No, sorry, I’m fine, I’m fine!” Jeno suddenly stands up, jumping away from the three of them. “I just, got really cold all of a sudden, guess I didn’t dress warm enough, wow, how stupid of me!”

“Do you want us to–”

“No, I’m okay! I’m okay. Actually, I’m gonna, uh, start running to warm up, I’ll see you guys up there, later, yeah? Haha okay, see you!” 

Then, he runs.

It’s as if his legs and body move without control. His legs stretch out in front of him, arms pumping and swinging to run up the hill as fast as he can, to get away from the three of them as fast as possible. He hears them behind him, like muffled voices in his head.

_Check what’s behind you._

They’re behind him. They’ll follow him, and then they’ll catch him. He can’t let them catch him. If they catch him, he’ll die. He’s going to die. He’s going to die. 

He’s going to die. Just like they let Mark die.

 _Check what’s behind you_.

He’s not thinking straight. They’re not going to kill him. He’s not going to die.

_Snap out of it, Jeno._

They’re good people. They’re not bad people. They wouldn’t kill Mark.

Mark isn’t dead!

He’s not dying.

He’s not going to die.

He has to hide. He has to get away. He has to be alone.

His entire body feels like it’s on the brink of collapsing. Joints ache, ligaments burn, breathes shorten. But he keeps pushing himself. He approaches the left side of the canyon. He knows what to do. He sprints around the curve, spots the tree, leaps up to the dirt by it, and then lunges upwards on the steep path, and once he gets to the top where the trail to the grassy clearing begins, he collapses, falls onto the ground, breathing hard.

Don’t faint. 

Don’t faint.

_You’re not dying here._

Jeno jolts awake, having felt himself nearly lose consciousness for a moment. Their voices down below start to clarify into sound in his head. He slowly stands up, making sure to be as silent as possible. He hears the three of them, and looks down on the main trail where the canyon is, seeing them walking up on the left side. They won’t find him. There’s no pink ribbon to guide them here. 

“Wow, he must run fast, huh?” Doyoung says. “He probably made it all the way up there by now, you know? Fuck, I should’ve played soccer senior year.”

“Like you had time for soccer, Mr. ‘oh I’m gonna take 6 APs my senior year’ Doyoung Kim,” Sicheng quips sarcastically. “Also, dancing keeps you in just as much shape.” He pats his flat stomach.

“Or basketball,” Jaehyun adds.

“Oh gosh, I hope he’s okay,” Doyoung says concernedly. “He was really shivering back there. Do you think he has an iron deficiency or something? Or was it a panic attack? What if–”

“He’s a teenager, Doyoung,” Sicheng says. “He’s young. He’s as tough as Yeri. He’ll be fine.”

“But teenagers are stupid–”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Jaehyun says annoyedly as they round the curve of the trail now. “We are teenagers, Doey. We’re all still a bunch of stupid, dumb teenagers. Including you, you’re not an adult.”

“But I’m not–”

“You’re eigh _teen_ , correct? So technically, you’re still a teenager.”

Doyoung laughs, shaking his head. “Alright, fine. We’re still teenagers. I guess you’ve made your point, we only graduated high school a couple of weeks ago. Still, Jeno usually isn’t someone who gets super shaky like that.”

“Should we tell Taeyong?” Sicheng asks. “Maybe he’ll recommend Jeno see the same therapist he’s seeing, if it’s that serious, and that actually was a panic attack. Might have something to do with it being a year since Mark’s been missing.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Doyoung nods. “We should tell Taeyong. I’ll ask him about it when he gets back from SF with Johnny, Yuta and Ten.”

“Johnny, Yuta and Ten?” Jaehyun repeats as they continue walking further up the trail, now on the other side of the canyon.

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason, just...interesting, that’s all,” Jaehyun replies. 

“What, do you not like them, Jae? You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

“Nothing, nothing! They’re chill. Just checking that I heard right, that’s all,” Jaehyun says.

_Did you remember to check?_

Jeno checks all around him, making a full-circle turn. He almost finishes circling around counterclockwise when he freezes.

On the trail to the grassy field, to his right, at the end.

It’s the mystery girl.

Jet black hair frames her eyes, staring straight at him.

She bolts down the trail.

Jeno chases after her.

The trail leads him back to the grass field again, the setting no longer seeming serene, the trees looming mysteriously and above him in the opaque fog, ominous and eerie. He feels tense, searching the surroundings of the field for the mystery girl.

He knows she won’t go all the way down the trail to Cornelia Street. Because then Renjun will see her. And then she’ll get caught. And then, she’ll finally have to explain herself. And if she had wanted to explain herself, she wouldn’t have run away from him in the first place. She wouldn’t have just given him the postcard with no explanation.

“Hello?!” he calls out.

No response.

“Irene?!”

No response.

“Whoever you are, I know you’re here! Come out!”

No response.

“Why did you give me that postcard? Who told you to give it to me?!”

His phone buzzes in his pocket.

Jeno freezes.

He takes his phone out. It says that he has received two pictures, along with a text message. He opens his phone to see them.

It’s like a knife stabs him in the back, twisting straight into his heart.

“No,” he gasps.

Jeno feels the anxiety in his chest torturing his brain, makes him want to scream out in pain, the agony of betrayal slashing away at his very core.

_You can trust us, Jeno._

That’s what Renjun had told him.

_Check behind you._

That’s what Mark said in Jeno’s dream.

The first picture, it’s a page from a sketchbook, torn out. It’s a sketch of Mark. Some bangs are brushed to the side, others in front of his forehead, but there’s a contemplative expression on his face. His eyes look curious, his mouth neutral, his cheeks shaded slightly darker. He’s wearing a collared shirt. The drawing is signed by Renjun Huang.

The second picture, it’s a selfie of Mark, Donghyuck, and Renjun smiling. The background is trees, but there’s some grass and wildflowers around them. The mountainous hillside in the background is the same as the mountainous hillside he sees here this morning, in the grassy field. Mark is wearing the same collared shirt as Renjun’s sketch of him from the first picture.

**Unknown Number** : _They don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you._

Why had Renjun acted surprised when Jeno told him he found the trail that led here? Why had he acted like he’d never known about this place? Why had he never told him that Mark knew about this field too? Why had Donghyuck never told him?

An arm wraps around his neck and cuts off his airflow. He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, 

He can’t breathe, 

He’s going to die, his lungs scream in pain, 

He’s going to die–

  
  
  


–and then everything goes dark.

* * *

**Blocked Number** : _I took your order._

Mark sat in silence, ruminating in the back of the car as Jaehyun turned into the diner’s parking lot. Jaehyun had parked on the periphery, as far away from the other cars. He knew why.

The last person who’d see him that night was Yeri. That was it. No one was going to know that Jaehyun and Joy were helping him tonight.

He turned off the ignition. “Hey, so me and Joy are going to get your food to-go. We’ll leave the car unlocked. If you have to go off to go to the bathroom or something, just text us, okay?”

Jaehyun took another strawberry from the carton, eating it, throwing the leafy bit outside the driver’s window. “Do you want the windows down?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay,” Mark nodded. It was a bit stuffy in the car.

“Don’t worry, Mark. We’ll be right back, okay? We’ll get that cheeseburger and garlic fries you always like to eat,” Joy said tenderly. “Don’t be nervous. We’re here to help you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay, be right back!” 

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

Joy and Jaehyun waved to Mark, and then walked towards the diner.

“Bro, this is insane, I cannot believe we are doing this,” Jaehyun whispered nervously. “I’m gonna use the bathroom really quick. Hey, Jungwoo!” he waved as they walked towards Jungwoo, who was busy sorting through checks at the counter. The diner was packed tonight after the local choir had just finished a summer concert and had come in afterwards for dinner.

“Hey!” Jungwoo waved back. “Sorry, we’re super busy tonight, I guess a lot of the choir people were hungry after singing for two hours! People are just starting to finish their meals though, so if you want a seat–”

“Oh, no, no, it’s okay! We just want to get something to-go,” Joy explained. 

“Okay, okay, no problem, Dejun will help you out!” Jungwoo said as he walked off back to the kitchen counter to get some more dishes for customers and continue waiting on tables.

Jaehyun ran off to the bathroom while Joy waited a couple of minutes for Dejun to finish clearing the check for a party of six. She didn’t really know Dejun that well, just that he was one of Yeri and Mark’s friends who apparently was going to Johnny and Yuta’s party, after his and Jungwoo’s shifts ended at 10:00 PM.

“Hi, Joy, it’s just you and Jaehyun, right?” Dejun asked after he finished at the counter.

“Yep, that’s us!” Joy responded cheerfully. “We’re ordering to-go though.”

“Alright, hold on, let me call the last two people on the waiting list,” he said. “Okay, do we have a Mark, party for two?”

Joy thought she didn’t hear that right.

“Sorry, did you say Mark?”

“Hmm?” Dejun looked up at her confusedly. “Oh, yeah, Mark. Party for two. Huh, funny, Lucas just texted me how he thought Mark and Yeri were gonna do something tonight, since neither of them wanted to go to Johnny and Yuta’s party!”

Everything suddenly went blank.

“Funny how small stuff like that makes you remember things, right? Although I guess he’s not here with Yeri, and that’s a different Mark that put his name down. But I guess that Mark isn’t here either, so next would be...oh nice, it’s the last name on the list!”

Joy felt her mind go numb.

“Thank god, we’re down to the last name on the list, and then that’s my shift for tonight,” Dejun sighed with relief. “Okay, are you guys Seohyun, party for five?”

The people seated in the waiting area stood up. “Yep, that’s me!” said Seohyun.

“Alright, right this way!”

“Uh, sorry, wait! Hey, Dejun?”

Dejun turned around. “Yeah?”

“I’m just gonna go back to Jaehyun’s car really quick, I think I forgot my wallet there, or something,” she laughed airily. “Can you tell him that, and then tell him to order for us when he gets out of the bathroom?”

“Yeah, sure, no problem Joy!”

Joy opened the diner door and then sprinted back to Jaehyun’s car.

When she got there, she saw– 

–the back seat was empty.

“FUCK!”

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

“Okay, be right back!” Joy said as she and Jaehyun walked to the diner entrance.

Mark watched as they made their way towards the diner. Then he took out his phone, reading the text message again.

**Blocked Number** : _I took your order._

Mark needed to act fast.

He took out his phone and, on an impulse, decided not to call Donghyuck. He already accepted that he probably wasn’t going to see Donghyuck tonight, and he wasn’t going to break up over the phone. He couldn’t do that.

That would probably be one of his many regrets, not facing Donghyuck in person before he left. But he could do that when eventually, he came back to Journey.

It’s not like he was going to leave forever.

Irrationally, he decided to call him instead. It rang, but he didn’t pick up, and it went to his voicemail.

Fuck it.

“Jaemin, hey. You know how I saw you yesterday? At the farmer’s market? It...it wasn’t a date. I lied. I know that sounds ridiculous, but please, you have to believe me. Just...I don’t know if I’m making any sense.”

He sighed. None of this was going to make sense to Jaemin, but he didn’t have time to waste on calling someone else. He had to explain everything to Jaemin before it was too late.

“I don’t know. Nothing makes sense anymore, Jaemin. I’ve been lying so much, I don’t even know what the truth is anymore. Everything about this summer has been so fucked up.”

He thought back to when Yeri was driving him home only a couple of hours ago from the beach, how he told her that this was a cruel summer.

He laughed emptily at the thought. 

“Cruel summer. That sounds so fucking ridiculous. But I just...I don’t know how much time I have before they get back, but I have to tell you...I’m leaving Journey, Jaemin. Not forever. But...I have to leave. Because...because Simon says so.”

He shuddered at uttering Simon’s name.

“And I know that must not make any sense, fuck, I must not be making any sense right now, but...but...I’m...I’m leaving because–”

A hand reached through the open car window and grabbed his phone, tapping on the button to hang up the call. 

Mark shot up straight in his seat, shocked with fear by the sudden intrusion. He looked to see who the hand belonged to.

It was Irene. 

She was here, in the parking lot. 

She regarded him harshly, an unnerving glint to her eyes. 

“Irene? What are you–”

“Get out of the car,” she said stonily.

“Irene–”

“ _NOW._ ”

**END OF PART ONE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess honesty’s the best policy. SIKE! Should’ve lied there, because guess what? Truth hurts.
> 
> \---
> 
> And with that, we've now wrapped up Part One of Cruel Summer! Part Two/subsequent chapters will take a bit longer to release now (~1-2 months or longer, honestly depends) but I hope you're excited for the story to continue.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)  
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	11. Truth Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeri and Jaemin walk into Cat’s Corner during the late afternoon, the glowering sun shining above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, long time no see haha. Kind of fitting that a fic inspired by Taylor's song(s) is getting updated on her 31st birthday. Thanks for waiting! Chapters for Part Two should be released on a more frequent (weekly/bi-weekly) basis now. Hope you enjoy!

**PART TWO: TRYING TIMES**

**Act IV**

_Hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine, I’m not dying_

Voices rise, tempers flare, and Jaemin wants to get out of the house. Where had everything gone wrong? Why had everything gone wrong?

“Is work more important than your life here?!” his Dad shouts angrily. “Than your family? You’re never home, always busy travelling, and when you are here you barely make time for Jaemin and Haseul! It wasn’t until I said they made dinner for us that you even felt bad about missing a family meal!”

“I’m not having this argument again, Chanyeol!” his Appa yells back, and Jaemin can hear them clearly now, blowing up at each other in the kitchen. “You are not bringing this up again, you know how important this business deal is.” 

“More important than your family?!”

“You are so – every time, it’s impossible, you’re impossible! How many times do I have to tell you, I stay in the city because it takes over an hour to drive back down here! There's no point in driving down if I have a flight to Seoul the next morning, when I’m already fucking tired after working my goddamn ass off in New York all week!”

“How important is it? How much more important is it than being here spending time with your family!?” Dad argues. “You act like all the time you spend flying to New York and Seoul doesn’t affect this family but it does, and your constant denial–”

“You mean like how I am constantly in denial about the fact that you don’t love me anymore?!” Appa says. “That you’re having an affair behind my back?! I see how you look at Jongdae, I hear from Yixing about how much time you two spend together, I’m not a fucking idiot–”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!” Dad screams as he slams his hands on the table, and the sound makes Jaemin wince. He and Haseul thought that an anniversary dinner would help ease the tension between them. But it had only made things worse.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! How many times?! How many times do I have to tell you that Jongdae is nothing more than a friend!? He’s married with a wife and a kid, for fuck’s sake! What the hell is wrong with you, accusing me of having an affair with him?!”

“Then why?! Why are you always hanging out with him, going to his house for teacher socials even when it’s just you and him?! Or when we actually do have time together, you spend more time talking to him at them than you do me–”

“Do you not trust me?” Dad spits out. “I trust you when you’re off in New York and Seoul all the time, when for all I know, you could be the one having an affair behind my back. You can’t even put in the effort to be a good husband and a good father–”

“How am I not being a good father, Yeol? HOW?!” Appa shouts. “You say I’m not being a good father?! I’m working my ass off to make sure we can provide for Haseul and Jaemin! To make sure they have enough money for college funds and for their savings! How the fuck can you accuse me of being a bad father?! How dare you fucking accuse me of that!”

“I could say the same thing about you accusing me of cheating,” Dad says with heart-wrenching hurt in his voice. “You know how much I love you, Baek. How much I love our family. And the fact that you would even think that I’m cheating on you, let alone with Jongdae, is so fucking low of you. I’m as busy as you are with work, but I still invest time and effort to make sure Jaemin and Haseul are okay.”

“That’s not fair. You know how busy my job is right now. You knew this, you knew how much more travel I’d have to do when I got this promotion,” Appa argues. “And if you hate it so much, then why did you act like it was the best thing to happen for our family–”

“STOP IT!” Dad shouts. “Stop it. I’ve had it. If you think your job isn’t affecting our family’s life at home, fine. If you think you’re doing enough, fine. But just know that you’re not.”

“How dare you say that. You’re accusing me of being a bad father? When I do so much for this family? You have some fucking nerve, acting like I’m not a good father for them! I can’t believe this. Fuck you, Chanyeol.”

“No, you know what I can’t believe?” Dad says angrily, sounds like he’s on the verge of tears. “That you still don’t get it. No matter how much money you make, it will never replace the empty space you leave in this family. When you’re not here for Haseul’s graduation ceremony. For Jaemin’s surf competition. For the anniversary dinner they made for us. All these things you’re missing with this family, the same one you say you love? Don’t say you love this family when you constantly choose your work over them.”

He gets a text from Yeri – she’s outside, whenever he’s ready.

Jaemin tunes out their fight, grabs his keys and wallet, and silently sneaks out his bedroom window. He ducks underneath the kitchen window so they don’t see him and realize he’s been home the whole time.

It’s ironic. In the movies, teenagers sneak out the window to avoid getting in trouble with their parents. Doesn’t want to get caught in the crossfire of anger. Not when he’s still processing Jeno’s anger towards all of them.

«««

Jaemin raced behind Renjun on the trail, running up the steep incline as pure adrenaline fuels them. Yeri sprinted in front of him as Renjun led them up the hills.

“JENO!” Renjun shouted. “JENO!!!”

They kept running, faster and faster and faster until they ran out of steam. Slowing down, trying to catch their breaths as they all keeled over, exhaling heavily. Yeri looked like she was about to faint.

“We’re...almost...there,” Renjun panted heavily as he gasped for air, trying hard to stand up straight. “You guys..come on. We have to...we have to save Jeno.”

_Jeno._

It was like hearing his name snapped them out of exhaustion, spurred them forwards as they kept running up the trail to get to Jeno.

»»»

“Thanks for picking me up, Yeri,” Jaemin mumbles, staring out the window. “Save It For Later” by The English Beat plays on the speakers. Awful feelings wash inside of him as their venomous words keep replaying in his head, numbing his brain. He wishes he hadn’t heard them.

“It’s okay, Jaem,” Yeri tries massaging the tension out of his shoulder. “I get it. It always sucks whenever parents fight.”

“I just...I don’t understand,” he sighs, unable to look at Yeri as he continues staring off into the distance. He’s afraid that if he looks at Yeri, he’ll start crying. “I thought...I thought making dinner for their anniversary would make things better. But it just...it just made things worse–”

“Hey, come on,” Yeri replies softly. “What you did was a nice thing. How your dads reacted to you and Haseul making them an anniversary dinner, that's not your fault. You didn’t know all that would happen.”

“I know, I just...I wish...I wish he didn’t have to be away all the time,” Jaemin says. “I know it’s his job, Yeri, but him being away all the time for work...it makes everything so much worse. I can tell that my Dad isn’t taking it really well.”

“I’m sorry, dude,” Yeri says. “I really am.”

“It’s okay,” Jaemin replies. “It’s not your fault they’re fighting.”

«««

“OH MY GOD, JENO!” Yeri screamed as they ran towards him.

Like in the picture they received, Jeno was lying on the ground unconscious. The three of them rushed over, to check–

His breathing was shallow.

“Jeno, come on dude, please, please wake up,” Jaemin yelled hysterically as he shook Jeno, trying to get him back to consciousness. “Please, Jeno, please, please, please, come on dude!”

“Fuck, what do we do?” Renjun cried. “Fuck, fuck, what do we do, fuck, what do we do, what do we do?”

“Jeno, please, please wake up, please,” Yeri said as tears welled up in her eyes, desperately hoping Jeno would wake up. “Please Jeno, please, be okay!”

»»»

Yeri and Jaemin walk into Cat’s Corner during the late afternoon, the glowering sun shining above. While the rest of the coffee shop buzzes with activity and conversation, a solemn air hangs over their heads. Kun waves at the two of them.

“Hey, Yeri! Hey, Jaemin! How’s it going?” he says.

Jaemin forms a fake smile for appearance’s sake, flicks on the charm like a light switch. “It’s going good, Kun! How’s your day been so far?”

“Not bad! Been a bit busy this morning but it’s all good,” Kun smiles back. “What can I get started for you two?”

“One matcha latte, please,” Yeri says. 

“Phrenic, please.”

“Extra two shots of espresso, right?” Kun asks.

“Actually, four this time.”

“Jaemin,” Yeri says curtly. “You really need to watch your caffeine intake. It’s a bad habit.”

“I will, just not today,” he shrugs. “Maybe it’ll help put me in a better mood.”

“Coffee does that for you sometimes,” Kun agrees. “Anything else?”

“Oh, and one of the frangipanes too, please,” Jaemin says, pointing to one in the glass case.

“ _Jaemin_.”

“Make it two.”

Yeri gives him a disapproving glance, but she doesn’t press further. Kun finishes putting in their orders on the register. “Alright, total will be $10.31!”

«««

Jeno gasped as his eyes jolted open and he inhaled heavily, his breathing haggard. He was heaving, his chest convulsing, his entire body shaking. 

“Jeno, oh my god, oh my god,” Yeri said as she hugged him upright, “you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay. Thank god you’re okay.”

“What-what happened?” Jeno said with twinges of uncertainty, eyes still a bit glazed over. “What...did I die? I’m...I’m alive, right?”

“You’re alive, you’re alive,” Renjun cried as he hugged Jeno too, but Jaemin noticed how Jeno flinched a little when Renjun went in to embrace him.

Jaemin went to pick up Jeno’s phone from the ground. But something else caught his attention.

“Jeno, what were you laying on?” he asked tensely.

“What?” Jeno looked behind his shoulder.

And then the other three saw it.

It was another “Greetings from Los Angeles” postcard. It was lying on top of a flyer for Indiana University. 

Jaemin picked them up. The flyer had a mailing address, specifically for one Mark Lee. The postcard did not. Instead of an address and a note, on the back of the postcard the following words were written:

**Are we Out Of The Woods yet,  
** **Jaemin?**

Jaemin felt something bad clawing its way up his chest.

»»»

After getting their drinks, they take a seat near an open air window. Sunlight shines through, condensation building on their cups as they wait. Besides Kun, Cat’s Corner is filled with twenty-somethings typing on laptops and senior citizens conversing with lukewarm cups of black coffee.

“So...will you tell Jeno what you know?” Yeri asks.

Jaemin tenses, sips a bit more urgently on his Phrenic, then sighs after. They’re going to have to talk about this, so might as well get it over with.

“I don’t know, Yeri,” Jaemin says, barely loud enough that she can hear. “You saw how pissed he was when he found out you two kept secrets from him. He’s going to...he’s going to hate me, if he finds out I kept stuff that could’ve helped with finding Mark.“

“But if you don’t tell him, and someone else does…” Yeri pauses, taking a contemplative sip from her matcha latte. “He’s going to be pissed either way, Jaem. You have to tell him soon.”

“How?” Jaemin replies. “How am I supposed to tell him, when he won’t even talk to us? You heard what he said back there.”

«««

“What...what does the postcard say?” Yeri said.

“Are we...are we out of the woods yet, Jaemin?” Jaemin repeated the words weakly.

“What does that mean?” Renjun said. “Why’s it addressed to you?”

“I don’t...I don’t know,” Jaemin said, “I guess...I don’t know, Jeno, is this like what happened to you? You got Mark’s postcard from the mystery girl?”

It was as if Jaemin’s words were a trigger for Jeno.

“Wait,” Jeno said, standing up fast, shaking a bit. Renjun tried steadying him, but Jeno pulled away, seeming unhappy with Renjun. “She was here.”

“What?”

“She was here,” Jeno repeated. “I...I saw her running on the trail that led here. And then I lost her, but not before...not before I got... _Jaemin._ ”

Jaemin’s heart raced hearing his name in that tone of voice. Jeno usually didn’t get upset, but his simmering intensity couldn’t have been mistaken for anything else.

“Give me my phone,” he said.

Jaemin placed it in Jeno’s palm.

He opened his phone, glared at Renjun, and then spat out six words.

“What the hell is this, Renjun?”

»»»

Yeri doesn’t respond, instead looks behind him alarmedly. He turns around, expecting maybe to see Renjun or Jeno.

It’s neither. It’s Jungwoo and Yuta, both of whom have just walked into Cat’s Corner. 

“So, how’s your love life?” Yeri smiles as she changes topics, puts on a friendly smile. Like they’re having a pleasant, normal conversation. “Anyone who’s caught your heart lately, _Nana_?”

 _Normal._ Jaemin doesn’t even know what he should consider normal anymore. His point of reference has been so eschewed since this all started. A normal summer is going to the beach, or driving late at night, or partying with your friends.

Or maybe that’s what’s expected, not what’s normal. But then what is normal?

«««

In his text messages, Jeno had a picture of Mark, Renjun, and Haechan in the exact same field they stood in. They see the text with the picture attached.

**Unknown Number:** _They don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you._

Renjun froze, like he was a deer caught in the headlights. Jaemin and Yeri looked at each other. Neither of them knew that Renjun, Haechan, and Mark had taken a picture here. Which meant Renjun and Mark knew about this place. And apparently, so did the mystery girl Jeno had chased this morning.

And if the mystery girl knew all their secrets, then…

Jaemin knew he shouldn’t have deleted it.

“What the hell is this, Renjun?” Jeno repeated, no warmth to his tone, and it sent a chill down Jaemin’s spine, hearing Jeno’s voice like that.

“When...when, how did you get that?” Renjun said, voice barely above a whisper.

“I got it right before I got knocked out,” Jeno said. “I was running this morning to calm my nerves, but then I saw the mystery girl, and chased her up here. And then I got this text, and then someone strangled me so I’d pass out. Either that, or they tried to kill me.”

He paused.

“Guess they failed,” he said.

A tense quiet followed. Lingered in the air, clung to their skin, felt burning to the touch but so icy, so cold and forlorn. It was scary, hearing how detached Jeno sounded. Like he was full of unbridled anger, was completely callous to feeling anything else.

“Jeno...I...I can explain,” Renjun began, but that was a mistake, because no matter what any of them said, there was no going back from where they came.

“Explain _what_?” Jeno said. And they all heard it, the bite to each word, the low roil of rage twisting itself further into Jeno’s heart. “Explain what, Renjun? That you knew about this place up here? And you came here with Mark and Haechan? But you acted like you had no idea what I was talking about two days ago?”

“Jeno...it’s just...it’s complicated, really, really–”

“You knew,” Jeno didn’t even give him a chance to explain. “You knew about this... this place, with Mark, and Haechan, and you...why? Why did you never tell us?”

“There was just never a right time, Jeno,” Renjun tried, but Jeno’s lips drew tighter, his frown sharper, his eyes darker. “I didn’t...I didn’t have any reason to bring any of this up–”

“Why? Because this place was some secret that only you and Mark and Donghyuck knew about?” Jeno’s voice rose. “Why? Why was I led here, and then texted this picture of you? What happened here, Renjun?”

“Jeno–”

“Why was I sent this picture of you with Mark?” Jeno said harshly.

»»»

Jaemin takes another casual sip of his iced Phrenic. “No, there’s not really anyone I’m currently interested in,” Jaemin replies.

That’s a lie, and they both know it. But no one likes to tell the truth, when all it takes is one misstep for it to badly hurt.

Still, Yeri keeps tugging on the heartstrings he has for him. “Are you sure?” Yeri tries to ease him into opening up about it. “I know...we talked about–”

“I don’t know how to feel about him at the moment,” Jaemin says curtly.

Yeri looks dismayed. “I don’t think that’s fair of you to say, when we’re both in the same position as him, but you’re still okay with me, right?”

“But the difference is that you told me the truth,” Jaemin replies. “We told each other the truth. Renjun...he should have told somebody. He should have told me. But he didn’t. And if...if he didn’t want to tell the truth about the meadow, then...why would he even be honest about his feelings at all?”

But Jaemin feels like that’s low, even for him, because if anything, he’s in an even worse position, because Renjun was forced to tell his truth. Jaemin still has no idea how much time he has before the clock runs out, and he can’t keep trying to bury it.

“Hey Jungwoo,” Yeri waves, and Jaemin turns around and waves at him and Yuta. 

“Hey, Yuta!” he says.

Jungwoo flashes Yeri a wide smile and waves back, Yuta throws him a peace sign with a subtle smirk before they exit the coffee shop together. Then Yeri returns back to the conversation.

“But don’t you think you’re being unfair, asking him to be honest with you when you’re not being honest with him either?” Yeri says. “About your secrets or your feelings?”

“But that’s different. I can’t just...if he doesn’t want to talk about how he feels about me, then why should I talk about how I feel about him?”

“You don’t know that, Jaemin. You don’t know what he wants,” Yeri says. “The same way I don’t know what Mark actually wanted to do that night.”

Jaemin sighs. 

He’s only upset with Renjun because he’s mad at himself. Projecting everything onto Renjun is easier than admitting he’s also screwed up, making the exact same mistakes.

«««

“We...we used to come here,” Renjun said slowly. “We would come here and just...well, talk. About stuff. Or hang out. And go hiking in the trails. That’s all.”

They could all tell that wasn’t the whole truth.

“No that’s not all,” Jeno said, fists balled tightly in his palms. “Just tell me the truth, Renjun. Why can’t you tell me that?”

Renjun didn't say anything.

“Did you do all of this?” Jeno said, incensed with lividness. “Did you–did you set all this up? Are you the one who’s behind all of this? Was everything you told me a lie, just so that I’d trust you? Did you do something to Mark, Renjun? Did you?”

Renjun stared hard at the ground. “We came because we got a text–”

“What the hell did you do to Mark? _Where is he_?” Jeno said, and it made Jaemin shiver with how furious he sounded.

“Jeno, stop,” Yeri said. “He’s telling the truth, we came up here because someone sent us a picture of you knocked out, don’t be mad at–”

“Don’t be mad?” Jeno repeated icily. “I don’t care how you found me, I have every right to be mad when–when he kept this from me and he still can’t tell me the truth–”

“Because the truth can hurt, Jeno,” Jaemin jumped in to defend Renjun. “Just...look, we don’t know what Renjun and Mark did up here either, but just give them both a chance to explain themselves, Jeno. Sometimes people don’t tell the truth–”

“ _Them_?” Jeno said. “Wait, what do you mean _them_ , what do you…”

Jeno looked even more hurt realizing what that meant, staring at Yeri with an agonizing betrayal in his eyes. Jaemin kicked himself, hating that he’d done that stupid thing again, speaking without thinking of the consequences of the truth.

It was why he was so afraid to tell it.

“Do you know something too, Yeri?” Jeno said. “You...you knew something, this whole time, about what happened to Mark?”

“I know…” Yeri struggled with finding where to start, “Look, I know you’re mad, and upset, but please understand, Mark had stuff that he–”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Jaemin?” Jeno looked him straight in the eye. “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew–”

“I didn’t know, I didn’t, I didn’t,” Jaemin stammered, his body shaking. “I just...she only told me this morning, I didn’t know about–”

“I can’t believe this,” Jeno choked on his words, abject agony written across his expression. “I can’t believe–you, you both _knew_ something that might help bring them figure out why Mark went missing and you–neither of you told anyone?”

Even though Jeno wasn’t talking to him, Jaemin felt his chest tighten uncomfortably.

“Did you all do something to him?” Jeno said, eyes shimmering like glass threatening to shatter at any moment. “Did you all do something to Mark? Is that why this is happening to me? I get these–these stupid texts, and all this stupid stuff happening, because you guys–”

“You know we’d never do anything to hurt Mark,” Yeri said. “Please, Jeno, you have to trust us when we say that.”

“How?! How can I even trust you?!” Jeno said, voice rising and cracking like ice from a glacier. “How can I trust you when you knew something about Mark this whole time, and didn’t even say anything?! Can I even trust you, Jaemin? Do you know something too!?”

It had hurt Jaemin, hearing them talk. He didn’t know if it hurt more because Yeri’s trust in him was wrong, or because Jeno’s intuition was right.

“I drove Mark home that night, remember?” Yeri tried pleading with Jeno. “I tried calling him so many times after you called and told me you thought he’d gone missing–”

“And I called you because I thought, I thought you guys were my best friends too, until, just, I–why? Why, Yeri? Why! Why are you guys keeping secrets from me?” Jeno said. “Why are you still keeping secrets from me when Mark could finally be found–”

“Because they’re not our place to tell,” Renjun said, breaking his silence. “And telling them won’t bring Mark back.”

All three of them turned to look at Renjun.

“What?”

“This place was...these things, they're Mark's secrets, stuff he didn't want anyone to know about,” Renjun sighed. “That’s why...Jeno...we can’t. They’re not...I just...I’m sorry we kept all this from you but...some things just...you thought Mark was a good person, Jeno.” 

Jeno only stared hard at the ground. “What are you saying, Renjun.”

“Mark...Mark wasn’t always a good person. And it’s not...it’s not fair of me to speak ill–”

“Don’t–”

“Sorry, fuck, I-I mean, talk...talk bad...not when...especially if Mark isn’t–”

“DON’T!” Jeno yelled, and they all flinched, because this wasn’t him, Jeno never raised his voice towards them. “Don’t...don’t say, don’t say he’s…”

He couldn’t complete that sentence, too frightened of where it finished.

»»»

“What did the police ask you?” Jaemin changes the conversation. Seeing Yuta with Jungwoo has reminded him that they’re both friends with Jaehyun, whose father had called Yeri down to the police station two days ago.

“You mean Officer Jung?” Yeri says dryly, waving him off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But what did he ask?” he asks, knowing fully well that if something had gone wrong, Yeri would have already mentioned it.

“He just asked me some more questions about where I was that night. I told him the same thing I said a year ago, all I did was drop Mark off. And then…”

“And then?”

“And then he asked me if I knew where you four were that night,” she sighs. “I already told him that you were all at a movie, and your Dad picked you up. And that your parents all confirmed your alibis. But I don’t know...maybe Renjun was right. Maybe this is a game, because they suspect we might know something.”

“Well...we do, technically,” Jaemin says, heart beating faster and faster in his chest. “You knew about Mark and Haechan, and I...you know about the voicemail now.”

“Jaemin, it’s not your fault that you deleted it,” Yeri shakes her head. “You had no idea...you had no idea Mark was going to get in as much trouble as he did. You didn’t know that he’d go missing after he left that voicemail.”

“But I just…”

He hesitates. 

«««

“I need to go,” Jeno said. “I need...I just want to be alone.”

“Jeno, wait–”

“Don’t,” Jeno cut him off, moving away from the three of them. “I don’t want to talk to any of you anymore.”

“Jeno, you just have to calm down,” Jaemin said. “Please. Just...calm down, you have to–”

“No, you don't have any right to tell me to calm down!” Jeno exclaimed, and they all flinched again, all felt that awful sensation welling up inside each of them. “I can’t...I can’t believe you guys. This could’ve...Mark could’ve been found by now, if you had just–if you had just told the police what you both know.”

“Jeno–”

“I can’t believe this,” Jeno said between anguished breaths, his entire chest convulsing with pain. “You...you will never understand what it’s like to lose a brother, Renjun.”

It was only the smallest pause before the biggest blow.

“But what the hell would you know about that? You don’t have any siblings to care about.”

Jaemin and Yeri both recoiled hearing Jeno say that. They all knew how much Renjun struggled with being the only child of a single mother. It was why he relied so much on his friends.

They had never, ever heard Jeno talk so menacingly before, a spiteful anger to his words.

“I’m going home,” Jeno said, voice cracking like ice shattering on top of a lake. “I don’t want to talk to any of you.”

And then he began walking away, starting to sprint as he got further from them. Jaemin saw Jeno’s right arm reach up to his face to wipe away tears. He knew how hurt Jeno was, wished he could do something to help him, comfort him.

But Mark’s disappearance had changed Jeno. Had changed all of them. And now, they were all realizing the extent of that.

Yeri tried running after him, but Jaemin grabbed onto her wrist before she could go further. She turned back to look at him with surprise, and he could only shake his head solemnly.

»»»

_They don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you._

That’s what the text said. 

But Jaemin doesn’t know if he’s ready to stop keeping.

“I’m not going to rat you out like that, Jaemin,” Yeri says, taking another sip of her matcha latte. “You know how I feel about doing that.”

“Snitches get stitches, bitches,” he nods.

“And even if I did, what good would that do? What’s done is done. You deleted Mark’s voicemail because you thought he was just out of it at Yuta and Johnny’s party.”

“I didn’t...I didn’t know he wasn’t at the party that night,” Jaemin says. “I just...I thought he was just being paranoid, or something.”

It’s not the whole, honest truth. But Jaemin’s too scared of how much that will actually hurt.

“It’s okay, Jaemin,” Yeri replies. “We all do stupid things. Maybe I’m doing something stupid, not telling the police about us getting weird texts, and what’s happening to us. Maybe it’s stupid, believing Renjun when he said we might be getting framed or set up, if we go to the police. Maybe Jeno was right. Maybe Renjun is the one doing all of this.”

Even Yeri doesn’t look convinced saying that about Renjun.

“I don’t know why I said that,” Yeri sighs. “I know Renjun’s not behind this. He was so angry when he saw I’d gotten that package.”

“The one with Mark’s DS and sweater?”

“Yeah,” she says. “And maybe I should’ve turned it in, but something tells me Renjun is right.”

“About this being a game?”

“Yeah,” she sighs again. “Maybe this is all just a game. And maybe one of the rules is to play, and all this...it only stays between us. I mean, why else are we getting this stuff, not the police?”

“But I don’t get...what’s the game here, Yeri?” Jaemin says frustratedly. “Why is this happening to us? If whoever this is, messing with us, if they genuinely cared about Mark, they would have given everything to the police. Instead, they’re giving it to us. Possibly to frame us for something we didn’t do. And why? What the hell did we even do to deserve this?”

“I don’t know, Jaem,” Yeri says. “You’re asking the wrong person. But if I had to guess...it’s so complicated because _we_ have to figure it out, and not the police.”

“But why? What would we be able to figure out that the police can’t? What the hell would we know about solving a missing person case?”

“I don’t know, Jaemin.”

“And Mark had other friends besides us. Hell, we didn’t even hang out with him the day he went missing. That was you, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Lucas at the beach with him. So why us? Why us, not them?” Jaemin says.

“I think you and I both know why,” Yeri answers, staring at him with shrewd eyes. “Whoever sent you that page from Mark’s journal knows why, too.”

_They’ll always support me no matter what. And if I come back, that they’ll have my back._

***

After Yeri drops him off, Jaemin finds Dad sitting alone at the kitchen table. “Hey, Dad,” Jaemin greets him.

“Jaemin, hey! Where have you been?” Dad says pleasantly, as if nothing happened earlier.

“Oh, nothing much. I got some coffee with Yeri today, just talked and hung out at Cat’s Corner until she had to go to work.”

“You know what I’ve told you about drinking those Phrenic drinks, Jaemin,” Dad says sternly. “At least try to limit the number of shots you have in them. It’s not good for your heart.”

“I know, I know,” he tries dismissing Dad’s concerns. “It’s whatever.”

Dad pauses. “Did you eat yet? All that caffeine on an empty stomach is bad for you.”

“No, I was just going to eat some cereal, to be honest. Why?”

“I’m going to get some dinner with Haseul in Santa Cruz if you want to join us,” Dad says. “We’re going to this new place, it’s this Italian restaurant called Simone’s? Apparently Haseul went there on a second date with someone, and she said she wanted to have a family dinner there.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, she had a date there with Mingyu,” Jaemin recalls. “I guess it didn’t go well if she wants to go again with us instead of him.”

“It’s because she was raised by two incredible men, and a handsome brother too, so she knows a catch when she sees one,” Dad jokes. Jaemin grimaces but is happy to hear Dad talk about appa affectionately, even in passing.

“Will _appa_ be there too?” Jaemin asks hopefully. 

Seeing Dad’s smile disappear at the mention of him makes Jaemin’s heart sink. “Ah, well... _appa_ is really busy, at the moment,” Dad says, pretending that everything is okay when Jaemin knows it’s not. “So it’ll just be me and Haseul, if that’s okay with you?”

“Oh. Okay.”

“If you have plans with your friends, I understand,” Dad adds hastily. “Haseul wanted to spend some one-on-one time with her old man, but you’re also invited to come too!”

“You’re not that old,” Jaemin replies. “Yeah, I’m down for Italian food with you and Haseul. Let me just change really quick into something less...well, this.” He gestures to his sweatpants.

The smile on Dad’s face makes it all worth it. “Okay, yeah, let’s go in ten minutes?”

***

Jaemin doesn’t expect to see Taeil at dinner.

Upon entering Simone’s Italian Kitchen with Haseul and Dad, they spotted him sitting at a table with three other people, all dressed in fashionable casual summer clothing.

Dad makes small-talk introductions with Taeil, and Jaemin and Haseul stand next to him out of respect and awkward politeness. Taeil introduces his coworkers.

“This is Minho Choi, the executive in charge of the project that Baekhyun’s leading, and his wife, Yoona. And this is one of our consultants for Kim Label, Irene.”

Jaemin’s heart rate spikes upon hearing the name.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Minho Choi responds cordially. “You’re Baekhyun’s partner, correct?”

Dad’s smile tightens. “Yep, that’s me! He’s busy right now though – I’m sure you know, that whole deal he’s working on for _your_ company,” he plays it off, even though Jaemin knows that’s not the truth. Haseul only glances at Dad awkwardly, unaware of what’s happened.

“Your partner is a hard worker,” Yoona notes politely. “You know, Irene here almost poached him over to the fashion side of things.”

“I really did,” Irene laughs airily. “We were going to start our spring collection – Prive, I think we were going to call it? And needed some work with opening it as a pop-up store at three locations, plus the launch event in Beverly Hills.”

“She even offered him a higher salary plus the chance to work on the business end with the shareholders, and even the promise to design a piece for the collection,” Minho adds. “But nope! Junmyeon got him that business deal with the twelve percent increase to his salary and added benefits for his 401k.” 

Irene smiles contemplatively. “I guess money really does talk.”

Jaemin’s phone buzzes in his pocket. This feels uncannily familiar.

“Oh, well that’s...great to hear,” Dad says tightly. “I’m glad you see as much talent in him as I do...er, thank you. Well, we won’t keep you. Hope you enjoy your dinner.”

“As do you!” Taeil responds politely, and then Dad leads them over to their table.

Jaemin can’t shake off the anxiety in his chest.

Is this woman Irene?

Is she who Mark wrote?

Is she who Jeno saw at his office? On the trails?

No, he’s being irrational. Why the hell would Mark send a postcard from Los Angeles to a working professional in San Francisco? How the hell would Mark even know her?

Wait.

_I went to the farmer’s market today with her. Got some strawberries from Taeil, she recommended them to me._

“Wow, everything sounds really good! What are you gonna order, Haseul?” Dad asks.

 _When I ran into Jaemin at the farmer’s market, and he told me about how he was hanging out with Hyuck and Yeri, it made me feel like I was doing something wrong._

Jaemin’s phone goes off in his pocket.

“Well, last time I came here, Mingyu got the wild mushroom and kale ravioli, that was really good!” Haseul says. “I liked it a lot more than the carbonara I got.”

In the journal entry, Mark had referred to Taeil by his first name. Why? Did he know him?

“Hmmm, I think I’ll get the chicken parmesan, that’s always a foolproof choice,” Dad says enthusiastically. “Do you want me to order one of those mushroom raviolis for the table though? We could all split it?”

_Mistakes affect other people I guess, not just yourself._

When he’d gotten Mark’s journal entry, there were two business cards for Taeil Moon taped to the back. Why?

“Do you wanna share the ravioli, Jaemin?” Haseul asks.

Jaemin’s phone buzzes back and forth in his pocket.

Why does the room feel so hot?

He doesn’t want to check his phone.

“Do you wanna share the ravioli with me and Haseul, Jaemin?” Dad says. 

He checks his phone.

**Squirtle🐢** [just now]: _Talking to Jeno later tonight.  
  
_ **Sana-chan🤙** [just now]: _Let’s get it_ 🤩🤪🌊  
**Sana-chan🤙** [1 min ago]: _u better come dude u haven’t surfed with us since comps!!_ ᅌwᅌ  
**Sana-chan🤙** [1 min ago]: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
**Sana-chan🤙** [1 min ago]: _Yuta told me ur coming surfing tomorrow?!  
_ **Sana-chan🤙** [2 min ago]: _JAEMINNNNNNN!!!!_

 **Yuta-hyung🏄** [4 min ago]: _Yo, surf 2moro morning? me + sana + wonwoo gonna catch some waves_

 **Injun-ang🦊** [4 min ago]: _We need to talk. 10:30. Vending Machine._

“Hey, Jaemin, come on, no phones at the table,” Dad says brusquely.

Everything’s happening too fast, this is all happening too fast.

“It’s too much,” Jaemin thinks out loud. “It’s all too much.”

He needs his friends.

“Oh come on, is it too much to ask you to put your phone away for dinner?” Dad says.

“I need to talk to him.”

Haseul and dad give him a funny look. “Sorry, uh...what do you mean by that?” Haseul stares at him confusedly.

How the hell is he supposed to get through this dinner without them?

His phone goes off again.

He needs to tell them everything. Truth hurts, but it’s better than living in lies. Because all he’s done is watch his lies grow into clouds and whirls he can’t control.

“Hey, sorry, I gotta use the bathroom,” he excuses himself suddenly from the table, as he gets up and walks towards the men’s room.

He locks himself in a stall, steadies himself, reminds his brain that he has to breathe, and then checks his phone again. But now, there’s another message waiting for him, this one newest.

**Unknown Number:** _Simon says keep playing the game, and soon Jaemin gets to know his real name._

* * *

“Get out of the car,” Irene said.

“Irene–”

“ _NOW,_ ” she said harshly. “This isn’t up for debate, Mark.” She opened the car door and jolted him out by the hem of his hoodie. Then she grabbed his duffel bag and threw him his backpack.

“Irene–”

“Do _not_ argue with me,” she said stonily, incensed as she dragged him away as they walked briskly onto the street, away from the parking lot.

“Irene, what the hell–”

“No, what the hell _you_ , Mark,” she said angrily, putting his duffel bag in the back of a car. “Get in the car. We’re going for a drive.”

“But–”

“Don’t argue with me, Mark,” she said. Mark obeyed, sitting down in the passenger’s seat.

She turned on the car and sped out of the parking lot. “Your dinner’s behind your seat.”

Mark looked down at his feet and saw – it was a brown paper takeout bag, smelled like a cheeseburger and fries. But Mark was in no mood to eat.

Irene unleashed her wrath thirty seconds into the quiet of the night.

“Just, what the _hell_ were you thinking, Mark?!” she said furiously. “What the actual fucking hell were you thinking?”

It was worse than getting a scolding from Mom. Because Irene wasn’t held back by a mother’s love for her son.

“When I said I would help you skip town, all I said was meet me at the train station, and ignore any texts from Simon,” she said. “Get Joy and Jaehyun to drive you to the station, just leave everything behind here in Journey. Are you fucking kidding me, Mark?!”

“I’m not an idiot,” Mark defended himself, rupturing anger rising in him. Because Irene thought he was being stupid. And maybe she was right, because Irene knew more about dealing with bad people, more than he did. But he didn’t want to be wrong about this. “That’s not fair, I’m–”

“What’s not fair?” Irene cut him off dangerously. “How can you be so callous with your own life? You have no idea what Simon’s intentions are.”

He hated that his decisions were being questioned, like he had made a stupid decision. “I was only going to ask Joy and Jaehyun to drop me off at River Ravine for a bit, before I met up with you at the station, just to meet–”

“You think you could just tell me you were meeting Simon,” Irene said flatly, “this _creep_ , this fucking psychopath? You thought you could just tell me you wanted to confront Simon tonight, and I’d be okay with it, no questions asked?”

“But I have to do this alone,” Mark said. “It’s only me he’s after.”

No one else was supposed to pay for his mistakes. Only him.

“You don’t know that!” Irene exclaimed harshly. “For all you know, he could be messing with your friends too. You don’t know anything about him, Mark.”

“And you do?” Mark argued back, heat rising up angrier in his chest. “What the hell do you know, Irene?! You only know what I’ve told you about him.”

“No, I don’t. I know more than that.”

“Then what? What the hell do you know that I don't?!”

It was only a temporary pause before a permanent blow.

“Simon left a present for Renjun in the mailbox.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Renjun wants to talk, but not just with Jaemin.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)   
>  [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)   
>  [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	12. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun knows nothing will be there. But he has to check.

Renjun feels like the world hates him as much as he hates himself. 

After Jeno abandoned them on the hill, he, Yeri, and Jaemin had walked back to his house in tense silence, save for two questions gone unanswered. 

“Why did Jeno get that picture of you and Mark?” Yeri said.

“Why didn't you tell us?” Jaemin asked. 

The first time they’d asked, Renjun had no answer because he didn't know what to say.

The second and last time, as they were walking back, Renjun still had none because he felt as lost as they were. And right before they left, Jaemin stood outside the passenger door, expecting an answer, but Renjun still had no idea what to tell him.

“You know...you can talk to me about anything,” Jaemin said, his soft gaze burning his insides. “We all have stuff that we should've told Jeno. And I feel–”

“I don't care how you feel or what you think,” he’d snapped before he could take it back.

Recoil, then aversion rooted itself in Jaemin’s expression as his eyes hardened into detached reprobation. 

“Oh.”

“Wait, I didn't mean–”

“Later, Injun,” Jaemin said as he got in the car and shut the door. Yeri began driving off. 

That had been almost a week ago. 

And that hadn't been how Renjun wanted to leave things between them.

But a week later and the four of them still aren’t talking. So this morning, he’d gone to the tennis team’s first summer practice, had hung out instead with Jungwoo, Joy, Seungkwan, Lia, and a couple of other people. Rallying back and forth in mixed doubles with Mina, Jungwoo and Heejin had been a healthy way to blow off some steam.

But it wasn’t enough.

When Renjun got home from tennis practice, he still felt tension pulling at his insides, getting him all worked up and shaky. He couldn’t stop sweating, and didn’t feel like taking a shower. Frustrated, he had huffed out a sigh and decided to head up the hill.

And that’s why he’s walking on the trail, the itching urge to check winning over. He knows nothing will be there. The mailbox has been missing for a year. But he has to check. Because if Mark is still alive, or if whoever the hell is messing with them really knows everything, then something would’ve shown up by now.

«««

It was the winter break before Mark went missing. After New Year’s Day passed, things were relatively quiet in Journey before school started again for spring semester. Renjun had invited Mark and Haechan to hang out at his place for the day, but after playing Smash for two hours, binging a couple episodes of ‘Community’, and attempting to make themselves burgers (it wasn’t a successful attempt), they’d eventually gotten bored and run out of Vine compilations to watch on YouTube.

“Hey, I have a question,” Haechan said after six minutes had passed of them just scrolling on their phones. “You know the hedge that grows on this street?”

“What about it?” Renjun said.

“Is there anything behind it?” Haechan asked.

“Uh...I don’t think so?” Renjun said. “To be honest, I’ve never really checked. It’s just the hills? All the trails and stuff are over by Mark and Jeno’s house anyways. Right, Mark?”

“Yeah,” Mark confirmed. “The hill by our house has some trails that are fun to run on. One goes to the top of the peak, there’s another one that eventually goes to the peach tree grove on Campfire Avenue.”

“So you’re telling me you never thought to explore what’s over the hedge?” Haechan said. “What if there’s like, treasure behind there or something?”

“What are we, seven?” Renjun snorted, earning him a playful shove off the couch.

“Hey, come on, it’s not like we have anything better to do,” Haechan replied. “Might as well just check what’s behind there.”

“Eh, I dunno Hyuck,” Mark said. “Aren’t there a bunch of rose bushes in front of that hedge? I don’t wanna get pricked.”

“Don’t be such a baby, Mark,” Haechan said annoyedly. “You’re a big boy now, not seven.”

»»»

Renjun keeps an amiable pace up the trail as he heads towards the meadow. He gets antsy, decides to listen to some music to soothe his nerves. “Sh Boom” by The Chords comes on shuffle. It’s the song that he, Jeno, Jaemin and Haechan used to sing in their choir class freshman year.

He sighs. He still hasn’t talked to any of them since falling out with Jeno. Probably because they couldn’t trust him anymore, couldn’t believe a word he said.

And he can’t blame them. If he was in their position, Renjun wouldn’t trust himself either. He doesn’t know what stings more – Yeri not trusting him, Jeno being angry with him, or Jaemin not saying anything at all.

He skips to the next song. It’s “Jewel Thief” by The Kills. He remembers Yeri recommending it last year over spring break.

Eventually he gets back to the meadow. It’s cooler up here than down by his house, probably due to the slight difference in elevation. He walks through the grassy field, towards the hillside, trees framing the landscape.

The tension keeps pulling at him, making his chest tighter, and he’s having a hard time controlling his breath. Nerves wracking, but why? He’s checked for the mailbox so many times, ever since Mark had gone missing. Looking for a sign that Mark is okay, that Mark is alright, that it’s not his fault Mark’s been missing because he never told anyone about the mailbox.

He hasn’t talked about it with Haechan since it’d first gone missing, the same time Mark had. He wasn’t sure if Haechan had been checking for it too, but after Yeri had gotten those texts, and told him that Mark was going to break up with him...now he suspects that Haechan might have.

«««

They hadn’t expected to find a small break in the hedge.

“Yo, wait, this part is all just branches?” Mark said confusedly as he crawled through the hedge. “Wait, yeah, guys, this part of the hedge has a hole in it! You can kinda get through it if you just crawl for a bit!”

“No way!” Haechan exclaimed excitedly, turning to face Renjun with a smug smile. “See, what’d I tell you? I knew there was something behind this hedge.”

“Oh please,” Renjun rolled his eyes, although he was more annoyed that he was wrong and Haechan was right. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Just admit that I was _right_ ,” Haechan gloated playfully.

“Like I’d ever tell _you_ that you’re right,” Renjun scoffed.

“Hey, guys, there’s a trail back here.”

That piqued both Haechan and Renjun’s attention as they turned towards the small hole in the hedge. They both scrambled to the opening, crawled under, and got back on their feet to join Mark on the other side.

Indeed, there was a trail behind the hedge. It seemed to go further up into the hills. Where, they didn’t know. But feverish anticipation swept through the winter air, and they all knew that they would soon find out.

»»»

Renjun’s choked, held-back sob drops down his throat. 

He can’t believe his eyes.

The mailbox is here. It’s the first time he’s seen the mailbox in a year, ever since Mark had gone missing.

If Mark’s alive, he'd put something in the mailbox. A note, a letter, something to indicate he was okay if he couldn’t send a text or call them. But the mailbox has been missing for over a year too. He last checked for it after he’d dropped Jeno off at his house the morning he’d found this trail, but nothing had been here.

Until now.

If Renjun’s quickening heartbeat is any indicator, he knows this has something to do with Mark. Someone’s been up here, and between the last time he’d checked and now, someone put the mailbox back. And if Haechan isn’t here to open it, then he will.

«««

“Wow,” Mark said quietly, in awe of their surroundings. “It’s so...mystical.”

On that midwinter’s day, the three of them had stumbled upon that grassy field in the middle of the forested hills of Journey. It was a bit chilly, and a good portion of the grass had died from the chill of winter. Patches of brown dotted the landscape, and snow-white clouds hung overhead.

Because the grass wasn’t as thick, Mark happened to spot something in the clearing between parts of the tree trunks.

“Guys, what’s that?”

Renjun and Haechan both looked to where Mark was pointing, and they saw it. It blended in with the grey, dull landscape, save for a tiny red dot. If you hadn't happened to be looking in that direction, you wouldn’t have caught it. How Mark had managed to spot that, Renjun still didn’t know.

“Maybe it’s a flag!” Haechan said. “Yo, what if it’s, like, one of those geocache things?”

“But why would someone leave a geocache up here?” Renjun asked skeptically. “Who would even know to come up here? No one knows this place exists.”

“Well, now we do,” Mark said excitedly as he and Donghyuck started walking over to the red dot, and then began racing faster. “Catch you later, loser!”

“Oh no, I’m definitely gonna beat you!” Haechan yelled as he raced after Mark, and not one to be left out, Renjun smiled and started running after the two of them.

»»»

Renjun walks toward the mailbox carefully, hands shaking as he approaches it. He’s nervous. What if there’s a message from Mark? Or an explanation for why all of this is happening to them this summer?

His fingers freeze around the latch. He can’t bring himself to open the mailbox. Because once he opens it, there’s no going back. Everything changes, because whatever’s in that mailbox, there’s a reason it hasn’t been put back here until now.

But why? Why now, when everything is so incredibly complicated and messy and stressful? Why now, when Mark’s been missing for over a year? Why now, when Renjun feels like this might be the only chance he can prove to Jeno and Yeri and Jaemin that he’s not the one behind this, if he also gets something like they did?

The thought makes Renjun well up with bitterness. How messed up this must be, he thinks, if getting something in the mail, getting incriminating evidence or hints that could implicate him in Mark’s disappearance, is something that he desperately wants now. To prove to his friends that they can still trust him, even if that means the rest of the world brands him a criminal.

«««

“Hey, it’s an abandoned mailbox,” Haechan said as they approached it. Definitely dilapidated, with some wear and tear on the sides, and paint had definitely faded from the original lustrous red. Haechan went to open it, and pulled out a faded, yellowing envelope.

“What do you think it is?” Mark said excitedly. “What if it’s a secret quest or something? Or like, a treasure map? Or something from the FBI?”

“Where would you even keep treasure in Journey?” Renjun said. “And why would it be from the FBI? It’s probably just a letter or something. Who knows what it says though.”

“Only one way to find out,” Haechan said craftily as he ripped open the envelope and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Mark and Renjun crowded around him to see what was written.

_To whomever may read these words:_

_If you found this letter, that means you found the secret. Read the next three sentences carefully. Every person who’s used this mailbox kept photos, letters, and secrets in it – a treasure trove of memories, if you will. Now, it’s been moved here, because someone wanted to take those memories for themselves. Either end the cycle and forget you read this, or use the mailbox as it was meant to be._

_The choice is yours. I left this mailbox here so that it wouldn’t go to waste. I won’t say who I am, because that’s how the trouble started last time. But if you choose to use the mailbox again, then follow my lead, and don’t let your memories find their way back to you. Because if they do, then that means your secrets are no longer safe here._

_Hope you’ll be the last to know._

“Well that seems...ominous,” Renjun said as he finished reading the letter. “It’s basically just saying don’t use this box, and break the cycle of using it. Come on, let’s head back down.”

“Nah, are you kidding? They totally want us to use this box!” Haechan replied excitedly.

Mark and Renjun both turned to look at him confusedly. “What?”

“Don’t you see? If the person who left this note didn’t want us to start using this mailbox again, then they wouldn’t have put the letter in here,” Haechan said. “They wouldn’t have even told us it was a treasure trove for memories. But they left a note, because they don't want the mailbox to go to waste. And I mean, of course we should use it! This is so fucking cool guys, can you imagine? It’s basically our own secret time capsule!”

“But they left a warning saying that someone might find this and take all our stuff,” Mark balked. “And if they find our stuff, then they might trace it back to us, and who knows what they would do to us.”

“Are you saying this is serial-killer bait?” Haechan said. “Come on, Mark. It’s just gonna be a fun place where we can like, put old photos or letters or whatever. Memories and secrets, like this person wrote. It can be like our treasure chest!”

“But what if the person who wrote this note comes back and sees that we’re using it? Then what? Or what if someone else finds it?” Mark said. “If we could find it here, then that means someone else would probably be able to find it too.”

“So let’s move it,” Renjun said suddenly.

They both turned to look at him. “Let’s move the mailbox,” Renjun repeated. “If someone moved this mailbox here from where it was originally, then that means we can move it too, right? So we just move the box to somewhere they won’t find it.”

Haechan’s smile grew even wider. “Let’s do it!”

“Are you sure, guys?” Mark asked. “This seems like a lot of work for just–”

“For what? This is the most exciting thing to happen over break, and we could do something with this, why not?” Haechan argued. “Come on, it’ll be fun! This is, like, our indie coming-of-age movie moment. We’re the main characters here!”

“It could just be something we do, whenever you guys come over to my place,” Renjun agreed eagerly. “I mean, why not, Mark? It’s not like any of us have super horrible secrets. We’re barely even halfway through high school, literally the worst thing that comes out of this is someone discovers your horrible secret of hating ketchup.”

“Hey!”

“Or that you wet the bed until you were seven,” Haechan teased.

“Oh my god, he did?” Renjun snorted. “Not surprised.”

“ _Donghyuck!_ ” Mark shouted flusteredly.

“Oh, or that one time when you almost accidentally kissed Johnny Suh at a party,” Renjun smirked, as he and Haechan both looked at each other devilishly.

Mark groaned. “You guys are the worst–”

“Or that one time when you got stuck in the girl’s locker room,” Haechan interrupted him.

“Or that you’re the one who keyed Ms. Zelner’s car after she gave you lunch detention for three days straight.”

“Or that you’re the one who got Jaemin that spot on the yearbook committee.”

“Or that you’re the one who stole Jihyo’s bra at the USB retreat after Jaehyun, Seungcheol and Rosé triple-dog-dared you to.”

“Or how you sleep with no pillows,” Haechan added, “I mean seriously Mark, why are you such a barbarian? You’re gonna have back problems by the time you’re twenty.”

“If you even live to twenty, at the rate you’re going,” Renjun joked.

Haechan laughed and they high-fived at that, much to Mark’s chagrin.

»»»

Inside the mailbox is an envelope. Renjun sees writing, but there is no return or delivery address. Instead, the following words are written on the front.

AH! GALVANOMETERS:

Renjun is confused. He doesn’t know what a galvanometer is. What the hell does any of that have to do with Mark? He can’t look it up on his phone – there’s not great reception up here where the trees and forest shrubbery run thick. He decides he’ll research it later. It might be a clue as to what happened with Mark.

Maybe it connected back to the mystery girl. Maybe...maybe to whomever was sending them all these things too.

He decides to save the questions for later, anxious to know what’s inside, heart racing faster than it has before. Is it going to be a postcard, like the other three had gotten? A note from the first person who left the mailbox here? What was in this envelope?

He opens it.

It’s not a postcard. It’s not an ominous threat. It’s not one of Mark’s old belongings. Instead, it’s something entirely else.

The piece of paper had been folded up neatly, with no words on it save for the following:

_M_ ISS A( **M.** ERICANA  AND T **H.)** E HEART  BREAK  PR _I_ NCE

There’s nothing else written. He turns it over – nothing. 

His mind hits a dead end.

_Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince._

What does it mean? Why is it written like that?

Who is Miss Americana? Who is the Heartbreak Prince? 

What do they have to do with Mark?

What if this has nothing to do with Mark?

Is Mark the Heartbreak Prince? 

Or is Simon?

Is Irene Miss Americana? 

Or is the mystery girl?

Renjun sighs frustratedly, feels empty, looking at the paper. He almost wants to rip it up into frustrated shreds, forget it exists, or put it back in the mailbox, never look at it again. It’s not what he wanted. He wanted...he wanted something that would prove he’s not behind this. Just because he used to keep secrets here with Mark and Haechan doesn’t mean that he’s the one behind this. Just because someone sent Jeno that picture of the three of them doesn’t mean he’s–

Haechan.

***

Renjun waits for Haechan in the coffee shop, the sun’s rays slowly fading to purplish hues in the evening twilight. He sips on lukewarm herbal tea, deciding to go for something caffeine-free, feels like he won’t be able to fall asleep tonight. Not after he talks to Haechan. 

He’s asked Haechan to meet him at Cat’s Corner, just to talk. Renjun had gotten here as Moonbyul was finishing her shift, with Dejun (who’d decided to try working here instead of the diner this summer) learning the ropes from her, since Kun would be going off to college in a couple of months. Dejun mentioned seeing Yeri and Jaemin here earlier this afternoon. Renjun could only form a tight smile in response.

He still doesn’t know how to feel about Jaemin. Why it hurts so much, that Jaemin looked so disappointed in him. Why does he want to prove to Jaemin so bad that he can trust him, even more than he does to Jeno and Yeri?

He looks around the coffee shop. There’s a couple on a date, chatting away in the summer air. An old man, probably in his sixties, reading a magazine, looked like it was The Economist. Other people, not super significant, because tonight Renjun only cares about seeing one person tonight, and he has yet to appear.

He’s been distracting himself from his thoughts, trying to research on his laptop the past couple of hours, but everything’s a dead end. Trying to search “Miss Americana”, all he finds are articles about the Americana in Glendale, California. Or pageants called the Miss Americana pageant. Shortening it to “Americana”, all he could find were the Wikipedia pages for Americana memorabilia and Americana music. And searching for “Heartbreak Prince” simply led to articles about Prince, the singer.

Currently, he’s trying to figure out if galvanometers have any connection to Mark. A quick search on his laptop has revealed that they’re a kind of instrument used for measuring electrical current. He’s trying to search the term in conjunction with “Miss Americana” and “Heartbreak Prince”, but all he gets are pages for the Americana Encyclopedia about galvanometers or princes, which is of no use to him.

He sighs frustratedly as he takes another sip of tea. Nothing about the note makes any sense. Everyone else had gotten something directly linked to Mark. Postcards. But nothing about the note links back to Mark. For all they’d know, Renjun could’ve just written those words and claimed it was connected. None of them would understand if it came from the mailbox, because none of them knew about it.

The only other person who might get it is Haechan.

And all this time, he’d thought of Haechan as someone they had to suspect, but now...now he wonders if Haechan even knows what’s happening, if he’s aware of the game they’re all being forced to play. Maybe the note _was_ meant for Haechan, and maybe he could figure out what it means.

The door opens, Renjun looks up from _Lord of the Flies_ , and there he is.

In the summer, Haechan’s hair tends to get lighter at certain parts. During the school year, it’s normally a shock of black. But with the bright glow of summer days, there’s tinges of brown and light burgundy curls, looking more earthen in color and less jet black as they fall in front of sun-kissed skin. He’s wearing sandy corduroy shorts with a bright blue graphic t-shirt with the word “Golf” written in the chest area, walking in with a pair of worn-out Converses. Renjun recalls getting him that t-shirt. He was with Yeri, down at one of the street fairs in Santa Cruz during spring break last year – they both thought it suited him well and had decided to get it for his birthday.

“Yo,” Renjun calls him over as Haechan glances his way. A mirthful smirk lights up on Haechans face. It reminds Renjun of his mischievous smile when they’d first found the mailbox, and he wanted to use it for secrets. 

If only he could tell Haechan back then how much trouble it had gotten them in now.

“What’s up, man?” Haechan says as he gives Renjun a quick hug. “How have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Yeah, it’s been awhile,” Renjun smiles tightly. 

Truth be told, he hasn’t kept up with Haechan much in the past months. Renjun isn’t sure why, but he feels like they’re drifting apart. When Jeno had asked if they wanted to hang out with Haechan a couple days ago, he technically had been busy (he was meeting with Yeri that day after Chinese club), but even if he wasn’t, he probably wouldn’t have been so inclined. Things had just felt awkward nowadays, like they were all hanging out for the sake of it.

Of course, it’s natural. Friends grow apart, life happens. Renjun knows he’s closer with his upperclassmen friends in the U Group now, and also started hanging out with Johnny and Yuta more after Mark disappeared. 

Which is why Renjun feels tense, talking to Haechan about this. They’re not as close now, and he doesn’t know what he can trust with Haechan anymore. But he has no choice. Because the only other person besides him who would understand is Mark, and Mark...Mark is the reason he’s asking Haechan in the first place.

They’ve moved to sitting in Renjun’s car, chatting idly. There’s a lull in the conversation – they’d just been catching up, sharing summer plans, talking about classmates, reminiscing on past escapades. It’s almost how everything used to be. Haechan is looking forward to the USB retreat he’s going on with Yeri at the end of July, and Renjun told him about tennis camp and how he’s enjoying that. But when they get to talking about their friend group, Haechan mentions Jeno, and it triggers the tightness in his chest.

Of course he’s aware they had hung out over a week ago, but hearing Jeno’s name, after everything had happened...it makes him remember why he asked Haechan to meet him.

After about ten or so seconds of silence, Renjun finally stops dancing around it.

“Hyuck...about Jeno...do you remember, the hills by my house?”

“Uh...yeah, sure,” Haechan says lightly, but he can tell they’re both getting anxious as he brings up the subject. “Yeah, you, me, and Mark used to hang out back there, back when we were still just freshmen. Fun times...fun times.”

Renjun just sighs deeply. He doesn’t even know where to begin, but he has to start somewhere, because no matter where this goes, it’s going to suck.

He tries hastily changing the conversation. “So did you hear about how–”

“Haechan, the mailbox came back.”

He freezes in the passenger seat. “What do you mean...what do you mean?” Donghyuck asks, but the nervousness in his voice says it all. “I thought it disappeared last year.”

“Haechan...it came back,” Renjun repeats. “The mailbox...it came back.”

His heart beats faster and faster in his chest. Why is it beating so fast? Why is he so scared? Why is he so scared that the only other person besides them who knows about the mailbox is missing?

Are they next to disappear?

“Renjun...I...I don’t understand,” Haechan says weakly, his voice wavering, and he’s never seen Haechan look this ghastly.

“Why are you...you sound scared–”

“Of-of course I’m scared!” Donghyuck yelps a bit too harshly, his words sounding less certain with each syllable. “I-I don’t know how it got there, and if it’s been missing for that long, then what the hell does–”

“Donghyuck, I need to know.”

“...What?”

“Can you help me?”

Silence.

“Haechan?”

But Haechan only tenses up, freezes even more.

“Haechan, why aren’t you saying anything? I need your help.”

There’s a feverish silence spiraling closer and closer until–

“It wasn’t my fault,” Haechan blurts out, but he sounds like he’s about to cry. “I didn’t – I only did it because I didn’t have any other choice!”

_What?_

“What are–”

“I was just told to put it in there, okay?” Donghyuck cries out. “I put it back because I had to, okay? That’s the only reason I put it there! I don’t know anything else besides that!”

_What?_

“What?”

That’s not what he thought was going to happen.

That’s not what he thought Donghyuck would say.

“Fuck, I should’ve….I’m so stupid, fuck, I should’ve told you,” Donghyuck buries his face into his hands.

“What?”

“It’s just, we haven’t talked much the past couple of months, and then I felt like we weren’t close enough anymore to–”

“No, just...what the _fuck_ ,” Renjun spits out with a tepid frustration. “You? It was _you_ that put the mailbox back there? _You’re_ the reason it’s back there?”

Haechan stares back confusedly at him. “What...what do you mean? That’s...that’s not what you wanted to talk about? But you said the mailbox–”

“I mentioned it because I thought you didn’t know, and I was going to ask if you knew it was back there,” Renjun says, words sharp enough to cut through them like a knife. “Because I found it there today. But you...you’re the one who put it back?”

“I didn’t–”

“You said you had to,” Renjun thinks back to what Haechan just said. “You just...you just said you didn’t have any other choice, you _had_ to put it back! Why? Where did you even find it?! Are you the one who left something in there?!”

“Renjun, please, you don’t–”

“No, I need to know–”

“Renjun it’s not–”

“Stop–”

“You can’t understand–”

“If you would just tell me–”

“No!” Haechan shouts, words lingering with a panicked bite to them. “You can’t understand, Renjun! Okay? I can’t tell you because you wouldn’t understand. Even I don’t understand. You wouldn’t even begin to understand what the hell has been happening this summer.”

“Was it an anonymous text?”

The fear in his eyes has never looked so alive.

”That’s what it was, wasn’t it?”

“But...how do you...how do you-wh-what the hell?” Haechan stutters out with a small, scared voice. “How the hell would you know that? Are you the one who–”

“It’s because...because you’re not the only one,” Renjun sighs deeply as he pulls out his phone. “I thought it was just me, Yeri, Jeno, and–”

“Wait, _Jeno_?” Haechan interrupts him, sounding incredulous. “Jeno got a text? And Yeri too? All three of you got texts? Since when?”

Renjun shows him one of the text messages, the one with a picture of Mark in the car.

**Unknown Number** : _Nothing good starts in a getaway car._

Donghyuck looks at the picture with tense concern. “Where did you...why did you get this photo of Mark?” he asks.

“Me and Yeri got it a couple days ago, the same day you and Jeno went to hang out,” Renjun explains. “She doesn’t recognize the car, and neither do I. I have no idea, but it’s...it’s the same date, the same hoodie Mark was wearing the night he went missing.”

Haechan stares at him, a hard expression on his face. “Someone is fucking with you, just like me...oh my god, oh my god.”

“Is this about Mark?”

“Fuck, this is so fucked up,” Donghyuck groans, slamming his hands into his face again.

“What did they text to you?” Renjun asks, anxious to know what happened to Haechan. “What...why is this happening, Haechan? What’s going on? Who’s texting you?”

“I don’t know,” Haechan shakes his head with bitter reproach, looking at his phone screen intently. “I have no idea why the fuck this is happening, Injunnie. I have no idea what’s going on. I didn’t even...fuck, I thought it was just me. I thought I was the only one going through this, but to know you’re all having this shit happen to you, too...fuck, this needs to stop.”

“But how? How do we get this to stop?” Renjun says feebly. “I’ve tried figuring it out. But I can’t, and I can’t ask them to help me...fuck, they all hate me now.”

A puzzled expression places itself on Donghyuck’s face. “What do you mean, they all hate you? You guys...we’re all...we’re all friends still, that hasn’t changed, right?”

He sighs. “I don’t know, after everything that happened last week.”

“What happened last week?”

“It’s...it’s a lot,” Renjun says. “I don’t know if I should tell you, because I’m scared...I’m scared of dragging you into this mess. This isn’t just high school drama. This is some seriously messed up stuff. Whoever’s doing this to us, it’s like they’re...they’re twisted, like they get off on cruelty.”

“Try me,” Haechan deadpans. “It can’t be any crueler than being blackmailed into putting the mailbox back on the hill.”

“Yeah, well...it’s all fucked up,” he sighs. “In more ways that one.”

He tells Haechan how things fell apart. Their plans to hang out that day, Jeno seeing the mystery girl on the trail by the mailbox, then explaining the mystery girl, the text Jeno got after seeing her. Yeri telling him about his relationship with Mark, and the picture they got at the diner afterwards. The threatening text they and Jaemin received in Yeri’s car, and how it all came to a boil when it came with Jeno knocked out on the ground.

“And because of everything that had happened...Jeno thought that I was the one who was setting all of this up,” Renjun says. “That I’m the one responsible for all this fucked up shit happening to us this summer.”

“But you’re not...are you?” Haechan says with uncertainty, subconsciously shirking back from him in the passenger seat. 

“No, I’m not,” Renjun insists, hoping the sincerity in his voice is enough to persuade Haechan, not scare him off like Jaemin and everyone else. “I’m not the one behind this. Why the hell would I text Jeno that picture of us? I was with Jaemin and Yeri, running up that hill, to try and save him. But Jeno...Jeno didn’t see things that way. So he got angry at all of us, and then he stormed off. And we...I haven’t talked to any of them since.”

“But why–”

“I never told anyone about the mailbox, Hyuck,” Renjun says. “I didn’t think I had to, because it’s been missing for a year. And what the hell would that do, telling them about something that wasn’t even there anymore? Just draw more attention to myself when Mark had gone missing?”

“I guess...yeah, you’re right.”

“But ever since this all started this summer, I thought that it might’ve come back. And I’ve been checking since summer started, but only now...only today, when I checked, it had come back.”

“And it’s because...because I’m the one who put it there,” Haechan trails off.

“Why? When did you – why did you put it there, Haechan?” Renjun asks. “What...what’s going on? What kind of messages have you been getting?”

Donghyuck sighs. “See for yourself.”

He shows him his phone.

On the screen, there’s a message. It’s a picture of Haechan eating at a cafe with Jeno. The picture of Haechan and Jeno is below a yearbook photo of Mark, but his face has been crossed out. Each picture is next to a large, jagged rock.

**Unknown Number** : _Simon says put the mail in the box, or you’ll both get your skulls smashed in with two rocks._

“But why is it–”

“Because I got the first text when I was getting lunch with Jeno last week,” Donghyuck replies with apathy. “I...I just tried ignoring everything that happened. That if I ignored it for long enough, it would go away. But it hasn’t, and I was scared if I didn’t do what Simon said, something might happen to–”

“Why were you scared, though?” Renjun questions, wanting an honest answer out of him. “Who is Simon? What the hell does he have on you?”

This is a test. He needs to know if Haechan can be honest with him, and if he’s the one who put the DS in the box, like Yeri thought. If he’s the one who left this mysterious note, or if he’s just making this up, when he’s actually Simon.

“Because...because...I’m sorry, I can’t tell you, just yet,” Haechan hesitates. “It’s...it’s hard.”

“Why?”

Donghyuck tenses.

Renjun doesn’t like where this is going.

“Tell me, Haechan.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Are you Simon?”

“No, I’m not, I’m–”

“Then if you’re not, why can’t you tell me?”

“No, seriously, Renjun, drop it.”

“No, you have to tell me,” Renjun says, “You have to tell me why you’re so scared of this guy. What’s he got on you? What’s going on, Hyuck?”

Why is Haechan so scared of being honest with him?

“Injunnie...it’s so fucked up,” Haechan cries, looking like he's on the verge of tears. “This is so fucked up. It’s not just the picture of us, I can’t...I can’t tell you–”

Renjun’s phone goes off.

They both tense uneasily.

“You should get that,” Haechan trembles. 

“Why?”

“I don’t know...I just…I have a bad feeling about it,” Haechan replies fearfully.

It’s like his brain is running on autopilot. From some place far, far away, he feels himself pick up his phone, seeing there’s a notification for a text. From some place deep in the recesses of his brain, he feels his heart racing faster, his whole body trembling. Renjun’s never felt this anxious before, his hands shaking as he goes to open the text, and he and Haechan check his messages together.

  
  


“OH MY GOD–”

* * *

“Simon left a present for Renjun in the mailbox.”

Mark’s heart dropped in his chest.

“What?”

“The mailbox. Your grass field. Up in the hills. He knows the three of you kept your secrets, up there,” Irene said harshly.

“How...how did you know about that?” Mark said. “I...I never told you about that place. We never told anyone about the mailbox. How could he have...how did he know?”

“You’re not the only one with eyes and ears in Journey,” Irene replied in a cold voice. “You think I just found you on my own tonight?” 

That was a good point, Mark suddenly realized. He never told Irene that he was going to the diner with Jaehyun and Joy, yet she still managed to find him tonight.

“Don’t underestimate me,” she said darkly, as if reading his mind. “And especially, _especially_ don’t underestimate Simon, whoever he is.”

The quiet of the night kept getting caught in his throat, his words all choked up.

“What did he leave for Renjun?” Mark asked nervously.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Irene said. “I took it from that mailbox before any of you could. But just know, it was to make everything worse than it already is. And make a mess of your life.”

A pause.

“Maybe even end it.”

“He...he knows,” Mark said, heart sinking in his chest. “He knows...he knows about the mailbox...he knows.”

“And that’s why I’m not letting you meet him,” Irene said, voice firm. “You want to find out who he is But I don’t, and you’re not dragging me into this mess. I’m already risking a lot, trying to help you this much.”

“But–”

“No,” Irene said harshly, voice low in the glow of the dashboard. “You don’t get to meet Simon tonight, find out who he is. End of discussion. Because I don’t trust you to keep your promises. Joy and Jaehyun don’t know your real intentions, and you don’t know Simon’s. You’re not meeting him until he loses at his own game.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So whenever he asks him again, how he feels, please remember, his answer…wasn't you, Haechan.
> 
> (Just a note - with the holidays coming up, I don't have any plans on any updates the next two weeks, so this will be the last chapter of 2020, but I'll see you soon in the New Year!)
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)  
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	13. This Is Me Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haechan lost. But at this point he doesn't care, he has to tell Renjun. He can’t do this alone.

_We say that we’ll just screw it up in these trying times, we’re not trying_

“OH MY GOD–”

“HOLY SHIT–”

“OH MY GOD, FUCK–”

“HOLY SHIT, RENJUN–”

“Fuck this is so fucked up what the actual fuck–”

“Oh my fucking god–”

“Fuck, we need to go to the police,” Renjun says, shaking in his words and in his arms, “we need to go to the fucking police right now–”

It’s a picture of their mailbox, the one they used to share with Mark. It’s open. Taken at a certain angle, so you can see two things inside it.

The first item is a picture of Mark, in his grey Vans hoodie, except there’s been a hole punched through his forehead in the photo, its circumference colored in red.

The second item is a gun.

**Unknown Number** : _Simon says next time you take his prize, you’ll get a bullet between your eyes. Just like Mark!_

“–I’m calling the police, I can’t do this–”

“No!” Haechan shouts. “No! No, fuck, don’t, fuck what if that makes everything worse–”

“What do you mean, make everything worse?!” Renjun screams. “I just got a death threat to my life from some psychopath I don’t even know! From this fucking freak who probably killed Mark! How does it get any worse!? H-He’s threatening to kill me because I took something from the mailbox–”

“What?! What the hell did you take from the mailbox?!” Haechan yells back. “What did you take, why the hell–you should’ve left it there!”

“No I shouldn’t have!”

“What are you–”

“Because I have to prove to them I’m not the one!” Renjun yells, tears wetting his cheeks as he starts sobbing between his words.

“What the hell is that even supposed to mean?!”

“I have to prove that I’m not the one behind this, that I don’t want any of this to happen, I’m not doing this,” Renjun cries, eyes getting red, his nose turning runny. “I-I’m n-not a bad p-person, Haechan! I-I didn’t do anything to Mark! And th-they wouldn’t believe me unless I got something like they did too!”

“What do you mean, got something like they did?!” Haechan says. “What the hell else do they need to see–”

“Be-because it wasn’t just texts,” Renjun gasps between haggard breaths, tries to calm down as he hiccups on his tears. “It-it wasn’t just texts.”

“Then what?! What else is there, that you had to take something from the mailbox and send a psycho on the warpath after us?!”

“It...it was Mark’s postcard.”

“...Postcard?”

“A postcard he sent, to someone….someone named Irene.”

“Who the fuck is Irene?”

“I don’t know it’s just...it’s just...they all got st-stuff that be-belonged to Mark,” Renjun says, starts wiping his eyes. “He...Jeno, he got a postcard in the mail, that Mark sent to someone, named Irene.”

“But why did that mean you had to–”

“Because Ma-Mark’s st-stuff...it got sent to Yeri and Jaemin too,” Renjun said quietly. “He...Jaemin got the flyer...and Yeri...Yeri got Mark’s old DS.”

Mailbox.

Haechan stares at Renjun, feels the whole world dissolve around him, everything cuts to black save for him and Renjun in the car, pretending everything is fine when nothing is true.

“What do you mean, they’re all getting Mark’s stuff?”

“About a week or so ago, Yeri got...someone left a package on her doorstep, for her.”

Haechan tenses.

Mail box.

“It had...it had the DS you and Yeri gave him, for his birthday, back in 6th grade.”

Put the mail in the box.

“God, this is so fucked up, I don’t even know how to explain it,” Renjun sniffles, exhausted breaths beleaguering his rambling words, “but after she got that, she panicked and freaked out, and then she texted me to meet up with her, because she–”

_Simon says put the mail in the box, or you both get your skulls smashed in with two rocks._

“–got all that, and then, well, she got a text from someone named Simon saying, like I did just now, talking about a game–”

He’s not alone.

“–so she thought it might’ve been leading back to you, because...well, because Mark had told her that he was going to see you that night–”

“Renjun. Stop. It was me.”

He loses.

“But-but it wasn’t you,” Renjun replies. “She knows, and deep down...well, deep down, I know you weren't the one behind any of this–”

“No, stop.”

He lost. But at this point he doesn't care, he can’t do this alone anymore.

“You were right, Renjun,” he says defeatedly. “You were both right.”

Renjun’s eyes are glassy beads of apprehension masking fear, quivering with a delirium of movement indicating that he’s scared.

He should be scared.

“What...what the hell are you talking about, Haechan?”

“Yeri was right. I’m the one who put Mark’s DS in the box.”

«««

If Haechan really wanted to think about it, everything started the moment he began dating Mark, when he slept over the night of Valentine’s Day. That’s where everything began, the moment when they’d decided it was worth falling in love, to confess to an innocent schoolboy crush.

But was it worth it?

One particularly quiet night in, nothing very extraordinary. Sophomore class president Mark Lee had decided to spend the night with Yeri watching movies. Normally, Yeri wasn’t allowed to have sleepovers, let alone with other boys (even if they had been friends since middle school). But because it was Valentine’s Day, and Mark Lee was the perfect son that every Asian mother in Journey adored (and secretly wanted her son to be and her daughter to marry), of course Mrs. Kim had allowed it.

Everyone else had fallen asleep after they’d finished watching ‘Some Kind of Wonderful’ and called it a night. However, Donghyuck, feeling rather listless, couldn’t fall asleep. Mark was still awake too, so they’d snuck out of Yeri’s house and gone on a walk, and Mark asked if it was him who’d left the note in the mailbox. The note confessing that he liked Mark. Donghyuck tried deflecting that he had no idea what Mark was talking about, because he didn’t want Mark to find out that he did. But eventually he called up the courage to finally tell Mark that he liked him, even if it meant he’d stop being friends with him, because that’d ruin the image of pure perfection he’d cultivated for himself.

But to his surprise, the feeling was mutual.

“Maybe I like you too,” Mark smiled gently, soft eyes fixed on his shocked lips, the perfect plaster of his person less intimidating in the night.

“You...you do?” Donghyuck gasped with disbelief.

And without anything else said, Mark closed the gap between them and that was that, a string of five enchanting words tying them closer together.

They kissed for the first time under the streetlights, walked back home giddy with excitement, feverish elation crepitating in their footsteps.

“You like me?” Donghyuck said in disbelief. “You...you actually like me? Really?”

“Yes,” Mark smiled. “I think I’ve liked you ever since we first met.”

“Don’t lie about that,” Donghyuck laughed, the dark golds painted upon his expression in their night under the street lights. “We hated each other when we first met.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not. You hated me.”

“Well...you’re not wrong, I definitely hated you,” Mark smirked.

“And look at us now, somehow I’ve convinced you to date your best friend – which is me, by the way,” Donghyuck couldn’t help smugly pointing it out. “From hating your best friend, to thinking it’s a good idea to date him.”

“But it is such a good idea,” Mark smiled. “It’s a wonderful idea, to find someone standing right beside you,” closing the gap between them again, leaning in for another kiss in the novelty of their innocent fondness.

And that was it. It had been as simple as that, falling in love with your best friend. The charming, well-mannered, perfect son that every mother wanted. Someone close who he could share this secret crush with, a single thread of burnished blue waves bespoken between them. Simple, right?

Except it wasn’t as simple as a good idea.

»»»

“You?” Renjun almost chokes on the word. 

Funny, Haechan thinks. It’s a simple word, _you_. Says so much yet so little. A pronoun, he recalls, from Mrs. Park’s English grammar lesson during freshman year, right after he’d memorized a soliloquy from _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ for extra credit. 

“It was _you_?”

“Yes,” he says, accepting defeat.

“You’re the one who–”

“I’m not Simon,” Haechan says. “Obviously not. I didn’t text myself a picture of me and Jeno, and I didn’t just text you that I’d blow your brains out, did I?”

“But you–”

“Had the DS?” He could almost laugh, if not for how painful this feels. “Yeah, because it was Simon who left it in my mom’s car.”

“What?!”

“Simon, he...he...I just found it there, Simon broke into my mom’s car, after he left the instructions.”

“Instructions?” Renjun questions him. “What instructions?”

It burns him, in the back of his pocket.

For once in his life, he’s grateful he carried this nightmare with him and didn't leave it under his bed, scared his mom might find it there if she cleaned, and then he’d really meet his end. Instead, he fiddles for his wallet, pulls out the folded piece of paper, and hands it to Renjun.

«««

A couple weeks ago, sophomore year had ended. Yearbooks signed for people he didn't actually care about, empty promises made with people about hanging out this summer that he’d break, and then Haechan continued on with living his life.

One sunny afternoon, he had been hanging out with Jaehyun, Johnny, and Yuta at the beach. Johnny wanted to tan, Jaehyun wanted to play volleyball, and Yuta wanted to surf. He’d just decided that he’d tag along.

“Yo, so how was your first year at Santa Cruz?” Jaehyun asked Johnny. “I heard from Seulgi that you’ve become somewhat of a weed dealer in your frat house.”

Johnny laughed. “Well, you heard wrong. I was roommates with a weed dealer, doesn’t mean I became one too.”

“Oh come on, don’t pretend to be all squeaky clean,” Yuta rolled his eyes. “You’re literally in a frat, I wouldn’t be surprised if you rolled every weekend.”

“And you would know, wouldn’t you?” Johnny snorted. He turned to Jaehyun. “You’re definitely gonna rush your first semester, aren’t you, Jae?”

Jaehyun turned on his back to stare up at the sun. “Eh, maybe. We’ll see. I dunno, maybe Greek life ain’t it for me.”

“You totally give off frat-vibes though,” Yuta smirked. “Even more than your fuckboy vibes recently. You’d definitely thrive in that kind of life.”

“Shut up,” Jaehyun laughed and pushed Yuta into the sand a bit. “I told you, me and Joy are still talking about being an item. We’re both going off to college in a couple months, and we never said this was long-term.”

Johnny clicked his tongue. “Classic fuckboy move,” he said.

Haechan couldn’t help but scoff upon hearing this, because he was kind of sick of everyone trying to turn Jaehyun into the douchebags they were. “Do any of you even know what fuckboy means?” he retorted. “That’s not being a fuckboy, that’s just wanting to break up before college for a fresh start.”

“Eh, still seems kinda fuckboy-ish to me,” Johnny shrugged, a sly smirk on his face.

For some reason or another, Haechan felt rather annoyed with this conversation, and deciding he was hungry, got up to get a smoothie at the snack shack nearby. “Be right back, losers, I’m gonna go get a smoothie.”

“Yo, can you get me a beer?” Yuta smirked. 

“Do I look twenty-one to you?” Haechan rolled his eyes.

“Nah, you still look like you’re in middle school,” Yuta winked. “Young and beautiful, like that one Lana Del Rey song.” He blew a kissy face.

Haechan grimaced. “I’m flattered.”

“We’re just messing with you, bro,” Johnny grinned, also making a kissy face. “Unless you see something you like.”

Haechan sighed and walked towards the snack shack.

Maybe it was the heat, dry and scorching against his skin, making him feel particularly irritable. Maybe it was the sand, chafing at his toes and leaving his feet feeling rather tender. Maybe it was just a bad mood he was having, in general. But whatever it was, Haechan felt like something grating against his chest, and he couldn’t quite pin down what it was.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and thinking it was Johnny calling him to unironically ask about getting him a beer, went to pick up and then hang up.

Instead, he saw it was a blocked number. 

»»»

“Why...why didn’t you tell me about this?” Renjun says, voice rising after reading the instructions and he told Renjun everything, even about dating Mark. “Why the...fuck, why the hell didn’t you tell any of us about this, Haechan?!”

“Because...because I didn’t trust you either,” Haechan admits miserably. “I didn’t...I didn’t talk to you guys about any of this because I was scared. I thought one of you guys was doing this to me and would slit my throat if I told you. I still...I still don’t know if I can trust you.”

Renjun’s nostrils flare up, he looks like he’s struggling not to sock him. “How the hell can you say that, when you’re the one who sent the fucking DS to Yeri?”

“And how the hell do I know you’re not the one behind all of this?! What if Jeno is right, you’re the one fucking with me, him, doing this to get back at both of us?” Haechan challenges back.

“Back at all of you for what?!” Renjun almost shouts. “Get back at Jeno for what, Hyuck?! What on earth could any of you have done that’d make me hate you _this_ much, that I’d do all this to you guys?”

“I don’t know, a lot of people don’t like me,” he thinks out loud, words full of bitterness. “And at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t either.”

The tension in the air is expected, but what happens next is not.

“That’s not fair,” Renjun says, and his tone is what catches him off guard, seeing eyes full of hurt. “You...you have no idea how much I care about my friends, Haechan. You guys...you’re practically family to me.”

He’s starting to doubt himself. He knows he shouldn’t have mentioned this, he knows how much Renjun cares, but he doesn’t want to admit he was wrong for saying that. So he digs that hole even deeper.

“No, we’re not. You haven’t talked to me in months.”

“Yes, you are!” Renjun says angrily, voice crackling with choked-up tension. “You–you of all people should know that! I don’t have anyone else like you guys, okay? I only have myself and my mom, and that’s it. So when I say–when I say that I think of you guys as my family, I mean it.”

Haechan feels himself cracking, slipping, and he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want to let his guard down, doesn’t want to walk into a trap, even though he knows Renjun would never do that to him. 

“Then where is all that coming from?!” Haechan spits back. “Why? Why are you bringing this up now? If you think we’re so close, then why haven’t you talked to me, or have you been too busy doing this shit to me and Jeno–”

“BECAUSE YOU ACT LIKE WE’RE NOT FRIENDS!” Renjun screams. “You’ve been off with Jaehyun and Johnny and the rest of them, okay? I’m not an idiot! Maybe you didn’t mean it like that, but you always act annoyed whenever you hang out with us, so I just stopped trying!”

Hearing that stings more than he thought it would.

“What do you mean, stopped trying? I have been trying–”

“No, you don’t try anymore!” Renjun almost shouts again. “I’m–I’m trying here, Donghyuck. But you don’t even make an effort to answer when I ask you to hang out. Only when you don’t have anyone else to hang out with...it just felt like you didn’t want to be our friend anymore. So I let it happen, okay? I let us grow apart. Because I thought that’s what you wanted.”

It hurts Haechan, hearing Renjun say that.

“I thought you didn’t want to be friends with us anymore,” Renjun says, tears starting to fall again. “That you didn’t want to be friends with me.”

If anything, that was the last thing that Donghyuck wanted.

«««

He answered the call.

“What, Johnny?” he said boredly. “Too chicken to call me from your actual number?”

“Because you're my friend.”

Immediately he froze in his spot. Because that was Mark, saying that.

“Hello?” he repeated timidly, afraid of what he would hear on the other line, his mind playing tricks on him. “Mark? Is that you?”

Silence.

“Hello?”

Still silence.

“Mark?”

“Because you're my friend.”

A song started to play on the other side of the line.

_Life could be a dream,_

_If I could take you up in paradise up above…_

Haechan tensed. He knew exactly which song this was.

It was the song he sang with Jeno, Renjun, and Jaemin in their choir class from freshman year. In fact, it had been their quartet performance at the spring choir concert. Jeno and Jaemin had gotten too busy sophomore year to fit choir into their schedule, but he and Renjun had still been in the class together.

But Mark was never in their choir class.

“Hello?” He tried again. “Mark?”

_Hello hello again, sh-boom and hopin' we'll meet again…_

“Mark?!”

And then the song stopped abruptly.

Silence.

“Hello?” he said, almost close to tears, felt anxiety swallowing up his chest and inching closer and closer to his throat, a ball of fear lodged into it.

“Because you're my friend.”

Donghyuck felt tears running down his eyes. This wasn't Mark. It was...someone had to have recorded him saying this. Why, who was calling him and playing this?

“Mark?” he sobbed quietly.

And then the other end went dead.

»»»

“Well, you’re wrong,” Haechan says, feeling defeat crawl up his throat, make its way into his chest. “This isn’t even close to anything, at all, what I wanted, if you think I wanted this to happen.”

Renjun doesn’t say anything in response.

“I don’t want to grow apart, Renjun, I...I really didn’t want that to happen,” he says almost feebly, feeling his resolve start to break down.

He hears a sigh next to him. “I know,” Renjun says with a quiet sadness. “I know this isn’t...this isn’t what either of us wanted.”

“Fuck, this is so fucked up, this is so fucked up,” Haechan says. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I even thought this was you. I know...I know you would never do this.”

“It’s okay,” Renjun replies, feebleness sapping the vigor from his voice. “It’s...it’s not the first time, someone’s accused me of doing this.”

 _Jeno_ , Haechan thinks sadly. Fuck, he really feels like an asshole.

“It’s not okay, Injunnie. Nothing about this is okay. You...if anything, Jeno should be blaming me, because this is all my fault…it all went wrong when we found that mailbox.”

“But...I don’t get it, the mailbox,” Renjun says, struggling between managing anger, confusion, betrayal, sadness, relief, all in one. Recognizes it, since he’s been there a few times and it’s Renjun, of course he can tell. “Did Simon give you more instructions to put the sweater in the package too? And how’d you know Mark used to be called a bad boy?”

_His sweater?_

“His sweater? Bad boy? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Mark’s sweater...where’d you get it, when you put it in Yeri’s package?” Renjun says, the confusion fading out, the anger becoming tense, yet not all directed at him.

“What...what the hell are you even talking about?” he repeats himself.

“You...you made that package, right?” Renjun said. “You wrote the note, didn’t you?”

“Look, all I did was put the DS in a box for him,” he says. “I didn’t have a choice, Renjun, there was no choice when he threatened me in those instructions–”

“A box?”

“What?”

“You put the DS in a box?”

“Yes, a box, a DS-sized cardboard box, why the hell is that important!” he says indignantly. “Yeah, okay, I did it, alright?! Is that what you want to hear?! So that you can feel better about yourself, knowing you’re not the one who’s fucked up, I am?! That I’m the one who’s–”

“Haechan–”

“No, you know what, fine, call the police, do it–”

“Haechan–”

“– I deserve it, at least there I’ll be safe from Simon in jail–”

“Listen to me, Donghyuck.”

“What?!” he snaps.

“I said it was a manila package,” Renjun says, gravity weighing down his words. “I never said anything about the DS being in a cardboard box.”

“So?” Donghyuck says. “What’s the difference?! You’re just splitting hairs now, me calling it a box and you calling it a package.”

“Did you know about the sweater?”

“What sweater? What the hell are you talking about, Renjun?! There was no sweater!”

Renjun stays quiet now.

“Hello?”

Renjun doesn’t say anything, only lost in his thoughts.

“Renjun?!”

“It was Mark’s sweater,” Renjun replies, looking straight at him now, almost through him, as if he’s a ghost. “The Vans one in the picture I showed you. It wasn’t just the DS that Yeri got, she got his sweater too.”

“Stop lying to me–”

“I’m not lying.”

“Renjun Huang, I swear, if you’re lying to me–”

“I’m not lying. Yeri got Mark’s DS in a package that had his Vans sweater.”

He stops for a second. “You’re...so what, why does it matter? Why does any of this matter? Simon probably had the sweater, put it in that package he sent to Yeri.”

“Because if he told you to put it in a DS-sized cardboard box, and Yeri got the package with the sweater...oh my god,” Renjun says, inhaling sharply. “Oh my god, it’s all starting to make sense.”

“What’s starting to make sense?”

“Where did you leave the mailbox with the DS, Haechan?” Renjun asks. “In the same spot where it used to be?”

Haechan’s confusion grows. “No. I left it at the coordinates that...well, that Simon left for me. He left the exact coordinates for where I should leave it, according to...”

Shudders involuntarily at that, remembering the knife through Mark’s head, the message on the prescription. It still makes him shake with fear, how ugly he felt inside when he read them...

“...according to the instructions that I just showed you.”

“But I didn’t find it today where you left it, Hyuck,” Renjun says, eyes set ablaze.

“What...what do you mean by that?”

“I found it today at the spot. On the trail, where we used to go with Mark.”

«««

One week after getting the call at the beach, Haechan got the first text during lunch with Yeri and Jaemin, down in Santa Cruz at the farmer’s market.

**Unknown Number** : _Simon says check your locker after the meal, and he’ll tell you if Mark’s voice was actually real._

His heart started beating in his chest. But he ignored it, deciding to forget about it. If he ignored it, it would go away. This was just some stupid prank and someone was messing with him, probably Johnny or some antagonistic classmate with some twisted sense of trying to freak him out.

“Do you wanna hang out again tomorrow, Hyuck?” Yeri had asked. “I’m going to wait for Jeno to finish his internship at this cute cafe by the beach! I was gonna do some work–”

“Hmm? What, oh, yeah, uh...can I get back to you on that?” Haechan had said distractedly.

_Who the fuck is this?_ : **Haechan**

He’d awaited a response but got none.

And when he got home later afterwards, he got a message he couldn’t ignore.

**Unknown Number :** _Simon says the instructions are in Locker 602, better hurry there or next time he’ll call the police, not you._

It came with a photo of him from the beach that day, phone to his ear, taped to his locker. The words “HAECHAN KILLED THE STAR NAMED MARK LEE” were written on the bottom.

_Eomma_ had been pretty pissed that he took her car without asking, especially since he’d only just gotten his license a week earlier, but he had to get to the locker. This wasn’t the first time he’d dealt with something like this, but this was the first time it might turn serious. Whoever taped that picture to mess with him, he had to get rid of it. Before someone saw that, and this Simon psychopath tried spreading rumors that he was the one who killed Mark.

He didn’t need the police suspecting him of something he didn't do, finding out stuff that he’d kept secret for this long.

It was 9:00 PM on a nondescript night. Breaking in, walking around school at night..empty walkways...not a single soul...it creeped the hell out of him. The entire time, he felt like he was being watched, going to his locker.

As promised, “the instructions” were there when he opened his locker. Even worse, he found the instructions lodged into a paper mache sculpture of Mark’s head.

Lodged in by a knife.

In retrospect, Haechan realizes what he should’ve done. He should’ve brought gloves to keep his fingerprints off everything. Keep the head and the knife, send it to the police, along with the instructions, and then they would have found out who did it, found out who Simon was, and then he would have been free of whatever the hell this was, never have to worry about this again.

But that’s not what he did.

Fear is something dark that motivates everyone to do things they don't normally find rational. And Haechan was beyond the deep end, seeing the knife in Mark’s head. 

Swallowing shaky sobs, he sprinted out of the school with the head and the knife, dislodged the instructions from Mark’s paper mache head, and then threw the rest into the dumpster. Didn’t know if Simon was also at school, would also do the same to him if he stayed and waited for him to show up.

It’d been ten minutes, driving to the nearest parking lot to just cry in his mom’s car, to even feel safe knowing there were other people out that night walking in and out of the grocery store, far away from school, knowing it wasn't just him and Simon. Tears soaking the page before he finally calmed down enough to even feel like he could acknowledge what was written in the instructions.

_Simon says:_

_He left Haechan the DS. So go put it back in the mailbox, as your very first test._

_To take his test, put the mailbox back! But not where you three kept secrets stashed._

_They’re both in the back of your car, he left them there while Haechan found this stabbed into his favorite star._

_Put the mailbox at the coordinates below, also leave the DS too, and do it solo._

_If you tell anyone about this note, it won’t be a knife in Mark’s head, rather slashed through your throat._

_If you try and find out who he’s been all along, he’ll do much worse to you than what you did to Taeyong._

_Play the game! If you play it just right, he’ll tell you what happened to Mark Lee that night._

_If you play his game and lose, it’ll be your arrest for Mark Lee’s murder on the news._

_– Love you, Haechan! XOXO, Mr. Mark Lee’s devil_

At the bottom of the instructions, there were three additional things.

The first was a picture of Mark kissing Haechan under the street lights, the night of Yeri’s sleepover, with “2ND DEGREE: SUDDEN HEAT OF PASSION” written below. How Simon had it, where he got it, he had no idea. But bile burned in the back of his throat, realizing that someone had been watching them that night, had this as blackmail for almost a year now, an innocent kiss now forever tarnished. 

The second was coordinates, for where to put back the mailbox.

And the last was a prescription vial for his mom’s sleeping pills, but instead of the medical label, a note attached to the outside.

_P.S._

_And if you snitch, next time I’ll switch  
_ _The pills at the pharmacy to the ones that’ll help her sleep permanently.  
_ _Oh, and maybe I’ll get some for you and Mark, too!  
_ _But I don’t want that happening to Mark’s future mother in-law,  
_ _Do you?_

_Hope I don’t have to bury Mark’s dearly beloved with him, Haechannie <3 _

»»»

“But...okay, well for all we know, Simon just–he just moved it back because I didn’t put it in the right place, I don’t know, what are you trying to get at, Injun?” Haechan says confusedly.

“That it wasn’t Simon,” Renjun says. “The mystery girl, that’s...that’s why she didn’t want Jeno to follow her, that morning. Because she was looking for the mailbox.”

“Why...why are you so certain she exists?” Donghyuck replies. “You’ve never seen Jeno’s mystery girl! What if he’s–”

Renjun shoots him a look before he realizes how ridiculous that sounds. “Okay, fine, yeah, even I know Jeno’s harmless, I realize how stupid that sounded when I said it out loud. But still, he could be lying about her existing!”

“And you’ve never seen Simon, but you and I both know he’s real.”

That irritates him, whenever Renjun does that. States the obvious that he should’ve been able to figure it out, but Renjun’s solved it faster again.

“You wanna know how I know Simon is real?” Haechan says. “Because I got these instructions, Renjun. In the form of a knife to Mark’s head. And you have no idea what it’s like, feeling the creeps running all over you when you get a deranged death threat from some psychopath who couldn’t sound happier about it.”

“Really?” he replies sarcastically, holding up his phone. “I don’t have a clue how that feels?”

And yet this time, he finds some admiration for Renjun amidst all his annoyance. How emboldened and undeterred he is, even with all this happening.

“Alright, so what’s your point?” he says. “Let’s say she actually exists, even if Jeno’s the only one who’s ever seen her. Now let’s say she moved the mailbox from where I left it, you took something from the mailbox, let’s say something she left, and Simon’s pissed you took it? Why does that even matter?”

“Because I stole part of the game.”

_The game._

Haechan shivers involuntarily. It doesn’t escape Renjun.

“How much did the instructions creep you out?” Renjun asks him. “Enough that you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Yes,” Haechan admits. “But it’s fine...it’s fine.”

He takes a deep breath. Breathe, just like Jaemin taught him how to do.

“In the...in the instructions, that he gave me. He’d mentioned that...that this was a game, I was playing. And if I lost, well...you read them.”

It’s twisted, how easily his heart spikes when they’re just words, just words on a piece of paper and yet they cut so deep to the bone.

“It’s why I didn’t want to talk about this,” Haechan says. “I didn’t want to talk about this because this guy had access to my mom’s medical stuff like that and the picture of Jeno, it...you didn’t see the knife, Renjun. He left a knife in my locker. That’s how he left the instructions.”

Which means he wants you to be scared. The same way he did it with the picture of Jeno, or the picture of Mark. He wants you to...oh shit. _Shit_ ,” Renjun says. “We need to meet with everyone tonight.”

“What!?” Haechan exclaims. “Why?”

“I think I’m starting to figure out the game, they’re both trying to play,” Renjun replies.

«««

The end started around AP tests. That’s when everything became its worst, the moment when Mark lashed out at him one last time, and he didn’t have an answer.

Haechan hates thinking about it, not even because it was horrible, scarring. Rather, it was the opposite – quiet, miserable, and dispassionate. Admitting defeat.

He hated how hopeless it all had been.

After he had finished his FRQs for AP Biology, Donghyuck had been waiting in the parking lot, excited that they had the rest of the day to hang out and were planning on taking the bus to spend the rest of the day in Santa Cruz.

Fifteen minutes later, Mark had walked out, looking dejected.

“Wow, you took forever, huh,” Donghyuck joked. “Did you end up writing more than you needed to?”

Mark just looked at him forlornly.

“Don’t wanna talk about it, huh?”

Mark didn’t say anything.

“Okay, whatever,” Donghyuck shrugged. “Come on, let’s go catch a ride from Yeri.”

“No.”

Donghyuck looked at Mark, who was looking at him, forlorn but also a hint of sadness behind his words. “No, Donghyuck.”

“Uh, sorry, what?” Donghyuck crossed his arms. “You’re the one who planned this day in Santa Cruz for us, after we finished AP tests–”

“No, Donghyuck, just...we’re not doing this right now.”

“What do you mean, we’re not doing this right now?”

“I just...I don’t want to go out, sorry. I’m not in the mood.”

“But we have the whole rest of the day to ourselves, and you planned this as something fun for us to do.”

“Yeah well, I’m not in the mood to have fun, okay?” Mark said, irritation rising in his voice. “So just drop it. Please. I’m not in a good mood.”

“What do you mean, you’re not in the mood to have fun?” Donghyuck questioned. “When would we do this then? After you stop feeling sorry for yourself that you probably bombed that test because you–”

“Stop it!” Mark yelled at him. “Just–shut up, Donghyuck! Stop being fucking annoying, I said no! I changed my mind, okay? We’re not doing this anymore. So just drop it.”

Donghyuck didn’t take that answer very well.

“Hey! You don’t tell me when to shut up!” Donghyuck said angrily. “And you know what, I’m not dropping this, because I’m kind of over this, Mark! I’m over your mood swings, or whatever it is these are, that you’ve been having ever since we started going out!”

“I’m not having mood swings–”

“Yes you are! It’s like you’ve become some whole other different person ever since we started going out, _in secret_ since you still don’t want to–”

“Stop!” Mark yelled again. “Stop it! Just, stop making this a big deal! I said no, alright? Why can’t you just take no for a fucking answer?”

“Because it is a big deal!” Donghyuck shouted back. “It is a big fucking deal because if we’re dating, then I don’t want to put up with this crap from you! I get that you're angry, or having a bad day, but it’s like everyday I try being with you, it’s always your bad day! You just freak out and lash out at me whenever I want to spend time with you in public, like a boyfriend should be able to, because you’re afraid someone will find out about us!”

“What are you saying?!” Mark said. “That I’m not allowed to be angry? Or scared?! It’s not easy keeping this a secret! What if Yeri finds out?!”

“You won’t even see anyone we know in Santa Cruz!” Donghyuck shouted. “And why do you think Yeri would care?! Is she not fucking friends with me?”

“You don’t know that!”

“What do you mean, I don’t know that?!”

“You don’t know–”

“You know what, fine! I don’t know! I don’t know anything, apparently, since I didn’t know that when I would start going out with you, it would be like I’m not even in a fucking relationship with you at all!” he nearly screamed.

“What, you’re saying that I can’t–”

“No, you can't!” Donghyuck said. “You can’t keep doing this, being like this, if you want to be in a relationship with me!”

They both froze after he said it.

“What?” Mark said shockedly.

Donghyuck sighed. “Look, I know...I know you like me,” he started. “I know you’re not...you’re figuring things out. I know you aren’t out to anyone else, okay? I know–”

“I’m not gay,” Mark snapped. “I’m not...I’m not like you.”

The way Mark said the words with such revulsion wounded like a stab, but he ignored it, buried it like the rest of his feelings wrapped in barbed wire. Couldn’t deal with that right now. 

“Fine, you’re just...I just know you like me, okay? And that you don’t want to put any labels on this, or you, or whatever. But I don’t...I don’t want to keep doing this, if this is what it’s going to be.”

He sighed again.

“I don’t want to keep this a secret just to keep you, if this is how it’s going to be.”

He paused.

“If this is how you’re going to be.”

“But I’m not–”

“Stop, Mark,” Donghyuck sighed, feeling sadness building up in him. “Just stop, okay? Because maybe this is just _whatever_ to you. Just some relationship with a boy, who also happens to be your friend, who’s willing to try it out with you, because I, well, I like you back.”

He paused, considering his words carefully–

“But this isn't just some game to me, okay? I really like you, Mark. I really, really like you a lot.”

–but they slipped out before he could stop himself.

“I think I love you.”

Mark looked at him with wide, confused eyes.

“You...you what?”

Fuck, Donghyuck had screwed it up.

He panicked, started laughing. “Oh, wow. Oh, wow, wow, wow, that sounds so...that sounds so ridiculous!” he almost started crying. “This is so fucking ridiculous.”

“It’s not...it’s not ridiculous,” Mark replied, and he even had the audacity to look bashful.

“Yes, yes it is!” Donghyuck laughed. “It is, because I just realized how stupid I must be to say that I _love_ you, when you barely even like me back enough to feel comfortable dating me in the first place! Oh, wow, this is so...this is so ridiculous.”

“Donghyuck–”

“Wow, I’ve wasted so much time, on this, just to realize now how stupid all of this is,” he laughed. “How stupid I am.”

“It’s not stupid. You’re not stupid.”

He laughed again. “Yes it is! Yes it is, because I love you, and I thought that’d be enough, but this is how it’s ended up,” he repeated again, almost going hysterical at how ridiculous it sounded. “Wow, I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

“But...Donghyuck...I, I do–”

“No, don’t say it,” Donghyuck cut him off, the pain without the laughter now, just hollow emptiness defeating the breaths in his chest. “Don’t say you love me back. Because you don’t. Not when we keep fighting about stuff like this, when you keep acting like this.”

He stopped for a bit, to catch his breath, take in some air to stop himself from crying.

“And I can’t...I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Donghyuck felt tears welling up in his eyes, heart aching because he really did love Mark, fuck, he was so stupid. “But if you’re not...if you’re not ready, to be honest with everyone else, including yourself, then maybe...maybe this isn’t worth it. And if you’re not ready, then maybe...maybe we should just take a break.”

Silence.

Mark inhaled a bit too deeply, consternated and dismayed.

“I guess...I guess, maybe you’re right.”

It cut like glass, because Mark didn’t even try to put up a fight, just reluctantly accepted and sealed his fate, and that was that.

Worst of all, Donghyuck hated, _hated_ that he was right. Mark wasn’t ready to date him, they’d jumped the gun, thinking he could change Mark with a confession, that Mark would somehow magically grow out of his fears and fall in love with him the way he had with Mark and they’d both live happily ever after. 

And how liking, _loving_ Mark messed everything up for the both of them.

“So I guess...I guess that’s it, then,” Donghyuck said, trying not to sound all choked up, at how unfair this all was. How unfair it all was, how much he liked, _loved_ Mark and yet Mark wasn’t ready to say, to do the same in return.

“I don’t...I don’t want it to be,” Mark said weakly, but there was no point, other than trying to soften the blow. “I don’t want this to be, because I love–”

“Don’t.”

Too late. Donghyuck felt every word like a knife, cutting to the bone.

“No you don’t,” he struggled to say.

“But I do. I do love you, I'm saying it right now. Doesn’t that...doesn’t that matter?”

“No, it doesn’t matter,” Donghyuck said, shaking his head twice. “It doesn’t matter. Because clearly...clearly, if you really did love me, then things…things wouldn't be ending like this. You would at least be trying.”

“I am...I’m trying, Donghyuck,” Mark said. “I’m still here trying, because I love you. This is me trying.”

He couldn’t even muster a laugh at that, because if this was his best, him trying, then it would never work out. And he should’ve known better.

One pause. A deep breath. Then the nail in the coffin.

“Then how did we screw this up so bad, if you’re trying to love me?”

He gave Mark a chance to answer, say something else, but if that was the best he could come up with…if that’s what his answer was…

“Do you really mean it?” Donghyuck said. “Do you love me? Or did you just love trying me out, before you got tired of that?”

Just silence.

It said enough, as his answer.

And he was tired of that.

One final sigh.

“Well, at least we can say we tried, at this.”

He wiped the tears away from his eyes. It wasn't fair, how much he loved him, and Mark couldn't even try to pretend that was fine with him.

“Bye, Mark.”

And before Mark could respond, Donghyuck left as fast as he could, so that Mark couldn't see the tears leaving his eyes, scared that Mark would try to come after him, chase him down, make this more painful than it already was.

It wasn’t worth it.

* * *

“You don’t get to meet Simon tonight, find out who he is. End of discussion,” Irene said, voice low in the glow of the dashboard. “Because I don’t trust you to keep your promises. Joy and Jaehyun don’t know your real intentions, and you don’t know Simon’s. You’re not meeting him until he loses at his own game.”

“What do you mean...what game?” Mark said. “What are you talking about?”

“What the hell did you think this was, Mark? Just someone with a really bad grudge, out to get you, out to ruin your life because you did something wrong?” Irene asked, a bite to each word.

“Well...yeah, because with all that’s happened–”

“It’s not,” she cut him off, steely eyes looking back at him through the rear view mirror. He turned away, unable to meet her gaze. “It’s more than that. Because to Simon, this is nothing more than a game.”

“What?”

Silence in the car.

“It’s a game,” she repeated herself.

“But...I don’t get it,” he said, dumbfounded, suddenly very, very scared of being alone, of trusting Irene blindly. “What...what do you mean, it’s a game?”

“This isn’t just some scheming classmate trying to make your life suck, bully you so you drop out and transfer schools,” Irene said. “It’s not just some messed up high school drama anymore. This is psycho-levels of messed-up. And that’s what’s dangerous.”

“But it’s a game...a game for what?”

She stopped at the sign, then glanced back at him.

“A game for you.”

“What do you mean, a game for me? How is this a game for me? What kind of game is this, if they want to make my life hell?”

“Because he’s not doing all this to make your life miserable.”

“Then why!? What’s he doing this for?!” Mark said, starting to feel fear rise up. “If you know so much, then what is this all for?!”

“He’s doing this _for_ you.”

She turned left.

“So what, he just wants me?” Mark said. “Then what, shouldn’t I let him have me? If that’s what makes all this stop, if he leaves my friends alone, then isn’t that better than running away–”

“I’m not letting you meet him,” she answered. “It’s not happening.”

“Then why?! What if he just stops, if I let him have me–”

“Because this isn’t some heroic sacrifice you’re making, Mark!”

“Then what?! What is it, then?!”

She sighed. “I care about you, I really do. But I can’t let you do that to yourself.”

“But what kind of defense is that?! What about what I want?” Mark said. “What if I want to meet him tonight? What if I want this to end, and this ends tonight, like he said, if I meet him?”

Irene’s hands tensed around the wheel for a bit, and then Mark jerked in his seat as she suddenly pulled over to the side of the road, put the gear in park, and then turned off the engine.

“No one likes to tell the truth, Mark,” she said, “when all it takes is one word for it to hurt.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t want to know.” She sounded miserable.

“Yes I do.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, I do!”

“Please, Mark. You have to trust me.”

“Stop! Just stop it, Irene, stop trying to act like you’re–”

“Joohyun,” she said quietly. 

“What?”

“Not Irene...Joohyun,” she repeated. “And Simon...he left strawberries in the mailbox for Renjun.”

“What the hell...what the hell?” Mark said angrily. Nothing about that made sense. Nothing about what she just said, none of it made any sense.

So then...why, why was he shaking?

It didn’t make any sense...it didn’t...

Why couldn’t Mark stop shaking?

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you, okay?” she said sadly. “Because this...this isn’t just about someone getting back at you for all the shitty things you did in high school. It’s more than that.”

She inhaled a bit sharply, trying to keep her emotions in check. “For you, this is your life. And I don’t want...I don’t want you to end up losing your life, the way I lost mine.”

One word, that was all it took for it to hurt.

“That’s why you can’t meet Simon. I won’t allow that to happen, because your life means so much more than that. You’re more than just a chess piece. But to everyone else, that’s all you are, nothing more than a prize to win in this sick game.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _End of Act IV_  
>  Act V: is where things start to unravel.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)   
>  [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)   
>  [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	14. Constant Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So...I don’t know where to begin,” Yeri starts.

**Act V**

Yeri only has one chance.

Once she’d dropped off Jaemin back at his house, she’d gone to work her afternoon shift at summer camp. Which, begrudgingly, she has Doyoung to thank for from his connections working there last year. But after she finished her shift, she saw a text message.

**JenJen** [20 min ago] : _i’m free after 8:00_

She’d spent the past week trying to get through to him and he’d finally texted back, and rather than just leaving it at that (because who knew how long he’d take to respond again), Yeri called him instead. To her surprise, he picked up.

“Hey,” he said. No emotion, no inflection, just one syllable.

“Hey.” She mirrored his tone, trying to sound neutral. “So, uh...can I pick you up at 8:30?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Wanna go to Cat’s Corner?”

Then a pause.

“Okay,” he answered.

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Jeno–”

He’d hung up before she could finish, but it was enough of a conversation to feel like a small victory. If they were going to get through this, then Jeno needed to trust her, trust them. 

She’s realized this past week that going through something like this alone, that’s probably why Mark’s still missing, and that’s why they can’t fall apart. Not when now, more than ever, they have to work together.

Yet she finds herself in another fraught predicament an hour later. 

After an acai bowl, some Netflix, and a shower, she’d gotten into her car to head over to Jeno’s place, fifteen before 8:30. When she checked her phone, she saw the following message from Renjun.

**the mofo fox🦊** [5 min ago] : _We need to talk. 9:30. Vending Machine._

And so right now, instead of waiting for a text back, she again simply decides to call, buckling her seatbelt as the line rings.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“We need to talk.”

“Can’t we talk right now?”

“Not over the phone,” he says darkly. “There’s a lot we need to talk about. And it’s better we do this in person, with Jaemin and Haechan.”

 _What does Donghyuck have to do with this_? she thinks to herself. “What do you mean?”

“I know who had the DS.”

Her heart drops faster than a bullet leaving a gun.

“What? How...how do you know?”

“I can’t explain it, not right now,” Renjun says. “I just need to talk to you tonight at the Vending Machine, with Haechan and Jaemin. Trust me.”

“Why?”

“Just meet me there tonight, okay?” 

He pauses. 

“Please?”

She hesitates. 

After all, how can she, when being blindsided by him, that’s the whole reason she’s trying to get out of this mess with Jeno? At least Jaemin had told her about the voicemail and plans to tell the rest of them. Renjun didn’t tell them anything, even when she told him about what Mark wanted to do that night.

Then again, if she can’t trust Renjun, after all that’s happened, who the hell is she supposed to trust? And if she can’t trust Renjun, then how will Jeno?

She sighs. “Alright, fine. I’ll be there.”

She takes his silence as acknowledgment.

“I might be late though. I’m meeting Jeno soon,” she continues. 

She can almost see the shock on Renjun’s face. “He called you?”

“He texted me, I called him, and now we’re going to meet up to talk.”

“About what?”

“About what Mark told me that night, the same as I told you.”

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea.”

“It’s my decision, and I’ve made up my mind. If you and J–”

She stops herself short, not letting it slip that Jaemin’s also been keeping from them. It’s not her place. She of all people should know that, since that’d be considered snitching in her book.

“–if you and I still have stuff we’re not honest about, then it’s up to us individually how we handle it,” she continues adamantly, recovering from her near blunder. “You want to keep stuff from Jeno, fine. That’s your choice, and I’m not going to force you to say anything. But I can’t do that anymore.”

She half-expects Renjun to argue with her, since last time they’d agreed it wasn't the right time to tell Jeno. Instead, it’s the opposite. “It’s okay, I get it,” he sighs. “Just...don’t say anything about us meeting later, okay?”

“Why not? Shouldn’t he be there too?”

“I don’t want him to trust me less than he already does,” he says, a genuine aching in his voice. “I’ll...I’ll explain everything to you, tonight. And to Jeno, after tonight. Just...please, Yeri. Please. We have to figure out who’s behind this, so he can trust me.”

Again, another pause.

“I don’t want him to hate me even more.”

It pulls at her heart a bit, hearing Renjun say that as she starts the engine. “Alright. I won’t say anything to him. But if I’m seeing you tonight, then no more lies.”

Take a deep breath, like Jaemin taught her…

“Please, Renjun.”

...and exhale.

“I don’t want to keep lying to him.”

Then she hangs up.

***

“So...I don’t know where to begin,” Yeri starts, awkwardly tapping on the matcha latte sitting in front of her. It’s weird, a week ago she could’ve easily talked to Jeno about anything, yet twenty minutes ago they’d driven here in complete silence, and now she’s struggling to even initiate a conversation with him.

Jeno sits pensively across from her, outside on the patio of Cat’s Corner. The evening air cools the simmering tension slightly, navy blue sky graduating into shades of night, coffee shop’s string lights brushing soft amber strokes onto his cheekbones. She’s got her matcha latte, and he opted for just herbal tea, which still sits steeping in the paper cup Dejun gave him at the register.

“Look, there’s...there’s a lot, I wish I had told you,” Yeri tries again. “I’m sorry, Jeno. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you everything about Mark. But you have to understand, Mark didn’t...he didn't really trust people with lots of stuff.”

“So why’d he trust you?”

Yeri feels like it’s a bit too pointed, but she forgoes trying to defend herself, understanding that Jeno’s still upset, this isn’t about her. “What do you mean?”

“Why’d he trust you, instead of me?” Jeno says again, and even though the cadence of his voice always rings polite, the lingering bitterness to his words still stings.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I honestly couldn’t tell you, why he trusted me with...stuff, this stuff, instead of you. Maybe it’s because we're the same age. Maybe he thought I would understand, because…”

 _No, don’t say that,_ Yeri thinks. _Don’t tell him it’s because you could relate in a way he can’t._

“Well, okay, let’s look at this way.” She takes a sip of her latte.

“You know your relationship with Mark better than I do. But think about it like this. Doyoung’s my older brother, right?” she explains. “And even though we get along, for the most part, I don’t tell Doyoung about a lot of stuff. Like, about anything that’s happened this summer. I mean, you haven’t told Taeyong or Sunmi about anything that’s happened, have you?”

“No,” Jeno says, but he doesn’t look convinced.

“Something I’m scared about, personally, is that if I tell something to Doyoung, he’ll tell my parents,” she continues. “Because from his perspective, that’s just his way of looking out for me. And it’s not like I never trust him, I do. But not with everything. Because I really, _really_ don’t like it when he does that.”

There’s a crack in his aloof exterior, and that’s how Yeri knows she’s getting through to him, so she tries again.

“Even though I don’t know all the reasons why Mark kept this stuff secret, that’s just one possible reason he might have kept it from you,” Yeri says, taking another sip of her latte before continuing. “Like I said, you know your relationship with Mark better than I do. But–”

And she hesitates, really considering the weight of what she’s about to say, because she knows it will cut to the bone, but something so sharp just might pierce through the ice–

“–I mean, Taeyong didn’t tell you everything either, right?”

And Jeno tenses, and she can see the shimmer of anger in his eyes. It’s a gamble, bringing Taeyong up. But if he can understand how there might be similarities between Taeyong and Mark, then she’ll finally get through to him.

It’s not his fault. She knows how protective Jeno’s siblings are of him, even if that meant keeping him in the dark.

“No, he didn’t,” he admits, hostility slowly easing out of his body.

“So maybe it was the same, with Mark,” Yeri says. “I’m not saying they’re the same. I don't know everything. I don’t know what happened to Mark after I dropped him off that night, Jeno. Cross my heart and hope to die.” And to prove her point, she raises her pinky and gestures over her chest, so he knows she’s serious.

“All I know is what he told me, when I was driving him home. That’s all I know about.”

But that’s not entirely true. 

_You know he was in Jaehyun’s car that night, from the photo_ , she thinks to herself.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Jeno says.

“I never told you because...because it wasn’t my place to tell. Because if Mark didn’t tell you, then how could I? You know how I feel about telling other people’s secrets.”

“Snitches get stitches,” he thinks out loud.

She nods her head. “Yeah. Maybe I get this protective about keeping people’s secrets, because Doyoung and Jennie don’t know the line, sometimes, between what’s okay to tell people and what’s not. But that doesn’t matter. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Jeno. I really am, I just...I want you to understand why I didn’t, if Mark hadn’t told you anything either.”

At this point, Yeri feels like she’s said everything she wanted to say, and leans back a bit in her chair, studying Jeno’s expression carefully. Lost in thought, consternation painted in the crease of his furrowed eyebrows, the stillness in his unfocused eyes staring at the table. Some people walk past them on the patio, opening the front door, revealing the whirring of espresso machines and footsteps of mundane moments inside Cat’s Corner.

“I hate all these secrets,” Jeno says out of the blue, Yeri attentively listening to his each and every word. Removed of their sentiment, only left with unspoken honesty. “Mark keeping secrets, telling them to you, you keeping them from me...I wish there weren’t any secrets to begin with.”

She can’t help but smile, at how pure that sounds. “I wish life could be that simple,” Yeri says. “Maybe in a perfect world, where there’s no such thing as secrets. But where we are now…everything is anything but perfect.”

Hands cupping his tea, steam rises gently as Jeno finally takes a sip, before setting it back on the table. “Yeah, this...I’m sorry, that I was mad at you guys,” Jeno sighs.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.”

“No, I do,” Jeno says. “I was mad at you and Renjun, but you...you weren’t who I was really mad at, and I’m sorry I lashed out at you guys.”

“Then who were you mad at?”

“I was mad at Mark,” Jeno admits. “For not telling me any of this. For trusting you guys, with these...these secrets he had. Instead of trusting me.”

The words halt a bit, stop as she notices him look down.

“I guess I was just angry with myself too, for thinking that Mark told me everything, that he was honest with me the same way I was with him.”

Yeri gets it. She imagines herself in that position, if Jennie or Doyoung had gone missing, and she found out that either of them had told Jeno and Renjun things they didn’t trust her with, how much that’d hurt…

But then she realizes she doesn’t really trust them that much either, after talking to Jeno. And she does the exact same with them, so it probably wouldn’t hurt, considering she’d understand why they would. And that’s the difference between her and Jeno.

“I know this is really...it’s really messed up. There’s no other way of putting it, this is just messed up,” she says. “And I know how hard it’s been on you. Now that you’re finding out all this stuff he kept from you, from us...I get it, why you’re angry. But I hope you know you can still trust us.”

“I...I want to,” he hesitates. “I want to trust you guys. Because you’re...you’re my best friends.”

“I know, and you’re one of mine too,” she responds with equal inflection. “If you want to know, then I’ll tell you what Mark told me that night. Because you are my friend, and I want you to trust me.”

“Even if you did...I don’t know if I’ll stop being angry,” Jeno sighs. “I thought that’s what I wanted. This whole time, I was so mad at you and Renjun for never telling me anything. But now that I know, and that you want to tell me, but Mark didn’t...it just makes me even angrier.”

“At me?”

“At Mark,” he replies, looking off for a bit before returning her gaze. “It’s...I don’t know. It was already hard, when...well, you know. All the stuff with Taeyong happened.”

She tenses a bit. That would be something she’d have to tell Jeno, if he wanted to know. And she’s not sure if she’s strong enough to do that, even though she just said she’d tell Jeno the whole truth.

“I get it,” she says, careful not to show how conflicted she feels. “I get how it might be the same, learning all this stuff about Mark that changes how you see him. The same as Taeyong.”

Stilled movements, softening eyes, and the ambient noise of the coffee shop slowly drips into the crevices of silence, distracting conversations and steaming milk precipitating his next words.

“Is what you know...he told you something that night, right?”

“Yes.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He wanted to...he...it was about Haechan,” she says carefully. "He wanted to talk to him."

A flash of shock and she already knows the sight of betrayal in his eyes. It’s the same color as the ice she saw up on that trail, when he recoiled against Renjun.

She doesn't know what she’s going to do, if she has to tell him Donghyuck was the one behind the Taeyong thing. Because he’s going to ask why Mark wanted to break up with him a second time. And then she’ll be stuck, between the promise she’s told Jeno just now, and the promise she’d made him over a year ago.

“Why did he want to talk to him?” Jeno asks.

“It’s...complicated,” she hesitates, taking a deep breath. “And I think...actually, I think this is something I need to tell you somewhere else.”

There’s a quirk to his eyebrow. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with right here?”

“Just come with me,” she says, standing up as she starts walking towards her car. Looking back, she sees Jeno follow her, and so she unlocks the door, then waits for Jeno to close the passenger side.

“What is it?”

“It’s complicated because, well...Mark was going to talk to Haechan, because he wanted to...to end things with him,” Yeri says reluctantly.

“What do you mean, end things?”

“As in...break up with Haechan, who was his boyfriend at the time.”

As quick as the final syllable leaves her mouth, she studies his reaction closely. His expression’s more complicated than Renjun’s face when she’d confessed, but less checked than Jaemin’s when she’d explained everything.

“They...Haechan...and Mark, they were…”

“That’s why, Jen,” she states sadly, seeing the pain tucked into the stresses of Jeno’s forehead, the affliction set in his eyes. “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. And that’s probably why Mark didn’t want to, either.”

“Mark, he was...was he gay?”

“I don’t know how Mark identified himself,” she reaches over to rub his shoulder, trying to be as soothing as she can. “But he wasn’t exactly straight. And I know he liked Donghyuck, a lot.”

She pauses, wondering if she should say this, but...it is the truth, so…

“I think...well, I think he loved him.”

“Oh.”

Jeno doesn’t say anything else but that for one minute.

“And he didn’t...I get it,” Jeno says, and she doesn’t expect it, when she sees a single tear stream down his face. “I get it now.”

“What?”

“It’s because...I, I get it now, why he never told me, never told any of us,” Jeno sniffles a bit, wiping it away. “He...it’s because of…”

The words start to choke him out, and the struggle aches her chest, seeing him so disheartened. “It’s not your fault. He had his own reasons but it was never, ever because of you. He just didn’t want you to know, okay? Who cares about why.”

“But I should’ve done something, I would’ve done something, if he had told me.”

“And that’s not your fault. It’s not your fault Mark didn’t tell you.”

“But–”

Her phone buzzes in her pocket. Jeno snaps out of his hazy distress, stares straight at her. “Who’s calling you?”

She pulls her phone out. “Don’t worry,” she says. “It’s just Renjun calling me, see?”

He starts breathing again when he sees Renjun’s contact name on her screen. “Oh.”

Then he turns curious with caution. “Why’s he calling you?”

“Well...actually, that’s why I wanted to get you back in the car,” Yeri admits. “Besides telling you about Mark and Donghyuck. We’re going to The Vending Machine.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m not the only one who has to tell you stuff.”

And she knows Renjun told her not to, but this feels like the right thing to do.

“And if anyone deserves to know everything, it’s you.”

She presses the audio power button and Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love A Bad Name” starts blaring on her car speakers.

***

In the garish glow of fluorescent neon signage, three teenage boys sit on the dilapidated bench in front of The Vending Machine, their backs to the brick wall of the convenience store. 

Donghyuck sports a pastel-blue graphic tee with “GOLF” written on the front (she remembers picking it out for him with Renjun at a street fair). Renjun’s dark blue and yellow bomber jacket casts darker shadows in its folds and creases, making him appear less boyish than usual, more matured. And Jaemin wears different clothes, changed into a striped pink-and-white knit sweater with royal blue stitched on the collars and wrists, now sporting slacks with dress shoes.

It’s almost farcical, how much they and their blues contrast against one another. And how their heads all turn, seeing her pull into the sparse parking lot.

Each of them reacts differently upon seeing Jeno walking next to her.

“Jeno, hey!” Donghyuck exclaims, standing up and the other two following suit.

“You...Yeri brought you?” Renjun asks, but she won’t be intimidated.

Jaemin opens his mouth halfway, but hesitates, stays silent.

It’s eerie, how little this feels like friends hanging out. Instead, it reminds her of seeing Officer Jung at the police station last week. Less friendly, more procedural, like she’s brought Jeno along to identify the suspect in a line-up as he quietly regards each of them.

“I know you said not to tell him anything,” she says, and it’s palpable, the uneasiness emanating from Renjun as his eyes dart quickly between her and Jeno. “But if you want to talk to me, then you have to talk to him, too.”

“Why, are you two a package deal now?” Donghyuck jokes, but that makes everything that much more awkward, Jeno shifting uncomfortably to her right. She glares at Donghyuck and he sheepishly averts eye contact.

“We’re in this together now,” she states. “No more keeping secrets from him, okay? Because I’m sick of having to deal with...with this. All these secrets...that’s probably why Mark’s still missing, getting drowned in them.”

The three of them want to say something, but no one bites the bullet. 

Four minutes later, they’ve followed her into Archer’s, the unassuming pizza parlor next to the convenience store, connected by a doorway between the two. She orders a garlic-chicken pizza, they each pull out three dollars from their wallets to give to her, Renjun gets water while the rest of them get a soda from The Vending Machine’s vending machines, and now the five of them are seated in a dingy corner booth on a mild summer’s night.

“So, why’d you have us all meet tonight?” she asks.

Instead of Renjun, Donghyuck takes the lead. “Like you said, we haven’t been completely honest with you guys. _I_ haven’t been honest with you guys.”

“How so?”

“I’m the one who had Mark’s DS.”

Her grip around her bottle of blue lemonade tightens, condensation damp against the palm of her hand.

“What DS?” Jeno says.

“I got a package, over a week ago,” Yeri explains tightly, so many alarm bells going off in her head, because Donghyuck had the DS, and that was in the package, and the text from Simon, “the day after you got Mark’s postcard at your office. It had Mark’s DS and the Vans sweatshirt he was wearing that night. Along with a postcard from Los Angeles.”

“I didn’t have all of that,” Haechan clarifies. “I had the DS, but that was it. I didn't have anything else in that package, Yeri.”

“Then why’d you have his DS?”

“It all started, really, the day we went down to Santa Cruz for lunch at the farmer’s market,” Donghyuck explains, looking at Jeno intently. “I got the DS the day before Jeno saw that girl, when you picked him up and got Mark’s postcard.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that, just stares at Renjun, now realizing that they’ve been exchanging information before Renjun called her to meet tonight.

“She...she also told me...is it true?” Jeno asks quietly. “Did you and Mark…”

“Yes, we did,” Haechan confirms. “And I’m sorry I never told you, but you have to understand...Mark was my boyfr–”

“Best friend’s brother,” Renjun cuts him off, annoyed. “He’s not your boyfriend anymore if he was going to break up with you.”

Haechan gawks at Renjun incredulously. “Ouch.”

“Yeah, that was kinda harsh, Renjun,” Yeri says.

“What? It’s the truth,” Renjun shrugs. “He was going to break up with you. I told you that.”

“Technically, I never saw him the night he disappeared, so he’s still my boyfriend.”

“Do you _really_ want to get into the technicalities?” Jaemin asks, unimpressed. “That’s the hill you want to die on, of all things?”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Anyways, I don’t know what happened to Mark, any more than the four of you do, if that’s what you’re wondering. I only know who gave me the DS.”

“Who?” she asks.

“Someone playing a game of Simon says.”

“You mean–”

“Yes, same as you.”

Relief seeps through her veins as her core releases the tension, the suspicion she’s held for so long. She’d always thought of Donghyuck as innocent, even with the shit he’s pulled in the past. But to hear it, know that he’s not the one behind this...it feels cathartic.

She turns to Jaemin now. “Well, if we’re all being honest...you should tell them about the journal, no? Because it’s probably the same Simon that Mark was talking about.”

All eyes turn to Jaemin.

“Who’s Simon?” Jeno asks.

“What the hell is she talking about?” Donghyuck demands.

Like the flick of switch, Jaemin’s posture changes, demeanor less reserved and more alert. “Mark’s journal entry. I got it in the mail, after coming home from the farmer’s market with Renjun. I told Yeri about it the morning we were supposed to go to Santa Cruz, and I was going to tell the rest of you about it either way, but now seems like a good time, especially for some extra confirmation from Jeno and _Haechannie_.”

Haechan scowls. “I told you you’re not allowed to call me that.”

“Why not? It suits you,” he states pleasantly, with a genteel grin in spite of Donghyuck’s indignant glare. “Makes you sound cuter than you actually are.” 

It’s almost uncanny, the thin veneer of clinical condescension behind Jaemin’s words.

To her surprise, he pulls the envelope out of his pocket, presents it like evidence. She didn’t think he carried it around with him. “Feel free to read it too, Renjun.”

After Jeno’s finished reading it, he hands it over to Renjun.

“That’s his handwriting,” Jeno says, voice quiet. “That’s his writing. Who...who’s Simon, who is that, that he said he was going to meet? Is he involved in that Simon Says thing you mentioned earlier, Haechan?”

“He wrote about me, didn’t he?” Donghyuck says, ignoring Jeno as his eyes lock with Jaemin, not even studying the paper as he slides it back to him. “That’s why Yeri told you about us, probably.”

“And how would you know that?” Jaemin replies, almost like it’s a challenge. “Are you the one who sent this to me?”

“Typical of him,” Donghyuck says, also ignoring Jaemin’s question, still refusing to break eye contact. “He wasn’t very careful, back when we first started going out. I’d sneak a peek at his journal, catch him writing about me instead of actually talking to me.”

“You’d take those pages from the mailbox, is what you did,” Renjun snaps. “Come on, Haechan. You defeated the whole point of leaving stuff there.”

“Mailbox?” Yeri says. “What mailbox?”

“Whatever,” Haechan retorts. “It’s not my fault he never wanted to tell me anything. Reading them let me know him better than actually dating him.”

“ _What mailbox_?” she repeats.

Renjun turns to Jeno now, sees him square in the eye. “That selfie of us, that you got,” he begins, commandeering their attention towards him. “It’s because me and Hyuck, we had an old abandoned mailbox up there with Mark, on that trail.”

The two of them explain it, how they found it over winter break with Mark a year and a half ago. Used that abandoned mailbox as a treasure chest for their secrets–

“What? Why?!” Yeri blurts out loud before she can stop herself. “Why would you...were you guys just _that_ stupid?”

“Hey, you think we knew we’d end up where we are right now?” Haechan says sarcastically. “It’s not like I’m last name Baxter, first name Raven.”

–and how it went missing the same time Mark did.

“And then it ended up in the back of my mom’s car,” Donghyuck says. “And Simon told me to put it back, or else.”

“Order number 119!”

They all glance at the counter, where their pizza rests atop the laminate. Jaemin gets up to retrieve it. “Just letting you kids know, we close in half an hour,” the cashier says coarsely. 

“Got it, thanks for letting us know!” Jaemin replies, voice much peppier than how he had sounded earlier.

“You know, you’re not supposed to be out past 10, curfew for minors and all,” he says.

“We know, don’t worry, we’ll be home safe,” Jaemin smiles.

Sometimes it freaks Yeri out, how easily Jaemin switches on his charm when he wants to. 

“Alright, just wanna make sure you kids don’t get yourselves into trouble.”

If only the cashier knew the truth.

Jaemin sets the pizza in the middle of the table, handing each of them a paper plate. Jeno takes the first slice, not even waiting before biting in with veracity. Yeri realizes this is probably his dinner.

She takes the second slice, Donghyuck the third.

“You guys aren’t going to eat?” Donghyuck asks between a mouthful.

“Coffee, not hungry,” Renjun says shortly.

“I had dinner with my family beforehand,” Jaemin replies.

 _Explains why he's changed clothes_ , Yeri thinks. Maybe also why he was in a mood.

“Both your dads?” she asks.

“No, just one,” he replies curtly, but even with just three words, his unbothered facade can’t mask disappointment. She’s known him long enough to see through it. But Jaemin’s never one to open himself up for too long. “Anyways, you were saying about the mailbox, _Haechannie_?”

 _Haechannie_ rolls his eyes before swallowing his latest bite. “Long story short, the reason I had the DS and the mailbox is because Simon gave them to me. Said I had to put it back with the mailbox, or else.”

“Or else what?” Jaemin says.

“Oh, and Simon is this freak who’s been blackmailing me and trying to frame us for Mark’s disappearance, by the way. To answer your question, Jeno,” Haechan says, taking another bite of pizza. “Sorry for ignoring you earlier. Just wanted you to have all the context, wouldn’t want to worry that pretty face of yours,” he winks. 

She notices the delicate blush forming on Jeno’s cheeks and the immense displeasure forming at the corners of Jaemin’s lips.

“Or else _what_?” Jaemin repeats, more of a menacing edge this time.

Haechan only glares at him. “Or else I go to jail for Mark’s murder.”

Jeno almost chokes on his slice of pizza.

“Hey, come on,” she snaps. “Don’t joke about that stuff.”

“I’m not joking,” he says after taking a sip of his Sunkist.

“But you just said you don’t know what happened to Mark,” Jaemin narrows his eyes.

“I don’t,” Haechan retorts. “But Simon’s going to try framing me for his disappearance, painting me as his secret crazy boyfriend who killed him. And use the dirt he has on me to discredit my character.”

“What dirt?” Jeno asks. “Yeri told me he was going to break up with you that night, Renjun said it earlier too. Is...what’s the dirt?” 

Yeri stares at Renjun nervously, because even though she hasn’t told Jeno, one of them has to. Simon’s dirt on Haechan, that’s Jeno’s answer.

But she’s caught off-guard when Haechan decides to do it.

“The dirt–”

“Haechan don’t–”

“–the dirt is the Taeyong thing,” Haechan says, eyes focused on him.

“What...wait, what do you mean?”

“ _Haechan_ ,” Renjun warns him, but it’s too late.

“The Taeyong thing, Jeno...I did that to him. That’s my dirt. And that’s why Mark wanted to break up with me.”

“What do you mean...wait…”

They all see the flash of realization in Jeno’s eyes.

“ _YOU?!_ You’re the one who–”

“Jeno–”

“You’re the one who–”

“It’s not important,” Jaemin regards him carefully. “And I’m not...let’s not put all the blame on Haechan either.”

Renjun swiftly glances at Jaemin. “What do you mean by that?”

“Because I’m the one who helped him do it,” Jaemin admits. “I’m not going to let him take the blame when...I started it all.”

Now they’re all staring at Jaemin, realizing the weight of his words. Haechan does a double take, surprised that Jaemin has come to his defense with an admittance of complicity.

The tension threatens to over boil again, like it had back on the hill. 

“What?!” Yeri gasps in shock.

“You...you helped him do that?” Renjun says quietly.

Disappointment falls across his face, but Jaemin doesn’t deny it.

“Yes,” he admits. “I’m...I helped Haechan do it.”

And then it boils over.

“And you just _helped_ him?!” Jeno’s trying hard to keep his voice down but it’s growing louder with each word, the other diners and now even the cashier glancing in their direction. “You both knew–”

“Jeno, focus, focus on what’s important,” Renjun says, trying to rein in his rage. “Yes, Haechan...Haechan did that, to Taeyong. And I guess – well, Jaemin helped him, yes. But that’s not why we’re here tonight–”

“How could you?!” Jeno rasps, voice sounding somewhere between a muted, ferocious scream and a choked, broken sob. “How could you guys do that to–”

“I’m not proud of it,” Haechan says, his voice hushed for the first time tonight. “I’m not proud of what I did. But I’m...I’m not that person anymore. And you–”

“I don’t care! You–”

“We’ve changed,” Jaemin says steadily. “A lot has changed since last summer.”

“I DON’T CARE–”

“But you should care,” Yeri stops him, tempering the tension at their table. “And you _do_ care, because it’s the same deal with Mark, too.”

Jeno’s head swings back to bore irate enmity into her vision. “ _What_?” he spits out venomously. “How can you even compare–”

“Because if you can understand Mark keeping stuff from you the same way Taeyong did, then you can understand Haechan and Jaemin changing the same way Taeyong has too, right?”

The smouldering in his eyes doesn’t die, but the rage in his expression softens.

“I’m sorry, Jeno,” Haechan apologizes. “‘I’m sorry. You don’t have to accept my apology. I don’t expect you to. The only person who can is Taeyong and...well, I doubt he ever would–”

“He would,” Jeno says bitterly, not lighting the fuse but holding it tenuously in his hands. “You don’t know him, Hyuck. He’s changed, he _would_ forgive you.”

“So if Taeyong’s changed after a year, why can’t you believe we have, too?” Jaemin asks. 

Quiet looms overhead. No one speaks to break the ice, because if it cracks, they all fall into the freezing depths waiting below.

So Renjun decides to move them across before it shatters beneath their feet.

“Okay, well regardless of what happened with Taeyong, focusing on that doesn’t get us any closer to figuring out what happened to Mark. No, that doesn’t excuse what Jaemin and Haechan did. But we’re here to talk about Mark, Jeno. And he’s our friend and your brother who’s still missing, so please...can we focus on that?”

Jeno’s frown twists even tighter. Yeri touches his shoulder, feels the anger emanating off his chest, but she remains perseverant. 

“Please, Jeno. It’s the truth. That’s what you wanted all this time, right? A world without secrets,” she tells him softly.

He doesn’t say anything at first, and then–

“So why’s this Simon guy framing you then, Haechan?” Jeno says. “Maybe you deserve it, if you did that to Taeyong, because who knows what else you’re capable of?”

“Jeno–”

“Are you Simon?” Jeno asks menacingly. “Are you just fucking with us, to get back at the fact that Mark was totally in the right for wanting to break up with a psychopath?”

“ _Dude–_ ”

“It’s fine, guys, he has every right to be mad. I would be too,” Haechan says, glances at Renjun. “Should I show them?”

“Show us what?” Jaemin says.

“Show them,” Renjun nods.

Haechan pulls his wallet out of his pocket, retrieves a folded piece of paper. Yeri notices there’s a jagged slit in the middle.

“What’s that?” she asks.

“Simon’s manual for solving Mark’s murder.”

That catches the rest of their attention. Even Jeno gets shocked out of his anger.

“Read them, the instructions, if you want,” Haechan says plainly. “And if not, well...either way, I’ll tell you what happened, the day I got that text.”

Seven minutes later, even after Haechan explains how he got the instructions and Renjun shows them Simon’s death threat text, Yeri still feels violated. Knowing what’s written in those instructions creeps the hell out of her. She knows Jeno feels the same way, given how quiet he’s been, all his rage evaporated into frigid, fearful emptiness.

“I...I’m sorry, Hyuck,” she finally says. “For thinking you...you did this, fuck, how...I would’ve just broken down, if I found all that by myself at night.”

“Yeah, well…” he glances at Jeno, who hasn’t moved a muscle since reading them. “A lot can change in a year.”

“Do you think...do you think Simon murdered Mark?” Jaemin asks quietly. “Mark wrote in the journal entry that he was going to meet Simon, figured out who he was. And Simon, he almost sounds like he’s gloating, about Mark’s murder.”

“I don’t know,” Haechan sighs. “I wish we could just ask Simon. But that’s not how anonymous psychopaths work, Jaem.”

“But why would he do this to you?” Yeri says. “Why does he want to frame you?”

“Up and down, up and down, I will lead them up and down,” Renjun states. “I am feared in field and town. Goblin, lead them up and down.”

“What is that from?” Yeri asks.

“A Midsummer Night’s Dream _._ ”

Jaemin’s eyebrows frown. “Why are you suddenly quoting Shakespeare?”

“Because that’s Simon’s game that he keeps talking about,” Renjun surmises. “Divide and conquer by scaring all of us into lying and betraying each other.”

Renjun and Haechan finish explaining their theory, and Yeri feels like she's back in Mr. Kim’s math class, trying to follow a concept but failing to understand it herself. 

The first half, she gets. That Simon’s trying to get them to turn on each other, so he can frame them all for Mark’s murder, that’s the game he’s playing. But where she loses the thread is when they try connecting it back to Jeno’s mystery girl. _The wildcard_ , as Renjun calls her.

“She took the mailbox, and she put the DS plus the sweatshirt, postcard and ticket into a package for you, Yeri,” Haechan concludes. “She’s a brand new player, and she stole part of the game. That’s why he’s mad.” Having finished explaining, he finishes off his pizza crust, wiping the grease off his fingers with a napkin.

“It doesn’t explain everything, of course,” Renjun replies. “Like how Simon got the DS in the first place. Or where she got Mark’s aquarium ticket and sweater if...well, if Mark actually met Simon that night.”

“But how does that make any sense?” Yeri says. “How do you know Simon and the mystery girl aren’t playing on the same team here?”

“The postcards,” Rejun says, gently sliding his first slice of pizza onto a paper plate. “They’re her motif, her signature move, whatever you want to call it.”

“But postcards don’t prove that they’re not on the same team,” Jaemin notes. “They could just be coordinating, Simon working on framing Haechan, the mystery girl framing me and Jeno, with you and Yeri being the overlap.”

Renjun gazes at Jaemin gingerly, as if waiting for him to figure it out. Yeri sees a hint of overlapping adoration and disappointment in his eyes, dingy lighting from the overhead lamp illuminating his irises.

“But she’s not,” Renjun suggests, “because if she wanted to frame you for Mark’s murder, then why did Jeno see her? Don’t shoot the messenger.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jaemin says.

_Don’t shoot the messenger._

And then suddenly, it clicks in Yeri’s mind.

Jeno sees her, then finds the postcard. The day after, she gets the package on her porch, labelled as a mail order. Then Jaemin gets Mark’s journal entry, disguised as college junk mail. And a week later, Renjun found the mailbox.

Jeno saw the messenger.

“Because Jeno saw her, that’s why,” Yeri says feverishly. “And that’s when we all started getting Mark’s stuff in the mail. And then when Jeno saw her, that morning, afterwards, Renjun found the mailbox, but it wasn't where Haechan had first put it.”

She glances between Haechan, who sports a smirk, and Renjun, the crease of his eyebrows angled intensely. They’ve already figured it out, but were waiting for them to catch up.

“But that still doesn’t explain why you think she’s not working with Simon,” Jaemin argues. “How do you know Simon didn’t coordinate everything with her?”

“Because Jeno saw the messenger,” Yeri says. “That’s why, Jaem. She’s probably as clever as Simon, if she knows about the mailbox. And we’ve never seen Simon, but Jeno’s seen her. She’s let Jeno find her twice now. Simon wants us to get framed, but she wants us to follow her lead.”

“Wow, wouldn’t have expected Yeri to figure it out before you,” Donghyuck smirks.

Jaemin scowls at him. “Shut up.”

“But why? Why can’t she just talk to us?” Yeri asks.

“Because she knows that Simon’s watching us,” Renjun finishes.

Yeri and Jaemin stare at him with shocked skepticism.

“What?” they both say.

“She’s the only one, besides us and Mark, who knows about Simon and Irene, because she gave you two the leads connecting Mark to them,” Haechan explains. “Simon from Mark’s journal entry, Irene from Mark’s postcard. But for some reason, she doesn't trust turning those leads into the police. Instead, she’s giving them to us. Because she thinks Simon’s going to frame us for Mark’s murder.”

“Think about it,” Renjun says. “Jeno’s the only one who’s seen her. Me, Haechan, and Yeri have all gotten a text from Simon, and given his texts to Haechan, he’s watching us closely. You’re probably getting the next text, Jaemin.”

She notices Jaemin tense.

“But Jeno’s the only one who Simon hasn’t texted, and for some reason Jeno’s also the only one she trusts enough, when she let him meet her in Santa Cruz,” Renjun continues. “And Jeno won’t hear from Simon because–”

“Because you don't know anything,” Yeri realizes, turning to Jeno. “Because you never knew any of Mark’s secrets, and you can’t get implicated in his disappearance for that, so Simon has nothing on you. That's why she visited you.”

“That’s why he saw her in Santa Cruz, not Journey,” Renjun concludes. “Because Santa Cruz is way bigger than Journey. It’d be harder for Simon to know she’s there.”

”And the journal entry just proves our theory. She’s definitely read it, so she knows why Mark went missing that night, if he met Simon,” Haechan continues. “So clearly, she has the evidence to incriminate both us and Simon if she wanted to. But only one psychopath is doing that, and we all know his name, while we don’t know hers but she’s only been leaving mail.”

Jaemin’s voicemail…

Suddenly everything makes sense.

“Fuck, it makes sense, doesn’t it? The voicemail now,” Yeri turns to Jaemin, and then they’re all staring. Jaemin seems slightly flattered by all the eyes on him.

“What voicemail?” Renjun questions.

_Shit._

Snitches get stitches.

“Shit, sorry, I forgot you haven’t told them yet–”

“It’s fine. I was going to tonight, anyways. But you know, the fact that they figured this out, without the journal entry and the voicemail...well done, you two,” Jaemin congratulates them begrudgingly, slow-clapping twice for Renjun and Haechan. “Well done.”

“What voicemail?” Renjun restates, firmer this time.

“Yeah, _what_ voicemail?” Donghyuck repeats, more menacing.

After Jaemin finishes explaining the voicemail, Renjun gazes at him, meditates on Jaemin’s face. It’s barely there, but she catches it, the moment of eye contact between them. A split-second of transient electric potential crackling between them, before Renjun looks away, but Jaemin’s still contemplating it.

She makes a mental note to follow up on that later, figure out what the hell is going on between them.

“Why didn’t you tell us, Jaemin?” Haechan asks, voice low with simmering displeasure. “Why didn’t you tell any of us about that message?”

“Because none of you would have believed me until now,” Jaemin says bluntly, tension so thick she could cut through it with a knife. “I deleted it, because I thought Mark was at their party that night, on a bad trip or something. I had no idea what he was saying, when he talked about Simon.”

“Was he...was he scared?” Jeno asks, the first words he’s spoken since reading the instructions from Simon. “Was he...was he scared of Simon?”

It snaps them all out of it, the feverish rush of figuring it out.

Yeri feels guilty, she’s sure the others do too. They’ve become so fixated on figuring it out, piecing the puzzle together, forgotten that while they had some of the pieces, Jeno’s been left completely in the dark by everyone. And here they are, talking about the pieces like Simon said – like it’s a _game_.

But Yeri realized this is more than just a game for him. All these new revelations are probably hitting him hard, changing how he views everyone at this table, and the person missing most from it.

 _We’re here for you_ , she’d told Jeno in the car, back when he cried about missing Mark, thought he was being a burden. _Don’t ever forget it._

She’s not forgetting that. She notices the three of them deflate a little bit, snapped out of their frenzied posturing. Realizing that he’s probably overwhelmed by everything he learned tonight.

“Yes, he sounded scared of Simon,” Jaemin replies. He looks down at the table, waiting for Jeno to process this, for permission to speak. Jeno senses this, glances back up at him.

“When I got that voicemail…I thought he was at Johnny and Yuta’s party that night, and he was, well...not in the right state of mind,” Jaemin continues. “I thought he wasn’t...thinking straight, you know, because, well…”

“Because of Taeyong,” Jeno says, and they all hear it, the disappointment settling into his words. “You thought he was...yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin apologizes. “I know I should’ve thought about it more seriously that night. But I was tired, and Mark...he sounded out of it, so I just...I deleted it, because I didn’t think it was a big deal. But given what we know now...Simon definitely was.”

“It’s...it’s okay, Jaem,” Jeno says reluctantly. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know...you didn’t know that all this would happen. You...none of you had any idea Mark was going to get into as much trouble as he did.”

If it feels like déjà vu, it’s because Yeri realizes that’s exactly what she told Jaemin earlier today at Cat’s Corner, when she comforted him about it.

“No,” Jaemin replies quietly. “I didn’t know.”

Except this time, there’s no hesitation, reluctance to accept the apology. Jaemin just nods, acknowledges it as the inglorious forgiveness it is.

Jeno stares down at the half-eaten pizza, now room temperature and unappetizing.

“It’s why...it’s why you guys, why the mystery girl won’t tell me anything either, right?” Jeno speaks softly. “It’s why Simon hasn’t texted me either. Because like you said….no one ever told me anything.”

One pause.

“Because I was nothing but a burden to Mark,” he mumbles. “Because I’m...I’m just a liability, to you all.”

“Hey,” Yeri interrupts him, soothing his shoulders. “We’ve been over this, Jen. You’re not…none of us think of you like that.”

“Then why didn’t you guys ever tell me any of this?”

The easy answer would be to say what she always says. 

_Snitches get stitches._

But that’s not the answer Jeno needs, and that’s not the truth for any of them.

None of them know what to say. Uneasy silence settles again, prolonged as it sits amongst the five of them. Yeri ignores the uneasy feeling rising in her stomach.

“Hey, that's not your fault. You’re not the only one Mark kept stuff from,” Haechan replies. “He kept stuff from all of us, the same way we all kept stuff from you. From each other.”

”And now this Simon creep is the one threatening us with all our secrets, and...well, I don’t want any of us to end up like that, wherever Mark is right now,” Jaemin concludes carefully.

 _We still have all of this cruel summer left_ , Mark had said.

She gets it now, what Mark meant when he said that, the night he went missing.

“But we still aren’t any closer to figuring out where Mark went, that night,” Renjun sighs. “If Simon really did murder him.”

Yeri’s stomach twists at the thought of Mark being dead.

“Or why the mystery girl trusts us. And can't give the police the evidence directly, and tell them about Simon, if she knows he did it. But if Jeno finds the mystery girl again, she can give him some answers...and that might be our best shot.”

_Nothing good starts in a getaway car._

But Renjun’s wrong. Because if anything, Jaehyun is their best shot, he was with Mark that night, after she dropped him off.

Yeri feels guilty. These are her friends. It’s already a lot that they’ve put together, on their own. Between Jaemin’s sharp wit making connections, and Renjun and Haechan working together to see the bigger picture, all five of them know the game now. 

But they don’t have all the cards.

Yes, Joy’s her friend.

But so is Jeno.

And so is Mark.

“Renjun, remember how we got that picture, last week? Of Mark, in the car?” Yeri says.

Renjun glances at her. “What about it? I asked Haechan, he couldn’t figure out whose car it was, either.” He gives Jaemin a pointed look. “Guess we figured out who he called that night, though.”

“You didn’t figure it out, I simply told you,” Jaemin points out bluntly.

“Well, I...I know who our best shot is. It’s not the mystery girl.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I know who Mark was with that night.”

All eyes fall on her.

“I know whose car that is, in the text. I...I lied, Renjun. I lied when I said I didn't know.”

Even though the summer air lingers above, the world below turns cold as she feels Jeno’s breath curdle next to her.

“ _Who_?” Renjun asks, that same dangerous tone to his voice, the one he’d used with Jaemin earlier. “Who’s car is it? Who are you protecting, Yeri?”

“It’s–”

Her phone buzzes in her pocket.

She checks, and–

_SHIT._

She’s lost track of time.

“It’s my mom, sorry,” Yeri says, “Also, we should get going, they’re gonna close soon. You guys should get a to-go box for the pizza.”

“Where are you going?” Renjun says.

“To talk to my mom outside, don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere, wouldn’t leave Jeno here with the rest of you,” she jokes, noticing Jeno smiles at that. “Seriously, I’d rather that none of you hear my mom yell at me.”

She throws Jaemin a pity glance. And she knows he’ll get it, since he’s the one who called her earlier today to escape his parents fighting.

“We’ll see you outside,” Jaemin says, nodding for her to go.

Yeri smiles gratefully and then rushes out to answer.

“ _Eomma_?”

“Where the hell are you, Kim Yerim?!” Mom shouts in Korean on the other line. “I told you to call me by 9:30 if you weren’t planning to be home by 10:00!”

“I know, I’m sorry, I was just–”

“Making me worried sick, is this any way to treat your mother, Yerim!?”

It goes back and forth like this for a couple minutes. Mom makes empty threats to take her car away (she won’t, seeing as _she’s_ the one who complained about how inconvenient it was, having to drive Yeri around everywhere, _why haven’t you gotten your license yet Kim Yerim?_ ), and after one _we’ll talk about this more when you get home, Kim Yerim_ , there’s a tense pause, and she hears the sigh of relent. “Well, at least you’ve eaten something for dinner. And you’re with Jeno, right?”

“Yes.” 

“Good,” her mother chides her. “At least you’re safe.”

“Sorry for worrying you, _eomma_.”

“I’ll see you when you get home safely.”

“Okay, bye.”

Then she sighs and hangs up the call, breathing with relief that her mom isn’t too upset, but also knowing she’s really pushing her luck here. She remembers how much trouble Jennie got in last year, always going out with Jongin and Lisa, never telling Mom where she was, sleeping over at guy’s houses, their constant fighting about Jennie’s “outlandish” behavior. She doesn’t want to model her summer after that.

She turns around to see Jaemin, Haechan, and Renjun waiting behind her.

“So, are you a dead girl walking?” Donghyuck asks.

“Not until I get home,” she replies. “Where’s Jeno?”

“He had to pee,” Jaemin says.

“Is he still getting a ride home with me, or with you?” she asks Renjun. The door to The Vending Machine opens, she sees Jeno walk out with a Sprite.

“Yeah no, he’s getting a ride with you,” Donghyuck says. “He’ll probably kill me if he comes home with us. Me and Jaem should give him some space.”

“What about you, Jaemin?”

“He can get a ride from me, I picked him up earlier,” Renjun replies. “So, are you going to tell us whose car it was?”

Right.

“Yeah...about that, it’s–”

“Yeri,” Jeno interrupts them, face a ghastly pale in the glow of The Vending Machine, shaking up and down, phone gripped tight in his hand. “You...you guys weren’t lying, were you?”

Her mind goes blank. 

“What?” she says confusedly.

The other three turn to look at him. “What’s wrong?” Haechan asks.

“What...what did he leave for you?”

Immediately she seizes up, feeling her heart rate spike. 

_Nothing good starts in a getaway car._

“What...who?” she repeats. “What are you talking about?”

“What the hell’s in your trunk, Yeri?”

* * *

Chaeyoung finished her eyeliner and, looking in her vanity mirror, decided against adding blush, thinking that might look a tad lascivious. After all, it was just a party. And she wasn’t looking to do anything too...risky. Well, at least, not yet.

After all, it was the first ever high school party she’d be going to. This week, Chaeyoung’s parents were out of town, and she’d absolutely taken advantage of the opportunity. Although her grandmother had come to town to keep an eye on her, she really could do whatever she wanted. It’s why her mom had specifically made Chaeyoung write out her schedule for the week so she could know where her daughter was. 

And why she’d freaked out when she’d called the house earlier that day, and _halmoni_ happily stated Chaeyoung was enjoying the day off with some “fine young boys and girls”. 

Her phone buzzed, and she thought it was Dahyun, calling that she and Tzuyu were outside her house, but instead, it was someone else.

Someone she wasn’t expecting.

 _Why’s he calling me?_ she thought to herself.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Chae,” he said. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

“Uh...sure, what’s up?”

“Can you meet me at the Vending Machine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeri says snitches get stitches, but Kun’s just trying to keep up with the dishes.
> 
> -
> 
> Sidenote: the playlists have been updated with new music, feel free to check them out!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)   
>  [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)   
>  [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


	15. Familiar Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It feels maddening, like he’s losing his mind. “Can you just give me some space, for a bit?” Jeno asks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: blood

_So cut the headlights, summer’s a knife_

Cool drafts of air meander through the gentle dawn of Kun’s morning commute. Parked in front of weathered brick walls, he enters from the back door, heading into Cat’s Corner to start his shift. He slides some pastries into the oven that his manager (or Yixing, as he preferred to be called) made last night and left out on one of the display racks, in preparation for opening today.

Kun takes out the chocolate sauce, milk, and honey plus syrups, then places a bin of glasses onto the counter. After turning on the grinders, filling up the hoppers, and cleaning the steam wands, he makes his shift drink for the morning (an extra-hot flat-white). While the coffee brews for the first taste test, he re-stocks the bags of coffee in the display baskets, puts the papers on the newsstands, and decides to take one and peruse the headlines for the day. He notices one of the stories in the left column.

**_Mark Lee: Journey teenager still missing one year later_ **

There’s an old yearbook photo of Mark. Skims it over, doesn’t think much else of it, decides not to dwell on it too much. 

But man, poor Mark. Kun remembers when he last saw him, he had been here at the coffee shop to meet her, talking to her about potentially interning there for the summer. Didn’t think that’d be the last time he saw Mark Lee.

As he reads through the front page, he takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of ink on print mixing with the mundane aroma of morning coffee.

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

“Shit,” Yeri says under her breath.

Jeno glances over her shoulder to see the contact and–

“It’s my mom, sorry,” she says, getting up. “Also, we should get going, they’re gonna close soon. You guys should get a to-go box for the pizza.”

“Where are you going?” Renjun says, suspicious of her intentions.

“To talk to my mom outside, don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere, wouldn’t leave Jeno here with the rest of you,” she jokes. Jeno can’t help but smile at that, maybe feels like letting out a laugh for the first time this past week.

“Seriously, I just don’t want you guys to hear my mom yell at me,” Yeri says, glancing at Jaemin.

“We’ll see you outside,” Jaemin nods.

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

Kun nods along to blissful lofi as the morning grows warmer with gentle daylight. The sound of car exhaust and tires hitting pavement, people jogging and walking their dogs as the day graduates to brighter highlights and contrasts. Experiencing the world slowly waking up in the morning, it always gets him energized and excited for the day. 

Clanging of pots and pans as milk foams and coffee grinds, the smell of toasted bread and buttery crusts, the queue of sporadic early morning orders. Kun’s recently learned how to make some of the sandwiches, so he’s currently preparing a matcha latte for the sixth customer of the hour, plus a toasted bagel with cheese, egg, tomato, and arugula salad. Tossing the dressing with the greens, he adds them with the top half of the bagel, wrapping it in parchment paper and cutting down the middle.

He bags it and puts it next to the matcha latte on the counter.

“Matcha latte and veggie breakfast bagel!” he calls out to the sole customer in Cat’s Corner. 

The girl who ordered walks up. Her lips purse slightly as painted baby blue nails reach out to grab her order. For some reason, Kun thinks she looks familiar, but he doesn't know why. Maybe she’s a model or he’s seen her in an ad, because she’s incredibly beautiful.

“Thank you so much,” she smiles politely, before walking out with her food and drink. Kun almost forgets that he’s working as he watches her walk out, lost in a cloud of distracting thoughts.

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

It feels maddening, like he’s lost his mind. Sitting here at the table, while Jaemin walks up to the register to get a to-go box, leaving him behind with Haechan and Renjun at the table.

Last time he’d seen Haechan, he’d gotten lunch with him before soccer practice. Now, he’s getting pizza to-go with his missing brother’s boyfriend, maybe ex-boyfriend.

Last time he’d seen Renjun, he’d been so angry he never wanted to see him again. Now, he’s so tired that he never wants to feel that angry again.

Last time he’d seen Jaemin, he’d lashed out at him for saying that the truth hurts. Now, he sees why Jaemin said it, because it’s true. 

The truth hurts, and he realizes they’d all been keeping secrets not out of malice, but misguidance, because they didn’t want to hurt him. But none of that matters, when in the end, he still feels like everything has changed, nothing’s the same, and the only way out of this is to figure out the truth.

To finally know what happened to Mark that night.

“You holding up okay, Jeno?” Haechan asks casually, shoulders leaned back in the booth as he wraps an arm around Renjun. “I know it’s been a lot we’ve laid on you tonight. But we’re still friends, right? Otherwise who else will make your pretty little face sulk all whiny,” he coos. “Renjun sure can’t, he's too soft on you.”

Renjun tries to shove him off, but Haechan just wraps it around him tighter.

“Can you not?” Renjun says annoyedly.

“Why? Is there a reason you’re suddenly uncomfortable with me? We only did just spend the past three hours together figuring out we’re getting framed,” he says, shit-eating grin glued to his face. “Framed for the disappearance of Mark Lee, my estranged _boyfriend_.”

“Um...I’m doing okay, thanks,” Jeno tries.

“Just stop, okay? I know what you’re doing,” Renjun says, but he doesn’t try to move his arm this time, even leans into it a bit, eyes in Jaemin’s direction.

Jaemin walks back with the box, notices the arm wrapped around Renjun’s shoulder.

“Have you been working out?” Haechan teases, rubbing his hand across Renjun’s bicep. “I can really feel some muscle under there.”

“You’re the worst,” Renjun says with a smirk, shoving Donghyuck’s arm off of him. 

“So let’s follow Yeri out, yeah?” Jaemin says, unphased as he packs the pizza into the box.

“Sure, let’s go, _Injunnie_ ,” Haechan says, smirking back at Renjun as he grabs onto his wrist and pulls him up.

“You can carry this out, by the way,” Jaemin says as he lightly shoves the pizza box into Haechan’s chest, which Haechan manages to grab before it falls to the ground. “Since you ate most of it anyways.”

“What, are you saying I’m a fatass?” Haechan smirks. “Curvy is sexy.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You have a baby’s stomach, I’d hardly call that curvy or sexy. Neither of which you have in spades anyways,” Jaemin deadpans.

“Don't need to flatter myself much when other people do it for me.” He winks at Renjun.

“Oh, like who, Mark?” Jaemin says, still not a trace of emotion to his words or expressions.

_I think Renjun likes Jaemin. Or something like that._

Sicheng’s words still keep echoing in Jeno’s mind, tuning out their banter.

It’s like he’s living in a mad, mad world.

Maybe the three of them can act so casual, because for them, they already knew all this stuff. These secrets. Haechan and Renjun with the mailbox. Renjun and Jaemin with...well, whatever it is that they are. Haechan, knowing that Mark liked him, liked boys. The Taeyong thing.

But for Jeno, who’s only started discovering what’s buried six feet under, it’s driving him mad, how everyone can act so calm. So normal.

Like none of them are worried that his brother’s six feet under with those secrets too.

Fear quells up as he tries to calm down, but it hurts, everything just hurts. It’s too much.

Jaemin gives him a glance and nods his way. “You okay, Jeno?”

Jeno snaps out of it, clears his throat. “Yeah, um, I’m fine. Just...well, thinking about everything, that’s all,” he says.

Haechan’s cocky expression humbles a bit, eyes softened with genuine concern. “Hey, I’m seriously sorry we never told you,” he says. “About any of this stuff. And I’m sorry you’re getting dragged into this mess. You’re the good guy here. The rest of us...well, that remains to be seen.”

“It’s okay, really,” Jeno says, even though that’s a lie, none of this is okay, how is he supposed to be okay with any of this?

“No, it’s not,” Haechan replies, like he’s reading his mind. “I wish I could’ve told you about everything, I really do. But, well...outing Mark like that, when he’s not here...I didn’t want to do that. And it...well, there was never a right time to tell you about Taeyong.”

“No, seriously, it’s okay, please, I don’t want to talk about it,” Jeno says again, even though his chest tightens with anger settling into his heart.

“It’s okay if you’re not okay,” Renjun says. “I get it. All of us, we’ll get it if it takes awhile for you to trust us again...or at all, really.”

“No, you don’t,” he sighs, pulling away from them for a bit. “You guys...you don’t get it.”

The three of them stare at him now, faces lit by the glow of the convenience store refrigerators. “None of you will...it’s just...it’s just hard, okay? Just...give me time to process everything, please,” he says, that’s all he’s asking for. “It’s just a lot.”

Jaemin nods, looking at the other two expectantly. Their eyes exchange agreement.

“Can you just give me some space, for a bit?” Jeno asks. “Please?”

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

“Can you just be sure to make it extra hot this time?” a persnickety older gentleman asks him. The one who always asks for his mocha to be extra-hot yet never seems to remember that he’s repeatedly asked this of every barista who’s worked at Cat’s Corner. “I want that _extra_ hot, please.”

“Of course, sir!” Kun smiles.

“Last time it wasn’t _extra_ hot,” he says blandly.

“Sorry about that. We’ll be sure to make it extra hot this time!” Kun replies, even though he knows only Moonbyul makes it specifically the way he likes it, and her shift doesn’t start until 11:30, and why’s he stuck dealing with this curmudgeon today?

“Yes, please do that, _extra_ hot. Remember it this time, won't you?”

“Anything else?” Kun asks. _Besides being an extra pain in the ass?_ he thinks to himself.

“No, that’ll be all.”

“Alright, that’ll be $4.25.”

After ringing him up, Yixing walks over with some trays of used dirty dishes.

“Hey, Kun, can you restock the bathroom with paper towels?” Yixing says as he sets the dishes onto the counter. “One of the customers told me they’ve run out.”

“Alright, on it!” he says as he walks into the back room to get some.

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

Jeno walks into the bathroom and locks the door behind him, the fans whirring as he turns the lights on. He splashes some water onto his face before looking up into the mirror.

Sullen, that’s his first thought. He looks sickly, somehow paler than normal. Makes sense, since he’s been avoiding going out ever since that hell of a morning up that hill. Besides his internship and summer soccer camp, Jeno’s been avoiding everyone the past week. Cooped up inside, just avoiding responsibilities and texts and calls from his friends, the nightmares getting worse. Pretending everything’s fine to Taeyong and his parents, but it’s not. Still, he didn’t think he’d gotten this bad.

 _Sunmi’s coming home next week_ , he thinks to himself. _She’s probably going to ask what’s wrong, if you look like this. Do better, Lee Jeno._

He straightens up a bit, brushes the bangs out of his eyes, the dingy lightbulb highlighting the outline of his cheekbones. Fingers trace along the edges, all the way down to his jawline. Gives himself a tough look in the mirror, trying weakly to keep it together.

_Did you remember to check?_

He checks behind him – nothing besides the toilet. He sighs, shaking his head. The paranoia is getting to him.

Maybe he should also see a therapist, like Taeyong is.

 _Stop it_ , he shakes his head. _You’re fine._

There’s a knock on the door.

“Occupied!” Jeno says, and then he feels bad, realizes he needs to get out if he’s not actually using the restroom. He wipes his hands with some paper towels, takes a deep breath, and opens the door.

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

Kun opens the register and goes to get the change for the gentleman with the red coat, but he waves his hand. “It’s okay, keep the change,” he says.

“Oh, thank you!” he smiles, putting the coins in the tip jar. “Your coffee will be at the bar in a bit, sir, have a good day!”

“You too!”

The next customer arrives at the counter as Kun puts some frozen strawberries into the blender for a smoothie someone ordered. Then he gets to the counter to take the next order, as Moonbyul and the other barista work on the previous ones.

“Hi, what can I get started for you?” he says.

“I’ll have one cold brew, please,” the woman says. 

“And would you like any sweetener with that?”

“No thank you.”

“Okay, and can I get a name for the order?”

“Seohyun.”

“Americano for Key!” Moonbyul calls behind him.

“And would you like anything else today?”

“No, that’s all, thank you.”

“Alright, that’ll be $3.25, I’ll call your name out at the bar when your order is ready!” Kun says, taking her credit card and swiping it through the register.

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

Jeno doesn’t find anyone outside the door, looks to the register and sees the woman still seated behind it. Shrugging it off, he decides he wants another Sprite. Not the best decision, but maybe it’ll help calm his nerves. He goes to the cooler, opens the door to pick it out but–

There’s a pink envelope poking out behind the fourth Sprite bottle.

He glances back at the woman behind the counter. It’s not her. She’s not the mystery girl. Whoever knocked... _that’s who knocked_ , Jeno realizes. It was the mystery girl, not the woman at the register, otherwise she would’ve gone to use the restroom now.

He wishes he had the authority to ask for security footage, ask her questions on who was here. He looks around and can’t find anyone else in the convenience store. But someone had to have put it there. And he’s all too familiar with that particular shade of pink.

Jeno takes the envelope and goes into one of the aisles in the back of the Vending Machine, near the fruit snacks. It smells like strawberries. Opens the envelope, and it’s another postcard from Los Angeles, along with two business cards.

So Haechan and Renjun might be right, that the mystery girl is the one sending them postcards.

But why?

And why couldn’t she just meet him? Why did this keep happening to him? Why couldn’t she just tell him what happened to Mark?

Inhaling deeply, trying his best not to feel like he’s going mad, he takes the business cards out first.

The first of the two business cards is for Baekhyun Byun, Strategy Manager for Choi Company. That’s Jaemin’s dad, who works for the Big Three CKI chaebols located in San Francisco’s Financial District.

The second is for Hani Ahn, Clinical Psychologist, Ph.D. Jeno recognizes this one as well, since this is the business card for Taeyong’s therapist. Although he didn’t realize she also served as an Assistant Professor for Stanford’s Psychology department, which is the second line on her business card. 

Why were business cards included in the envelope? And why for Jaemin’s dad and Taeyong’s therapist? What did they have to do with anything?

Jeno decides he’ll figure that out later. He puts them back in the envelope, takes out the postcard, and turns it over.

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

Kun turns the music up a bit, enjoying the coffee shop playlist. It’s right before lunch, so he knows there will be downtime, as this lull during his morning shifts usually continues until around 12:15, when the lunch customers start piling in.

He hears the door open and looks up from his phone, placing it in his apron pocket as he greets the latest customer to Cat’s Corner.

Or rather, customers.

“Oh, hey! Didn’t know you were both back in town,” Kun smiles pleasantly. “Nice to see both of you again, what can I get started for you two this morning?”

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

Jeno finds two messages. Where the address should be on the right-hand side, instead it has a message written:

_She lost him  
But she found herself  
And somehow  
That was everything _

And on the left-hand side, instead of a message, he finds the following: 

_Circle one:_

JENO HAECHAN YERI

_Then circle back:  
_

1989 Garden Gate Lane  
Out Of The Woods  
Breakable → Heaven

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

Unbreakably bright blue skies shine outside the glass panes of Cat’s Corner, framed like paintings as sunlight diffuses through their glass panels. Kun’s back behind the counter, opening another bag of coffee beans to add to the machine. He’s got just about an hour and a half left on his shift, and rather than working the register he’s now busy making orders.

“I’ve got one iced Americano at the bar, for – oh, hey Jaehyun!”

“Hey Kun!” Jaehyun smiles as he walks up to the bar to get his iced Americano. “Busy day, huh?”

“Yeah, pretty busy,” Kun says. “Got a lot of orders to make! How’ve you been?”

“Good, you?”

“Well, busy!” Kun replies.

“Gotcha,” Jaehyun nods. “Well, I won’t keep you. Hey, you going to Johnny and Yuta’s party?”

“They’re having another party?”

“Sometime this weekend.”

“Oh! Well, yeah, I’ll try to come around,” Kun says, even though he won’t. He didn’t even know they were having a party, until Jaehyun told him just now.

“Nice, catch you later, dude,” Jaehyun waves as he walks out.

“See you!” Kun says as he gets started on another order.

He glances up briefly at Jaehyun again through the window, and sees him walking towards a Ford Explorer parked outside, opening the rear door on the driver’s side instead of the passenger side. He thinks it might be Johnny’s car since it looks like him sitting in the driver’s seat, unsure if there’s someone in the passenger seat too.

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

Jeno’s unsure of what to think.

_1989 Garden Gate Lane._

That’s an address. Specifically, it’s Jisung’s address. But what does Jisung have to do with anything? And sure, Joy’s dating Jaehyun, and Jihyo works down at Leeward and Seaside with him, but what do the Park siblings have to do with anything?

_Out Of The Woods._

That’s the phrase from the postcard Jaemin found next to him, when he got knocked out over a week ago after trying to chase the mystery girl. _Are we Out Of The Woods yet, Jaemin?_ But neither his nor Renjun’s name is written, only his name, plus Yeri and Haechan. Why? And where are the woods, if these are all places?

_Breakable → Heaven._

But what does that even mean? Why does breakable go to heaven? Is he supposed to know what that means? Or are Haechan and Yeri supposed to? 

And how did she even know that the three of them were here tonight, when as far as he knows, Renjun only _just_ texted Jaemin and Yeri tonight to meet here too? And if she knew they were all here tonight, then why wasn’t there an option for Jaemin or Renjun? But if this was also meant for Haechan or Yeri to find, then why would she include business cards for Jaemin’s dad and Taeyong’s therapist, when only Jeno would know both of those names? 

It doesn’t make any sense. Nothing about this makes any sense.

Jeno puts the postcard back in the envelope carefully and parks it in his pant’s back pocket, deciding he’ll do the right thing and turn this into the police tomorrow. He’ll show his mom, tell her everything that’s happened, and then he’ll tell Officer Jung everything too so they can move further into the investigation. That some random girl left one of Mark’s old postcards in his work mailbox, that there've been people messing with him and his friends, leaving hints that they might know what happened to Mark that night. They’ll probably find the mystery girl’s fingerprints on it, and then they’ll be able to identify who she is, and then Mark will finally be found.

He refuses to believe Mark is dead. Won’t accept that as a possibility. That the Simon dude that threatened Haechan and talked about Mark is lying.

He doesn’t know how he’ll stop his friends from getting in trouble if he tells them about the mystery girl and Simon, but at this point, Mark has to be found so he can come home. And Jeno will do whatever it takes to make that happen. Even if that means turning this in, and getting his friends into trouble.

But they’ve all kept secrets from him. So this will be the one he keeps from them.

It’s only fair, right?

If it means the end to all this.

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

About an hour before his shift ends, Kun’s back to working at the register while Moonbyul takes her ten-minute break in the storage room. Overall, it’s been a pretty uneventful afternoon, so he enjoys this time texting back some people and reading a webtoon at the counter, occasionally overhearing conversations in the coffee shop.

Eventually he gets distracted, and his mind drifts, overhearing one particular conversation.

“Do you think she knows?”

“No, and that’s why we have to tell her.”

The second voice sounds familiar, Kun looks up from his webtoon and sees Lucas, who’s talking to someone, but he can’t see who, as the view is obstructed by one of the bookshelves. He’s a bit surprised, since usually Lucas says hi whenever he sees Kun working at Cat’s Corner. But he figures that Lucas probably missed him while Moonbyul was working the register.

“We? Who is this ‘we’ you speak of?” the girl across from Lucas asks. Again, he wants to say her voice sounds familiar, like someone he’s heard at school. Maybe it’s Yuqi? But they’d be talking in Canto if it was her.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you lied to me,” Lucas says. “Dragged me into this mess.”

“I didn’t lie to you, just...it doesn’t matter,” the girl replies. “You’re right, I have to tell her.”

“But why? Why does she have to know? Can’t you just go to the–”

“You know exactly why,” she sighs. “You know why I can’t do that, not when it’s been a year and I’ve said nothing about that night.”

“But how is telling her any different?” Lucas asks, pressing again. “And why do you have to tell her now, all of a sudden? How does that change anything?”

“Nothing, nothing, don’t worry about it,” the girl responds. “Just–”

Kun’s phone buzzes with a text message notification, and his mind wanders off as he checks his phone, their words fading into the pleasant background noise of constant conversations in the cafe.

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

Jeno’s phone buzzes in his pocket as he’s paying for his Sprite at the register. He uncaps the bottle, drinks a bit, and then walks outside towards Yeri and the others, checks his phone. It’s probably his mom, same way Yeri’s mom called her earlier, so he goes to respond and–

It’s not his mom.

It’s a text.

It’s a text from…

The person they all kept talking about. 

The person they said wouldn’t text him.

“What about you, Jaemin?”

**Unknown Number :** _Simon says that if any of you snitch, Jeno will end up dead in a ditch. Just like Mark! In Yeri’s trunk there’s a prize, that bitch better open it before he dies._

Jeno’s blood runs cold.

So they weren’t lying. This is real, and this Simon person is following them.

“He can get a ride from me. So, are you going to tell us whose car it was?”

What the hell is in Yeri’s trunk?

_Jeno will end up dead._

What’s back there?

_Dead in a ditch._

Is it Mark?

_Just like Mark!_

“Yeah...about that, it’s–”

“Yeri,” Jeno interrupts them, and he feels himself shaking, why is he shaking? “You...you guys weren’t lying, were you?”

She gives him a funny look. “What?” she says.

They all turn around to look at him. He feels his mind going blank. “What’s wrong?” Haechan asks.

“What...what did he leave for you?”

Only the faint electrical buzz of The Vending Machine’s neon signage illuminates the silence stifling the air.

Yeri looks at him with shocked eyes, and the three of them turn to stare at him. Renjun looks back at Yeri, eyes frowning.

“What...who? What are you talking about?”

Who the hell is Simon?

“What the hell’s in your trunk, Yeri?”

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

“Hey, Yeri! Hey, Jaemin! How’s it going?” Kun says cordially as he sees the two of them walk into Cat’s Corner, right before the end of his shift.

“It’s going good, Kun!” Jaemin smiles. “How’s your day been so far?”

“Not bad! Been a bit busy this morning but it’s all good. What can I get started for you two?”

“One matcha latte, please,” Yeri says. 

“Phrenic, please.”

“Extra two shots of espresso, right?” Kun asks.

“Actually, four this time.”

“Jaemin, you really need to watch your caffeine intake,” Yeri says. “It’s a bad habit.”

“I will, just not today,” he shrugs. “Maybe it’ll help put me in a better mood.”

“Coffee does that for you sometimes,” Kun nods. “Anything else?”

“Oh, and one of the frangipanes too, please,” Jaemin says, pointing to one in the glass case.

“ _Jaemin_.”

“Make it two.”

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jaemin questions him, two eyes darting back and forth between him and Yeri.

“This...what does this mean?” Jeno says, showing the message and why the hell is this happening, why does this keep happening to him, to them?

Renjun takes his phone and reads it out loud.

“Simon says if any of you snitch, Jeno will end up dead in a ditch,” Renjun says.

Immediately the five of them look around the parking lot for someone, something, anything, but there’s nothing. The parking lot is totally empty except for Yeri and Renjun’s cars, save for the other one parked at the side, presumably for the Archer’s cashier and his wife at The Vending Machine’s register.

“Just like Mark,” Renjun continues, and then Haechan and Jaemin both look at him.

“Snitch about what? What the hell is he talking about?” Jaemin demands.

“Holy shit, he’s talking about if I snitch,” Haechan pales. “He’s...fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

_Dead in a ditch._

_Just like Mark!_

Jeno thinks he’s starting to lose his mind, if he hasn't already.

“He...he said Mark is dead,” Renjun says quietly, all he can muster right now.

“But why?” Jaemin says, voice growing more alarmed now. “Why is he threatening Jeno like this? You guys said this wasn't supposed to happen!”

“I...I don’t know, I don’t know,” Haechan says, but that’s not true, because Simon knows about the postcard, doesn’t he? About him wanting to go down to the police station, but how can Simon know that, how does Simon know that when those are Jeno’s thoughts and no one else’s? He’s just being paranoid, right?

“In Yeri’s trunk there’s a prize...bitch better open it before he dies,” Renjun finishes, the silence growing more horrendous with each passing second, all of them realizing the implication.

Haechan looks like he’s about to cry. “What...what he did to me, he’s going to do to you now, too,” he says, voice shivering, all the honey and playfulness sucked out of it.

“No. We don’t get intimidated,” Renjun says forcefully. “We’re not letting him do this. Whatever we do–”

“Should we...check?” Jaemin asks, hesitant.

_Did you remember to check?_

Jeno looks around again, checking behind him, looking for any trace of someone else–

“Who the hell are you looking for?” Renjun asks.

“I–I don’t know, Simon, someone, whoever knows we’re here tonight–”

“Stop, that’s the least of our worries right now,” Renjun says, “fuck, what the hell does any of this mean–”

“Yeri, where are you going?” Jaemin asks, an alarmed tone to his voice as she starts running off towards her car.

They all chase after her as she presses the unlock button so many times, the lights flickering on and off with each click. And then stop when she stops in front of her trunk. 

“What...what the hell did he put in my trunk?!” Yeri says, frantic now, eyes darting erratically amongst all of them. “How the hell did he break into my car?! Just-who, who the hell is doing this to us?!”

 _She didn’t know,_ Jeno thinks. _Simon didn’t text her, like Haechan._

But Simon...Simon, who the hell is he?

“Quiet down, quiet down,” Renjun whispers harshly. “We can’t draw attention to ourselves, the cashiers still haven’t left yet.”

“Should...should we check?” Donghyuck asks.

_Bitch better open it before he dies._

“I think...I think we have to,” Jeno shivers.

They all turn to him, Yeri’s eyes wide with shock.

“Why?”

“Because...because Simon says so,” Jaemin answers.

Yeri opens the trunk.

  
  
  


“OH MY GOD–”

«««

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

“Oh my god, Kun!”

Kun turns around to see Joy walking towards him at the acai bowl cafe as he waits for his order. He flashes a friendly smile. “Oh, hey!”

“What’s up?” Joy says. “I haven’t seen you since graduation, how have you been?”

“Oh, good, you know, just working this summer at Cat’s Corner,” Kun replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, yeah! Didn’t you work there last summer too?”

“Yeah, been working there on and off again for the past year, actually.”

“Wow, that’s so cool,” Joy replies. “Are you on your way to work right now?”

“Oh, no, no,” Kun says, “I actually got off my shift half an hour ago. But I wanted something to eat, and Chenle’s been pestering me about trying this place before I leave for college. Actually, he said that you took him and Jisung here once?”

“Oh yeah!” Joy says. “No yeah, Chenle’s so cute, he’s always over at our house this summer hanging out with Jisung, I take them out for wherever they wanna go, you know, like the supportive older sister I am.”

“No yeah, sounds good, sounds good.”

“So, what’s up with you this summer?” she asks. “Are you going to Johnny and Yuta’s party later this week?”

“Uh...actually, I wasn’t invited,” he says, chuckling a bit as he puts his hands in his pockets.

“What?! That’s so weird,” Joy says. “Johnny told me he was gonna tell you about it!”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah! He said you were totally invited when I asked him.”

Kun figures she’s just trying to soften the blow, since he has no idea why Joy would ask Johnny about whether Kun was coming to his party. She’s dating Jaehyun, isn’t she?

Actually, speaking of…

“Ah, okay, maybe I’ll text him about it,” Kun says, even though he will do no such thing. “Actually, I think I might’ve seen him today? I think I saw his car, actually, yeah, I heard about this party earlier, from Jaehyun?”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, he came by earlier this afternoon to get an Americano,” Kun explains. “When he walked out, I think I saw him go to Johnny’s car? I don’t know, at least I thought it was Johnny in the driver’s seat.”

“Oh, that’s...interesting,” Joy says, lingering a bit on the word. “He was hanging out with Johnny this morning, was he?”

“Uh...yes, I guess? I didn't actually know if it was Johnny, though.”

“Hmm, good to know,” Joy hums.

“Oh, sorry, was I not supposed to have told you that?”

“No, no, it’s all good,” Joy laughs. “It’s not a big deal, I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“Yeah, haha,” Kun just laughs back nervously.

“Pitaya bowl!” the cashier calls out.

“That’s me,” Kun says, walking up to pick up his bowl before returning. “But hey, it was great seeing you!”

“No yeah, great seeing you too, Kun!” Joy says, smiling brilliantly as always. “We should totally hang out sometime this summer, you know? Before we like, all go off to college.”

“Yeah no, yeah, totally agree,” Kun says. “Anyways, see you!”

“Yeah, no yeah! See you this weekend at Johnny and Yuta’s party!” she calls out to him as he walks out of the acai bowl cafe.

As soon as Kun gets into his car, he can’t help but let out a frustrated groan before turning on the ignition.

“What the hell was that conversation?” he mutters to himself.

⇋ ⇋ ⇋

»»»

“WHAT THE HELL–”

“HOLY SHIT–”

“FUCK–”

“STOP, KEEP YOUR VOICES–shut up, _shut the fuck up_!” Renjun commands all of them, immediately realizing they’re speaking too loud, because if they draw any attention from anyone else, even in the empty parking lot past curfew, then the rest of them will be dead men walking. He closes the trunk.

“Renjun–”

“Go, just go,” Renjun says, voice cold and authoritative. “Get out of here, now.”

“But–”

“Jaemin, just, go with Yeri, we’ll figure this out, _go_ ,” Renjun says. “Haechan, Jeno, come with me, we’ll follow them out.”

“What–shit, what are we gonna do, what the _hell_ are we going to do?!”

“Nothing, we do nothing, just go, now!”

“Fuck, _fuck_ , this is so messed up–”

“Shut up, just–get to my car, now!” Renjun commands as he shoves Jeno his keys and Haechan runs back, grabbing hold of his hand as he feels the whole world moving too slowly.

In the back of Yeri’s car, the five of them found the lizard plushie from the photo with Mark. Although it’s not quite the same in the picture, placed on top of a large gardening shovel’s blade, and maybe a bit more colored than it was before.

Colored by the crimson blood of one Jaehyun Jung, lying unresponsive in a body bag next to the shovel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy belated birthday, J <3  
> Love,  
> Simon
> 
> Are we out of the woods yet, Jaemin?  
> 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mundane_blues)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/mundane_blues)  
> [cruel summer playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3yIbwcVV4HB8dof53aByqE?si=h_1C_y7KTPaRbTCqBvvEmQ)  
> [Yeri's playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2l4SkGmWEnYlNRZUtzK6NZ?si=xbah54oXRMu3tN4j4YrE9g)


End file.
